• Member Since 7th Feb, 2015
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago

Krickis


I’m like a literary siren, feeding off the negative emotions of fictional characters

T
Source

There's something about Sunset.

Something special. Something like music, it plays through Twilight's head. Something like a dance, it leaves Twilight winded but elated. Something like magic, it draws Twilight's gaze and invites her daydreams.

There's something about Sunset, and Twilight wants to know what it is.


This story is a gift for thedarkprep.

Thanks go to thedarkprep for proofreading, and to applejackofalltrades for the cover art.

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 89 )

It's only the prologue and I can already feel the feels!
I can't wait to see the drama unfold...

AAAAAAAAAAAA

okay calm breaths, jay. take deep breaths.

*inhales*

Okay so off to a great start! I can’t wait to see where this goes. I missed your writing! It’s just so pleasing to read. The repetition, the narration just *chefs kiss* MWAH. Amazing. I’m so glad this is daily updates because I’m about to punch a wall!

10809818
I'm looking forward to bringing the drama to folks! :yay:

10809823
lmao punching walls isn't recommended but ye short wait!

I can’t wait for the next chapter :twilightsheepish:

10809832
At least it won't be a long wait! :raritywink:

Ahhhh it’s live! Thank you for such a lovely dedication. I squeaked out loud when I read it. :heart:

Re-reading this is such a ride :twilightsmile:

I love the way the hints that it’s a dream just start peppering in.

There was something about Sunset.

roll credits. (ding)

10809840
It's gonna be exciting to see this one through! :pinkiehappy:

10809853
Sounds legit. Who needs a story when you can just title drop and walk away?

Is this based off of Something About Mary?

This seems lovely. :raritystarry: Can't wait to read more.

10809977
Not in the slightest, no

10809984
Thank you! Glad you're enjoying. First full chapter comes out tomorrow!

10809987
Okay, it's just that the title felt similar.

I have a feeling this is going to be a wild little ride. I'm buckled in and ready to go.

10810107
Hell yeah! I've got some stuff I'm really excited about for this story, I'm looking forward to getting it out. That said, to not let you down in expectations, this is firmly a slice of life fic, so I dunno how wild of a ride it'll really be lol

Aaaaa it's so good already!!

10810111
Glad you're enjoying it!

10810109
A wild ride on the feel's roller-coaster?

10810116
Now that one, it might just be :raritywink:

JMP

Dunno where this is going to go, but this was a cute chapter.
10810109
I mean...all of WWB is slice of life, isn't it? Doesn't stop you from making each story a trip.

10810223
This is true, and if you had said that I'd've knows how you meant it when you said a wild ride, but Voice isn't a usual commenter for me and might not be familiar with my style of writing :twilightsheepish:

JMP

10810242
Yeah, that makes sense.

Very poetic. Very emotional. And there even seems to be some slight drama on the horizon.

But I'll hope for a lot of drama instead.

10810963
Well, you know what this author is like... :ajsmug:

Really need to hire that guy to draw something for me :raritystarry:
Anyways, this dosnt tie into your other stories?

10811178
Nope, this is a completely standalone story

Kricks please I'm.

“Wow, you three must be really good friends.”

This made me giggle more than it should have

God I really missed your writing! There's something about it (haha) that's just so pleasing to read, even if it throws me around like a ragdoll. I'm seeing Twi being a little annoyed with Shy here and there, which I can understand why given what we're given. I must admit I squealed an unholy squeal when Flutterjack because Flutterjack. That trio is definitely great, even if it doesn't go fully around like a triangle and it's more of a conga line.

Can't wait to see where this goes, I know you're going to somehow hurt us because it's you and I'm immensely looking forward to it. Maybe I am a masochist, who knows. Literally bouncing around in glee rn as I shiver. Yay for bunwords!

That ending sure cure the confusion that I was having throughout this chapter

10811507
Hehehe glad you like it! Flutterjack is actually one of my all time favorite Flutterships, but I just don't usually get the chance to write it. So then I wanted to create an unbalanced (though working on fixing that) poly ship, I knew exactly who to pair Fluttershy with.

10811594
Lol I knew this would cause some confusion, which is exactly what I wanted from this story :derpytongue2:

10811678
Wait so you were shipping flutterJack

10811712
lol well they weren't kissing and moving in together and sharing one king sized bed and being referred to as girlfriends because they're all just really good friends :ajsmug:

10811740
Oh now that clarifies everything

I love the way you capture at the end that feeling of laying there in bed, lost in the comfort brought on by a special person and how a conversation with them can make everything okay.

