Misunderstanding of Misdirection

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Comments ( 15 )

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Think Real

Think Real #1 · May 14th, 2021 · 2 · ·

First one to comment about sex

WanderingPony

WanderingPony #2 · May 14th, 2021 · 8 · ·

Well, she went from turning tricks to ... turning tricks.

Herald of Opera

Herald of Opera #3 · May 14th, 2021 · 5 · 7 ·

Obligatory "Trixie says trans rights" is obligatory.

Some Leech

Some Leech #4 · May 14th, 2021 · 2 · ·

10815846
BAZINGA!

Shrinky Frod

Shrinky Frod #5 · May 15th, 2021 · 5 · ·

Oh Trixie. You'd be perfect as a toy for Maud, if only because she'd adore the rocks in your head.

Or the stones to make Starlight think you're actually this dumb and not fully aware of what you're doing.

concordion

concordion #6 · May 15th, 2021 · 11 · ·

mentally handicapped hooker

So funny! All of this!

DarkDMan

DarkDMan #7 · May 16th, 2021 · 4 · ·

10815846
And Starlight went from, John to Pimp!

Horse-With-No-Name

Horse-With-No-Name #8 · May 16th, 2021 · 1 · ·

This one gave me a chuckle. Good work!

bronyparty15

bronyparty15 #9 · May 17th, 2021 · 1 · ·

Oh lovely and always nice to see from you, also hope you're staying safe and doing well

Some Leech

Some Leech #10 · May 17th, 2021 · 3 · ·

10820156
Aye, I'm hanging in there

Hope you're doing well yourself

bronyparty15

bronyparty15 #11 · May 18th, 2021 · 1 · ·

10820305
Thanks and we are here for you if you need it, i just want to help people how I can.

AJ Aficionado

AJ Aficionado #12 · Jun 19th, 2021 · · ·

Well, I've done it. I went and read my first ever Some Leech fic. I had to do it eventually seeing so many of these stories at number 1 over the years.

First off, just want to say the workload you manage to handle is brutal and I admire your work ethic for keeping up the supply of clop and posting regularly. Your grammar is excellent, and I couldn't notice a single typo. As a guy who's edited and proofread well over a million words by now (perhaps close to 2 million) I know how truly impressive that is, so well done there.

Second, I like your prose. I'm a little biased as someone who also likes driving stories with prose but you paint a really nice picture with your words and the alliteration bits here and there are a nice touch.

That said, you have perhaps the worst case of Lavender Unicorn Syndrome I think I have ever witnessed. Every third or fourth paragraph almost without fail, you're said-tagging dialogue with a description of the character's role in the show instead of giving the reader relevant and meaningful details. You don't have to always use a said tag to let the reader know who's speaking, you can just have the speaker perform an action - maybe one that provokes a reaction back. I dunno, it just gets really distracting when it's overused.

Finally, your characters are, on the whole, not very close to what's canon. It's debatable how important that is in such a short story but I'd argue you can do more without adding much if anything to the overall length of the story. To illustrate my point, imagine if she'd been speaking in the third-person and godsplaining how amazing a lay she was to Starlight instead of as just a very stupid mare, which is how she's written. She could still be really dumb, but she'd be a pony-flavored style of idiot. Just my two cents. Have a nice day.

Some Leech

Some Leech #13 · Jun 19th, 2021 · · ·

10867631
I'll take this as mostly complimentary!

Thanks for taking the time to comment. I know my stuff isn't for everyone, especially considering it's predominantly pornographic, but I'm happy that some folks get enjoyment out of it!

For a guy who has no formal training in writing, I don't think I'm doing that badly - that being said, I know I still have a lot to learn!

OmniFox