This story is a sequel to Something About Sunset
After Twilight confesses her feelings and asks Sunset out, Sunset is left with a lot to think about. Thoughts about relationships. Thoughts about the future. Thoughts about her place in the world.
Sunset Shimmer, however, is tired of thinking.
Written as a gift to Krickis and sequel to her SciSet story "Something About Sunset." You do not have to read her story to understand mine, but it is highly highly recommended. It is.. sooo good.
Proofreading by Krickis
Chapters (1)
darn it im gonna have to read this while i eat dinner.... ill be back ... with thoughts... but imma give you a preread favourite cause i *know*
Gosh this hit just as hard the second time around... Just imagining Twilight the next day, devastated at what happened, realizing that their last conversation was the last conversation. That's a rough feeling, and then she has to tell all her friends about what happened and how she knew Sunset wanted to return... Just ow you know?
10815711
I am looking forward to your eventual essay comment so much. You. Don’t. Even. Know.
God I love the finality of that last line.
And so it begins. Get ready. The way I usually do these is I pick quotes as I’m reading that stand out, and then maybe I’ll add a comment or two. At the end, I come back and talk about them, usually while furiously sobbing.
*nods* yup I'm already in love.
Coming back to this paragraph, I do want to say that I still love it. I love how you’ve shown us exactly how Sunset’s feeling simply by comparing it to something that happened. I loved what you did, bringing us to the place that Sunset’s at in her head; the motorcycle speeding down the road. I also especially love the contrast between what she’s feeling (and what we’re reading) versus what’s actually happening. It’s a true stroke of genius on your part. A simple, effective way to get us right into Sunset’s roaring mind. I say simple, yet what I mean is just... amazing. I don’ t think I’ve really read anything that so effectively put me in a character’s headspace without any problems like you did here (at least, not in such a creative way).
Hoh my god.
Yeah this? This. It was a game but now it’s not. It’s not because Sunset has to leave now. It’s not a game because they both know exactly what it means. A game doesn’t have real stakes. This does. It is not a game, it’s something more. I like the little note about them pretending to not understand what it meant. But we know they do, and they did, and they always did. But now that it’s not a game anymore? Now that it means something, it’s not as fun. Yet... they did it anyway. Something about that kind of... hurts? Like a last-ditch attempt to have “fun” before the bad. The bad in this case is the complete separation between Sunset and Twilight. And boy howdy did this one little trio of sentences really do it for me. Once again, succinct but entirely effective. Especially that last one. It’s just so perfect I can barely even type what my head is saying.
Yo I’m fully crying. This line, apart from being completely heartbreaking brought me back to a moment where a friend said goodbye instead of see you tomorrow.
And coming back to it, it’s almost as bad as what I thought about initially. Suffice it to say, this line reminded me of an event that happened in my life that inspired me to write Obelus many years later. I can just hear how Twilight said this because I’ve had dreams where I’ve said it too. You took an already somber feeling story and completely threw us further into it with this. I want to say that Sunset feels kind of... emotionless during this (but at the same time, bursting with it, if that makes sense) and this little line with Twilight (and the one Sunset says following it) really just reminds you how much Twilight didn’t want this. And maybe Sunset really doesn’t want to leave Twi behind, but:
She doesn’t belong here. She knows that. She might have been here, even had an okay life here, but she feels like she never really lived here. Deep down inside, she is a unicorn, after all. I imagine it’s hard to expect to be able to leave that behind. And while she’s choosing to leave behind something else, she justifies this by saying that she had never really had a life here anyway. And I think this is such a good, powerful take on Sunset as a character. We know she’s got a decent life in the human world (well, after her redemption at least), and she seems happy with her friends. I don’t doubt she’s happy with her friends, I can wholeheartedly believe that. But being happy with the people around you isn’t enough if you aren’t happy with yourself. And like Princess Twilight mentioned (I believe), Sunset would be throwing a lot away. She would be leaving a lot behind. But Sunset isn’t home. She’s in a shell of a home; an apartment pretending to fill that spot for her when really, home is Equestria. She needs her friends, but she needs her home because without a home, are you ever really complete? The saying is that home is where the heart is, but the opposite is true as well. What happens when your heart is at home, but you just aren’t there.
Maybe Sunset needs to let her heart decide. But I believe her heart is in Equestria, because that’s where her home is. She has a place to live here, she has four walls and a roof. But it’s empty, it’s lonely, and it isn’t a home. The most important thing is home. You need to feel full, you need to feel complete. You need to feel safe, and you need to feel at home. Unfortunately, that just isn’t where Sunset currently is. It’s a tough decision, but ultimately, if Sunset feels that home is Equestria, she should absolutely go there.