Not to mention the way you juggle the dynamics between the three paramours in this. A lot of depth to explore and infer.

Great job. :twilightsmile:

10811809
Thank you! And I'm so flattered that you're rereading and commenting. Even though we've talked about this story extensively, it makes me really happy to see your comments :rainbowkiss:

Interesting. There are some cracks in the menage a trois that could lead to problems down the line.

10811866
Yeah, I think I'm finally at a point in my life where I can write about stuff like this; I don't need pure poly positivity anymore, I can show the complicated bits more these days.

‘Okay. Good night, Sunny <3’

‘Good night Sparky <3’

Awww. Now that's cute. Like I was imagining a wonderful kids cartoon called 'The Adventures of sunny and sparky'. Then I remembered that the source material IS a kids cartoon!

Well that was certainly drama filled. Like damn, were gonna need a bigger boat for all this drama shipping.

10812337
You came into a Krickis story without a big enough boat? Should've known better, tsk tsk

Lol but yeah, I'm really glad you're enjoying the story!

Woo boy, where to begin. Let me start off by saying polyamorous relationships are craaaaazy hard. And there is a huge difference between that and open swinging relationships. Tantamount is the 100% honesty required. Without it, they always fall apart because most humans are wired to be both promiscuous and clingy possessive at the same time! Not recommended for people with anxiety or self esteem issues.

Now as far as the story, this is interesting and I look forward to see how you handle as Twilight was saying the Landmines.

10812511
Lol this is a story from someone who has been in a poly relationship for the past five years. I live with my wife and her boyfriend, and also have a girlfriend in another state. It took me that long to write this story, because my earlier poly stories focused on the positivity of it, or were just about external hardships from haters, which is what I needed then. Now I feel this has been my reality long enough that I wanted a story that tackled the internal hardships that come with it.

All of which is to say that believe me, I get it hahaha. I do think people with anxiety disorders and self esteem issues can do well in poly, but it requires extra patience and openness. To that end, at least by my intention, Fluttershy has chronic mental health issues; this isn't something she can just work on and overcome. Despite this, she might still not be wired for monogamy. I actually think she's making the right decision here, she's encouraging Twilight in seeking another relationship, and she's willing to work through her own issues for a healthy relationship. It'll be difficult, but I do think she's doing things the right way.

There was something about Sunset

Look, she said it!

Before I start my inevitable essay, just a few things I have to wonder/comment about:

Or yeah, right.” Twilight facepalmed. She had already known that was what Moon Dancer was doing. “Well… any other subjects?”

Am I incredibly stupid? Is this meant to say or? I reread that piece and I literally can’t figure it out.

“Oh, okay. Sorry, I should have asked.

Forgot the end quotation marks there :>

ANYWAY. Lets get on with it.

So, another great chapter! You really capture that feeling of wanting to be productive but not being able to do anything really well. I didn’t pick it as a quote, which I sort of regret now, but there was a line where Twilight said she was supposed to be good at (for?) something, or something along those lines. That one kinda hurt because it’s so subtle, and I’m not sure if you intended this, but it really made me think that Twilight has some self-esteem or self-worth issues. Like she’s supposed to be good for something, and if she can’t even do something as “simple” as organize and pick a choice for an apartment, then is she really useful? I dunno, something about that one line got me. We can obviously see that Fluttershy has intense anxiety and self-esteem issues, but also, Twilight here is neurotic and also seems to struggle with wanting to be useful. I think it’s a wonderful little touch.

Her mom not understanding (but supporting? kind of) her polyamorous relationship is kind of reminiscent of WWB, which I don’t mean in a bad way, but it’s refreshing to see this take on it, where she doesn’t really understand it, but she supports Twilight. I also think, and I didn’t mention this earlier, that I like that this one seems a bit rocky (because of Twilight’s uncertainty that Fluttershy would really be okay with Twilight having another partner), and it’s different in the way that it goes Applejack <--> Fluttershy <--> Twilight rather than go all the way around. That being said, I do want to see how Twilight approaches this. Sunset tells her to trust Fluttershy, which I mean of course is a valid statement and a true one, but I don’t blame Twilight for being wary. I would be, too. Especially since Fluttershy kind of seems to not like Moon Dancer.

