• Published 4th May 2021
  • 961 Views, 65 Comments

A Secret Admirer 3: Spike's Sacrifice (AU) - 1jckuhn

A version of Spike's Sacrifice if the events of "A Secret Admirer" played out.

  • ...

Chapter 5: Comforting Smolder


Smolder was curled up on her bed, buried under a mountain of covers and depression. The destroyed teen felt like throwing up after another three hours of non-stop crying. Sobbing over Spike really made her weak-kneed and she couldn't get the nauseating scene of seeing her boyfriend's destroyed body out of her head. On nights she did manage to cry herself to sleep, she'd usually wake up less than three hours later hearing Spike screaming for her to save him, only to realize, night after night, that the Dragon she, as well as 11 other girls, loved more than anything, was dead. Unfairly taken. Gone forever. All for what? Because help, including her, was just a little too slow to show up and rescue him. Even if Smolder couldn't have saved him, she could've at least seen him one last time to say goodbye to him as well on that fateful day. She did get a tiny bit of closure giving her speech at his funeral, but it seemed like any amount of pain she felt far outweighed any comfort. She knew the others were probably just as emotionally crushed as she was. That made her sadness and pain increase ten-fold because she could do nothing to comfort them, or herself for that matter, and try to move on with this horiffic tragedy.

"Why? Why Spike?" she whispered through teary eyes and a hoarse voice. "He didn't deserve this. He was the best soul in this whole world and fate repays him like this."

She heard a knock at the front door.

"Who is it?" she asked with a big sniffle.

"Smolder," called a voice whom Smolder immediatly recognised as Garble. "Open up. We need to talk."

Smolder blew her nose and wiped her eyes before slowly, but surely, made it to the front door and opened it.


Garble didn't know why his sister wasn't answering. He was about to open his mouth again to speak when the door slowly creaked open, revealing a very saddened Smolder. The others couldn't help but look shocked when they got a good look at her. Smolder's eyes were red-rimmed, puffy, and they had datk bags under them. She was leaning against the door jamb because she couldn't even stand up straight. The non-stop crying really took a lot out of her. Her usually vibrant, icy blue irises seemed to have faded. She looked like she was about to cry again.

"My god! Smolder!" Gallus exclaimed looking at his depressed friend. "You look horrible!"

Garble shot him a glare.

"She doesn't need that, Gallus!" he said through clenched teeth.

Gallus realized what he said and blushed with embarrasment.

"Oops," he said sheepishly. "Sorry."

"Anyway," grumbled Garble turning back to face Smolder. "Can we come in, please?"

"Sure," said Smolder with a sigh. "Just a heads up, it's a real mess in here."

Smolder flicked on the lights and slowly trudged back to her bed and sat down. The others stepped inside and were greeted with the new look of Smolder's room.

A "real mess" was an understatement of what her room looked like. Empty tubs of ice cream, used tissues, and wrappers from cupcakes and hard candy were scattered all over the place. The blankets on her bed were in dissarray and soaked in tears. Smolder's pillow case and upper bedsheets were also soaked thoroughly in her tears. Smolder did have a trash can, but it was already over flowing with empty ice cream cartons, used tissues, and cupcake and candy wrappers.

After a solid minute of silence, Smolder broke the ice and spoke up.

"What are you all here for?" she asked.

"We're here to help get you out of your slump. We know you're mourning, but you can't keep this up forever," Rarity said.

Smolder immediatly teared up again. She had silently prayed that they weren't here to discuss how she was taking Spike's death. Sadly, it seemed that prayer had fallen on deaf ears.

"There's an explanation for that," Smolder said as a tear hit the ground. "I suffer from severe depression. I have so ever since I was really little. I usually act tomboyish around others, but that's just to ward them off so they don't find out about my dark secret. In fact, the only reason I didn't want to come here was because I felt like I'd be a downer at every event here. However, I soon found my place here and I was able to, for the most part, keep my depression at bay. Maybe a sad or bad thought here and there. I'd usually take a couple of sick days and get over it on my own. Then, I fell in love with Spike. Through that whole ordeal, I was torn 50-50. One half of me was excited because Spike was the first boy I was ever really serious about. The other half was worried what he'd think of me if he found out I had depression.

Smolder began to tear up again and it was becomong more of a challenge to keep her composture.

"After that hospital visit and we became more than friends, I found myself becoming more and more happier with each passing day being on a relationship with Spike," Smolder continued, her voice shaky. "I-I think after about two weeks, I ditched my meds altogether and I never had another day when I was feeling even slightly sad. For the next two-and-a-half months, I was on top of the world. I honestly thought it was smooth sailing from here on out."

Smolder gritted her teeth and clamped her eyes shut as the tears brimming in her eyes began to roll down her cheeks.