I believe I picked this because it kind of strikes home for me. If things go as well as they can, I’m going to be moving out come September. All my friends are staying here, but I’m leaving. I think I’m afraid of being left behind, so I... I’m doing the leaving. While it’s obviously not on the same scale as what Sunset is doing (cause at least I have the internet), it’s still something I can think and go “huh. Yeah.” It’s just... crazy to think about what Sunset is doing though. She’ll likely never be able to ever speak to them again, and so what she just had with Twi? That was her last interaction with her. Whatever she last did with any of them is the last thing both sides will ever have to remember. I’d just like to bring back the first line real quick. “I’ll always remember you.” A nice message, yes, and definitely one that one would intend to keep. But, let’s be honest. Eventually, you’ll start to forget because you can’t see them or talk to them. The memories will start to fade. You’ll be left with feelings if you're lucky.
And in my opinion, an extra obstacle is that Sunset will likely meet and possibly become friends with her friends’ counterparts in Equestria. While you may intend to remember, having others around that are literally the “same”, it’ll be hard. Perhaps, you’ll start to not remember which version of Rarity made that scarf you lost for you, or you won’t be able to recall precisely which Pinkie brought you a cake that time you were sick. It’ll be slow, but memories will start getting fuzzy and replaced by others. And I think at that point, it won’t matter much to either side. Maybe the occasional pang of hurt when you remember the friends you left behind (or on the other side, the friend that left you behind) and that will sting. It’ll hurt so much, but so much time will have passed that likely the wound will have been healed. And just like was the reoccurring message in the first one, all you will remember is that there was something.
Now this one made me do a full ouchie. A lot of this seemed like Sunset was going to die, or that she was dead and someone else was trying to memorialize her existence. It’s often true that when people intend to... disappear, they clean. Did you know that? I think for me, that made this all the more sad and unsettling. We know she’s serious about it at this point. Completely and entirely. And what’s worse is that she’s smiling. What about her friends who will wake up the next day and not hear from her. They won’t see her, and Twilight will be the only one who knows why. And Twilight will be the one to tell them. And Sunset probably knows this, but she at least wanted them to have one good memory remain intact. After all, it was the coolest place for a sleepover. If Sunset cleans it up, they’ll never have to know about the lonely nights. Right?
And then, the story ends. And now Sunset is gone, and she’s left them behind. But she’s paving a way for herself. As I spoke about extensively before, she's going home. Of course her friends will never be able to understand. They belong. She doesn’t. It’s as simple as that. Although she’s had a good run, she needs to be herself. And herself isn’t a bipedal creature. I do have to wonder, what will the rest of her friends think? We know (and saw) that Twilight was very shaken up, and will probably be worse once she realizes that Sunset went through with it. I wonder if... Sunset will have Twilight permanently deactivate the portal until it completely desyncs. That would be so much more bittersweet for her. But again, what would her friends think? I’m sure Sunset’s already put too much thought into that. As cynical as it may sound, Sunset can always make more friends, but she can’t make another home.
To wrap up this essay that I have used all of my one brain cell for, I would like to say that:
OUCH. HOLY SHIT PREP. What the HELL? I was... I wasn’t ready. SAS broke me. This took those pieces, put them back together and then broke them again! You and Kricks are really going to be the death of me! God, both of you write so... well, you write so good! The words hurt! They hurt so much but they feel so good! And by good I mean bad, but a good bad, you know? I want to be mad at you, I really do. But I can’t. I can only sit here in awe and try to process. This really is a fantastic continuation and conclusion in my opinion; just as much as the actual ending to SAS. Seeing it through Sunset’s eyes; her rationale makes it a lot more painful because it... well, at least to me, it makes sense what she’s doing and why. Through Twi, we only get the pain of SUnset leaving, especially after all that build up that she likes her. And Sunset... well, she likes her too, but it... isn’t enough. And it’s not just that, but she knows she isn’t enough for Twilight. She’s torn between two worlds, and now that her (quite literal) anchors to one are disappearing, she must choose. And she chooses to be on the side she knows she’s most comfortable on. At least, that’s the way I’m taking it.
I had such a hard time putting down what I intended to put down. In reality I am screaming and crying on the inside and just flailing about on the outside. Stellar job Prep, you and Kricks must be so proud with what you came up with.
*inhales*
Fuck.
10815869
Cool, just drop a comment that's half the length of the story. No pressure on me to respond to that at all, ha... ha.... ha....
lol
But in all seriousness, I'm glad you liked it. I loved your commentary all the way through and you picked up on some interesting things. I especially liked your notes on the inspiration behind Obelus.
