Ponyville Local News 001
The Ponyville Local Radio is sponsored by Pinkie’s Gum! Now in Very Berry flavor. Buy your Pinkie Gum today, and enter a world of flavor!
“Hellllllloooooooooo Ponvillians! This is DJ-Pon3 coming at you live with the first ever broadcast of the Ponyville Local News at the top of the hour, your news source for all things Ponyville! Now before we get into some local news, we have a very big announcement for you all! Equestrian Government has publicly announced that the Griffon War should end soon, and it looks like we’ll be pulling out with a victory! My fellow Ponvillians, I can’t tell you how happy I am to hear these news! Not two years ago was Ponyville in poverty, it’s ponies left starving and weak. However, conditions have slowly been rising as we took the winning position in the war, and now it looks like we’ll return to full normalcy soon. I, for one, can’t wait until we have those bastards heads on display in Canterlot and Ponyville is back in all it’s glory!
“Now time to get into the heart of this broadcast! We’ve got some very special coverage for you fine listeners today, including a very special guest. You may have seen a certain purple unicorn and baby dragon walking the streets of Ponyville yesterday afternoon. Well, her name is Twilight Sparkle, and she’s here from Canterlot for some important royal business. Well explore the specifics in our interview, so stay tuned in! For now, here’s some news.
“Applejack of Sweet Apple Acres has once again helped out our small town with a big donation. This time, she donated nearly a thousand bits for repairs to the Golden Oaks Library after its recent burning. She has also helmed a recent charity encouraging residents to donate books for the library, and from what we here at the station heard, they're nearly at their goal! So, once again Applejack, thank you for everything you’ve done for our town.
“In other news, a mare by the name of Berry Punch has been arrested for drunkenly striking and nearly killing a 17 year old filly. Witnesses claim the filly was only asking directions to the Town Hall before Miss Punch flew into a blinding rage. Her trial will be held next week.
“And now a brief message from our local police.”
“A small Pegasus filly has run away from her parents in Cloudsdale and is hiding out in Ponyville. She is purple maned with an orange coat and purple eyes. Her name is Scootaloo, but it is entirely possible she is under a different alias. Please report to your nearest police precinct if you have spotted this filly.” Her parents miss her dearly.
“Now we have a very interesting story for you today, folks. One that’s slightly more uplifting than the previous news. Homeless ponies on the streets of Ponyville are taking refuge on the edge of the Everfree Forest. So far, this is completely legal, but Town Hall is looking to prohibit all property not owned or regulated by the local government. We sent in our new reporter Time Turner to investigate these bizarre communities and see how the discussions in the Town Hall are affecting the homeless already.
“As one homeless mare stated: ‘Living here isn’t so bad, really. These lands are home to no pony but the animals, so we’re not trespassing or anything. We all think that'll come to pass soon. We aren’t doing anything wrong.’
“Wise words for the town hall to consider. Oh, and a warning to all you Ponyvillians. There have been several accounts of dark hooded figures knocking on ponies doors and asking for money. I can’t believe I have to say this, but please do not listen to them. Where they are from, nopony knows, and it isn’t your business to know. There have also been accounts of violent break-ins around an hour after refusal of donations, so please immediately call the police and lock all your doors and windows to keep safe. Thank you for listening.
“It’s time for a quick word from our sponsor.”
“Hello every pony! This is Pinkie Pie here to sell you my gum, Pinkies Gum! Really simple right? In every stick of gum, you get the maximum amount of flavor that others on the market simply can’t compete with. And, in every packet, you get a free mini-comic book to read with your friends! So try Pinkies Gum today. I’m sure you’ll have a blast, hee-hee!”
“Yeah yeah, dinner is fine at five. Yes, I’ll be there. Alright, I love you… no, I love you… no, I lo-
“Wha? Oh shit! I have to call you back. Love you. *Eherm.* Sorry about that, I guess I lost track of the ad there. But hey, we all make mistakes, right? It just proves that I’m just as ponish as all of you are.
“Now one final piece of news is the local movement here in Ponyville that’s centered on a ban on Diamond Dog-centered labor mines. They claim Diamond Dogs are treated poorly, and shouldn’t be “held captive”. This movement is growing increasingly popular, especially after the recent Griffon Massacre against a local Diamond Dog community near Griffonstone. It’s actually gaining interest in Canterlot now, so we’ll see if this gets serious at all.
