The Irish Man

by The Irish Brony

The Meeting With a Butterfly

Cold, or was it hot? It was both; I was cold at first, but then it got warm instantly. It was like I was taken out of my tent and thrust into the cold winter, then instantly placed in a sauna. I then felt cold, icy water against my skin. My back hits something hard. I think I am at the bottom of a lake. I try to move but nothing happens, I can’t even open my eyes.

I then feel something soft touch my arms. I think they were soft; I have a sensation of being lifted up. I feel the sun's heat against my skin as I’m pulled out of whatever I was in. I start to drift back to sleep as I’m carried away.

---

My eyes snap open as I sit up quickly. Without realizing it, I was sitting on a slightly smaller than normal couch. This caused me to fall off of it and land face-first into the hardwood ground.

I hear a quiet, high-pitched but very cute sounding squeak. I look up to see a little white bunny staring me in the face with anger unknown to most animals on earth. I get up and rest on my knees. The little bunny kicks me in the knee and hopes away in anger.

“Sorry about that,” I hear a soft and calm female voice. I turn to see a yellow pegasus with long pink hair. One of her eyes was covered by her hair. At first, it confused me, then it clicked in my head and I started to smile.

“It’s ok,” I say as I sit back onto the couch. I look around the room for the first time. The room I sit in seems to be the living room. The entirety of the house is made of wood. Behind Fluttershy are stars leading to a second floor. To the far left of that is an open doorway leading into a quaint little kitchen.

“O! You can talk?” She responds a little surprised. She backs up slightly and covers her face with her main.

“Ya?” I say, slightly confused. “Wait, how can she speak perfect English?” I think to myself. My thoughts are interrupted by her sweet voice.

“You are a... interesting creature, I’ve never seen you before,” Fluttershy says, looking at me with one of her eyes.

“I’m called a Human,” I say, sitting down on the ground. She takes a deep breath and takes a few steps towards me.

“Could I look at your claws?” She asks, raising a hoof and pointing at my hand. I smiled and extended my hand towards her.

“They’re called hands,” I say as she sits down and gently grabs my hand. She rubs her hoof along the palm of my hand and flinches slightly when I move my fingers out so she can get a better look.

While she studies my hand, I study her hoof. My hand rests on one of them while the other is touching my palm. I can feel the soft yellow fur against my skin, but there is also a soft spot, almost like a rubber ball. I try to think of what the underside of a hoof is called.

“Could I… Can I...” I try to think of a good way to ask my question. She looks up from my hand and tilts her head.

“What is it?” Her eyes widened. “Did I hurt you! I’m sorry!” She says, dropping my hand and sliding back into the chair behind her.

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong,” I quickly corrected her. She sighs and looks back at me. “I was going to ask if I could see your hoof, le do thoil,” Her face turns bright red as she covers her face with her mane.

“Ok, just be gentle with the sole,” She says as she gently places her hoof out in front of her.
“So that’s what it’s called,” I gently grab it and look at the sole. It looks like a normal horse's hoof, just a lot more colorful. I look up at her and smile, “Thanks, my name is Brogan Even,”

“My name is Fluttershy,”

“That's a beautiful name,” I respond.

“O! Um..” She seems to have slightly blushed again. “Thanks, your name is..” She scratches her chin in thought.

“Strange?” I say, helping her out. I get up and sit on the couch. She gets up and moves to the chair next to me.

“I wouldn’t say that,” Fluttershy responds.

I chuckle before responding. “It’s probably strange here as it’s strange back at home,” She tilts her head and raises an eyebrow. “In my world, there are many countries, the one I come from is Ireland, a small-ish island. My family moved to another country called the USA, where the name Brogan is as rare as Francium, We then moved back to Ireland shortly after my father's death,”

“I’m so sorry,” Fluttershy says, covering her mouth with her hoof.

“It’s ok, it was a long time ago,” I responded, waving my hand to dismiss the conversation.

“But I must ask, how is it strange when your name is as common as Francium?” Fluttershy asks. I look at her confusingly and then it dawns on me.

“Francium isn’t rare here?” I ask in slight shock. She shakes her head no. “Well, that was a terrible analogy,”

“What did you say earlier?” Fluttershy asks. I tilt my head in confusion. “You said le do thoel,” I smile and chuckle at her cute attempt at speaking Irish.

