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Enjoying a coffee in every South Jersey diner simultaneously


Shining Armor has some bad news for Twilight.

There have to be more awful things than this... right?

Written as part of a Quills and Sofas panic fiction! This fic was written in 30 minutes, and has been through only minor grammatical edits. The prompt was 'awful fanfics' which I... may or may not have misunderstood.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 21 )


That cuts deep for something done so fast.

Excellent work. Short and to the point, nothing wasted.

:twilightoops: Flurry did WHAT?

:facehoof: Fusion . . . Two heads eight legs One body . . . :moustache:A Flamingo Spider? :duck: Tacky Spikey dear but accurate

Nice snapshot, very charged.

Shining, I can't help but feel that this is a tactical error. Did you at least discuss it with Cadance? Are you certain that there is no means by which the discrepancy in lifespans might be rectified? Your little sister is basically Magic incarnate, I'm sure she would be more than happy to at least research it. Or heck, why not consult with Celestia and Luna? There's no way Sunbutt ruled for over a thousand years and never once had a lasting relationship with a mortal.

Did Shining not realize this before he married her? :facehoof:

I'm not feeling a whole lot of sympathy for Shining, unfortunately.

We have no idea what Cadance's side of the story is, and Shining's stated reason for the divorce doesn't inspire a whole lot of confidence in him.

“Alicorns have certain life expectancies that others… don’t.”

This should be an obvious trait from the get go, so why is it suddenly a problem for their relationship? :trixieshiftright:

“Cadance doesn’t deserve--” His voice broke, and he struggled to keep himself together.

He straightened up, looking only at the wall ahead of him. “One day, you’re going to have to make a choice,” he said. “Cadance wouldn’t make it, so… I made it for her.”

So... he doesn't respect Cadance enough to let her decide whether she's okay with the grief that will follow after his inevitable death? Without more context, this looks like an excuse rather than some noble sacrifice. :unsuresweetie:

“Can I ask you a favor?” Shining asked.
“A-anything,” Twilight answered.
“Don’t force your true love to make this choice.”

In relation to everything that he'd said earlier, what exactly is he asking Twilight to do?

Never get married? Divorce her mortal husband before he dies? Divorce her husband before he's forced to do it first to spare her the grief of his imminent death?

This reads like a really shallow exploration of immortality angst. Barely anything to connect with, aside from the basic premise that divorce is sad and unpleasant.

The prompt was 'awful fanfics' which I... may or may not have misunderstood.

Then again, maybe that was your goal, so... mission accomplished, I guess? :twilightoops:

If that's the case, then I'm really curious about whether the upvotes are about your success at writing an awful fanfic or whether folks think it is genuinely amazing... :derpyderp1:

personally i feel like shining using the lifespan difference as an excuse to not acknowledge the real reason the marriage failed here, if you truly love someone you spend every moment as if it was your last regardless of how long each partner got to live, it feel selfish the way it portrayed here

Zuabug #9 · May 5th, 2021 · · 8 ·

Sometimes truly loving someone is sparing them devastation and heartache for a lifetime. To love someone as if it's your last day together gets exhausting and depressing, too.


I’ll be honest, the line in the description about “awful fanfics” combined with reading 10801991’s comment before jumping into the fic gave me a very misleading impression of what this was about. Namely that Twiley was being ribbed over writing an awful fanfic. :twilightblush:

Agree with the points 10802346 makes, though again given that line in the description, I’m guessing Shining’s terrible reasoning is done intentionally. For what it is, this was well written and engaging, especially for something so short.

“Grown-ups don’t tend to call themselves ‘grown-ups’, y’know.”

Speak for yourself, Shiny. :twilightsmile:

The emotions in this story are so deep and the whole setting is so well done! To think, ya wrote this spectacular in only a half of an hour, so anything with more time would be overwhelmingly brilliant! Oh man, everything about this is amazing, and I hope ya didn't mind that I made a lil' reading of this fic of yours!

Audio Linky!: https://youtu.be/OvW1UvB0M3w

(I don't mean to offend anyone with this comment in any way!)

Wow, thank you so much! I'm excited to listen to it when it drops! :twilightsmile:

Oof this was hard and not expected at all, but it makes sense if you follow the idea of an alicorn being...well ageless

An interesting concept for a story and I could feel Shining's sorrow right there in the end. This is something he clearing doesn't want to do but feels like its the right thing. I would love to get a bit more info on the situation, like Candace's side of things, why the sudden immortality thing has only now just come up. But as is the story still hits well enough to get the emotion of the short story across.

Very nice story. Shining's reasoning is kinda dumb, though. Now Cadance has to lose her first great love prematurely and have that insecurity lingering with every new love in the future. Nice job breaking it, hero.

“Friends-- friends don’t get married!” Twilight argued. “They don’t agree to be friends forever! <SNIP>

This, I feel, is a valid point. Marriage is supposed to be "until death do us part" and when it isn't, at least one of the two people is sinning greatly, and may have been foolish to an equally great measure to ever have entered into it.

As a much more minor point, I think it an error that "spouse material" is not a strict subset of "excellent friend material" in our society. I MIGHT be willing to make a exception for societies where marriage was a matter of alliance and/or survival (but I think those are mostly to entirely past in this currently age?), but not for the idea that Twilight isn't wrong her (in her defense she is under a lot of stress, and thus might not be being so hair-splittingly accurate). The point is that ONLY great friends should marry. If they stop being deep friends... well, that happens, but it is their responsibility to find a way to become such friends again if only by giving it time. Certainly the depths of romance are a bit cyclical in most marriages from what I hear.

“Don’t force your true love to make this choice.”

... and then the ending of the story completely changes the context!
At least if I understand correctly, and Shining is doing this out of (horribly misguided) Love for Cadance.
I still disagree, and prefer this interpretation.
If what Shining was doing was right, then the same would apply to, say, Carrot Cake if he discovered he had terminal cancer the year after Pound and Pumpkin moved out.

I didn't much care for it. I see the intent, but the unfortunate result is that Shining doesn't come off for me as sympathetic, but as self-serving: He's not doing this to spare Cadence from making a difficult decision, but to spare himself from the guilt he's feeling about something that he should have been fully aware of going into this. He's taking something that should be about everyone, or at least about him and his wife and his daughter, and making it just about him. The end result is that instead of feeling affinity for him, many of us end up feeling alienated from him, and we cannot relate.

:twilightangry2: Damn you bugs - You did it - You finally did it!
:duck: The Queen stole him away! How romantic
:moustache: From Princess to Queen... Sounds more like a promotion with more bennies
:raritystarry: Take me Spikey take me now!
:moustache: Now? Where?
:facehoof: Get me a bug zapper ...

That was.... quite the story
By the way, I've seen that picture on here before but I could never find out the name of the artist. Could you please tell me if you know and where you got it?

Extremely cutting and emotionally charged. There's a strong sense of realism here regarding the subject of divorce and family relationships as a whole, but also a good nod to the differing, very setting-specific problems faced by the characters here. The end is a stellar way to kick the audience while we're already down from the gut-punch premise. The "advice" that Shining gives Twilight at the end is when he goes from the big brother having to deliver hard news to showing how skewed and messy things really are.

Regarding the folks who were asking why the immortality issue didn't come up sooner. I'm entirely sure it did. Age likely just made the issue feel more pressing and real than when Cady and Shiny were newlyweds. That, or it never went away from the start, and the slow stew of it in Shining's mind (because we don't see Cadance's) has finally come to boil.

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