“But I don't know about this one. Diamond Dogs are our main source of labor. And when we take them away… what happens then? Do we just lose our ammunition for the war? We have those dogs there for a reason, and they don’t know any better. But hey, let’s see if they can change my mind. Highly doubt it though
“And that concludes our news segment! So now the moment you’ve all been waiting for, we have Miss Twilight Sparkle sitting right next to me. Now Twilight, how have you been today?”
I’ve been, uh, pretty good. T-thanks for asking”
“Aww, no problem girl! How do you like your stay here in Ponyville?”
“Oh! It-it’s great here.”
“Glad to hear it. So, we all have a question here that needs to get answered. What are you doing here, exactly?”
“Well, I come from Canterlot, and I was personally sent here by the Princess herself to supervise the upcoming Summer Sun Celebration and to stay here to write reports about the, uh, th-the town. To, uh, make sure everything’s f-fine.”
“Are you suggesting there’s something wrong going on here?”
“What? No, no I’m not! I w-would nev-”
“Jeez, calm down girl. I’m just playing with you. You’ve been shaking since you got here. What gives?”
“S-sorry. I just… don’t speak like this often. Publicly, I mean.”
“Ah, okay then. So anyways, you sound great to me. But I must ask: how the hell did you get that baby dragon?”
“Who, Spike?”
“If that’s his name.”
“Oh uh, I got him when I was a filly. Actually kinda a long story there.”
“Well, we have a time limit, so I think we’ll be satisfied with that for now. Besides, I want to ask you-”
“Actually, if you don’t mind, can I ask you a question?”
“Well shoot! I’m all ears!”
“I’ve heard talk that there’s this, well, this castle in the Everfree Forest. Well, it sounds really interesting, and I was wondering, if it wouldn’t be too much trouble, if I could just go and check it out.”
“...”
“Oh, oh I-I’m sorry. I-I didn’t know anything, I s-swear! I heard it from somepony at Sugarcube Corner. Oh shoot, I can’t remember her! But I swear, I don't know anything!”
“...”
“W-why are you staring at me like that? I said I’m sorry!”
operibus pietatis discipulum a secreto noctis
“Wha-what?”
“Well that’s all the time we have for today! I know we all have so many more questions we want to ask, but I’m afraid we'll have to ask them later.”
“I-I’m sorry if I-”
“So Twilight, I’d recommend you make the most out of your time in Ponyville. And I can assure you, our Summer Sun Celebration will blow your mind.”
“O-okay.”
“So now we return with non-stop music to make your day a little more exciting. Long live Equestria everypony. Here’s “It’s Over But Still” by The Black Stains. Enjoy.”
I know it’s all over, but still I’m crying
And I’m the only one here
You all know that I’m trying
To forget how much I care
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WTF sums all of this up. Not sure if it's for the better though. Cults tend to do that. And another random griffon war.
Seriously. There's a trillion stories that have that (not literally that many. But still). Story focus or not.
Feels like you where trying to go for a Welcome to Night Vale vibe and kind of missed the mark.
What's the horror tag for?
10807231
I mean, I guess it’s not in the traditional sense of horror, but I’m trying to make the whole thing eerie and seem off. Not sure if it worked or not, but that was the intention.
I’m so confused on a lot of things.
10808146
Well, is there anything specific you’d like me to clear up? Veering away from spoilers, of course.
10808289
Well, what season does this take place in?
10808481
It takes place at the beginning of season 1
10808504
Ok, another question I have is where did applejack get all those bits from?
10808550
Alright, so in a time of war, food became scarce in small towns like Ponyville. So farmers like Applejack became nearly the sole contributors of food, and is also considered a town hero.
10808656
Ok, another question I have is about that language that was spoken.
10808678
Alright, so that was Latin, and you could easily put it in Google Translate. But to save you time, I’ll put the phrase here: The disciples work in piety secretly in the night
10808750
Who were they whispering to?
10808774
Oh, DJ-Pon3 was just muttering to herself, Twilight just happened to hear it.
10808800
Is it something important?
10808845
Yeah, I think it is. It basically hints that there is something much darker going on in the town.
10808889
Oh ok. Thanks for answering the questions.