Letter I: Celestia
From the desk of HRH Celestia, Canterlot.
This letter is intended to allow me to jot down my thoughts as I partake in what Twilight is calling an experiment, though to my mind it feels more like therapy. But I am not opposed to the latter, particularly not when I can engage in it without having to burden another pony.
Twilight’s experiment is simple. Each of us is to drink the small vial of potion she supplied, and then write our thoughts for the few minutes that the potion lasts. The potion is supposed to lower our natural mental inhibitions, though not so much as to make us go wild. Just enough to allow us to express some of our inner thoughts in a form where we can better examine them.
We are not required to send the response back.
I do hope that Shining Armor will be able to supply enough pink paper and pens for all the hearts Cadance will no doubt draw while under the potion’s influence. It will be like when she first ascended all over again. A shame I won’t be there to see it, but even the thought makes me smile.
I have taken the potion, and must report that the taste was rather awful. While I am not the cake fiend that many believe me to be, I certainly wouldn’t mind having a slice here now to help get that taste out of my mouth.
Jokes about my supposed cake habits are infinitely preferable to most of the other things ponies whisper about me.
Celestia the Tyrant. Celestia the Chessmaster. Celestia the Aloof, the Uncaring, the Thoughtless. The names change, but the meaning remains the same – the implication that I am somehow a plotting, conniving creature, neutral at best and evil at worst.
Hmm. This potion works quickly.
Still, you would think that such statements grow easier to hear when you’ve lived as long as I have.
Unfortunately, they do not.
And sometimes the unsaid ones are worse.
But I digress – Twilight gave me a question to answer while having taken the potion. If you could do whatever you wanted for a day, what would that be?
That is a question I have often had occasion to ponder. Having been shackled to the yoke of ruling this land for more than a thousand years, I have come to accept that dreaming of escape is not only inevitable, but necessary.
Sometimes I’ve dreamed of simply getting away from here for a while. Flying where I want, the wind through my feathers, not a care in the world. There were places I once traveled with Luna that I have not seen in eons, places I would like to visit again.
On rougher days, the kind of days where I really do live up to my cake-eating reputation, I’ve dreamed of giving those who speak ill of me a real reason to fear. I have no desire to rule as a tyrant, but there is more than a little real estate in Canterlot that could stand to be scorched by the power of the Sun, and the owners with it.
It would be so simple, really. It’s my star, and my right to do with it as I will. Just one tiny application of magic, one little flick of my mind, and they would cease to exist, reduced to little more than ash and regret.
My regret, not theirs.
I’ve done it before, though never for such petty reasons. The official stories speak of how Luna and I used the Elements to stop Discord, but that was hardly the first thing we tried. And Discord was not our only enemy, nor was he the last I had to face. After Luna was banished, and the Elements no longer answered my call, I had to resort to desperate measures on more than one occasion.
Ponies wonder if I’m embarrassed that Twilight and her friends have saved the kingdom – have saved me – on multiple occasions. Far from it. Their successes come in a way consistent with Harmony.
I'm merely glad I no longer have to add to the chains that weigh on me.
Twilight Sparkle is – despite her many failings – the best example of ponykind I have ever encountered, the best hope for Equestria’s glorious future. And she doesn’t see it – not one bit.
I would do anything to protect her from harm…and yet my duty requires me to throw her into pain time and time again.
That’s the real joy of this position. That’s why ponies see me as cold and calculating; not because of any exceptional skill I possess, but because I have learned to keep certain ponies at hoof’s length to keep my own heart from being shredded.
Not that that’s ever worked. As I realized long ago, you can have your heart broken more than once, even if you don’t dally in romance.
I’m so sorry, Luna.
There’s one question nopony has ever asked me. I’d like to think it’s because they assume I would demure to answer, but I know the truth.
Nopony has ever asked why I continue to rule Equestria because they can’t see why anypony wouldn’t want to. They can’t understand that want doesn’t factor into it.
I continue to rule Equestria because I can’t see any way out.
Why would I continue to do something I hate, you might ask?
It’s because despite all their follies, despite all the times ponies lie to me, and betray me, and disappoint me, (oh, the disappointments!)…I still love them.
