My Little Space Empire: Mechs are Magic

by Wheezyandbreezy

Oh Don't be a Baby. I Barely Hit You.

One day the members of strike team Sparkle had been summoned to the tertiary flight deck of the Damocles in full dress uniform at 0900. None of them had been told why but they slowly made their way to the flight deck. Rarity kept having to straighten Pinkie's gig line and tie, but they never seemed to want to agree with her bust. They filed in and milled around waiting for something to happen. Then something happened. Something they probably should've expected but only one of them handled it in anything resembling well.

Twilight called them to attention with her mind from outside the room. They snapped into a row and stood ramrod straight facing the void, they could see the stars shimmering on the other side as if viewed through water. A small, but very elegant ship came slowly through the void shields and landed gracefully on the flight deck. Out stepped a detail of Royal Guard clad in ornate golden power armor, their high white and blue crests on their helmets swayed gently as they marched in perfect synchronization. Then the last person any of Strike Team Sparkle had expected. The solar Viceroy. Celestia herself, walking and talking with Twilight Sparkle as if with an old friend. She was tall, much taller than an average human woman, her hair flowed behind her like the first shimmering colors of dawn. Her skin was a fair golden tan, her gait an elegant floating stride. She had large vestigial wings that folded close to her shoulders like a cloak made of the purest snow on the mountainside. In her was all things fair and beautiful. She radiated power, beneficence, and grace.

That is not how Strike Team Sparkle took her appearance on their ship. Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity were all screaming in their heads, " WHY THE FUCK IS THE VICEROY HERE?!

All Pinkie Pie could think was "Gosh her hair looks pretty. I want to touch it." Twilight gently calmed them down in their minds. Twilight ordered them to kneel and they dropped a little too quickly onto one knee, except Pinkie Pie who in this very specific instance was the most well behaved of the group. A guard stomped up to Celestia and presented her with an ornate black box. He opened it and there was a small golden sword hilt. Celestia hesitated before taking it as she always did. The memory of what she had done with this sword still bothered her.

She took it and the guard marched smartly away. Celestia focused on the sword hilt and out of it shone, like evening sun beams shining through glass a four foot long beam of her essence. It emanated psychic power. She approached the kneeling figures and a voice that emanated benevolence echoed throughout the flight deck and within their own minds. "Do you swear on your honor to serve the throne with your life, never to retreat, never to surrender, until your death?"

The members of Strike Team Sparkle said in perfect unison. "On my honor, I shall serve the throne until my death, never to retreat, never to yield." None of them had consciously meant to say it, but they meant it just the same. Twilight stepped forward and struck each of them a gentle blow across the cheek.

Celestia spoke, "Then may that be the last stroke you receive unanswered." She gently touched each of their right shoulders with the very tip of her sword. Applejack felt it's touch like a warm day back on her ag world and suddenly felt rather homesick. "On this day I dub you knights of the realm, guardians of the Solar Empire and servants of the throne." Twilight stepped in front of them and knelt in front of her sovereign. Celestia spoke, "Twilight Sparkle."

Twilight answered "Yes my Viceroy."

"Do you on this day swear to rid my realms of the scourge of piracy?" Celestia asked, her tone commanding yet warm and kind.

Twilight's face grew excited as she answered. She unintentionally radiated psychic power as she said, "I pledge my life to your service, and on my honor I swear that I shall secure your realms, or I shall die in the attempt."

Celestia smiled warmly on her protege. She thought to herself, "Who is this kneeling before me saying such bold words? Surely not the adorable little girl I once taught how to levitate a book." A guard marched up and presented Celestia with a sword handle in its scabbard. Celestia handed it to Twilight. "Then I order you, in the name of the throne, to take up this sword, and wield it in my service, until such time I order you to lay it down." Twilight took the scabbard and removed the sword handle.

She focused on the handle and slowly a violet energy came up and shaped itself into a blade. "I shall." She relaxed and the blade fizzled out of existence, she returned the handle to its scabbard, and put it into her belt. She knelt again.

Celestia addressed the five of them. "You shall be the tip of my spear. The force of the will of the throne."

The five answered, "Let it be so!"

And just like that Celestia, guards, ship, and all were gone. Twilight stood and faced the four kneeling figures. Pinkie did a backflip onto her feet. "Awww I didn't get to touch the shiny!"

The other three members stayed kneeling quivering in residual terror and anger. "Twahlaght?. . . " Applejack growled still on one knee.

Twilight fiddled with her scabbard on her belt as she uninterestedly answered, "Yes Applejack?"