“That means please in Irish,” I explain.

“O, that makes sense,” We sit in silence for a few minutes. I look out the window to see a couple of blackbirds talking to each other. They fly off as Fluttershy speaks up. “Do you have any animals in your world?” she asks.

“Well, we have many types of bears, like Black, brown, and polar bears,”

“I have a brown bear at the sanctuary named Harry, He’s such a sweetie,”

“Bear’s have names?” I ask.

“Ya, all animals have names, don’t yours?” She asks, tilting her head to the side.

“No, unless you have them as a pet,” I respond. Fluttershy smiles and nodes. She seems to be getting more comfortable. “So, how about I ask things about your world, like what is the name of the planet?”

“I don’t know about the planet, but the country you are in is Equestria,” Fluttershy responds softly.

I can feel my stomach growl with hunger. I grasp my stomach while looking over at her. “Two questions, Do you know where my bag is and two, can I have food I’m starving,”

“You poor thing,” Fluttershy says, standing up. “I should have asked if you needed food,”

“It’s ok,” I say as she walks to the kitchen. I stand up and follow her.

“Any preference of food I should know?” She asks as she rummages through the kitchen.

I look around the room before answering. The kitchen was small, with one icebox, a wooden table and some cabinets. “Do you have any meat?” I ask hesitantly, knowing ponies are herbivores.

“Of course I do, I don’t eat it myself but I give it to my animals who need it,” She explains before turning to me as I sit down at the table. I kind of sit at the table, sitting results in it being slightly too tall, but sitting on my knees results in it being too short. I had to compromise by leaning onto the table with my arms. “I have fish and beef, that's all I have left over from the last time a feed my carnivores animals,”

“I’ll take the fish,” I say as she walks to the icebox. “Thanks again for the hospitality,” I say.

“No problem,” Fluttershy says, lightly blushing as she walks over to me with some dead frozen fish. I raise an eyebrow in slight confusion.

“Did I say something wrong?” I ask.

Her blush fades as she shakes her head. “No, but well...” Fluttershy looks away from me. “Hospitality means a stallion enjoys a mare’s..” She didn’t have to finish when I had a bright blush on my own face.

“Oh! My Ana! I’m so sorry,” I facepalm.

“It’s ok, you didn’t know better,” She responds as she quietly walks over to the other side of the table. She sits down and looks over at me.

I look down at the uncooked fish and back to her. She looks concerned as she tilts her head in confusion. “Do you have anywhere I can cook this?” I say pointing at the fish.

“I should have asked,” She whispers under her breath as she stands up. I stand up and grab a fish. “I just assumed you ate it raw like the other animals,” She says louder as she walks to the front door. She seems to deliberately cover her face with her hair.

I smile and follow her to the door. “It’s ok, as you said early, you didn’t know better,” I say, opening the door for her. She looks up at me and smiles.

“Thank you,” She says more confidently as she walks out the door. I walk out and follow her to the back of the cottage. The backyard was open with a fire ring, chicken pen, birdhouses, and a small shed. The backyard leads to a small forest behind her house. We stop by a fire ring full of wood. “Over there by the shed is fresh wood if you need it, but the fire ring seems to be full,”

She explains as I sit down next to the fire ring. I place the fish on the ground and look around instinctively for my bag. I look to Fluttershy who has brought over flint and steel. She places it next to me and I pick it up.

I hold the two pieces in my hands. The shape of the steel is very odd. The bent metal looks more like a horseshoe. I look over to Fluttershy, “I have a quick question, did I happen to end up here with my bag?”

Fluttershy smiles and nods, “Is it light blue with a green streak in the middle?” I nodded yes as I sit on my knees near the fire ring with the flint in one hand and the steel horseshoe in the other. “My friends Twilight Sparkle has it right now, she said if anything in the bag was in the wrong hoof it could be dangerous,”

I snort out a burst of small laughter as I try and light the fire. “Bullshit, almost half the bag is books and notebooks from my father,” I finally get the fire going. “The other half is some clothes and basic foods,”

“I think she just wanted to make sure,” Fluttershy says, sitting next to me as I spear the fish with a stick. She flinches slightly as the spear pushes some blood out of the fish. I hold the fish over the now flourishing fire.

