Epilogue
Two Weeks Later
Once upon a time, Manehattan’s train station was a monument to Equestrian aesthetics. The pristine white marble construction reflected the natural light that spilled in from the multiple floor-to-ceiling windows at the front of the building. In the middle of the terminal was a golden representation of Princess Celestia’s cutie mark, that was lit up when the sun was at its peak thanks to the sun roof above it.
It truly was beautiful, or at least it was at some point.
The floors were covered up by cots and blankets from wall to wall, all of them a drab green or dark blue. The windows had all been covered save for a few feet at the top to still let a little sunlight through, which didn’t improve the mood of the occupants inside.
Hundreds of ponies were inside, all of them thin and near-lifeless. Their eyes all glazed over as they sat on their little piece of land that they were assigned. They were all just waiting, like they were told to. Sometimes a guard would come in, take one of them, and escort them out of the building never to return.
“I’m hungry, Cheerilee…” The little voice was but a whimper. It came from an orange filly whose head was resting on the mare beside her. To punctuate her point, her stomach growled and she looked to her current steward with pain filled purple eyes.
“I know, Scootaloo. I am too.” The mare rested a cerise hoof on the filly’s side. She looked no better than any other pony in the building, her coat was dull and you could see her ribs through her coat. Being fed once a day if they were lucky was not doing any favors to anypony in the camp.
It seemed like just yesterday that all of the survivors from Ponyville, including the unicorns that had come from below Twilight’s castle, were herded onto a train and sent off to Manehattan. It was a fever dream since that day as everything just seemed to flow around her in a blur.
The unaccompanied foals that she had with her were the first ones to be removed from the building, within a day of being here they were gone. Diamond Tiara, Rumble, Apple Bloom, and Pound Cake...all were taken away and she didn’t know where to. Spike and Flurry Heart were whisked away almost immediately, Cheerilee assumed to be wherever the princesses were. Sweetie Belle and her mother had left only a few days ago, leaving only Cheerilee and Scootaloo from the small group of non-unicorn survivors from Ponyville.
The others in the building had all been in Ponyville too. She recognized some of her fellow Ponyvillians amongst the shuffle, and a few times she had attempted to speak with them. None of them were particularly talkative, and some of them never even left their cots. They all reminded her of Sweetie Belle, haunted by what they had heard and what they had done.
It made their existence a miserable one that left them with only each other for company and conversation. Cheerilee missed the little sense of community she had in the castle with the others, even the fighting, because at least they spoke.
Most of all, Cheerilee missed Elytra. The changeling never appeared on the steps to the castle, no matter how long she waited. She had even gone out to the Everfree once to look, but the Timberwolves had returned and quickly rebuffed her efforts to search for her friend. It had been difficult to accept that Elytra had died, but there was some solace in knowing that she had completed her mission.
“You two, get up. You’re coming with me.” The deep gruff voice drew both of their gazes upwards to a gray pegasus stallion in tarnished golden armor. Unlike the ponies here, he didn’t look underfed or tired. Besides the slightly worn armor, he looked healthy and refreshed. “Come on.”
“W-where are we going?” Cheerilee instinctively shifted to block Scootaloo from the stallion as her voice wavered. There was always something frightening about seeing ponies get taken away by the guards and never returning.
“You’re going to be processed.” The guard grumbled as he pulled Cheerilee to her hooves. “Get the filly up too.” That wasn’t a request, it was a demand and she knew it. The scenes when somepony had decided to fight against the guards’ requests were never pretty. Granted, most of the guards were earth ponies and pegasi and the majority of ponies in the station were unicorns...and there was not exactly a lot of love for unicorns at the moment.
“Okay...c’mon Scootaloo.” Cheerilee didn’t want to end up like one of the ponies who fought back, there were already enough stitches and broken bones between the mare and the filly. Speaking of, Scootaloo had received a proper cast and medical treatment over the last few days, which soothed some of the teacher’s nerves. She picked up the little pegasus on her back and followed the guard.
Walking through the mass of ponies was just as depressing as sitting in the middle of it. Cheerilee would see somepony she knew from before and try to make eye contact, and they would almost immediately look away. They all radiated shame and fear when they looked at somepony not from their tribe, like the ideas from their time as monsters still bounced around their heads.
They were led through a door near the front of the building that, if the sign next to it was to be believed, had originally gone to ‘offices’. Through the door, the white marble remained but what had once been tile was replaced by gray carpeting and clusters of cubicles surrounded them.
The cubicles weren’t empty, there were ponies inside filling out paperwork and chatting. They all were unicorns and looked like ponies who had perhaps once worked in the castle at Canterlot. As they passed a few of the cubicles, she saw the royal seal on several documents that littered desks, which only confirmed her suspicions.