Rainbow leapt to her feet and screamed, "WHAT IN FUCKS NAME WAS THAT?!"

It was Rarity's turn to voice her disapproval. "WARN A GIRL BEFORE YOU PRESENT HER WITH THE FUCKING VICEROY TWILIGHT!" The three began shouting their discontent all at once. Pinkie Pie, seeing nothing wrong with what had just happened, wandered over to the cargo loading dock and pressed a button to open a different cargo bay.

As if it had been her plan Twilight interrupted the tirade with an unnecessarily loud telepathic message of, "Say who wants a giant robot?" The three were silent. Rainbow Dash was in a fury of cognitive dissonance. She stomped angrily towards the giant war machines. Twilight turned and strutted leisurely towards the other cargo bay.

Applejack came alongside and asked. "So we're knaghts now?" Twilight simply nodded.

Rarity took the other side and babbled, "B-bu-but I mean that's just an honorary title right I mean we don't get, I mean uhh."

"Title, fiefs, lands, pension yes Rarity, you are now a Knight of the realm." Rarity and Applejack stared at each other dumbfounded. They both followed in a daze after Twilight. The five brand new top of the line mechanized combat suits gleamed in the white light of the cargo bay like freshly waxed sports cars in a showroom. Each knew instinctively which mech was there's, and they walked up reverently in awe at the towering machines. Except Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie who were emitting a sustained high pitched squeal like overstimulated school girls seeing their first boy band concert.

Twilight couldn't help but look a little smug as she gave a description. "Ladies each and every one of you should thank the engineers of the motor pool, because they've taken the field of mechanized warfare to a whole new level."

She stepped over to Rainbow Dash's mech. Its armor was sky blue, and on the leg was painted a thunder cloud with a red, yellow, and blue thunder bolt. It was the smallest of the five vaguely humanoid machines. "Lancer class, with the biggest boosters you'll find on a mech this small. Seventy percent of the weight is just the thrusters, and the shield generators. This baby can out run most anything under light speed and can take a hit from a ship's point defence laser for a sustained 15 seconds. Two shoulder mounted gatling guns, four rear facing missile tubes, two forward facing beaching lasers, and two wrist mounted las cutters. Oh and."She telekinetically grabbed Rainbow's wrist and pointed it towards the machine. Lights on its head flashed twice and emitted a small chirping noise. "Anti theft measures." Rainbow had tears streaming down her face and her smile threatened to split her head in two.

Twilight walked nonchalantly over to Applejack's suit. It's armor was bright orange. It was by far the largest of the five suits, with big bulky features from its cannons to its head. "Brawler class. Half the weight of the mech is it's ammunition canisters." Twilight turned to Applejack and smirked. "If you run out of ammo before the battle is over we will have words. The armor makes up another third of the weight. You could take a broadside head on and be just a little shook up. Two wrist mounted cannons, two shoulder mounted gatling guns and two head mounted point defence gatling guns. The only way anything's getting to you is if you let it. Triple redundancies of every system."

She continued her tour, not terribly concerned that Rainbow Dash had stayed behind to fiddle with her cockpit's set up. Rarity's mech was snow white with one large cannon the length of the whole machine towering beside it. "Archer class. You may recognize that cannon as a ship's macrolaser. Let me put it this way Rarity, if you miss, and hit a planet with this, you will just have committed a war crime." Rarity chuckled, but Twilight's face was stern. "No seriously, I had to ask very nicely to get you that cannon. DON'T. MISS." She turned back to the suit. Range thrusters to get in position on the quick and the best optics in the Imperial military. Oh and Rarity." She lifted them both into the air to see the inside of the open cockpit. Rarity saw that there was no sync drive. "Totally stick." Rarity hugged Twilight around the neck and they almost dropped out of the air. She put them back down and turned to Pinkie's mech.

"Now Pinkie." She stopped when she saw that Pinkie Pie was giving the giant robot a hug.

Pinkie sniffled and wheezed through her tears. "It's pink!" She detached herself and gave Twilight a gentle shaking hug. "You know me so well."

Twilight grew genuinely mad for a moment. Her voice echoed with psychic enhancement. "NO! NO I FUCKING DON'T!" She calmed herself down. "No. No I do not. The only thing I know is that you're good with grenades. So." She inhaled deeply. "Thirteen bunker buster bombs, thirteen anti missile flares, thirteen crack missiles, thirteen depth charges, thirteen sticky grenades, one wrist mounted plasma cutter, and one FLAMETHROWER!" She gasped for breath.

Pinkie Pie was still crying. "You made them all a baker's dozen! You DO know me!" She squeezed Twilight tight. Twilight tried to teleport out of the crushing embrace, but it just took Pinkie with her.

