The Adventure of the Apex Legion (Old Version)

by DeffBwade

Chapter 2: Escape From the Everfree

"Can't nobody tell me nothing.
You can't tell me nothing.
Can't nobody tell me nothing.
You can't tell me nothing.
Yeah, I'm gonna take my horse to the old town road.
I'm gonna ride till I can't no more."

Wait. Is this song considered offensive to me since I'm an equine now? Maybe? I don't know. I've been walking through this forest for I'd say...45 minutes now, and I still haven't found any sign of civilization or help. I don't even know if I'm going the right. I just picked a random direction and hoped for the best, but right now, I'm starting to lose hope. No. I can't think like that. As I learned from the Ace Attorney games and anime: don't give up till it's over. The sun is still out, so I don't have to worry about freezing in the night for now.

I've been switching between carrying Zer0 in my mouth and balancing it on my back, because I don't have a scabbard to hold it in and walking on three legs just feels weird after a while. I also put my hood down and put my mask up due to it being pretty hot. You might be asking yourself "Well, why doesn't he just take off his coat and scarf? The answer to that is I literally have no idea. I just felt like keeping them on. If I had to guess, is that it's because I already don't have pants, and taking off my coat would make me feel even more naked.

Every so often, I would see the occasional bird flying and squirrel scampering. It's a good thing I ate a shit ton of pizza before I got transported here, so I don't have to worry about food for a while. Eating the animals wasn't on option due to me being a herbivore now, and I didn't want to risk eating a poisonous plant. It's not because I don't have the basic of survival skills, but rather most of the plants were completely unknown to me.

Sighing, I sat down next to a tree to get some rest. If this is what the people on Naked and Afraid felt like, then I feel really bad for them, cause this is a fucking nightmare. I looked at the sun to see if it was close to nighttime. If I had to guess, it was sometime around the afternoon, so I still have time before I have to deal with the night.

Maybe I need to approach a different tactic cause walking isn't getting me anymore. I needed to get to a vantage point. I looked around for the tallest tree around me. Once I saw it, I walked over to it, placed Zer0 down next to it, and tried climbing it. Emphasis on "tried." It was a total pain trying to climb a tree with hooves. It took an estimated total of 15 minutes to get to the top, but I managed to do it. And I totally did not fall down 4 times while doing it.

Once I reached the top, I started scanning my surroundings. So far, all I saw were trees.

And trees.

And more trees.

And even more trees.

Until...

My eyes widened as I saw something.

In the distance, I'd say about quarter of a mile away, was a small town, but that wasn't really the eye catcher. No, what really drew my attention was the giant structure. IT WAS BIG, SCARY, AND PINK! Nah, I'm just kidding, but it was big. It was purple in color, had a giant star shape on top of it, and, this was probably just me, but it looked like it was made of crystals. I pumped my fist...hoof in the air and hollered in joy. It was time to finally settle down and meet the locals, but first I couldn't pass down the opportunity to shout something else.

"IT'S OVER ANAKIN! I HAVE THE HIGH GROUND!"

I placed my leg down on the branch below and tried climbing down. Again, emphasis on "tried." The branch broke immediately and I fell down the whole way, hitting every branch and cursing out loud.

"OW! OW! SON! OW! OF! OW! A! BITCH! OW!" I screamed until I finally hit the ground. I stood back up, only to immediately regret it. My left front leg felt sore as shit and it caused me to lay back down on the ground. Thankfully, nothing felt broken and the only other thing I had were a few small cuts. This new body was resilient as shit. I looked over my clothes groaned as I noticed they received most of cuts and were now dirty. Great. Guess I gotta add rest my leg and refurbish my clothes on the list of things I need to do, only the former was technically already on there.

I picked Zer0 back up and proceeded to walk towards the direction of time while resting my leg, either by lifting it up on walking on three legs, like I said felt weird after a while, or by putting as little pressure as possible on it. This was the homestretch. I just had to make it to the town and I will officially start this adventure. Unbeknownst to me, however, there were a pair of glowing green eyes watching me from the shadows.

