The Irish Man

by The Irish Brony

Strangely Fabulous

I stood there, frozen in fear, as I felt the tip of a feather graze my nose. The skin being barely cut. The blue streak landed on the ground, pushing up a lot of dirt and dust. I slowly reach my hand up and touch my nose, and look at my hand. There was a streak of blood on my finger. I look over to the object to see what hit me.

Standing low to the ground was a bright blue, almost cyan pegasus mare. She was breathing hard with an angry but also kind of worried glare at me with a mix of surprise. We locked eyes, those eyes peered deep into my soul. I felt like if I said the wrong thing I would be pummeled to the ground. My eyes widen as I realize she was the pegasus I was looking at this morning in the journal. Rainbow Dash, the fastest flyer in the world. What finally broke the silence was the loud voice of Princess Twilight Sparkle.

“RAINBOW DASH! WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING!?” Twilight yells at Dash as she walks towards her friend.

“Why would you be walking around with him like he's your pet!” Dash yells back. "He could be dangerous!"

“You could have killed him!” Twilight responds, yelling less. Dash’s eyes shrunk as her ears flop down as the information sinks in.

“Twilight’s right, if I didn’t move, I would be a red blood mark on the ground,” I think to myself as Dash attempts to argue back.

“But..but..” Is all that escaped the flustered Rainbow before Twilight shushed her.

“You need to slowly down,” Twilight says. Dash scoffs and rolls her eyes.

“Ok egghead, Like you would have done any different,”

"In fact, I would," Twilight says, puffing her chest out in pride. "I would talk to him before trying to fight him,"

What the hell is going on?” I think to myself as I watch them argue with each other. After a few seconds I snap out of my trance and ask, “What the hell is going on?”

Dash turns to me looking offended. “I was trying to protecting my friend from you,”

“Rainbow, he’s not dangerous,” Twilight says for the tenth time.

“He still could be!” Dash yells back at her. “For all we know he could be playing nice till he mind controls us to do whatever he wants to do!” Dash pauses to take a breath. "We don't know his intentions!"

"Dam, that mare has a big mouth," I thought as Dash rambles on about a hundred different things I could do right in front of me.

“Rainbow Dash!" Twilight yells, finally getting the full attention of the pegasus. "Yes, you are right, but for now all we can do is trust him as we do to every other pony," Twilight says calmly and looking over at me. "I don’t even think you can do magic,” Twilight says, looking at me for confirmation.

“As far as I know, I can’t,” I responded. "I'll have to try to do magic later to see if I really can't in this world,"

“See, now apologies to him,” Twilight states sternly.

“You're not my mother,” Dash retorts, as she flies up to eye level with me. “I'm sorry for almost flattening you like a hay cake,” Dash says grumpily as she extends her hoof put in front of me. I smile and fist bump her hoof, a sharp pain runs up my arm like knives as I immediately regret my decisions.

Before I can recover from the hoof bump Dash grabs my arm and pulls me in uncomfortably close to her and whispers in my ear. "I'm keeping my eye on you. You hurt any of my friends and I'll hurt you," She then let's go and lightly pushes off of me. Landing next to Twilight while still glaring at me.

"Ok.." Twilight says, visibly uncomfortable herself. "Know that's cleared up, introductions are in order. Brogan Even, meet Rainbow Dash," Rainbow's face softens to a smile, but the fire in her eyes never changed.

“Nice to finally meet your monkey, but I have to go, the clouds won’t clear themselves,” Dash says. She then flies straight up, leaving a trail of blue mixed with a rainbow behind her. The wind hits my face, almost knocking me to the ground. I follow her steaks as she flies towards Ponyville. We stand there in silence for a little while before Twilight speaks up.

“You're really getting a bad habit of staring at ponies asses,” Twilight says bluntly, but with a smirk.

“She was too fast, I couldn’t get a good look,” I say reflexively. My face then turns beet red as I realize my mistake. I facepalm as I speak, “For the love of Anna,” Twilight was getting a good laugh out of my embarrassment as she walked by me.

“Come on lover boy, we have more ponies to meet,” Twilight says, intentionally wiggling her butt. I roll my eyes at her antics as I follow her towards town.

---

Twilight and I walk into town. It was an old, rustic little town. The houses were made of wood with hay roofs. Ponies walk by us, doing their daily work. No pony seems to mind me as we walk through town. Some give me wired glances and menacing glares as they turn to a friend and start whispering to them. Other's just smile at me and nod as we pass them.

“Who do we have here?” a feminine high pitched voice says, standing on top of my head. I look up to see a pink face staring back at me with big blue eyes. “Oooo! Is this the new hoooman!?” She asks, jumping off of my shoulders and landing in front of me. She was an all pink earth pony with three balloons as a cutie mark.

Twilight rolls her eyes as she walks over to Pinkie. “Pinkie pie, this is Brogan Even,”

“Ooo.. Hello Brogan, I know you're new here because Twilight told me. You must be lonely, I guess that's why Twi is showing you around,” Twilight puts her hoof in Pinkie's mouth as she continues to talk, not realising the hoof in her mouth.

“Sorry about that,” Twilight says with a sincere smile. “She can talk really fast sometimes,” Twilight thinks for a second and corrects herself. “Actually she talks fast all the time,” I smile and chuckle.

“It’s ok Twilight,” I say, waving the apology away with my hand. I kneel down as Twilight removes her hoof from Pinkies mouth. She has finally stopped talking and is now just looking at me with the biggest smile I have ever seen. “It’s nice to meet you Pinkie,” I raise a hand out for her to shake.

