Chapter 3
Dear Princess Celestia
Yesterday my friends and I went into the Everfree Forest against your wishes. My deepest apologies, but we thought somepony was in trouble and we had to help them. I hope you can see it fit to forgive us. On another note we met a strange being in the forest and Pinkie Pie considers him a new friend. I need to know why you didn’t want us to visit the forest yesterday and if this creature has something to do with it. He will be staying in Ponyville at Sugarcube Corner for the time being.
Patiently awaiting your response
Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle.
“Spike has the Princesses responded yet? I need you to let me know as soon as she does!”
“Calm down Twilight, you just sent the letter five minutes ago. I’ll let you when she writes back; maybe you should go see what Pinkie Pie is doing.”
“Spike, this could be the most important letter in the history of letters; the fate of Ponyville, no, the fate Equestria could be at stake! I need to be here and read it as soon as it comes.”
“Twilight, how about I go with you to Sugarcube Corner to visit this “strange being,” I’d kinda like to meet him and that way you can be sure when I receive the letter.”
“Well, alright, wait. Did you finish your chores?”
“No, not yet, but the fate of Equestria could be at stake, we should go to Sugar Cube Corner and make sure everything’s okay.” The little dragon said as he walked out the door.
----
“Welcome lambs, to the slaughter!” Helen the administrator said into the microphone, she wanted to make sure all her recordings were up to date before she took her one-hour break for the year. She heard a knock on the door. “Enter, Miss Pauling.” She said lighting a cigarette.
“Administrator, Mr. Conagher is on the line.” Miss Pauling told her superior.
She placed her palm on her forehead, “I can only guess what he wants.” She said as she picked up her phone. “Yes? I see. Missing? That puts you and your team at a severe disadvantage. Yes. Well, for the time being we shall send a robot. Don’t worry, a new coat of paint and it will attack the other team just like that mute idiot we all know and loathe. What? You don’t loathe him, you say. Friends? Well, too each their own. This conversation is over.”
“Is everything alright administrator?” Miss Pauling asked her employer.
“I have proven once again that I am very good at the guessing game.” She said as she turned back to her microphone and her television screens.
“Mr. Conaher seemed very concerned about something administrator.” Miss Pauling said, fearing she may have annoyed Helen with her question.
“Hale developed a new electro-sapper that will send anything in a teleporter, while the sapper is placed, to another universe.” She groaned when she saw that her assistant was not satisfied with the explanation. “We were going to use it permanently dispose of any items that could misconstrued as ‘illegal’ or ‘evidence’ and for people that could be deemed as ‘credible’ and whom we couldn’t simply kill. We tested it with our mercenaries, and it was a success, the Red mute pyromaniac is currently god knows where.”
“But administrator, will we be able to bring him back?”
“It is possible, his scientists were blithering on about how it can rip a hole in space time or in the something or other, but it is definitely possible. The real downside is that the sapper can only be used once and it cost several million dollars to produce, Hale has the means, but I have no desire in speaking with that idiot.”
“I could call him for you.” Miss Pauling said, hiding behind her clipboard.
“I will not have you waste your time on such trivial pursuits. We will send Red team one of those robots that Mann keeps building; those morons won’t even know the difference. Make sure you have it painted before shipping it, it may still kill those primates but at least the blood won’t be noticeable.” The administrator spun her chair and returned her gaze to the television monitors as Miss Pauling walked out of her office.
----
“Twilight, Spike, I’m so glad you’re here, you gotta see what Mumphy can do, it’s so cool. Go ahead Mumphy show them.” Pinkie Pie turned to her new friend. The Pyro was glad to show off his taunt, he motioned the ponies to stand back and created a rainbow over himself with a chubby pink unicorn at the top of the arch.
“That’s beautiful Pinkie, but why are we standing so far ba--” Twilight was interrupted by a small explosion, the rainbow seemed to have caught fire and flames rushed out from under the Pyro’s feet. “What the! What was that? Pinkie Pie, isn’t that dangerous?”
“Well duh Twilight, if you play with fire you could get burned.” She said as she gave the Pyro a big hug. “That’s awesome Mumphy, c’mon let’s go show the other ponies in town.”
“What? Pinkie, no it could be dangerous, Spike, help.” Twilight said frazzled, she could still feel the heat from the flames.
“Twilight calm down, it’s no different from fireworks, if the ponies just stay a safe distance away no one will get hurt.” The purple dragon explained. “And besides Pinkie Pie is with him and she would never let anyone get hurt.” The purple dragon burped out green flames and a piece of rolled up parchment.
“Good Princess Celestia responded, read the letter Spike.” Spike cleared his throat and began to read.
To my faithful student, Twilight Sparkle
I am very pleased to hear that you were willing to risk your well-being for a friend and I could never fault you for that. A shooting star was set to crash last night in the Everfree forest, Princess Luna was able to divert its course far away from your Zebra friend’s hut and it should have landed in a section of the forest where no creature, pony or otherwise, would get hurt. As for your new friend, I can’t say I have any knowledge of him or where he came from; perhaps he is an unknown species of animal, who makes his home in the forest. Please never hesitate to contact me with any news or questions you may have.
Yours truly,
Princess Celestia
“Well that’s that I guess. Princess Celestia says that this guy has nothing to with the danger.” Spike said to Twilight Sparkle.
