• Member Since 12th Aug, 2019
  • offline last seen 13 minutes ago

Ninjadeadbeard


"Nothing is so trivial that it's not worth an extended, heated, hostile discussion." --Anonymous, 2020 | Buy me a ko-fi?

T

Sunset's always been into bad boys, but how bad is too bad?

When they unironically call themselves a Dark Lord? Yeah. That might be too bad...


Written for the May 2021 Pairing Contest by the Original Pairings Group.

Won First Prize in the Sunset Shimmer X EG Villain Shipping Contest!


Sex tag is just for comments made in story. Thanks to Short Tale for editing!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 76 )

*Slow claps*
*But not in a condescending way, more like genuine surprise and awe*

Wow... This should be interesting. :raritywink:

“As I said,” Grogar thus spake, “I am Grogar. Dark Lord of Tambelon…”
“Yeah, yeah, we heard you!” Rainbow shouted over the talking ram. “But… why did we hear you?”
“Because I spake,” Grogar said, his voice rolling over his audience, “and when Grogar speaks… all must pay heed.”

:eeyup:

“When you cry out at your nightmares,” he hissed with menace, “it is Grogar that you see. I dwell in the darkest hearts of men, and I exist in the hurried, hateful thoughts you carry with you through life. I...”
Sunset giggled, and gave the ram a quick scratch under his chin.
“Aw, isn’t he great?” she asked. “Such a sense of humor! We met at the ice cream parlor.”
Grogar paused. Glancing to one side, one could almost think he may have been blushing beneath his blue coat.
“And sometimes I go to ice cream parlors,” he said, somewhat meekly. “They have over thirty-one flavors…”

:trixieshiftright:

“I was cast into this wretched dimension centuries ago, after my magical Bewitching Bell was stolen by an upstart unicorn named Gusty the Great,” he said, eyes taking on a distant look. “I wandered your earth for an age, taking whatever I wished, and slaying whom I desired. I burned empires, child. I ravaged this world… and found such things meaningless, with time.
“Now, I teach woodshop at the community college,” he finished with a shrug. “But, yes. I am still evil.”

:trollestia:

This was a joy to read! Great work!
:heart:

Hold up.
Wait a minute.
Something ain't right.

Are you going to write a story where Sunset dates Zephyr next?

I adore this silly story, great work! :twilightsmile:

I know this was going to be glorious when I read the title. I was not disappointed.

Maybe Sunset should go back to Flash. Princess Twilight might get jealous, but she had enough time to bag him but didn't.:rainbowlaugh:

10834233
I'm not that cruel! :twilightoops:

10834250
Go back to Flash?

Unless you mean Flash Magnus or Flash from DC Comics, then I VERY much disagree.

“I’m telling you guys,” she complained to Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie, and Twilight Sparkle at lunch, “something’s up. I can feel it! We’re gonna get into a magical fight with something any day now!”

Vietnam Flashbacks hitting hard :rainbowderp:

“Don’t be silly, Applejack!” Twilight laughed, and rolled her eyes. “I have all of you microchipped!”

I feel I've read this exact line before :rainbowhuh:

“The police never found a suspect,” she intoned icily, “and Angel’s an herbivore, so he couldn’t have…”

:trixieshiftright:

SWEET HEAVENS WHAT THE BUCK!?” Rarity screeched, her lunch tray sailing into the ceiling as she flailed her arms in a whirlwind and nearly fell out of her seat.

understandable reaction :rainbowlaugh:

“Grogar, what did I say?” Sunset chided the abomination with a wag of her finger. “These are my friends. Not slaves.”

Bit of a delayed response there Sunny

“Grogar is from Equestria, originally,” Sunset said. Then with a blush breaking out across her cheeks, she took a breath, and added, “He’s… also sort of my boyfriend.”

...

*I pull out my little list of ideas*

"Alternate universe where Sunset finds a resurrection spell in the forbidden library, brings back Grogar, and they become king and queen of Equestria."

“That’s illegal,” Fluttershy added, quietly. Maybe a little sadly. “I checked…”

of course you did :ajbemused:

One of my best friends married a cow, and no one made a big deal about it!

You had friends? :rainbowhuh:

the tigerforce at the heart of the world

This gave me Power Ranger's flashbacks.

“They have over thirty-one flavors…”

"OF DOOM!!"

Grogar snorted, “You, spectral human, are just upset you did not think of it first.”

“That’s beside the point!”

Ok, this genuinely got me laughing

“Now, I teach woodshop at the community college,”

Most usually open a bakery

“she’s nicknamed the psychopath…”

You guys befriended a psychopath. Multiple times!