“Guardspony, wait.” The pegasus that had been escorting them stopped, causing Cheerilee to bump into him with a small ‘oof’. The guard’s head turned to the source of the voice. Cheerilee recognized the stallion that was approaching them, how could she not? White coat, blue mane with cobalt eyes and a shield for a cutie mark. His face had been plastered all over the papers a few years ago due to his wedding being crashed.
“Yes, Captain Shining Armor?” The guard saluted the Captain and stood up straight.
“These two...they’re from Ponyville.” Shining Armor squinted as he inspected the mare and the filly. “Yeah, I recognize them.” He concluded with a nod. “Were you two in Ponyville?”
“Y-yes?” Cheerilee felt like that fact was obvious. Everypony in the main room had been picked up from Ponyville. “We were in the castle, with the Elements...and your sister.” It was a gamble bringing up Princess Twilight, Cheerilee wasn’t sure how Shining Armor would take the mention of his little sister.
“Come with me.” The curiosity dropped from the stallion’s voice. “Guardspony, you’re relieved. I’ll be taking them from here.” With another salute, the guard that had been escorting them marched off, back to the holding pen.
“A-are we in trouble?” Scootaloo quietly asked from Cheerilee’s back.
“No.” Shining Armor responded with a sigh. “You shouldn’t have even been in there. The guards were supposed to bring me anypony from Ponyville that wasn’t a unicorn.” His eyes finally met Cheerilee’s, they were full of genuine sorrow. “I’m sorry, things...haven’t been easy or simple.”
“Where are we going now?” Cheerilee asked. She couldn’t say it was okay, she couldn’t say she forgave him. There wasn’t a lot of forgiveness to give out anymore.
“You need to be debriefed.” That was the only answer she was given as Shining Armor started off through the maze of cubicles yet again. Cheerilee stayed right behind him, not wanting to get lost in the midst of the mess of the makeshift office.
The walk through the office led to an elevator, one that seemed to blend into the very walls. If Shining Armor hadn’t punched a button on the wall, Cheerilee would’ve never guessed that there was even a door there. Once the wall parted and revealed the tiny box beyond, she was ushered into it.
The space was cramped enough with just the grown mare and the filly on her back, when Shining Armor entered it was downright claustrophobic. She couldn’t even shift her weight without her flank bumping up against the Captain’s, and the last thing she wanted was her flank grinding against his. So she stayed as still as she could, eyes forward and silent.
The doors opened to reveal a long rectangular room stretched out before them. Windows lined a wall, letting the late afternoon sun stream in and illuminate the marble construction of the room. It was mostly featureless, save for a desk at the far end occupied by a single mare that sat in front of a set of oak double doors.. Shining Armor exited first and walked across the room, his heavy hooves echoing out in the hollow hall. Cheerilee quickly followed, her own hooves light and clicking softly against the stone.
“Raven.” Shining addressed the mare at the desk before he even got there. Her coat was a light grey and her chocolate brown mane was done up in a bun. She leered at Shining Armor from behind a pair of black-rimmed glasses. Cheerilee couldn’t help but stare at the horn that poked through her mane and was glowing a light pink. “I need to talk to the Princess, I have survivors from Ponyville.”
“She’s busy, Shining Armor.” The mare replied coldly.
“You didn’t hear me.” Shining Armor placed a hoof on the desk, making a stack of papers shuffle and fall over. “Survivors, non-unicorn, from Ponyville. They were in the castle.” The stallion leaned in and whispered, the empty room carrying even those quiet words. “Code white. They were in general holding with the unicorns.”
“Sweet Celestia…” Raven muttered as her eyes drifted to Cheerilee and Scootaloo, then back to Shining Armor. “Go in, she’ll forgive you. This is important.” The mare reached for a button on the desk and pressed it, a light buzz coming from the double doors behind her.
The Captain turned Prince surged forward, his horn lighting up as he dragged Cheerilee towards the door. The thought of facing a Princess, especially Celestia, made her heart race. The last time she had seen any grown alicorn had left her very wary of seeing any of them again, even if they were changed back. There was still that knowledge of what they had been, of what they had done.
“No, Doctor Atmosphere, and We are sick of arguing.” The voice boomed from the room as the doors opened. “Any blood drive that is conducted will benefit the hospitals of Equestria, not you!” The voice nearly made Cheerilee stagger backwards from the sheer presence and force, and the door was barely cracked.
Beyond had once been the office of the station master, now dominated by dual desks swarmed with paperwork that sat before a large imposing window. It was made of the same marble as the rest of the building, with a large chocolate-colored rug dominating the floor. Shelves full of books lined the walls, and a large map of Equestria hung by the door.