I love all of them, even the ones that hate me.
Especially the ones that hate me.
I never had foals of my own. At first, it was for fear they’d be used against me. By the time I felt safe to try having them, my position meant that any sort of stallion I would want to marry was no longer one I could marry. And so, I chose to remain as I was.
And yet…my children are innumerable. They may not call me Mother, that highest title that I never earned, and yet I am a mother to them. I have shepherded generations of ponies, seeing their triumphs, their follies, their loves, their hopes and dreams.
That is why I persist, even when my very soul cries out for rest.
How could I not?
And that is why I do not hold Twilight back from trials and tests. Some may consider it the greatest cruelty to have plans to install her in this position, to subject her back to a load I have never felt worthy to carry.
But I cannot shoulder my burdens forever, and when the first real hope for Equestria’s future lies at my hooves…my duty requires me to act accordingly.
I am sorry, Twilight, for what you will face. And yet…the rewards are beyond measure.
I pray that you will understand this faster than I did.
You wished to know what I would do with a day of freedom, Twilight?
I would gladly trade it away if it meant you could come to understand even one day sooner that which I have come to know. That the duty of being Princess of Equestria, the worst duty in the world...is also the very best.
With undying love and compassion,
Celestia.
This letter was sent to Twilight after she assumed the throne, without edits or changes, and is presented here as originally written.
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This has made me curious. Now let's see what the other letters say...
Unbridled honesty... from Celestia’s point of view.
Just a small point, since Celestia narrates everything from her view, is hard to tell what it's being written in the response and what is just her rambling. Maybe use italics so we can be sure what exactly she sends back.
Apart from that I agree and disagree with some of what Celestia is saying which in my mind is very good way of writing her.
Let's see what the others respond and I hope at the end we get to see the reason why Twilight does this.
10821915
I've made a few tweaks to clarify - the letters are optional to send back. Twilight understands that some of the contents may be too personal to share with others, and she won't be so insensitive as to demand them.
I also made an edit, which will be a feature of future chapters, on whether the letters were sent back, and if so, when.
As for the content, what you see is what was in the letter. No edits or changes. Think of it more like a freehoof writing exercise on their part.
10821930
This is quite interesting.
Oh so just dump everything in. i guess it makes sense if they're under the potions influence.
Very well, I'm now more excited to see more.
I quite enjoyed this
I hope you don't stop with just the mane six. It would be great to see alot more ponies getting a chance to do this experiment
10821960
I wonder if Trixie would get one. Or Twilight's parents.
This concept has my complete attention. Love it!
10821964
Trixie doesn't need a potion to not have a filter.
This is some really great characterization of Celestia.
10822212
On the contrary, boastful people are often the ones that hide the most secrets about themselves.
Love the job you hate. One of the reasons I consider Between Dark and Dawn to be one of the best episodes in MLP is that we got to see an unfiltered Celestia going out and just enjoying the things in life she loves, and showing that there was more to Princess Celestia than just the Princess part.
I for one can't wait to see Cadance's response. I think there's going to be a lot more to it than Celestia suspects.
Also, I have five bits that say the potion does absolutely nothing. Placebo is one hell of a drug in and of itself.
This is some under appreciated, good shit. I can’t help but laugh at how applicable the author’s “bio” is to their style and themes.
The story, so far, is a unique prospect to be sure. It purports to show the uninhibited thoughts of important characters, committed to paper.
The premise sounds mildly intriguing on it’s own, but to be honest the first chapter/letter makes enough good choices that I’m engaged.
It is a wise move to put forth Celestia’s letter first, and it’s oh-so-sweet of a feeling to get a better description of the why than the show could ever produce. Why rule? Why abdicate? Why care? Why hold back? Why not?
I’ll patiently await the rest. I do hope however, that future chapters clarify whether their letters are sent or not.
Always loved the all loving ever hard working celestia way more then the tyrant version. Though her being all powerful is something I’m not a fan of either but this does it’s is a pretty interesting way.
Nice work, can’t wait for more chapters
That letter really shines through to me - after a thousand years of benevolent (as afar as we know) rule, I feel that Celestia surely wants it all to end.