• Member Since 1st Oct, 2019
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago

Timothy1509


I have been writing Twirax stories since 2019.

T
Source

Princess Twilight Sparkle of Friendship was assigned to prepare some equipments in Canterlot castle for the gala day that will be on by next week with the help of her friends. However, the obligation has made some unexpected twists when Twilight mysteriously gets sent to the Everfree forest after an accident. Now, the young Princess is lost. But all hopes we're not lost until a being came in and took her to his Kingdom for a stay. However, the long stay will also establish a new bond between the two.

New story! I hope you all will enjoy this one too! This story was inspired by The Bug in the cave story.

Also, I do not own My Little Pony, it belongs to Hasbro. And the coverart I am using also belongs to it's rightful owner.

Chapters (12)
Comments ( 40 )

awesome chapter mate keep it up can't wait for the next chapter:pinkiehappy::twilightsmile:

You just taking a lesson from Ubisoft, have you? I:rainbowlaugh:

That is a harsh cliffhanger but I love it!

10838197
Thank you so much!

10837989
Uh... no, in fact, this wasn't inspired by any videogames at all.

10837989
The heck are you talking about?

10838471
Ubisoft famous for "milking" the games they got... And you write a lot of about Twirax make me think about Ubisoft so much

Interesting cliffhanger, I love it. But why's your story had 11 dislike?.

awesome chapter mate keep it up:pinkiehappy::twilightsmile:

awesome chapter mate keep it up cant wait for the next chapter:pinkiehappy::twilightsmile:

awesome chapter mate keep it up cant wait for the next chapter:pinkiehappy::twilightsmile:

10838911
I'ma take a guess.

The story has lots of weird word choices like either english isn't their first language or AI that doesn't understand normal people don't use these words in conversation weird.

Then it's got this major plot hole of twilight can teleport so why doesn't she just teleport back?

It's not tagged AU but it's very much alternate universe as twilight hadn't already met thorax.

10841274

It's not tagged AU but it's very much alternate universe as twilight hadn't already met thorax.

Oh yeah, hehe, I forgot to put in the AU tag, thank you for pointing it out though.

Then it's got this major plot hole of twilight can teleport so why doesn't she just teleport back?

She is still in weak condition to even use magic. Plus, she would love to accumulate some knowledge about Thorax's species.

10841354
Still tomatoes |T. But I think you should write each chapter have 2k-3k words to improve yourself

awewsome chapter mate keep it up cant wait for the next chapter:pinkiehappy::twilightsmile:

awesome chapter mate keep it up cant wait for the next chapter:pinkiehappy::twilightsmile:

10846552
Could you don't spam that sentence like a bot? I see quite annoying.

Nice, an update on my birthday! Well done!

10848681
Thanks! And happy birthday!

When Thorax heard the familiar voice, his eyes widened in surprise, and he got a bit scared.

The suspense is already killing me, and the chapter JUST went up today.

awesome chapter mate keep it up cant wait for the next chapter:pinkiehappy::twilightsmile:

10850841
Thanks very much.

10850765
I'm glad to see that the story has managed to exhilarate you completely.:twilightsmile:

awesome chapter mate keep it up cant wait for the next chapter:pinkiehappy::twilightsmile:

awesome chapter mate keep it up cant wait for the next chapter:pinkiehappy::twilightsmile:

awesome chapter mate keep it up cant wait for the next chapter:pinkiehappy::twilightsmile:

Nice , I hope that Ponies be nice for Thorax

I hope Celestia and rest of mane 6 be nice for Thorax

I honestly expected Chrysalis not Pharynx.

What? Isn't a large part of the gala being it's an event with particular ponies at it?

Why would she ask for them to setup a dance there? Why not just ask for help getting back in time? It's not like she's that far away.

10858154
Yeah but, this is an alternative story so therefore, there will be lots and lots of exceptions.

Also, thanks for once again reading and commenting down on my story!:twilightsmile:

10858060
Thank you. And I hope so too.

10858408
Well, having a dance in another Kingdom would be entertaining to her. Plus, she doesn't know the direction back home, or where her friends and families are.

10858659
The changelings should have some idea where the ponies are yet she hasn't asked them for help. Also she has been there for several days now and ought to be well enough rested to attempt a teleport.

Sure she'd enjoy it but it's like saying i've got tickets to disney world but that would require going outside so i'll just stay home and play Kingdom Hearts it's basically the same thing anyway.

While she is obviously enjoying her time there she should know that she has been missing for days and her friends and family would be worried about her yet she hasn't put any effort into trying to contact them or trying to find a way back.

10858958

The changelings should have some idea where the ponies are yet she hasn't asked them for help.

True but, she still has to earn their trusts due to them still viewing her as another species compared to them. So yeah, she still needs time in order to earn their friendships.

While she is obviously enjoying her time there she should know that she has been missing for days and her friends and family would be worried about her yet she hasn't put any effort into trying to contact them or trying to find a way back.

I completely agree with you. Her friends an family would indeed be concerned for her safety but, you'll just have to wait and see what will happen in the future chapters.

awesome chapter mate keep it up cant wait for the next chapter:pinkiehappy::twilightsmile:

Yep, gotta have the act 2 break up scene which leads to the male love interest doing something heroic to win back the female love interest's heart for the story to move onto the 3rd act twist. Classic story telling good work, but i kind've wished the "break up because the male love interest loses female love interest because Reason" (for this story not being honest) happened a chapter or two after they got together and were already a couple were actively planning to marry before this break up scene. To an "outsider looking in" as it were there was a lot of build up and then essentially a one night stand then the next day "oops liar revealed run away" sadly there was no build up to this i re-read the story just to see when Thorax could've lied about not knowing about ponies or their rulers and i got nothing it showed in several chapters he knew of and understood ponies well even going so far as saying don't hurt Twilight because she is a pony princess and if they did they would be struck down by the other more powerful rulers of the ponies. So having Twilight find the book and acusing Thorax for hiding and lying doesn't gel well for me in this story it honestly felt forced but i'm not you author maybe there was something in that book Twi read that upset her you haven't stated in the story thus far. If there is i'm curious about it and hope the next chapter will explain it.

10868718
I know, I didn't reveal that much information about Thorax knowing the pony race ever since he was a young drone. I'll try to be more specific next time.

Either than that, thanks for reading!

Hello everyone, how are you all doing? And hey, I've got something unfortunate to tell you all, I've accidentally deleted two story chapters in this story, one in particular I did not want to get rid of. So, I just want to say that I'm sorry, and I hope you all will still enjoy the story.

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