“Who is Twilight Sparkle?” I ask, rotating the fish.

“Twilight Sparkle is a friend of mine,” Fluttershy says, watching me cook the fish intently. “She’s an alicorn princess of friendship,”

I smile to myself before responding. “The princess of Friendship?” "Why does that sound familiar, was it in my dad's notebooks?"

“Ya, what about it?” She responds looking at me confusingly.

“It’s just funny that you have a princess of Friendship,” I say, inspecting the somewhat burnt fish. I take a bite of it and chew it. Slightly burnt, but nice and warm on the inside. I turn to look at Fluttershy. “Is it ok if I pray?” I ask. “It would make me feel more like I am at home,”

“Of course you can,” Fluttershy says, smiling at me. I smile back and nod. I turn to look at the fish on my stick and close my eyes. My smile fades as I try and remember a prayer.

“Go raibh maith agat, Anna as an duine deas agus as an mbia seo,” I say as I slowly open my eyes and start eating the fish.

“If you don’t mind,” Fluttershy's sweat voice cutting the silence like a knife to bread. “But what did you just say?” I swallow and turn to look at her.

“I thanked Anna for the food,” I say, then quickly expand on what I just said. “Anna is the god of nature in my culture,”

“Is she nice?” Fluttershy asks as I take another bite of the fish.

“She’s not real,” Fluttershy looks at me confused. “We have this thing called religion where we believe in higher powers than us that may or may not be real, like Anna,” I try and explain. Trying to put into words what religion is, is very difficult.

“Oh!” Fluttershy says, seeming to understand my explanation. “So it’s like our princess Celestia, except we don’t know if she’s real?” Fluttershy asks for confirmation.

“Ya, kind of,” I say as I take the last bite of Fish and throw the stick into the fire. We sit there in silence, admiring the crackling of the fire. One of the pieces of wood breaks and falls apart, turning into ashes. The surrounding light is starting to get dimmer. I look up to see the sun is starting to set on the horizon. I sit straight up and smile at the sun. The silence is broken by the knocking of the cottage door along with a voice.

“Fluttershy! You here!?” a female voice asks.

“Twilight I’m in the back of the cottage!” Fluttershy yells as she stands up.

Comments

[The Orthodox Priesthood]

You may wish to consider what you really plan to do here. It seems, between the checklist of HiE introduction tropes, and the focus on "not being American" as the primary distinctive element, you may not have much room for telling a story.

See, for example, the first person and present tense usage. This gives a feeling of author insert while conveying a strikingly reactionary approach to the story, feeling much like the character is the author's avatar in a roleplay or roleplaying game. This leads to a certain element of detachment from the narrative and a narrator with little presence in the universe. This makes me vaguely suspect, along with the unfortunate misplacement of homophones, that this is possibly the author's first attempt at longform writing outside of roleplaying.

While that in itself could even be a good thing, it's important to practice in such ventures. Note Fluttershy's wording, she canonically uses very passive language and should be apparent as herself without much descriptive assistance. (Noting as well, not to be overly hamfisted with characterization or flanderization.)

I would recommend investing a little more time into writing as an art, making sure to understand what makes a well crafted paragraph into a well crafted scene.
May you have the best of luck in all writing endeavors, and your efforts be blessed.

[The Irish Brony]

10808162
Wow!... Thanks for the advice. Some of that I already knew but, it really hits differently when someone else tells you it. Again, thank you.

[The Orthodox Priesthood]

10808316
Of course. Remember that a story is a series of elements blended in a way that you don't see the screws holding it all together. The act of turning elements into a seamless flow is the art of writing. Skills are only honed from practice, for example a story that may be relevant to you is Bad Mondays, which started as a simple writing exercise by an Irishman and friend of mine.

Remember that we all must start somewhere, and that having the confidence to hit "post" is just as important a step as any. Take it from the guy who has deleted 75k words of his writing because he couldn't get it perfect.

[Amos Anon]

This is a bit rushed, but not a bad story so far. I shall continue to read, and see where this goes.