Have you ever wondered what happened to the alicorns?
Where did Cadence and the princesses come from? What is a draconequus? Why is Spike the only "tame" dragon? The answers are revealed in the events that lead to the destruction and rebirth of Equestria, witnessed by a group of ponies who will soon become more than a group of friends- they will become the forgers of the Elements of Harmony.
Enter the darkest days of Equestria's history as Wide Eyes seeks her destiny, and brings together a group of lifelong friends in the process.
From the court of King Constallis and Queen Golden Horn, to the shadowy lairs of dragons and the dark myths of a new draconequus, to political treachery and a horrifying coup, to the farthest reaches of a forgotten kingdom and the discovery of a new salvation, to the rise of Celestia and Luna, to the thrill of true love, this historical tale- inspired by the events in Discordantly by CosmicUnicorn- follows one alicorn's tragic rise and fall as she lives through the events that lead to the Equestria we all know and love.
Art by me, as always. Cover art colored by CosmicUnicorn
Wow this is good I can't wait for the rest
please update this as often as you can.
I'd like to prove that Discord isn't even an alicorn, and their not called alicorns, for that is the tissue that horns are made of. Either the tissue, or the horn itself, but whatever! The proper term is pegacorn, unisus, or unipeg! It depends on where your from, and lastly, everpony knows that Discord is a draconequus.
1226168
Will do! And thank you so much, I've never written a fanfic before
1226185
Well yes, he IS a draconequus. I never said he was an alicorn...
1226198 Haven't read the story, sorry for the misinterpretation.
1226206
That's ok. Why don't you read it and leave some feedback.
Hell, this doesn't even need a review! This is great! I must say, you certainly have an intriguing writing style. And an excellent vocabulary to boot!
Well, I promised some advice, so I guess I'll find some to give. But seriously, you should be proud of this. Now, with this style of writing, you're certainly suited to the adventure/epic tale side of Fanfiction. However, I suggest you begin by writing some one-shot stories to build a small fan base. Once people realise that this isn't an everyday Alicorn self-insert, you'll gain more approval.
Another thing I noticed is the cover art. Using an image from the Pony Creator (it looks like that style, apologies if it is not) often leads to people downvoting without reading beforehand. This is due to the excessive amount of alicorn self-inserts that can be found on the site, many using images from the Pony Creator. If I were you I'd find an image of a sweeping landscape, a vivid coastline or majestic mountains, something to evoke feelings in someone scrolling through the front page.
Thirdly, maybe come up with some interesting names for the chapters! This isn't necessary, but it's an excellent touch for a descriptive, elegant story. I always find it fun to look at the chapter names and try to guess the contents.
Well, I know this probably wasn't overly helpful like you might've imagined, but keep up the excellent work! It's great to see a story of this calibre, especially seeing as it is your first! And should you need any help or advice (unlikely
) don't hesitate to mail me. I love mail!
~Sierra, TWE Admin.
WHOOSH!
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This is actually incredibly helpful! Thinking about it now, you're definitely right about the cover. I'll try and upload a better, more suitable pic. Chapter names are definitely a good idea, and I'll do that too. Thank you so much for the review, I'll keep on writing as much as I can!
1226426 Excellent! I'm glad my advice is of use
Also, best of luck with the story and most importantly, forget the downvotes. I've read a ton of bad stories and I even made a group to collect them! This certainly isn't one of them. The downvotes are likely from those who have thought 'Alicorn? Sounds liek a self-insert, insta-downvote'. You're creating something beautiful here, and I bloody hope you keep it up!
And now, job complete, I must take my leave. Good day, sir or madam, and may you continue to brighten fimfiction.net with this gem of a story.
weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/gorilla-walking-away-gif.gif
~Sierra, TWE Admin.
WHOOSH!
I came here because you kept insisting more people need to read this story. So I decided to give it a go.
And you're right; they really do need to read this. This is (pardon my french) fucking amazing. Like, seriously. This is fantastic work right here.