---

You know it's funny. We have stuff like houses, cell phones, and cars, and we sometimes take them for granted. We don't really know how important they are in our lives until we actually lose them. Once I get out of this forest I'm gonna snuggle down on some random person's couch and just sleep.

For about 5 minutes I've been walking, or should I say hobbling, and my leg has been slowly getting better. Like I said before, I have a resilient body. Finally, I see the treeline and leap in joy. I put all my energy to good use and book it to the treeline, only to stop a few seconds later. I sniffed the air again and pressed my hoof against my nose...muzzle to block out the god-awful stench. Seriously, it smelled like a skunk had diarrhea while letting out a fart at the same time, or Jrod after he eats his Mexican food.

I then heard the one noise I dreaded hearing to entire time I was walking through the forest.

GGGGGRRRRRR

Growling.

GGGGGRRRRRR

Specifically the growling of a wolf.

I turned my head in the direction the growling came from an saw a pair of eyes, glowing green in the shadows. And seeing how high the eyes were above the ground, this wolf must've been huge. I held Zer0 in my mouth (remember Zer0 is what I call my sword so please don't call me gay) while slowly backing away towards the treeline. The growling continued as the eyes came closer, until finally I saw what my stalker looked like.

Out from the shadows was indeed a wolf, and just as I thought, it was huge. Not only that, but its skin looked it was entirely made of wood and leaves. My heart was beating at the sight of it. How could this thing be alive if it's made out of wood? Then again, trees are technically alive and they're made out of wood. Even though I was afraid, I didn't show it because I knew that those that showed fear are usually the weakest. Learned that from the Batman Arkham games.

The silence was finally broken when the wood wolf started barking and charging at me. It leapt up in an attempt to swipe its claws at me, but I wasn't having it. I ducked down and dodged to the right, avoiding the attack. The wolf then started to continually swipe its claws, but I managed to dodge them. It's a good thing that even though I lack strength, I make up for it by being quite nimble, but just dodging left and right won't help me. I needed to defend myself. The wolf stomped hard on the ground, and that was when I took the opportunity to swing my head and strike it in the leg with Zer0. A part of the leg tore off, as if I actually hit a tree.

The wolf howled in pain at the strike. It then proceeded to strike me with as much speed as it can. With every claw swipe it gave, I simply ducked down. With every stomp it gave, I would dodge and then strike with all my might. As the fight progressed, I put on a smug face as my confidence kept increasing.

"What's wrong? Can't take down such a small thing like myself? You know, I was actually afraid of you, but now this is just fun. It thought you were some kind of apex preda-"

In hindsight, I probably should've listened to Han Solo and his advise "don't get cocky," cause it was in that moment that I knew, I fucked up. As I said that, the wolf managed to hit me with a claw swipe, launching me into a nearby tree. I hit the tree, which broke at the impact, and fell to the ground. Zer0 fell out of my mouth as I stared at the wolf with my slightly blurry vision. I felt a warm liquid slowly falling down my side. It doesn't take a genius to know what it was. I looked at my side and saw a claw mark in my clothes and flesh, with blood seeping out from them. Good news, my wings were intact. Bad news, they won't be for any longer as the wolf was slowly approaching me. Time started to slow down and my life actually started to flash before my eyes as it got into a pouncing stance.

Before the inevitable could happen, a purple laser suddenly hit the wolf. It backed away as it yelped in fear and pain.

"Get away from him you wooden beast!" yelled a female voice as the wolf retreated back into the forest.

The last thing I saw was a purple figure coming into my view before my vision became even more blurry and then faded away, and all I saw was black.

Author's Note:

I'm pretty sure you guys know what's gonna happen next chapter. Anyways, hope you guys are enjoying the story so far.