Raining Up A Storm
Somehow, Twilight Sparkle’s perspective on Archard was changing.
Not that the human was acting any different– well, he might have been slightly different from yesterday. More serious and slightly more aggressive in his personality. He seemed to be less willing to take orders from ponies, and more upset when they were presented to him, but other than that, he was largely the same, dopey, annoying alien he was.
But somehow, after that talk he had with her about how he felt she was treating him, her perspective about him changed. He seemed more… likable somehow? Less frustrating and more fun? How this was happening, she didn’t know, but she could tell it was. It made her worried. Maybe this was its plan– to get into her head and make her think he was perfectly okay when he tried to do something evil.
But no evil from him came. He sat down in front of Lyra and Twilight and took more questions, just like he did the previous day, and didn’t utter even one complaint about it. He answered a range of questions, from whether or not he thought humans actually were the ancestors of ponies to whether or not he thought he would be good at juggling with hands that seemed to be perfectly shaped for it. After the two were completely satisfied, he guided the alicorn through the process of making spaghettios, which eventually devolved into him just telling her to make regular spaghetti and blaming the lack of the food being available to ponies not having had the ‘advents of can openers’.
He ate at the table, sitting weirdly in the chair like Lyra would as everypony in the room watched him.
“You know, you guys don’t have to stare at me,” he said. “If you want some food, you can just make some. It’s not like this is my house.”
“I was just thinking that you should sleep here for tonight, Arching– err, Archard,” Twilight started. “For practical purposes.”
The human chuckled at that. “If you want me to pet you some more, all you have to do is ask,” he told her with a little smile. “You don’t need to be coy about it, especially with nice, soft fur like yours.”
“I– I don’t have– I meant so we can get you back home!” she stammered embarrassedly. “Lyra and I are gonna work on finding a way to send you back tonight, so it’s best if you stay here so that we can just send you back the second we find it.”
“Oh, you know what? That makes a lot more sense. But I know you’d like it if I pet you anyway. The red cheeks you have right now say so.”
She grumbled to herself and stomped a foot in frustration lightly, but moved past it. “Do you know anything about teleportation?” she asked. “I assume not, but I want to be sure. How exactly did you get here?”
“I was in the forest–”
“The Everfree Forest?”
“No, the one in the park behind my house. Anyway, I was struck by lightning after rolling two nat twenties while casting Fulmenium on an ogre because Aaron and Lee were afraid of getting wet during our larp session.”
“There are ogres where you’re from?” Twilight asked. “And what’s Fulmenium?”
“Also, what’s a ‘larp session’?” Lyra added.
“A larp session is a session of live action roleplaying. Kind of like ogres and oubliettes. I’m pretty sure Spike would know what it is since he seems like a fantasy nerd.”
“Hey! Don’t make fun of him!”
“I’m not. It’s a term of endearment, cause I’m a fantasy nerd, too. But also, no, there aren’t any ogres, and Fulmenium is a spell that controls lightning, which makes it quite the coincidence that lightning struck me right after I cast it. Maybe I’m just too powerful for Earth, and so it chose to vomit me up in Equestria.”
“But I thought you said before where you’re from didn’t have any magic?”
“It doesn’t, which is why I said it was a coincidence. I was larping, remember?”
“That doesn’t sound like a coincidence to me,” Twilight said suspiciously. “I mean, you cast a lighting spell and then were struck by lightning? Maybe it wasn’t something we did after all. Maybe it was something you did!”
“I’m extremely certain it was a coincidence, because I’ve been in more than one rainstorm were I cast that spell, and nothing happened then. Plus, I’m pretty sure like a thousand people in the US get struck by lightning each year. It’s rare, but it’s not like it’s the most impossible thing in the world.”
“Plus, we went through my entire setup for how to bring humans to Equestria, and he only appeared after we did all that? I don’t think that's a coincidence.”
“Less of a coincidence than him being struck by lightning and appearing in Equestria in a flash of lightning after he said he cast a lightning spell?”
“Uh, yeah,” Archard interjected, “since Earth doesn’t have magic?”
“And he wasn’t affected by your magic before, Twilight. Why would that change if he does it? It seems to me like humans are naturally resistant.”
“Maybe, or maybe he just needs to cast that spell again, and a strike of lightning will appear and send him back home. We have to investigate all scenarios.”
“More than likely nothing’s gonna happen, but I guess I’ll give it a shot if you think it’s gonna work. Although if I die, then I’m gonna make sure Fluttershy gives you The Stare for doing this to me.”
“Um, but you don’t think you’ll actually get hurt, do you?” Fluttershy asked quietly. “I would hate it if you did something that got yourself injured.”
“Of course not, Flutters,” he smiled. “That’s just insurance for if it somehow works, which it won’t. Anyway, let me get this out of the way now.” Before either Lyra or Twilight could raise their voices and ask him to stop, he was striking the same pose he held when he cast the spell for the final time on Earth.
“Hey, smartwatch!” he called in the air as he pointed at nothing. “Roll two twenty sided dice for power and accuracy!”
“No internet connection,” the watch called back.
“Welp, I think that’s about as far as we’re gonna get with that plan,” he said, still holding the pose. “I’d offer to roll a regular die, but I left mine in my other pants back on Earth. Maybe Spike has some.”
“What does rolling a die have anything to do with casting a spell?” Twilight asked with a raised eyebrow.”
“Nothing, but you said you wanted me to cast the spell I did before, and this is how I did it. Now can you see if Spike has a die, please? My arms are getting tired.”
“Ugh, let me see if I can find one,” Twilight said, rolling her eyes as she trudged up the stairs to his bedroom.
