Ponyville Local News

by Twinsez

Ponyville Local News 003

“The Ponyville Local Radio is brought to you by Carrot Farms. Go get yourself some Carrot Bread, the hottest product on the market. Come to our stores located in Ponyville and taste the best thing in Equestria.”

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“Happy Summer Sun Celebration everypony! This is Dj-Pon3 coming at you with the Ponyville Local News at the top of the hour! And do we have a special broadcast for you today! You see, today’s a holiday, and holidays deserve something new, not just boring old regular news. So that’s why today, we did the impossible. We have only our second guest interviewee, and yet it’s the one you were all secretly hoping for. Ponyvillians, I cannot stress how excited I am to interview this mare for you fine ponies today. So, mares and gentlecolts, I’m happy to announce that, sitting right next to me is your one and only Princess Celestia. Why don’t you give the ponies of Ponyville a hello, Princess?”

“Hello, my little ponies. I am very happy to be able to talk with you all today. Ponyville was always one of my favorite towns in Equestria, and I’d like to thank the station here for allowing me to do this.”

“Oh, it’s nothing. Thank you for coming Princess.”

“Please, call me Celestia.”

“Okay! So, as much as I would like to ask you these type of questions, you didn’t come her to talk politics.”

“I’m afraid I didn’t, no.”

“Good, glad we can clear that up. However, there is just one question that everypony here in Ponyville has been dying to hear you answer.”

“Oh? And what, pray tell, is it?”

“Well, we all just want to know… is the Griffon War really almost over?”

“Ah, I thought you might say that. Well, I guess I could answer just one. While I can’t reveal any specifics, I can assure the ponies of Equestria that the end is in sight, and our soldiers are fighting hard to ensure victory and peace for all.”

It’s incredibly reassuring to hear that from you Prin- whoops! From you Celestia. So now that we got that out of the way, we can just have a fun interview. So, I’d like to start off by asking you this: does it ever get old raising the sun and moon everyday?”

“Hmmmm, that’s a good question. No, I don’t think so. Sure, I do tire from it at times. When you’ve lived as long as I have, you’ll eventually grow tired of most things. But, it still is a duty. It’s necessary to maintain the stability of Equestria, and thus, I must do it. And I will forever do it until Equestria lives no more, which will be never. Keeping Equestria happy will never get old.”

“Great answer. Another question: What was Equestria like when you first started your rule?”

“Well, it was much different from today’s Equestria, I assure you. There were no wars, no fighting, no enemies. It was just ponies helping ponies live in harmony. Of course, our neighbors would begin to grow more savage and violent over time, and we’d experience our fair share of enemies. Discord, Sombra, Zebras, the Changelings, the Sea Ponies. And now the griffons. But remember, every previous enemy Equestria has faced, we have defeated. The griffons will not take the upper hand today. Not ever.”

“Well, I can’t help but point out you forgot to mention Nightmare Moon.”

“Ah yes, Nightmare Moon. Must have slipped my mind.”

“Well, today is the Summer Sun Celebration. The day you killed her.”

“... I am well aware of that. It’s most tragic, really. She came down from the stars, and challenged my authority. She wanted an endless night, and I could simply not allow that. So yes. I… vanquished her.”

“So, how many years has it been now?”

“O-one thousand.”

“Ahhhhh, big number 1000. So anyways, do you see your defeat of Nightmare Moon as one of your biggest victories?”

“H-how dare you! I’m appalled that you would think I would consider anything a ‘personal victory.’ Everything I do I do for the benefit of Equestria and for the world, not for some personal validation. Nightmare Moon was a threat to Equestria, so I had to do what had to be done. I was not aware I would be attacked for my past actions when I agreed to this interview. What you are doing is strictly unprofessional. I coul-“

“WOAH there! I didn’t mean any offense, I swear! I just worded that wrong, okay? I apologize for that. Please, sit down. Don’t storm out of the station when we’re live.”

“...So be it. But if you EVER ask me those type of questions again-“

“Yes yes, it won’t happen again Princess, I promise. So let’s get back into this with a fun question. Rumor has it you enjoy a good cocktail in your free time. If it’s true, what would you say is your favorite one?”

“Oh. Well, I do suppose it’s true I do fancy a good cocktail. If it’s in the summer, I’ll have a Manehattan Iced Tea. I love Apple Cider and everything you can make with it in the fall, and Egg Nog for the winter. Now that’s a nice question.”

“That’s right, we’re just taking it easy here. Now, what do you love most here about Ponyville?”

“Oh, I must say the close community this town has. You don’t find many collective communities in the big cities like Manehattan, and Cloudsdale and all of those Pegasus cities focus so much on military fighting. But here, it’s so peaceful, like a nice fire during a snowstorm. This town is filled with passionate ponies dedicated to growing the town they love. From such humble origins, it’s been a pleasure to watch this town grow from the ground up. It broke my heart to see this town struggle so during the last couple of years, but I can promise you that after we win, Ponyville and all those other farming communities will be the first towns we help. So don’t worry Ponyvillians. You’re Princess hasn’t forgotten you.”