“I mean… Flash is my ex…”

Okay, they belong to each other.

Wait, really!? But he seemed so sweet when you introduced him to Celestia!

I know, right!?

The F*ck? Did a gas vein started leaking in the castle?

A story as weird, ridiculous and funny as it's premise promised.

(I wonder if some of this will easter-egg its way into your main story)

I think Flash is more hurt by the fact that she replaced him with 'that'.

But Ninja, you tease. You always put little bits here and there about anecdotes that sounds like awesome stories on their own. The Hip Hop song on the Yatch? Angel Bunny eating someone? Ember visiting for tea? Fluttershy bestiality habits?

10834262

The Hip Hop song on the Yatch?

Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you hadn’t seen it yet.

Behold! The worst. Thing. Ever.

10834277
I watched it. I understand why they swore to never speak of this ever again.

my god you madlad you actually did it

10834261

You had friends? :rainbowhuh:

"Friends... acquaintences... uh, rivals? Yeah, gonna go with rivals."

The F*ck? Did a gas vein started leaking in the castle?

It would certainly explain that Royal Swan Ceremony...

(I wonder if some of this will easter-egg its way into your main story)

Only time will tell. :trollestia:

Wait, really!? But he seemed so sweet when you introduced him to Celestia!

*Face palm*

Quite hilarious, good show!

Holy sh....

This was disturbing and awesome at the same time. Well done!





Also that yacht song? The. Worst. Possible. Thing

10834435

Also that yacht song? The. Worst. Possible. Thing

As 10834261 hinted at, the "Hotties on a Yacht-y" song is banned in all my stories. A source of endless shame and rage on the Rainbooms' part. It will never not be something they always regret. :trollestia::rainbowlaugh::pinkiecrazy:

10834442
Totally agree! Hideous. :rainbowlaugh:

Well. That happened.

Huh.

10834456
Huh. Yeah, it did. :moustache:

What'd ya think?

10834464
Dunno really, think it needed Grogar doing a bit more than acting out the stereotype. He seemed just a bit "cardboardy", you know? More back and forth between him and Sunset. Perhaps a shared love of setting things on fire?

Everyone else was great.

10834515
Hmmmm... maybe so, yeah. Might have to think about that sometime. Thank you. :twilightsheepish:

10834353

Grogar is an old man and Sunset Shimmer is a teenager.

10834542
Well technically Sunset is somewhere in her mid-twenties, having graduated summa cum laude from CSGU before stranding herself in the human world. Why the portal set her back a decade or so, who knows.

Orrm #26 · May 27th · · ·

Grogar is inevitable

10834554

Well, if she was sixteen and Gorgar is eighty, He would be in Jail.

It’s...perfect. A more beautiful love story has yet to be told :trollestia:

10834197
well now we know why grogar not showed up in your story

Stars and Bars, Applejack?
:ajsmug:

I always wondered who was the inspiration for "Kiss the Go-Goat.". Now I know.

Via

Darkseid’s tigerforce line is a classic.

We do not speak of the yacht. Nor should we.

Oddly, Derpy just gave Sunset a happy wave as they passed her.

"He's mostly harmless. Maybe a little old for her."

Then, glancing over to Pinkie Pie, she asked, “Wait, could the rest of you hear that too?”

:rainbowlaugh: I'd never considered that, but yes, that would take her a moment to process.

I'd love to hear more about Smolder's tea party in the human world.

“They have over thirty-one flavors…”

Pinkie nodded solemnly. "Their power is mighty indeed."
"Grogar concurs, pink one."
... I swear I wrote this before I got to Pinkie actually doing that. :rainbowlaugh:

I expected Grogar to see Granny Smith behind the lunch counter and demand a rematch. For the twelfth time. What actually happened certainly works as well.

In any case, hilarious stuff throughout. Thank you for a delightful bit of madness. Best of luck in the judging.

Okay, this was definitely not what I expected...it was amazing!
I think the bit at the end is the best part, though.

This. I need more of this and I didn't even know it.

Took me too long to get to this one.

“We promised not to talk about the yacht… or the song…” Fluttershy sighed, forlorn, remember the hip-hop video she and the Rainbooms once made. The one they’d sworn to never speak about again.

Woah, Ninja, are you shitting on Dance Magic? Cuz you and I are gonna have fisticuffs if you are.

“Don’t be silly, Applejack!” Twilight laughed, and rolled her eyes. “I have all of you microchipped!”