"T-Th-Then, th-this h-happened, a-and I can't comprehend it," Smolder whimpered. "It isn't fair at all. S-Spike was th-the sweetest soul in the world, and fate repays him like this. The only question I have is, "Why?". Spike has never done anything bad to anyone or anything, and yet he had to lose his life. Then, to top it all off, help, including me, missed our chance to save him by no more than three minutes. Even if we couldn't have saved him, I, at least, wanted to say goodbye to him with the others."

The others flocked to the crying, orange dragon that was curled into a ball on her tear-soaked bed and wrapped her in a cuddle puddle as Smolder choked out her next couple sentences.

"I know he used his last breath to tell us that we were loved, but it's honestly no help for me," Smolder began to full on sob. "I-I w-w-was l-looking f-forward growing up with Spike and the rest of you! I was looking forward to finally be rid of my depression for good! I was looking forward to seeing all Dragons becoming perminant allies with the ponies!"

Everyone was shocked at Smolder's revelation. They knew she was torn up because of Spike's death, but they, not even Garble, had never thought her pain had run this deep. Even Fluttershy was at a loss for words.

"To top it all off," Smolder continued, trying her best not to go into another breakdown. "I don't know I can help any of you move past this event. I know I probably need the most guidance out of everyone here, but I feel like I can't move on from this until I'm sure you all move on."

The second she finished her reasoning, Smolder broke down again and began to cry probably the hardest she had ever done so in her life. She did this for about a solid twenty minutes before finally drifting off to sleep. It seemed the long hours of crying hysterically had finally pushed her off into dreamland once more. Although he was glad to see his sister away from any pain, Garble was both scared and frustrated because the hadn't gotten anywhere with helping Smolder out of her slump. He knew he had to take more drastic measures, because Smolder's life may have depended on it. He teared up remembering a time two years ago when he had heard about a dragon that had suffered from depression just like Smolder and eventually it had become to much for him to handle. He was pulled away from his thoughts when a soft hoof was placed on her shoulder. He looked to see who it was and found out it was none other than Fluttershy.

"I'm sorry, Garble," she whispered. "I didn't know it was this bad."

"It's not your fault," Garble sighed. "I should've kept a more watchful eye on her. I just ran out of my usual options and I let that get in the way rather than trying new things to make her happy."

The others, very carefully, removed themselves from the cuddle puddle. Garble didn't. He didn't want to leave Smolder to wallow in her misery alone any longer.

Fluttershy wracked her brain for a solution, any solution, that would find a way to cheer poor Smolder up and keep her happy. She began to analyze every sentence that Smolder had said. Then, one sentence, in particular, caught her attention.

"I don't know I can help any of you move past this event. I know I probably need the most guidance out of everyone here, but I feel like I can't move on from this until I'm sure you all move on."

The sentence replayed in Fluttershy's mind over and over again. As it did so, FLutterhy's mouth slowly began to turn into a smile. She now knew exactly what to say to Smolder. Now, however, was not the time to tell her. It was clear she needed rest, but before she left Garble and Smolder behind, Fluttershy wanted to say one last thing.

"Don't worry, Garble," she whispered into his ear. "I now know exactly what to say to Smolder. It seems that she's been crying for at least six hours and she needs rest. Please keep an eye on her and notify me if she does wake up so I may talk to her.

"Noted," Garble said. "Thanks, Fluttershy."

"You're welcome," Fluttershy whispered and walked out, leaving Garble and Smolder alone.


Smolder let out a yawn as she woke up to find Garble clutching her tightly in bed. The second he saw his sister awake Garble felt a wave of relief wash over him, knowing that today was the day the Smolder would hopefully be pulled out of her depression. The exhausted, orange Dragon had been asleep for a solid 19 ours without waking up once. It seemed the nightmares had decided to take the night off. Garble stuck with her through every second of it. He was bored, but didn't care. He didn't want to leave his sister to suffer with her resurfaced depression alone for another second. The only time he left her side was to use the bathroom or grab something to eat.

"Hey, Smolder," he said quietly to the groggy, orange Dragon. "Whenever you're ready, I want you to see Fluttershy. She told me to tell you that she has something that she wants to say to you."

Garble avoided the subject that Fluttershy wanted to talk to Smolder about. The last thing he wanted was to remind her of why he was even there with her on her bed to begin with, but it seemed Smolder already figured out what was going on.

"It's about Spike's death, isn't it?" she asked.

Garble gulped. He knew there was no point in lying to her.

"Yeah," he sighed.

"Well," Smolder said as she got up and stretched. "Might as well find her and see what she has to say."

"I'm coming with you," Garble said. "You've suffered with your depression alone long enough and I won't let you walk this journey of recovery in your own for another second."

Smolder teared up with pride. She jumped up and wrapped him in hug.

"Thanks, Gar-Gar," she whispered.