Behind one of the desks was Princess Luna, but not the Luna that Cheerilee remembered from before this all happened. Where once she had been more of a midnight blue, almost purple, now she was completely black. Where once her wings had been full of feathers, now they were thick and leathery. As she spoke, even from across the room, Cheerilee could see the fangs in her mouth. If it weren’t for her stature, eyes, and general demeanor, she was the spitting image of Nightmare Moon.
Across the desk from the Princess of the Night was a pegasus stallion. He was at least two heads shorter than her, with a burgundy coat and a spiked black mane with streaks of white running through it. The pointed beard sprouting from his chin, the same mixture of black and white as his mane, was coated in sweat as he looked up at Princess Luna.
“Your Majesty, call me Hide.” The stallion stood up straight in the face of the towering alicorn before him, not even flinching or wavering in her presence. A wing came up from his side and straightened the small circular spectacles that sat on the bridge of his muzzle. “I am just imploring you to reconsider. Surely you can see how Equestria could use a rainbow or two at the moment? The Cloudsdale Weather Corporation is more than happy to do whatever it can to help Equestria flourish once more, and that includes bringing some beauty back.” His voice was smooth and practiced once he had collected himself, almost unnerving.
“We have already given you space in Las Pegasus to operate from while Cloudsdale is rebuilt. We have given you our top minds and provided services to your employees reserved for only Royal staff.” Luna reared up and slammed her hooves on the desk, causing everypony in the room to jump back. “We have been extremely generous, Doctor Atmosphere-” Luna spit the name in the stallion’s face. “-We only require you to get the weather back on track. If you wish to chase rainbows, then find another way to produce them. We cannot afford to divert any more resources to you.”
“Of course, Your Majesty. My apologies for overstepping my bounds.” The stallion bowed, lowering his head and wings to the floor. “I was only thinking about helping out a little more, I understand the strain you and the country are under.” This Doctor Atmosphere sounded like a practiced politician, dancing around the eggshell that was the alicorn in front of him. It seemed like a dance he had performed a million times before. “I will take my leave now, Your Majesty.” The stallion turned, the grace on his face dropping almost immediately into a dissatisfied grimace as he trotted by the group by the door. The golden eyes behind his glasses were narrowed in frustration as he left.
“Shining Armor, please.” Princess Luna sat back down and motioned the trio in. The alicorn closed her eyes for a few brief moments, taking several deep breaths as her wings flapped and twitched a little.
“Princess.” Shining Armor gave a bow before stepping up to the desk. “This is Cheerilee and Scootaloo. They are from Ponyville, they were in the castle.” The narrowed eyes from Luna and the frown forming on her face caused Shining Armor to elaborate further. “They got mixed up in the shuffle, they’ve been down with the unicorns from Ponyville in general holding. They were overlooked.” That seemed to placate the diarch, as she nodded at him. The stallion stepped to the side and allowed the mare and the filly to come face to face with Princess Luna.
“Please, sit.” The voice of the alicorn behind the desk softened considerably as she addressed the ponies. “Despite the fangs, We do not bite.” That earned a stifled giggle from Scootaloo, which brought a small smile to Luna’s face.
Cheerilee carefully sat Scootaloo on the cushion that sat in front of the desk, then sat herself. Every time she looked up at the princess, she had to swallow the fear rising in her throat. Having been at the Summer Sun Celebration when Nightmare Moon returned, and then seeing her destroying Ponyville...it didn’t make looking at Luna easy. It filled her heart with dread and told her to run.
“You are a cute one.” Princess Luna smiled down at Scootaloo. Despite her appearance, it was warm and quite motherly. “Would you like some candy, little one?” A crystal dish was picked up in a dark blue aura and held in front of the filly. Inside were a variety of wrapped candies, all giving off the sweet heavenly aroma of butterscotch. “They are Our favorite.”
Scootaloo wasted no time in grabbing three of the sweets and grinning from ear to ear. The filly unwrapped one and popped it in her mouth, her eyes going wide as the taste hit her tongue. She gave a muffled ‘thank you’ as she happily enjoyed the treat.
“How We have missed the sight of a foal’s smile.” Luna mused with a bemused grin. She then let out a long sigh as she turned to look at Cheerilee. “We need answers, ones that will change what happens once you leave Our office.” Luna stated flatly as her smile died. “We need only truthful answers, dear mare. Please do not lie to Us.” There wasn’t even a moment for Cheerilee to respond before Luna started to talk again. “How much do you know of this catastrophe? What were you told?”
