Ponyville Local News

by Twinsez

Ponyville Local News 004

“Local Ponyville News is brought to you by Carrot Farms. Go get yourself some Carrot Bread, the hottest product on the market. Come to our stores located in Ponyville and taste the best thing on Equestria.”

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“Gooood afternoon Ponyville! This is DJ-Pon3 coming at you live at the top of the hour, here to bring you the local news. The Summer Sun Celebration was… weird yesterday, and we have a lot to cover. But before we get into that, this station needs to apologize for something terrible.

“You see, our Princess has always been known as a prankster of sorts. Her pranks have always been harmless enough though that nopony seems to give much thought to it. But we wanted to play a little prank on all you listeners out there, and we asked the Princess if she would be into it. She said yes, and that’s where we have to apologize. We pressured her into freaking out on live radio, and we all deeply regret it. We did not mean to scare the good citizens of Ponyville, or to sully the Princess’s name. It was simply a prank gone to far, and the station won’t let it happen again.

“So now, let’s talk about the Summer Sun Celebration. So the Apples had their feast at Sweet Apple Acres yesterday evening. It was much bigger than anything they put out in the previous years, for obvious reasons. However, there was one problem: Carrot Top. Carrot Top unofficially announced that her farm would hold a similar feast and that they would be happy if some ponies could come by. Of course, ponies thought she meant that everypony could stop on by, and Carrot Farms was jampacked with hungry ponies by the evening.

“This obviously angered Applejack, even though her own festival still attracted many ponies, including yours truly. Those Apple Dumplings were on point! Anyway, she has not yet made a public statement about Carrot Top, but this whole thing has probably put a lot of pressure on her to keep her business growing.

“The Carrot Bread is pretty good though. I tried it a couple days ago. In fact, I have a loaf at home, probably going to devour it after this broadcast.

“But you didn’t tune in to hear about what I eat! You’re here for the news, and we will give you the news! No matter how bad they are.

“A vicious brawl broke out in Mareson’s bar, and it unfortunately got violent. There’s not even a reason why the fight started, the ponies apparently just started throwing hooves at each other randomly. Maybe the drinks were working too well. Anyway, to make it even more depressing, one of the fighters was Rarity Belle. The mare who lost her shop a couple of days ago. She’s hospitalized right now, along with three other ponies in the fight. She’s been fined for 500 bits, which she doesn’t have, so she’s in the shitter right now. I feel bad for her. I really do. Hope she can cobble together some bits, but I don’t know how she can.

“Besides the fight, the Celebration would go on smoothly. Most excitedly, Apple Bloom, the adorable sister of Applejack, would go on to win every single competition in the Filly Games! From tennis to pole vaulting, that little filly did it all! I swear she should be this towns mascot of something. She should be protected at all costs.

“As much as I would love to talk more about that kind of stuff, we don’t have time for that. So unfortunately, we must continue. By the time the sun set, which the Princess did surprisingly in secrecy instead in front of a crowd, parties were raging all over Ponyville. I wish all that happened were a couple extra fights or some noisy shouting. Unfortunately, something much worse occurred.

“The fire was sighted at around 3:00 this morning. It was sighted a mile deep in the Everfree Forest and quickly spread. The fire spread all the way to the edge of the forest before finally being extinguished by our very own Ponyville Weather Team. However, the results of the fire have been disastrous. Who knows how many wildlife and local plants have perished from this fire, and the homeless ponies that were living near the forest have been forced to evacuate from the smoke. It is still uncertain when they’ll return. Not to mention how the fire was caused on the first place.

“And then t-there was the problem with the m-moon. There were many reports concerning a o-odd color ch-change in the moon. According to these ponies, for around f-five minutes at a-around 5:00, the moon appeared bright red. The c-cause is unknown, only another mystery added to th-this summer sun celebration.

“But we do have some good news! While the fire was being extinguished, they were handing out Apple Family treats to terrified ponies, even the homeless ponies that had to evacuate.

“...I can’t do this. I’m sorry I can’t. There’s nothing here I want to report, I c-can't report this. Look, my hooves are shaking! I can’t keep doing this, we have nothing good to report, we’re not even done! Please, end it. Give me time, I’m shaking. Shit, somepony give me water. I’m dying, I’m dying. What did we do, what did we do we shouldn’t have done it oh please help me there’s nothing to report nothing matters please help stop it please stop it I’m shaking help help help help hel-“

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“The filly Scootaloo still has not been found. Please look for. She must be returned to her family. It is imperative. If you find this filly, report to Ponyville police immediately. If you withhold any information regarding this filly and her location, there will be serious consequences. It’s important to make sure she does not leave this town. Find this filly. It is of the upmo-“

“-I will see to it this glorious country will live on forever and ever. Remember that, fellow ponies. I will keep no secrets from you, because you are what keeps this country. You are what makes this land great. You are what keeps ponies in power. And it is you that will help me make Equestria the greatest country in the worl-“

“-st importance.”

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“Hello everypony! This is reporter Time Turner, filling in for DJ-Pon3 to close out this news segment. She’s undergoing personal problems at the moment, but don’t worry. She’ll be absolutely fine! She’s just under a lot of stress. Yesterday wasn’t exactly a walk in the park for anypony. Anyways, let’s finish this with one more bit of news.

“There were several reports that cloaked figures were found exiting out of the Town Hall, only minutes before the red moon was also reported. Might we add, Princess Celestia herself was staying at the Town Hall. While these reports may not be true, it’s hard not to wonder what those figures were doing at the hall, or if they had any business with the Princess. Let’s hope not.

“And now, we have a special announcement. Thanks to a donation from our Princess, we have received top-notch audio equipment. That’s right, now we can get audio outside of the station. Sure makes my job a good deal easier. So I was able to sneak on down to the hall and catch Princess Celestia’s speech as she was raising the sun. Let’s take a listen, shall we?”

“Fellow ponies, today has not been as great a day as I hoped. The fire, the odd color of the moon, and the fights. But I don’t think it’s fair to just look at all the negatives from this celebration. Because this day marks a change for Equestria. I raise the sun every day, but you know why this time is so special?

“This raising of the sun represents a new change in Equestria, the realization that success is only on the horizon. To celebrate the future, and look at the past as only a distant memory. Every celebration, I hope that Equestria can change in some way, to further better itself and the creatures around it.

“That hope has been put in jeopardy these past few years, but it is back my ponies. It is back, and with that, the importance of this celebration is also reborn. This is the day where we celebrate not only the past successes of Equestria, but its future successes as well. Where everypony, town or city, big and small, has a part to play. I will see to it this glorious country will live on forever and ever. Remember that, fellow ponies. I will keep no secrets from you because you are what keeps this country alive. You are what makes this land great. You are what keeps ponies in power. And it is you that will help me keep Equestria's place as the greatest country in the world. So let us welcome new successes that are certain to come with the raising of the sun, in front of you all. And remember: long live Equestria!”

“Isn’t that a rousing speech? That was certain to get the town cheering. And remember everypony, there is success on the horizon. And a big change is coming. Just you wait, Ponyville. Just you wait. It will be something the angels will sing about. Now time for some music. This is When Can I See You by Blue Velvet. Enjoy, and long live Equestria.”

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When can I see you again, my darling
Oh, I’ve waited oh so long
To feel your loving touch, my darling
To tell me there ain’t nothing wrong

But now I think my heart is breaking, my darling
Because I’ve waited oh so long
So tell me when you’re coming back, my darling
So I can stop singing this song

Comments

[Pete100]

Is it me or is ponyville really going down hill?