"Anytime, Smolder," Garble said as he patted his little sister's back, feeling another wave of relief wash over him at seeing her smile again. "Now, then, let's go see Fluttershy. Hopefully, she gets you out of this."

With that said, the two Dragons freshened up and flew to the castle of friendship to start off in search of the cream-colored Pegasus. They soon ran into her in the castle's dining room, She was having breakfast. When she saw Smolder, Fluttershy's expression instantly brightened.

"Good morning, Smolder, Garble," she said.

"Good morning, Fluttershy," Smolder said before wiping a tear away from her eyes. "I hear that you want to talk to me about Spike?"

Fluttershy felt a bit sorry seeing Smolder like this.

"Yes, Smolder," she replied. "After breakfast, I would kindly request that you and Garble come to my bedroom."

"Okay," Smolder said quietly.

"In the meantime, though," Fluttershy said. "Why don't I stay for your breakfast? You both look like you could use the extra company."

"Really? Thanks, Fluttershy," Smolder said in a tone almost inaudible while flashing her a small, sad smile.

"You're very welcome," Fluttershy said, wrapping Smolder in a hug.

With that said, the two Dragons were each given a bowl of gems, generously provided by Fluttershy and Rarity, and enjoyed looking at the clear, blue sky of the morning.


Smolder gulped as Garble and she walked to Fluttershy's bedroom. Fluttershy had walked up just a couple minutes before them both to prepare her bedroom for them both.

They knocked on the door.

"Enter," came a voice on the other side.

Garble and Smolder opened the door to find Flutershy sitting at the end of a large couch. She smiled warmly at both of them.

"Please take a seat," she said patting the cushion next to her.

Garble and Smolder did just what she said. Smolder sat in the middle of the couch, next to Fluttershy, and Garble sat on the outside.

"Alright," Fluttershy started. "It's come to my attention that you've had a harder time coping with Spike's death than the rest of us."

"That's a vast understatment," Smolder said as she looked down at the floor and sniffled. "I loved him more than anything and now he's gone."

Another large, single tear rolled down her cheek and fell onto the floor. Fluttershy could've sworn it took the shape of two halves of a heart. There was about a half centimeter gap between the two halves. Each half had a jagged edge where the two said halves would've connected to make a whole heart. Fluttershy and Garble both couldn't help but feel more sorry than before for the downtrodden, heartbroken Dragon. Fluttershy placed her hoof under Smolder's chin to pull her head up and she looked her right in the eye.

"I know you're sad, Smolder," Fluttershy said. "But there is something that you don't know. Spike is still here."

Smolder became confused.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"What is mean is Spike may not be here physically, but he resides right here," Fluttershy explained, placing a hoof on the left side of Smolder's chest, directly above her heart. "He resides in the same place inside me. Another thing you should know is that you have a piece of Spike's spirit inside of you. Everyone who knows has a part of him big or small residing in him, whether they want to believe that or not. You expressed that fact during your tearful confession to us yesterday."

Smolder was still confused.

"How?" she asked.

"Do yo remember how you told us how you feel like you can't start to move on until you know that the rest of us can move on?" Fluttershy questioned.

"Uh, yeah," Smolder said, unsure of where this would go.

"That's something that Spike would've wanted for us if one of us died," Fluttershy explained.

Smolder became shocked before going deep into thought. She began to process all that Fluttershy had said to her. There were six minutes of dead silence as Smolder digested her thoughts. Afterward, she looked at Flutershy with a warm smile and wrapped her in a hug. She was crying again, but it was of happiness this time.

"You're right, Fluttershy," she whispered. "I do have a part of Spike's spirit inside me. I just needed to see it for myself. Thank you."

"You're welcome, Smolder," Fluttershy whispered back.

Garble also joined in the group hug. The feeling of his happiness was indescribable at seeing his sister going back to her normal self. For a solid three minutes, the two Dragons and Pegasus just hugged each other and didn't say a word. Both Fluttershy and Smolder knew that, with each other's help and lessons from Spike during the short time they were a part of his harem, they could help each other move past this tragic event. When they broke away, Fluttershy spoke up again.

"If you ever feel lost again as you cope, I'll be more than happy to direct you back on the path of recovery," she said.

"Thanks, Fluttershy," Smolder said.

Garble wrapped Fluttershy in another tight hug.

"Thank you for helping my sister," he said. "You don't know how much this means to me."

"Anytime, Garble," Fluttershy replied. "Anytime."

After breaking away, Fluttershy spoke up again.

"I'm heading out on a walk. Would you two care to join me?"

"Yes, please," said the two dragons simultaneously.

Fluttershy chuckled.

"Very well, then," she smiled. "Come on."

With that said, the three creatures headed out of Fluttershy's bedroom and outside. They all knew that there would, hopefully, be no more sad days for any of them as they continued their journey on the road to recovery.