“I-I-” Cheerilee couldn’t lie, not with Luna looking directly into her soul. As much as she wanted to tell the alicorn that she knew nothing, there was no chance that she would be believed. “-I know Twilight caused it...or started it. She brought it back with her...and she died with her friends to fix it.”
“Twilight Sparkle is not dead.” Luna let that revelation hang out in the open.
“W-what-”
“Does that mean Rainbow Dash-”
“-No.” Princess Luna cut off both of them with a raised hoof. “Twilight Sparkle was the only one of the Elements to survive. It came at a great cost, as she is currently...indisposed. Much like Our sister and Cadenza.” Shining Armor flinched at the mention of his wife. “They are not used to this kind of...trauma. It will take time, but they will recover.” Luna tapped her hooves on the desk as she looked to the empty spot next to her. “Equestria is not strong right now, Cheerilee. We cannot have dangerous...truths out in the open about what happened, what caused this.”
“You...you want me not to tell anypony?” Cheerilee’s blood ran cold as the reason they were ushered in here came to light. It was a cover up, and Cheerilee and Scootaloo were two of the only loose ends in Equestria.
“No, We need you not to tell anypony.” Princess Luna stood and faced the window, looking out at the ruined city beyond. “Equestria, as we knew it, does not exist anymore. It is estimated that fifty-five percent of the population perished during this event, mostly earth ponies and pegasi. There is now a great mistrust of horned creatures, and We are chief among them.” Her voice fell into a quiet pit as her gaze turned to the floor. “We need ponies to trust the Princesses, as it is the last bastion we have of returning to what once was. We are willing to do whatever it takes to buy your silence; relocate you where you wish, give you extra rations, or if you refuse...We will simply take your memories.”
Scootaloo and Cheerilee stared at the alicorn in silence. To be threatened so casually by an alicorn was a level of terrifying that neither of them had ever reached. It was more than seeing the primal fury of the turned unicorns and alicorns from before, because this time they knew that she meant it.
“W-we won’t tell anypony.” Scootaloo spoke before Cheerilee, always the brave little filly. “B-but I want to know if my mom and dad are okay, and I want to stay with Cheerilee until they get back!” The little pegasus fiddled with the candy in her hooves as she kept talking. “They were in Farasi...and I just want them back…”
“The zebras have been uncooperative…” Princess Luna responded with a light sigh. “I know they are holding a number of Equestrians, but I do not know who. I will work on figuring out if your parents are among them, young Scootaloo.” She then turned to the mare. “What of you?”
“I-I…” Cheerilee’s mind raced. What exactly did she want from this? What would she take to stay quiet? If there was a price that was too high, she didn’t want to figure it out. All she did know for certain was that she wanted to retain her memories. “I want to know what happened to Elytra-a changeling that was with us. She...she cleansed the Central Mana Pool...but I never saw her again.” Not once had the changeling left Cheerilee’s mind, her heart wouldn’t let the memories fade away. She had to know.
“Ah, the changeling.” Princess Luna finally turned back around to face the two ponies. “Cadenza brought the creature up with her, broken and barely alive. We did what we could to help it, but nothing sufficed.” Cheerilee’s heart sank to depths she had never known. Tears started to form at the corners of her eyes as that sentence hit her, and it hit hard. “We sent it back to the Hive in hopes that its own kind could help it, but that is all We know.”
There was little solace in hope, but it was something. Elytra’s own kind could help her, they would have to. To learn of the changeling’s fate dug daggers ever deeper into Cheerilee’s heart, just another piece from her life before now ripped away from her. It was but another stitch in her heart popped free, just one step closer to giving up.
“I-I think...I would like to live somewhere away from a lot of ponies for a while…” Cheerilee began to speak without thinking, her brain still seized by the news of Elytra’s fate. “Maybe...just get away from it all.”
“We know of a place that will suit you. It was not hit hard by the Event, and is quite friendly.” Luna said with a nod. “Hope Hollow. We will arrange transport for you and young Scootaloo as soon as we are able.” The alicorn’s horn lit up as she raised Cheerilee’s head so their eyes met. “You have Our word, if We have your silence.”
“You have my silence, Princess.”
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- BaeroRemedy · 84k words · 357 11 · 3.4k views
- Silent Whisper · 2.6k words · 366 14 · 3.9k views
- the7Saviors · 63k words · 869 18 · 9.8k views
- Flashgen · 35k words · 478 6 · 7.6k views
- Goldfinch142 · 1.7k words · 866 20 · 12k views
- applezombi · 801k words · 680 46 · 10k views
- BaeroRemedy · 13k words · 56 3 · 629 views
- the7Saviors · 20k words · 139 4 · 1.7k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.275 seconds
Total duration
990 users online
237,375 hits today, 2,314,256 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Fifteen people reading simultaneously. What a sight.