Now, I could sit here and respond piece by piece but I would end up writing another story in the comments, so I think I'll pick the part you picked up on that I was the most glad you did.
I did in fact know about the cleaning being a common activity preceding activity to someone...leaving, and it was intentional. You mentioned that a lot of this felt "like Sunset was going to die." As I said in my author's note, this whole fic is an extended metaphor.
I was curious if anyone was going to pick up on it or call it out. If I was too obvious or too subtle. I am delighted that you made the connection.
And yeah, you put it best. If she cleaned up, all they ever would see is the epic sleepovers, and not the lonely nights that surrounded them.
Thank you so much for sharing this experience with me
10815836
Would you believe I almost didn't have it on there? The first version didn't, but then I realized "oh, hey, maybe I should have it end with some reference to the title." I'm so glad I didn't just move on the first draft cause I also really ended up loving that line.
10815730
You know... Twilight's perspective on this didn't occur to me until just now that you said it. You would think of that though.
Kind of makes sense why this story got written the way it did, huh?
Part 3? Twilight having to pick up the pieces? Or have we tortured everyone enough?
....Ouch. I know i should've expected these feels after Arc 5 of Dysphoria but srsly ouch
That goes both on the extended metaphor and the literal... To some extent, it is the literal reading that hurts more, realizing Sunset will likely be just as listless in Equestria as she was in Everton, once the novelty wears off, only now she is burdened with the ghosts she's left behind.. I've learned the hard way moving away from your problems won't help you if you're your own enemy, because even if you move to another parallel universe and cut all ties, you still can't escape yourself. Princess Twilight's last message is perhaps the most ominous foreshadowing of Sunset's Equestrian life.
I wanted the Sciset to be true so hard, in both Krickis's and in this fic. Even now I find myself grasping at the smallest plot holes, in an effort to stick my own headcanon in and expand them to a bridge to a happy ending. I've convinced myself, circumstantial theory be damned, that a magic ex machina could restore the portal between the two worlds; Krickis's description of the problem even hints at the way out. After reading her fic, I naively spent a few minutes toying with the mechanics of a hypothetical fix-fic. But after reading yours, I hit the much harsher truth, that even if the portal were opened again, even if Sunset managed to move back to Everton, she would be no better off, because that was never what this was about.
As for the extended metaphor, it raises the terrible hypothetical of what happens if you resurrect a suicide victim'. Realistically for many it is only a return to listlessness and the circumstances that led to the act to begin with. Just as a suicide hot line is unlikely to cure depression, a future restoration of the portal with Equestria is unlikely to silence Sunset's inner demons.
Thank you, to both Krickis and thedarkprep, for making me feel. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to give Twilight Sparkle a hug.
I'll keep my eyes focused on the sun,
No matter how much it hurts.
The light will spill until it's done,
I'll close them on my own terms.
I still see my own reflection,
Every single second hurts.
This door will turn it into retention,
I'll close it on own my terms.
10818692
You have no idea how special this comment is to me.
First things first, thank you for taking this journey with Krickis and I. And yeah, I’m not sure who exactly let us collaborate but, between Dysphoria: Arc 5 and Playing House.. That was probably an oversight on someone’s part.
I totally get wanting for this pairing to work out. The way Krickis wrote their conversations and dynamic really does make them a couple worth rooting for. Even though we knew how the story would end, we still really hoped for more for the couple. We too stan this ship.
And I agree with you, the literal reading is way worse than the metaphor. Sunset really has no way to find peace. If I hadn’t been so married to the metaphor from the get go, I really was tempted to write a scene past the portal where Sunset came to that realization, just for that extra gut punch. I still think I made the right choice of ending the story where I did but, yeah.. As you said. You can’t escape yourself.
As for what would happen if a suicide victim was ressurected? That’s actually not a bad story idea, and definitely not one I had thought of. I’m not sure how I would do it, because I would want to handle it through metaphor and with sufficient tact, rather than address it directly, but still.. There’s a lot of potential there. A lot of tragedy.
If I ever do write it, I’m totally
blamingcrediting you for the idea.Anyway, once again, thank you for your thoughts on my little addition to Krickis’ story. I’m so glad that I got to read your feedback.
=( I read, "Something About Sunset" before this. A long time ago I put the first story that started this in my "Read it Later" folder. After reading these two, I don't know if I can read it and I've got over 56 stories in that folder.
When I first opened up, "Something About Sunset", I expected some drama some heartbreak stuff. ...I didn't expect this. I really hope the desynch is a fake out. I can't see a happy ending without it. I mean Star Swirl had made this portal thousands of years ago. He made hundreds of similar portals leading to different places. Surely this is all a mistake.