“Thank you Celestia. I’m sure everypony listening will be delighted to hear that.”

“As they should.”

“Well Celestia, would you like to leave it off with that?”

“Oh, I would love to stay, but I’m very busy today. I have to raise the sun, after all.”

“Of course, we all understand. Just thank you so much for doing the festival here, it means a lot to us.”

“Oh, it’s nothing. As I said, I do love this town deeply, and I wouldn’t want to bring back the festival anywhere else.”

“Well, thanks for coming here Princess. So, to all you listeners, I hoped you enjoyed this interview, because I know I certainly did! So go out there and stay up late to celebrate the one thousandth year since the vanquishment of Luna. Now we return to music with Down By The River by-“

“L-Luna?”

“Huh? I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that.”

“Luna. Y-you said Luna. W-where did you g-get that name?”

“What? Oh, I meant to say Nightmare Moon, I’m sure. I bet I just messed it up. I mean Luna is just another name for the moon, so easy mix-up really.

“...uh, Princess? Are you okay? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.”

“...she was so young, so innocent. She looked up to me like a sister, and I loved her.”

“I’m sorry?”

“It just had to go after her. It had to. And what was I to do? I didn’t know it’s power, I didn’t know what it would do.”

“Uh, Princess? I’m sorry if I upset you, but can you stop talking like this? It’s scaring me.”

“Why don’t you forgive me? I’ve done so much for you. Please, it was just an accident. I did not know it’s power. After all I’ve done for you… I am sorry! You must believe me! … but you still don’t? It was an accident, I did not know it’s power.”

“Pr-Princess? Why are you talking to the wall.”

“I LOVE YOU! I MISS YOU SO MUCH! IVE DONE ALL THIS FOR YOU,JUST FORGIVE ME!”

“Okay, that’s it. Shut off the broadcast. NOW! Hey Princess, it’s alright. Just calm down and- OW, shit! Shes thrashing. Somepony help me with her… DONT JUST STAND THERE! HELP ME!”

“ALL OF THIS FOR YOU. I LOVE YOU SISTER, I LOVE YOU! I DID NOT KNOW ITS POWER, PLEASE! ...WHY WON’T YOU FORGIVE ME?”

“Shit, she’s using magic. Hold her down, don’t let her fire!”

“ET ESSENT INNOCENTES! OCULOS SIMILES SIDERIBUS! NON OPUS EST TIBI UT MORIATUR!"

“WHY ARE YOU STILL BEHIND THE GLASS? TURN THE DAMN BROADCAST OFF! ANYTHING BUT THIS! GET THIS OFF THE AIR! NOW! SHUT IT O-“

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“Hello everypony! My name is Carrot Top, and I’m just a simple carrot farmer in Ponyville looking to sell only the best food that we have to offer. All of our products are handmade, and are filled with our special ingredient: love! Try our new Carrot Bread for a snack, or buy out naturally grown, delicious carrots that will get the whole family smiling at dinner! So come to our local stores and taste the best thing in Equestria!”

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Down by the river

Under the bridge

And then I saw her

She spoke to me

And now I yell

And now I scream

She’ll never know

What I know

That blue maned filly

Comments

[Smakleapp]

“Well, thanks for coming here Princess. So, to all you listeners, I hoped you enjoyed this interview, because I know I certainly did! So go out there and stay up late to celebrate the one thousandth year since the vanquishment of Luna. Now we return to music with Down By The River by-“

That’s a whoopsie

[Pete100]

“I’m appalled that you would think I would consider anything a ‘personal victory.’ Everything I do I do for the benefit of Equestria and for the world, not for some personal validation. Nightmare Moon was a threat to Equestria, so I had to do what had to be done. I was not aware I would be attacked for my past actions when I agreed to this interview. What you are doing is strictly unprofessional. I coul-“

Celestia needs to chill.

“Oh, I must say the close community this town has. You don’t find many collective communities in the big cities like Manehattan, and Cloudsdale and all of those Pegasus cities focus so much on military fighting. But here, it’s so peaceful, like a nice fire during a snowstorm. This town is filled with passionate ponies dedicated to growing the town they love. From such humble origins, it’s been a pleasure to watch this town grow from the ground up. It broke my heart to see this town struggle so during the last couple of years, but I can promise you that after we win, Ponyville and all those other farming communities will be the first towns we help. So don’t worry Ponyvillians. You’re Princess hasn’t forgotten you.”

Why would farming communities need help?

“Why don’t you forgive me? I’ve done so much for you. Please, it was just an accident. I did not know it’s power. After all I’ve done for you… I am sorry! You must believe me! … but you still don’t? It was an accident, I did not know it’s power.”

Is she ok?

“ALL OF THIS FOR YOU. I LOVE YOU SISTER, I LOVE YOU! I DID NOT KNOW ITS POWER, PLEASE! ...WHY WON’T YOU FORGIVE ME?”

What the hell is going on?

“ET DUXIG ME AD LACRIMIS QUIA EST INNOCENTIA, EST PIGNUS SAEVUS IN MUNDUM. NON MERENTUR, UT MORIATER!”

What did she just say?