Good to know that things aren't unsalvageable.
EDIT: Up to 25. Dang.
10866720
You're telling me
I feel this was a fitting end to the end. I know you were worried about…not really tarnishing the original ending with an epilogue but lessening the impact. I think it carries the same tone of the rest of the story and gives a glance into what happens in the ‘post apocalyptic’ phase.
I loved this story thoroughly, it was the first story I ever tracked and read as it updated rather than wait until it was finished. Splendid job and I look forward to seeing what you do next.
This was good, it gave a bit more closure and tied up some loose ends that I feel were better addressed than left ambiguous, but without dragging things out too much. I'll miss seeing this story in my inbox every morning, but still hope to see a sequel some day.
I'm not surprised that Twilight and Cadence are suffering some serious mental and emotional trauma right now. I hope that Celestia, while also "indisposed", can be somewhat of an anchor to them.
I really hope Scootaloo's parents come out okay, but I guess that's for us to draw our own conclusions.
I was horrified reading this story from beginning to end.
Good show.
I love the epilogue.
Poor Elytra
I hope he recovers.
Hide Atmosphere
Is he a Fifc Rainbow Factory character?
Interesting
I have to wonder if Equestria will ever be what it was, destabilizing events like this are breeding grounds for geopolitical change. No doubt they have lost considerable intellectual capital from this disaster, nevermind the vast damage to infrastructure. It will be years before they get things more stabilized, never-mind getting food production and the economy back on track for steady growth. Who’s to say their neighbors won’t attempt to claim some of the freed up territories during this time? They have a lot of hurtles ahead of them, but maybe they will be stronger for it. Though unicorn relations with other ponies and nonponies has likely been sent back centuries or more. Also… I wonder if they are going to keep a closer eye on Twilight… considering she caused this, even inadvertently… she’s a threat to the country now… even if she doesn’t mean to be.
I'd give this another thumbs up if I could. Great stuff. It chilled, horrified, and tugged at the heartstrings. Kudos to you dear writer for a great finish to a wonderfully awful story.
Loved this story
10866774
I mean, yes she inadvertantly caused this, but I don't think this makes her a threat to the country. If the two she was with found that pplace, they could've just as easily hired a different unicorn to do it who would've then also fallen under Bullion's sway.
It's like, if, in Fallout, someone blundered into an old military base and set off a nuke without knowing what it was, yes they'd be to blame, and at fault (to a degree) for what happened, and there'd be a lot of anger aimed at them, but the threats already happened, it's not like they can, or willingly would, do that again. So if it's up to the Princesses I don't think they'd keep an eye on Twilight in the way you're inferring.
If it's not up to them... I imagine a lot more ponies would be more keen to take an eye for an eye than keep one on her.
I’ll admit, I expected more hostility from the pegasus guard toward the unicorn captain. Some professionalism, of course, but hints of anger or surliness or something. Especially since you said this only a couple chapters before:
It makes sense that out of all the royalty, Luna and Shining Armor are the ones most capable of soldiering through the experience due to necessity. One from a thousand years in exile and having gone through recovering from Nightmare Moon, the other a highly ranked and hardy guard captain. Speaking of which, Luna’s appearance is interesting. Something for me to speculate on.
Not a happy ending, not by a long shot, but a fitting one, with a very bleak overview of the aftermath and hope spots scattered in (like Elytra. She’s not dead, which is more than what I was expecting). I approve.
[Aplauso]
"Great...an epilogue for one of the best fics in the last years !"
* read the epilogue as lightspeed *
...
"What abou a second epilogue ?"
10866794
You think other nations will see it that way? They might not be willing to take the chance, they also are unlikely to be understanding of Twilights mistake. Considering what she caused and all the damage and death to their countries… they might at least make an example of her. Or think Equestria is making some sort of Magical WMDs and that was just a failed test, cue on the “peace keeping”. Honestly Twilight is a political booby trap, if it gets out it’s trouble for Equestria, so right now they need to keep her low profile, and out of the way. She never meant for this, but intent doesn’t matter results do. The results of her action caused untold devastation.
Got to say, 55% dead is... less than I'd thought. Somehow this chapter feels like it could also serve as a prologue to the sequel, but at least we have our confirmation that Elytra isn't dead, which is more than what we could hope for. Thank you for the great story and especially the insane updates. Eager to see what you have in store for our protagonists and for this bleak world.
Ah. Now that's a satisfying conclusion. Answers a few questions. And I like the touch of Luna getting over what happened to her faster than the others due to experience with this kind of thing.