Rainbow Dash had finally gotten her seat just the way she liked it and chimed in, "What about yours Twilight? It doesn't look like all that much." The others looked and indeed the purple humanoid machine didn't boast giant cannons, or thick armor, it barely looked like a combat mech at all.Twilight waved a hand dismissively. "Hrmm? Oh yes well mine's more of an extension of myself then a war machine. Ship's plasma cannon, ship's tractor beam, largest single origin teleporter in the empire, omnibus shield generator. Nothing special." She'd meant it when she'd said it but when she turned to look at them they were all staring at her mouth agape. Rarity reached over and closed Pinkie Pie's mouth for her. They all turned and stared at the machine with a mix of awe and terror.

"Sheeyoot Twi!" Applejack grinned wide. "Or should I say Sir Twi." She chuckled softly. "When you go all out, you go ALL OUT."

Twilight raised an eyebrow. "I've been Sir Twilight. I was knighted before you started your training. I just had to see if I could eradicate piracy in the galaxy with your help." She smiled warmly. "And there's no one else in the galaxy I'd rather have to fight by my side than you girls." She bowed low. "Thank you. Thank you all." There was a tear in every eye as they swarmed her into a group hug.

Finally Rainbow Dash broke away and scrambled into her cockpit and shouted, "WELL COME ON SLOWPOKES LET'S TEST THESE BAD BITCHES OUT!" She started up her suit's ignition sequences. She could feel the power at her fingertips and moaned in a mix of delight and arousal.

Twilight psychically called out to be heard over the sound of the engines. "Nah that's okay. I was going down to Terra to get some well deserved R&R."

Rainbow Dash powered down her suit and dropped out of the cockpit. "WHAT?! Twilight ya can't just dangle a brand new suit in front of me then go on vacation!"

Applejack agreed. "Yeah Twi. Ahm glad you've got so much faith in us n all, but we gotta get familiarized and what not with are mechs."

Twilight turned, "Of course we do. We've got to practice squad tactics, strategize on how we're going to convince those who would try to raid convoys that it's simply more profitable to be a merchant than a pirate. Learn where their strongholds are, make sure that no planetary governments are sponsoring them, and all that's going to take a long time. And once we leave here we'll be doing that until we're done. So I'd suggest that while we can." She gave a knowing glance at Pinkie Pie. "We should party." Pinkie Pie inhaled deeply in elation. All four of them plugged their ears, knowing what Twilight had just started. Pinkie let out a squeal that they could all feel vibrating off of them.

Twilight made to walk towards the shuttle bay but Rainbow Dash called out, Wait!" Twilight turned. "Could we take our suits down to the surface?" Twilight considered this for a moment. She knew she shouldn't, but they were theirs personally, and they could get a head start with familiarizing themselves with them. She shrugged her shoulders and Rainbow Dash cheered. All of them began to mount up. All except Rarity. "Come on Rare let's fuckin do this!" Rainbow Dash shouted.

Twilight suddenly recalled the elephant in the room and telepathically called out for them to dismount. They all shut down their suits, but Rainbow Dash didn't drop down out of her cockpit just yet. "WHAT?! OH COME ON WHAT'S A MATTER?!"

Rarity walked slowly to the void shields and stared at the planet below. Terra. She'd refused to look at it while they were in training, but now she stared at it. "I can't go to Terra. Not while he's there"

Rainbow groaned audibly. "Oh come on Rarity it's a fucking PLANET! I doubt your gonna see one HIM on a planet of TWENTY BILLION FUCKING PEOPLE."

Twilight sent a psychic shriek into Rainbow Dash's mind. She put a hand on Rarity's shoulder. "Rarity, on my honor, I will never order you to go to Terra against your will." Rarity put a hand on Twilight's and nodded gratefully. Twilight turned and started barking orders. "APPLEJACK! Go down to engineering and rangle us up some good ol boys to party with. Rarity! Go get dressed. S.P.I.K.E.!

He manifested in front of Twilight and saluted. "Yes sir?"

Twilight barked. "Play with Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash!" Rainbow Dash saluted. "Go kill things and come join the party when you're done. Pinkie!" Pinkie Pie was vibrating in place with anticipation. "Party."

Comments

[Admiral Q Ponyform]

Okay thought they were the human versions. You are really confusing me here

[Wheezyandbreezy]

10848275
They are. When you become a "super psychic" as I've lazily called them you grow a pair of wings and your hair goes all wooshy.

[BleuBlooms]

10848371
This the greatest explanation ever.