Once again though, she got the feeling that Archard wasn’t all bad. Honestly, if he would stop acting as silly as he seemed to be, she could see her and the human being actual friends. She imagined they had a few things in common, minus most things. There was a serious personality beneath the surface, one he seemed like he was trying to hide, as well as the fact that he didn’t seem like he put up with too much of what some ponies might throw his way. It was like he was Pinkie Pie, except turned down several notches and more ironic about how he acted.
It was a few minutes of digging around the dragon’s room, messy as he’d left it before going to spend the night with Big Mac for their guy’s night, but eventually she’d found a die that was twenty sided. Then she went back to the living room every creature was in, looking at a sight of Archard’s body shaking as he tried to stay in position.
“Okay, roll for power and accuracy now before I fall over. My arms hurt.”
“Hold on… looks like… twenty for power, and.. twenty for accuracy? Isn’t that what you said happened last time?”
Before he could answer, the human was interrupted by dark rain clouds appearing in Twilight’s library and letting themselves loose in the building. They poured down heavily, soaking everything around them, and let out a few rumbles of threatening thunder and flashes of bright white lightning.
“There’s no way that worked,” Archard said. “You guys have to be tricking me, or Rainbow Dash or something. The odds of rolling four nat twenties in a row are, like, one in two hundred thousand. I’m lucky, but I’m not that lucky!”
“Oh, that’s not the spirit of things, is it?” a familiar voice announced, one that only made Archard sigh along with the rest of the library by this point when he heard it. A second later, the creature appeared with a snap of his fingers, saying, “I thought you’d go along with this little prank and believe that you were about to go back home! Perhaps you’d even say that you were brought here as the result of your own will, and then Twilight would be upset with you for creating this rainstorm.”
“Well, as I was explaining to Twilight before,” Archard said, the frustration in his voice clear, “I’m not the fucking idiot you make me out to be, so if you could kindly stop treating me that way, it would be appreciated.”
“I’m treating you no such way! I’ve given you nothing but love and respect since the moment I laid eyes upon you. Do you not remember that sweet shindig I threw for you? The one you so carelessly rejected attending?”
The human inhaled sharply and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You know, you’re much more annoying in real life than you are watching you on TV.”
“And now you’re bullying me,” Discord crossed his arms. “I knew this is what would come my way for trying to have an ounce of fun.”
“If you knew I was gonna be angry, then why on Earth did you do it?” he asked. “I at least had a reasonable excuse of not knowing this was all real yesterday.”
“And I would say that I have the excuse of being disregarded in favor of those ponies you stand with, and having my tea party interrupted so rudely. You and that little dragon showed up quite uninvited, and it’ll be another two weeks before I can have my alone time with my best friend in the whole world.”
“Yeah, I’m sorry and all, but can you–”
“Can you please stop the rain in my library, Discord?” Twilight asked, her body frozen and her eyes locked on to the bookshelves around her that were getting drenched. “These books can’t be damaged! Some of them are very old!”
“Well, I suppose for you, I can end this, but know that I’m not doing this for that creature who holds disdain for me.” He snapped his fingers, and suddenly the gray clouds and rain were gone, the books dried off and looking as perfect as ever. The ponies caught in the rainstorm were now dried off as well, although Archard remained drenched to the bone.
“You know, I could dry you off, too, Arching,” the draconequus said spitefully, “but I don’t think I shall, since your behavior to me has been nothing but rude after I’ve done my best to spread kindness your way.”
“Fine. Don’t dry me off. I honestly don’t care at this point. You kind of just ruined my night anyway.” Then the human sighed grumpily and stomped his way upstairs, heading into the bathroom and leaving the rest of the creatures in the living room alone. All of those remaining looked to Discord, who only shrugged.
“What can I say?” he asked as he sat down on a couch, snapping his fingers and putting on a pair of sunglasses and hoodie, like something a younger foal would wear. “That guy was cramping our style anyway.”
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a nice update
Twiggles, denial isn't just a river in Egypt.
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HAHAHAHA!
I think discord is getting seriously jealous.
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It's a possibility.
Y'know. . . This has come up in many fics. And yet, many people have believed wholeheartedly in various forms of magic throughout history. Some still do today. It's kind of odd that every HiE (as far as I can remember, and I've read a lot of them) asserts as an absolute, iron-clad fact that magic isn't a real thing at all on Earth. Not in any form. Ever. And nothing ever causes them to reconsider in the slightest.
Also. . . I had a friend once who took it in his head that he wanted to become a brujo, a Mexican style shaman or witch doctor. So one day he was hanging around the lake, and a bunch of families were relaxing there, and he decided to show some of the kids how to do a simple protective charm. He was going through the motions, demonstrating how to cast the spell, and a lightning bolt crashed down out of the blue. (Total coincidence, he insisted!) Then all the parents came running to collect their kids and pull them away from the Evil One.
Come on Discord, take your friendship lesson already!
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Besides unverifiable anecdotes, there is absolutely no proof whatsoever that magic is real, has ever been real or ever will be real.
Discord....i hope someone het little payback for Archie
Twilight, get it through your head. HE WAS PLAYING A GAME! PRETENDING! HE KNOWS NO MAGIC! Oh, and basically everything Lyra wrote is either exaggerated or just plain WRONG.
I shall wait for Archard to call Discord Q that could may or may not show up in future chapters. :3
Discord acts the most mature in my opinion.
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Very much enjoying this story! Hopefully when it updates (fingers crossed for sooner rather than never) I'll actually get an email now I've turned the option on.
Thanks for writing!