Hoooo... wasn't quite expecting that... then again, I wasn't sure WHAT to expect. I didn't figure on sunshine and rainbows, but... it's grim, and it also makes sense.
Also, something about Luna being the one to 'recover' of the four Princesses says a LOT about the situation. If I had to guess, it'd be Celestia, then Cadance and then finally Twilight... but all four of them are going to need decades of therapy at a minimum.
And... are there plans for a sequel, or is this the end of it all?
haha rainbows go brrrrrr
Interesting... I like how Luna just assumed full command while everyone else comes to terms with essentially being a monster and for Luna it's just another day on the job.
It makes sense that Luna is currently in charge. She has the most experience being possessed. Although I am a little surprised the pegasi don't hold resentment for the princesses. They did see Celestia and Luna tear Cloudsdale apart.
Well... It's a conclusion.
I mentioned before that I'm an optimist. I tend to hope for happy endings and I am perfectly willing to accept a deus ex machina to turn something hopeless into something hopeful. I like seeing stories end with a smile--even if a strained one. So I am, and always will be, on an emotional level, unsatisfied with this--but that is only an opinion, and I will do my utmost to divorce my feelings about this ending from my overall opinion of it. I would not have written it this way--but I did not write it, and that's the end of that story. This is your work, not mine.
This brings closure, of a sort, though it merely pushes back some of the ambiguities from the last chapter (these being, for instance, the ultimate fate of the princesses, whether Elytra survives or not, and the ultimate fate of many of the survivors). In a way, the persistence of these ambiguities makes them more transparent; to me, it suggests more an unwillingness to commit than it does a desire to leave things open-ended. This has to do with, rather like Cheerilee's stray thought in the last chapter, bringing attention to the matter in a way that the reader cannot help but pick up on, tantalizing them with the idea of a conclusion, and then finishing off with a helpless shrug.
On the subject of Cheerilee's stray thought, this epilogue misses an opportunity that I thought for sure you would take, this being the chance to personally address the "unicorn problem." But there is only one unicorn of note in this chapter, and, essentially, no thought is given to the protrusion on his head; the guard treats the Captain with the respect due his station with barely a hint of suspicion or shock. On the one hand, I like this because it channels the sort of childlike naivete that ponies seem to have in the show; it suggests that, yes, despite these horrific events, the ponies will bounce back as quickly as can be--but on the other, such a sudden and sharp return to something resembling the show's Equestria is jarring and tonally inconsistent with the work as a whole and the dry, dusty, post-catastrophe premise this chapter establishes.
Cheerilee never personally interacts with a generic unicorn. There is no exposure to the "common pony" except obliquely. Her interactions with Shining Armor and Raven Inkwell are strictly professional, not personal; there is no time to consider the fact that they have horns. And so the question of how society will deal with the average unicorn on the street after all is said and done is artfully sidestepped. What unicorns from Ponyville survived, if any? Cheerilee knew plenty of them. How will her relationship with them change? How does she feel about them? We can only speculate--because no thought is given to it here.
To say nothing of Shining Armor, who seems ultimately none the worse for wear despite having been, until very recently, a monstrous carnivorous pony-shaped horror. How does he feel? We don't know. Nothing is betrayed. Raven is just a speedbump on the way to Princess Luna. And Princess Luna offers almost nothing--short of a small humanizing (metaphorically speaking) moment at the start of the conversation, she is totally business. There is something to explore here--Luna is definitely one who, in a public setting, would probably be all business, except that the show establishes that what Luna wants, as betrayed by her more personal interactions and quiet moments, is to be personal, to be gentle and quiet and enjoy the small pleasures where she can find them. None of that secret softness is here, and while one might make an argument that there's no room for it while Luna is busy trying to help Equestria recover from this event, the fact that not even a hint of it is betrayed is maddening from a character perspective.
I will admit to some small enjoyment of the fact that the epilogue mirrors the opening parts of the story. There is a symmetry there that I like.
I am trying to keep my personal biases out of this, but it really does feel like, by and large, this chapter simply drags out the last. It establishes, in the vaguest ways, that there is hope for Equestria to rebuild itself, whatever form it might take moving forward. And while I would never ask for a magical rainbow wave to suddenly wash over Equestria and restore everything to the way it was--there is a limit, after all, to what makes for a satisfying deus ex machina--this story simply feels like it wants to lean too much into gritty post-apocalypse "realism" to be something I can honestly enjoy; too many things are ultimately left unanswered, too many elements left unaddressed. It is very real, but as a conclusion to a story, it lacks. There is no impact. There is no lasting message. All these deaths, all this violence, the disruption of the environment and the destabilization of society--there is no meaning to it.