Twilight Sparkle, you are under arrest for felony assault, false imprisonment, unlawful surveillance in the second degree, and practicing medicine without a license.

I am the darkness behind your eyes, and the tigerforce at the heart of the world.

Dafuq is tigerforce?

“Now, I teach woodshop at the community college,” he finished with a shrug. “But, yes. I am still evil.”

Ok, but wouldn't the resident magigirls have noticed an anthropomorphized ram teaching at community college? Especially Rainbow, who even earlier seemed desperate for magical excitement?

“He’s sweet, and sensitive. He has a sense of humor. He’s a gentleram in all the ways that I wanted to be swept off my hooves as a lonely filly, back then…”

Am I the only one who's kinda bummed this isn't longer, so we can see him treating Sunset this way? The romantic in me is a little sad...

Anyways, such a fun story! Well done, ninja.

10835682
No. Dance Magic was good fun.

But the yacht song... it hurts me.

I’m sorry this wasn’t longer, but it seems like most of my short stories wind up forcing me to write much much longer version down the road. So who knows?

“Hey! I didn’t say anything when she started dating Timber Spruce!”
“The fact that you’re equating those two is very concerning…” Twilight whispered.

I was going to make a crack about that, but you beat me to the punch. And frankly, Sunset dating Grogar is an order of magnitude less skeevy in my demented opinion. At least he's honest about being evil.

What the heck did I just read? Seriously, that was twisted, sick and wrong in so many different ways. I loved it. Bravo good author.

Also, the last few paragraphs were solid platinum.

10834257
Sunset Shimmer x Flash Magnus is an underappreciated ship

“I’m telling you guys,” she complained to Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie, and Twilight Sparkle at lunch, “something’s up. I can feel it! We’re gonna get into a magical fight with something any day now !”

If you feel that way, then you can go train.

Twilight frowned, and readjusted her glasses. “Which boat trip? The cruise ship or the… other one ?”

There were two?

“Don’t be silly, Applejack!” Twilight laughed, and rolled her eyes. “I have all of you microchipped!”

Wow.

“We’ve been sucked into alternate dimensions, pocket dimensions, a shed that one time…” Twilight began counting on her fingers, phone drifting in her telekinetic grip. “Frankly, being able to track everyone would have been extremely helpful on more than a few occasions.”

Isn’t it kinda useless when you’re in another dimension?

“The police never found a suspect,” she intoned icily, “and Angel’s an herbivore, so he couldn’t have…”

Yeah, but we all know who it is.

“Grogar, what did I say?” Sunset chided the abomination with a wag of her finger. “These are my friends . Not slaves.”

I thought I was the only one that heard that.

“Grogar is from Equestria, originally,” Sunset said. Then with a blush breaking out across her cheeks, she took a breath, and added, “He’s… also sort of my boyfriend.”

Ok, I knew sunset was crazy, but this probably takes the cake.

Then, after a few more seconds, Twilight cleared her throat, and screamed, “ ARE YOU CRAZY!? ”

And there it is, folks. The million dollar question.

Sunset’s face turned bright crimson, and she jabbed a finger at Twilight.

“Hey! I didn’t say anything when she started dating Timber Spruce!”

You can not compare that to this.

10835885

There were two?

We don't speak of the yacht...

10835952
I think I remember that one, but not the other one.

10836021
Well, there's the Spring Breakdown special, where the Rainbooms took a nice vacation on a cruise ship, and featured a(n all too short) trip into Equestria with Sunset, Sci-Twi, and Rainbow.

And then there's this abomination.

10836050
Didn’t the second one take place in spring breakdown? Because, they seem to be wearing the same thing.

10836076
Nothing definite in canon says one way or another, but since the girls seem to share the same outfits from short to short in their respective "Specials", I just assume it took place in a similar time frame.

But Spring Breakdown was pretty fun, so I prefer to think there's another degree of separation between it and... that.

10836081
What’s wrong with it anyways? Did I miss something?

10836090
It's a really awful hip-hop song. And I hate it. And so do a lot of people. So I made that joke. :rainbowlaugh:

Dear Princess Twilight,

Today, I learned that I might be a terrible judge of character.

None of my friends liked Grogar!

Wait, really!? But he seemed so sweet when you introduced him to Celestia!

I know, right!?

What the-

“We promised not to talk about the yacht… or the song…” Fluttershy sighed, forlorn, remember the hip-hop video she and the Rainbooms once made. The one they’d sworn to never speak about again.

Yes. It never existed.

10834250
There are no words in the english lexicon to explain how much I disagree with your statement.

Login or register to comment