She looks at my hand for a second then looks back up at me. She jumps at me and raps her hoof around my upper body. “It’s super duper nice to meet you too Brogan Even!” I sat there for a few seconds in shock from her hug. I smile and gently hug her back. Her fur against my skin was soft, but slightly sticky. I can’t put my finger on it, the stickiness doesn't feel like candy. I could be wrong.

“Thanks for the hug, Pinkie,” I say as we separate from the hug.

“I’m the best at hugs, you can ask any of my friends!” Pinkie says, hopping in place. “I’m also a great party pony,” She seems to have an epiphany as she somehow stops in mid air. “I should throw you a party so you have lots of friends,” Pinkie says, zipping away from us.

“Well, that was interesting,” I say, standing up.

“You’ll get used to it,” Twilight says, continuing to walk as I follow next to her.

“I highly doubt it, but ok,” I respond.

---

“Here we are, the carousel boutique,” Twilight says, stopping in front of a building designed after a carousel. There are even wooden horses on the roof in a circle around the center.

“Wow,” I say, looking over the beautiful decoration. “The building fits its name,” I say as I see Twilight walk to the door and open it. I follow behind her as I hear a little bell go off inside.

“Hello darling, how are you doing today?” a very feminen but very regal voice says as I walk into the store. The room was covered in pony manikins that show off diffraction dresses and suits. I looked over to where the voice was coming from. Standing by a manikin with half of a dress on it is a white unicorn with curly purple main and tail. On her cutie mark were three bright blue gems. She turns around and looks me in the eye with her magnificent blue eyes. “Oh, is this the human you told me about?”

“Yep,” Twilight responds as Rarity floats her sewing gear away, where it lands onto a nearby desk. “Rarity, Meet Brogan Even,” I walk over to her and kneel down. She smiles at me and closes her eyes as she extends her hoof.

“Am I really about to do this?” I think as I gently grab her hoof and kiss it. I let go of it and looked up at her. She giggles and says,

“Someone knows how to be a gentle colt,” Rarity says, looking at me.

“With a beautiful lady like yourself, you need respect,” I reply. “Did I really just say that?”
“Of course you did, are you stupid?!”
“Great, I’m still talking to myself,”
“I’m very charmed to meet you Brogan,” Rarity says as I stand up. She looks me over as her face turns into slight concern. “Where did you get those dreadful clothes?” Rarity says as she floats over some fabric, sewing equipment, and a tape measure.

I look down at my green shirt with basic blue jeans. “From my camping bag?” I say in slight confusion.

“Well, they might be good for camping,” Rarity says as she takes my measurement. “But they simply will not due if you're going to be living here, arms up please,” I raise my arms as I think over her statement.

“She is right, I do need clothes if I’m going to be here awhile,” I think to myself as the tape measure is replaced with a purple screen blocking my lower body from Twilight.

“Now take those clothes off,” Rarity says, more demanding than a request. “I must see how your clothes are made,” My heart stops for a second before I regain the ability to speak.

“Do I need to take my clothes off?” I say as my face turns slightly red.

“Of course,” Rarity says nonchalantly.

“It would also be a good time for me to see how your body is built!” Twilight says, a little too enthusiastic for my liking as she teleports in a quill and parchment.

“Umm.. I don’t,” I say as my face turns becomes very hot and turns beat red from embarrassment. “I don’t know how to say this but,” Both Twilight and Rarity’s eyes were on me. I swallow the lump in my throat and continue talking. “Humans have this… thing with cloths,”

“What thing?” Twilight is the first to ask. Looking up at me from the other side of the divider.

“Humans genitals are exposed, so we put clothes over top to..” I pause trying to think of a good word for it. “Protect?” I ask more than state. Twilight seems to think for a second as Rarity turns around.

“If you're that uncountable,” Rarity pauses and whispers. “I don’t know why you would,” Now in a much louder voice meant for me to hear. “I’ll look this way as you undress, then you can hand me the clothing,”

“That sounds good,” I then look over the divider to Twilight. “You stay over there,” I say, pointing at her. Her ears droop down as her lips pucker into a pout. I look at her as her eyes water up. I sigh to myself and think, “She’s doing the puppy dog eyes to get me to say yes,” I slide my hand against my face and through my hair as I respond. “Fine, you can look,”

“Really!” Twilight says, smiling and looking up at me. I nod my head yes as she writes something down.

“What are you writing down?” I ask as I slip my shirt off.

“Oh, this,” She says, looking at me from the paper. “I wrote down you are susceptible to the puppy dog face,”

“Oh,” I say as I take off my paints and hand them to Rarity. She floats them over to herself and looks them over. “Now make this quick,” I say as I pull down my underwear and slide it to Rarity.

“Dear me, you wear so much clothing,” Rarity whispers. “I love it!” She says enthusiastically. I roll my eyes as Twilight starts to walk around the divider.

“Just think of this as a physical check up,” Twilight says, stoping in front of me.

Comments

[SUPERETHAN2]

“You're not my mother,” Dash retorts, as she flies up to eye level with me. “I am sorry. I saved you, after all. What a repayment that would have been by flattening you like a hay cake,” Dash says extending her hoof. I smile and fist bump her hoof, a sharp pain runs up my arm like knives as I immediately regret my decisions.

Wait, Dash saved him and was still hostile towards him here in this fic. Wow, I didn't think that annoying HIE cliché could get any worse. Way to make it more contrived and forced.

[Amos Anon]

After a few seconds I snap out of my trans

Um... that could be taken the wrong way. Quite badly.

[The Irish Brony]

10984416
How? I am generally curious about how it could be taken the wrong way?