I'll leave the thumbs up as it is, but... I cannot honestly offer this a favorite, as much as I quite enjoyed the work in general. There is a lot of good character writing, very tense and swift action scenes, a fascinating and chilling premise. But nothing comes of it in the end; even as a Pyrrhic victory it feels hollow and dim.
As much as I might try to separate my feelings from the analysis of the work, I cannot help but feel like it wallows in the senselessness of its own violence and death, then does nothing to use such senselessness to communicate a message to the reader. And while some might claim that the "meaninglessness of death" is the central message, it's not one I can get behind in this work. There is, ultimately, no payoff for all the character work that went into this story--and regardless of what you might claim, this is a character-focused and character-centric work.
It's the ending. It feels conclusive... but only kind of, in a half-committed way. Much like the one before it, this mostly comes to a somewhat sudden and jarring stop. It closes the book on the setting. But the characters in it are left wanting, and so am I.
EDIT: Typo.
I cri. So much pain.
I feel sorry for Equestria, but at least this gave us some closure.
Not a complete closure, though. So many books left open...
Plot twist hotshot, this fic actually leads in to G5
10866925
It’s almost like I didn’t want to write an epilogue or something.
10866925
Also I’m lucky this story is as cohesive as it is. It was written at an absolute breakneck pace with very little thought put into the intricacies of it all. Most of the details were filled in as I went, even the super important stuff like how this spread or how magic works.
I wasn’t looking to write a masterpiece or deliver some grand thesis on life or the senselessness of death. I didn’t want to impart some moral or lesson on anyone, I just wanted to write a story about the end of the world.
And I did.
10866945
I apologize if that felt like an attack, because it wasn't meant to be. But to sum up my feelings in a word, both the last chapter and this epilogue give off a feeling of relentless nihilism--and I'm not sure that's what you intended or, if it is, I have grossly misinterpreted the vast majority of this story. Whether in this epilogue or the previous last chapter, the end of the work renders a lot of the rest of the work moot. Relationships amount to nothing. Many ponies die in vain. And I find that dissatisfying--both on a personal level and as someone reading a story. Chekhov's gun never fires--in fact, the smoking gun is snuffed out.
I appreciate the work. You got me to stick around for something that, in 99% of other cases, I would not give a second glance at. Nor do I mean to suggest by saying that that this story is some kind of service to me--hardly. If you had no desire to write an epilogue, well, I am glad that you did--but if you had no desire to actually expand upon the last chapter, then you might have been better served not, and there's no saying which would have been the better path.
But I don't see the point. What is the takeaway? You acknowledged that the story didn't feel like it had properly ended, and then offered almost nothing to end the story;
when I comment on this, the response is, if you'll forgive me, a little passive-aggressive.EDIT: I did not see the second comment until after I'd submitted this; I apologize, and thank you for the additional thoughts.
I think it comes down to me seeking something from this story that you had no intention of imparting. I'm sorry if what I wrote came across as lecturing or condescending. Thank you for And Hell Followed--because despite my complaining, on the whole, I really did enjoy it.
10866957
Does it need a point? Can a story just be a story?
I think you’re putting way too much thought into a story about talking horses in an apocalypse written by a person who nearly failed almost every English class they ever took.
There’s no meaning. There is no point. I wrote it because I wanted to, and there was so much death because I wanted to write it. It’s not any deeper than that. Things happen because I went “oh man, that would be pretty cool or fun to write” because this story is for me. You guys can read it and enjoy it, but at the end of the day I wrote this for me and things happened in the story on a whim.
I think this epilogue helps tie things up a little more neatly and definitely helps. The glimpse into a post AHF world, the ambiguous but slightly hopeful fate of the other princesses, and the general fate of a few others has helped give some sense of closure. It's a little less up in the air, less like there's some point of tension that wasn't relieved.
There's still ways this can be expanded or resolved, but at this point those would be their own stories. Sequels, sidequels, little expansions here and there that aren't necessarily needed. This feels done.
Also... I 100% wanna write something set in this 'verse. We'll see how that pans out.
10867002
All of this.
Harsh but understandable, honestly I was expecting some sort of memory spell action when they walked in, simplest solution to such a horrific incident and what’s one more minor atrocity if half your population is dead, glad they had other options though. Luna being the most unscathed makes sense and it was nice to see at least one princess in working order. It definitely didn’t go out with a bang like the last chapter but honestly a story like this doesn’t need a bang to close on, sometimes a still somewhat hollow feeling that perhaps everything will now be somewhat okay just fits the tone better, sometimes everything’s all clear on the western front.