I'm looking forward to any future chapters!
1495149
Oh my gosh! This is the kind of stuff that makes me love writing so much! You rock for listening to me!!! Five mustaches for you, Man_Demon! You go, Man _Demon!
1495923 No no, YOU rock for writing this! Please, keep up the great work!
1495960
I'd like to see someone try and stop me!
I finally got around to this. Ah. I can't judge yet, I need to read more.
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Go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zL3Jngq_-tw&feature=channel&list=UL to hear me read the first two chapters!
Your place names could use some work. Try coming up with puns! That's what the actual creators do. Love the characters, though.
1226206 Why on earth did you comment on a story you hadn't read, to correct a mistake that was never made?
Aaaaanyways, my thoughts at this point are that your feels aren't quite resonating with me. This is likely because you're describing how much life sucks for Bright, but we don't actually get to witness any of that firsthand. She may be exaggerating (as victims sometimes do), for all the reader knows. It borders on angsty when you do it like that.
Aside from that, fun stuff. I like the porpoises. I guess I should have mentioned that in the last chapter. Whatever.
The disclaimer at the beginning of the chapter is a little tedious. We know you don't own the characters, you aren't trying to make money off this. You're protected under Fair Use limitations of copyright law, anyways. And if anyone tries to copy your characters, well, firstly they know that you aren't going to take legal action because it's simply not worth it, and secondly all you need to do is contact a mod about it. So yeah.
Solid banter, jolly good. Characters continue to impress and amuse.
Forget what I said earlier about angst. It's all good. It makes this part so much better.
Getting a date for her was almost too easy, but ah what the hell. I'm really liking this. Like, a lot.
"Stallions are all alike."? Ex-CUSE me?!
What you have here is a very classical feel-good romance. In spite of some contrived plot points and cliches, it's still a great story. It's not ambitious, it doesn't intend to be a piece of literary genius. It's just nice characters, well-wrought prose, thoughtful dialogue, and all the things that make a story enjoyable to read. Well done. I might have more to say once it's done, but for now all I've got for you is this is awesome. Keep at it.
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Huzzah! Thank you for commenting on every chapter as you went, it was nice to see the thought process. Although you referred to her as "Bright" at one point. Methinks someone's been listening to Bright Eyes?
Also, Branbury IS a semi-pun. More of an in-joke, though. But you'll get to see a LOT more punnin' before I'm done!
1554298 Oh yeah, oh yeah. Whooooops. Wide Eyes. Hehe. It was pretty late.
1555199
No worries. Maybe she has an ancestor named Bright Eyes who was a musician?
1555650 Oh definitely.
1555746
It's canon!
1555810 "The preceding paragraph is all just stuff I made up. But it's canonical now." - Sarah Monette
1556037
My thoughts precisely.
Hey, if you haven't already, I recommend checking out the audio readings on Youtube! I've started recording FotA, then I'll move on to Let Me Count The Ways. Also, if you liked FotA, don't forget to give it a thumbs-up. It really helps.
1556096 Favourite and thumbs up have already been delivered! I've never really been a fan of story readings, but... I guess I've nothing better to do
1556104
The volume level is pretty quiet (which will change in the upcoming vids) so just crank it up.
Hahaha well thanks sooooooo much
1556114 Hey, I think you do a good job of it! Like I said, I'm not really one for audiobooks, but it's pretty cool. If I liked readings, I'm sure I'd love it.
1556130
Thanks! And to each their own, yanno? Takes all kinds to make the world go round and all that funky jazz...
1556327
Funky jazz.
1557807
You, sir, are my new favorite person. Funnnnnky jaaaaaaazz.
1557818 The Meters are brilliant, that's all I'm saying.
I really wish you would write more of this. While it's not perfect, it's got some pretty good world building potential, but it feels like it's dead before its time right now. One can only hope...
2655573 Good timing, then, seeing as I'm working on getting back into updating my fics!