“I’m still going to have to ask him some questions Spike. Pinkie Pie said that he came from that shooting star, that’s not something that just happens, we need to find out where he’s from and how to send him back.”
“Uhh, Twilight, why would you want to send him back? He seems like a real cool guy, and maybe he can show me how to do some of those fire tricks and then maybe I can impress ---”
“Spike, even if he’s not a danger to any of us, he’s obviously not from here, and I don’t mean just Equestria. He has his own home and probably family and friends who miss him.” Twilight Sparkle explained.
“So you think he’s an alien Twilight? Anyways, if he wants to leave why doesn’t he just say something?”
“I don’t think he’s an alien Spike, I think his home is even farther away than that. His whole presence here seems ... off. And I told you, he can understand us just fine but we can’t understand him, it’s just muffled noise to us, and I doubt Pinkie has asked him anything meaningful. I bet everypony speaks like that where he’s from …,” Twilight Sparkle gasped “wait, what if ponies don’t even exist where he’s from?”
“Twilight, of course ponies exist where he’s from; how would magic exist without unicorns, how could they change the weather without the pegasus, and not to mention all the things we need earth ponies for.” Spike reassured his friend.
“Well, we’re still going to need to question him.” Twilight Sparkle said.
“How are we going to that?” Spike asked.
“Don’t worry about that Spike, I have a plan.” Twilight Sparkle said to her number one assistant.
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Physics is why we doesnt has to need unicorns or pegasai. Everything does it's shit by itselfs and doesnts need anyones to does it for thems. Anyways, English aren't that hard.
1228914
I'm in pain and all I did was read it....
Twilight should say "I have a plan."
You only use 'an' when the next word starts with a vowel, or a word that, when spoken, sounds like it begins with a vowel. You also use 'a' when the word starts with a vowel, but when spoken, sounds like it starts with a consonant.
I have a slice of cake
I have an umbrella
It took an hour
I have a ukulele
1228934
The original line used "idea" instead of "plan," I forgot to change the indefinite form though, thanks
Tell me Twilight... how in the world did you figure that out!
1228989 Magic
TOO MANY FICS I WANT TO READ IN FEAT BOX MAKE IT STOPPP
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!
DON'T YOU F***ING DARE REMOVE THE PYRO'S MASK, NO MATTER HOW HARD IT IS TO UNDERSTAND HIM/HER!
On another note, apart from the painful grammar, a great story which I would apreciate a lot more if I had played TF2.
1228914 Ya blitherin idiot! Ya makin us country folk look like a bunch of stupid cali surf hicks! Whats wrong with ya? Get the talk right!
...well alright then.
1229282 dude. magic. Twilight's prolly gunna use some sort of mind-reading spell. because nobody would remove Pyro's mask.
right?
1229338 I dunno, but the author never said anything about not removing the mask.
Pyro is a dude nuff said
NAH.... NAH, why does everypony believe A GOT DANG SUBTITLE.... Scout obviously said HE.... AND ONLY HE.... NEVER SHE.
PYRO'S VOICE SOUNDS LIKE A GUY. IT'S LIKE PEOPLE CALLING RAINBOW DASH A LESBIAN.... oh she's a tomboy... oh she helped Fluttershy up and it looked like she kissed her....NO....NO... WRONG, EVERYPONY ASSUMES THESE THINGS BECAUSE THEY ARE LUSTFUL!
1228933 I'm glad my comment did what it was intended to do.
To quote why our worlds don't need things to control them is simple and to quote jack rakan here. "sometimes you gotta wipe your own ass" ps Jack Rakan died. Decide fuck that I'm gonna live, and reappears due to willpower.
Oh dear.. twilight has a plan.. *mcguffen senses tingling*
1229452
This.
1229118 *snort snort*
1229118
paperspencils.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/1311763417814.jpg
Opposing forces welder has the same gas tank in the picture O3O pyro=welder from Half-Life opposing force
the world shall never know! 
I WANT TO KNOW!
1226106
To be quite honest, I believe that is a light blue colored female symbol that's blurred out so people can't actually tell what it is. I'm having trouble trying to determine if it's a cross or an arrow at the end, but I believe that's the point.
1227397 The subtitles on you tube videos are not to be trusted, they mess up all the time and even if they were throwing signs both way it would sound dumb and confusing in that sentence, I think people wanna to hear what they want to hear
1230825
The Sub titles are from Valve
Its another Is pyro a girl/boy thing
They did it in meet the spy on the Alarm-o-Tron With stuff like
RED PYRO
IS A WOMAN
IS A MAN
and IS A ROBOT in there somewhere
i don't normally read crossovers, but from the disctription, i love you already
TO THE TO READ LIST WITH YOU
Bluh. I'm out.
Something about this bugs me, and I can't put my finger on what. I think it might be characterization. That'd be because I've gotten used to picking up who's talking by their 'speech' (really word-choice, since it's text, but you get my point) mannerisms, and I'm not getting that here.
I'm going to choose to believe that's mostly due to having only read writers who nail them exceptionally well so far, though. That way it doesn't make you look bad
I thought that the pyro would bring all-consuming fire to them, not rainbows and bubbles
1288687
it's Pyrovision. in TF2, the Pyro has a set of goggles called the Pyrovision goggles, and when you look through them (as in the Meet the Pyro video) you see that the Pyro sees the world as basically this giant world of bubbles and rainbows. it's meant to be a gag, really.
1228914
cant tell if sarcasm or actually bad at english