Half of your population dead, three princesses out of commission for a good while, barely any food. You need some time to recover Equestria.
And of course Luna was the first to recover, and I bet they took Flurry to Cadance.
Damn, so many unanswered questions! Are the changes to Luna permanent? Where is Cheerilee going and us Hope Hollow really safe? How bad off are the other three Princesses? How bad is the rest of the world? Will the world recover? Beyond that, great story.
10866957
10866960
I want to throw in my own two bits on this. There are stories that teach morals and stories that have points, but I personally feel that these are some of the shallower denominations of fiction. The purpose of fiction is (in my opinion) in its definition—to allow the reader to confront fictional scenarios on an intimate level; what news, thought experiments, or spirited debate could never truly accomplish. That's why tragedy and horror exist, why Cupcakes and Cheerilee's Garden are accepted parts of MLP fanfiction and not totally shunned for their horrific content. We need a safe way to confront the limits of what is possible, so that we do not instinctively blind ourselves to reality if it comes. Desensitization and cold reflection are (again, in my opinion) noble goals.
Catharsis is important, of course. We can't put down the story until we know the actual ending, and that goes for every plot thread and character. After all, those are just smaller, simultaneous stories. I was personally satisfied by this epilogue. Common sense is capable of telling us what follows this and anything further is out of scope.
I see a sequel being titled Hollow Hope. Do what you will with that title.
This is a brilliant story,good work.
10866874
Because this universe isn’t miserable enough already
You have no idea how relieved I am that Elytra might be okay
I don’t think my heart could take it if she died
A well done epilogue, adding some closure, but raising further questions. Glad to see the response didn't turn violent, at least, and Luna and Shining have as clear a head as possible. Also, Elytra's maybe still alive!
Some interesting worldbuilding, like the gag order and rumblings of international troubles.
Very excited for a sequel.
I am curious about what that black goo was and how one infected Alicorn was able to infect the entire central mana pool
Well... Equestria shall keep going in at least some capacity, which is nice. Certainly all is not lost, but scars shall remain forever. And could make for as many interesting scenariis ! Plus the possible return of Elytra, a nice surprise ! Please do it someday
It's almost a good thing the mana pit was in Ponyville, it probably saved quite a few hides once every unicorn dashed there
Can't wait to see if you'll get back to this universe, and what will come out of it. But do save yourself for it, no need to force yourself to write something ^^
I would also like to know why didn't Twilight immediately change when she got infected? Did she not use any magic until returning to home?
10867363
Yeah, sure. So if you remember in 'Genesis', Bullion said this to Twilight:
He had never encountered an alicorn before. It took the infection a longer time to adjust to new biology and change her.
Seems like a certain factory survived the havoc after all.
OH MY FUCKING GOD, WAIT, IT ACTUALLY IS HIM.
As if I couldn't love this fic more than I already do!
That aside, this was a lovely little bow to tie this story off with. Gives a little more closure and helps us get a sense of how things are changing and being rebuilt. I saw a ton of potential future story threads or spin-offs in this chapter, which I am eager to see, and am already formulating theories of how things might go for Equestria in the future. Cheerilee and Scootaloo sworn to secrecy and sent off to live away from it all, Luna ruling in her sister's place, the guardsponies taking on a much more militaristic practice, tensions between the other nations, the Elements Of Harmony essentially out of action, and the hanging question that no-one wants to voice:
What if it comes back?
Take your well-deserved break, Baero. You have certainly earned it, and you have also earned all the praise and loved you have received over the course of publishing this story. I eagerly await whatever you have planned next in your writings.
10867372
Yeah, I was reading through Pegasus Device and was like "man, I'd like to include something from the RF universe here" and got permission. It's a fun little nod to a classic series.
But I'm glad you liked the story. Thank you for continually commenting and producing some great theories. It's been a treat.
Huh, was not expecting an epilogue. Very well done.
I know you said you were gonna take a break and write some other things before you consider doing a sequel. Looking forward to whatever you write.
Though I hope Apple Bloom, Rumble, DT, and Pound Cake (along with other reverted unicorn foals like Sweetie Belle, Pumpkin Cake and Dinky) are all alright.
I seriously can't wait to see all the fanfics this'll spawn!
10866748
I'd like to believe that if her parents aren't okay, her aunts are. Because her aunts are way more responsible, loving, considerate and in her life than her parents could be.
10867478
Sadly if her parents lived in Ponyville at the time of the story it isn't that likely they survived. :( Which is sad.
10867528
They weren't in Ponyville, they were in Farasi.
Just a thought: I feel like, of all ponies, Trixie will likely be one of the first to recover, seeing as she's done this whole 'mind-corrupting magic' song and dance before