Oh, speaking of Moon Dancer, that was a beautifully awkward conversation they had. Specifically when they got on call. I think it’s really interesting that we see Twilight obviously having some kind of interest in being with Moon Dancer, and they seem comfortable and extremely friendly in text, but when it comes to calling, they seem kind of awkward. I say this is interesting because immediately afterward, we get Twi being happy that Sunset texted her, and we get that similar level of teasing and comfort with Sunset as she has with Moon Dancer, but when they call, Twilight has no problem striking conversation and maintaining that comfortable conversation. Sure, Twi wasn’t ready to call Moon Dancer because she was going to go out with Spike, but it’s still curious that she’s so much more comfortable with Sunset. I guess there’s just something about her.

Oh, and speaking of Sunset....

‘It’s okay,’ Twilight reassured herself. ‘Fluttershy said it was okay for me to date someone else, and like Sunset said, I should trust her on that. And she likes Sunset! This could actually work, I just have to not blow it…’

Is she... still talking about Moon Dancer here? :ajsmug: Cause if I recall correctly, did Twilight acknowledge she has a bit of a crush on Sunset? Or am I completely making that up? I can’t remember lol. Anyway, seems Twi is a lot more excited at the idea of being with Sunset (take that what way you will) and as for that “[Fluttershy] likes Sunset!” message, I wonder if Fluttershy being friends with Sunset will make it easier or harder for her to accept Twilight dating her. Maybe the (geographical?) distance between Twi and Moon Dancer (and Shy and Moon Dancer in more ways than geographically) would make it easier for Fluttershy and the turning point here (and dramaaaa) is that Fluttershy has a problem specifically with Twi and Sunset.

To conclude, another great chapter! And now that we’re going to get (at least I assume haha) some actual Sunset and Twi interaction, I wonder what they’ll talk about and how Twi sees it. Can’t wait til tomorrow! I’m officially declaring myself your biggest fan, you literally can’t stop me :)

I wanna piggyback off of 10812815's comment and say that the way you wrote the differences in how Moon Dancer and Sunset support Twilight when she shows distress and a lack of confidence is a masterful piece of characterization. One gives space, the other tries to problem solve.

I was impressed the first time I read it, and I still am.

I also agree with him on the power of the "She was supposed to be good for something." line. Literal Chills.

I'll end by saying that I'm a bigger fan than applejackofalltrades. Take the amount of fan they are, and add Ten. That's how much.

10812840

I'll end by saying that I'm a bigger fan than Applejackofalltrades. Take the amount of fan they are, and add Ten. That's how much.

I will fight you for it

10812844
*readies (is that how you spell it I genuinely don't know) fists*

Twiggles, you're thinking to hard about this, and putting way too much weight on yourself. All three of you need to figure this thing out.

10812815
That or was a typo lol

And yeah that's something I can relate to Twilight about quite a lot. That feeling of "come on, do this thing, it's supposed to be the one thing I'm good at!" is very familiar to me, so I channeled that into the story. It was also something Prep picked up on early on in proofreading and helped me expand into a bigger theme for Twilight.

There's a lot of grey area between support and disapproval, and I wanted to show that a little more with Velvet in this chapter. She wants her daughter to be happy, but what the hell is going on in her daughter's relationship? Velvet doesn't seem to get it. And I've wanted to write about a poly relationship that wasn't a triad for a long time, so I'm glad I was able to here.

lol yeah, as her comment above yours indicates, Prep had a field day with the differences between Moon Dancer and Sunset. A lot of that comes from her ideas, though she'll probably modestly say she didn't have much to do with it. And Twilight did confirm in the prologue that she has a crush on Sunset, this isn't an unknown thing for her, but I'll keep quiet on where that's going :raritywink:

10812840

I was impressed the first time I read it, and I still am.

That's because it was literally your idea :ajsmug:

10813037
Oh yeah absolutely, the three of them having a sit down and a good talk about all of this is exactly what they need to do with the house problem.

10813105

All I said was, "you should do a thing that explores this."

Then you did it, and waaaaay better than I imagined it.

So yeah, I'm impressed. Learn to take a compliment.

10813112
Says the person who will deny her role in the story workshopping.

It never would have happened without your input.

Learn to take credit.

Love how varied each character is, even with the (so far) fixed perspective of Twilight; and how nearly all of them manage to stress out Twilight (except Spike and Sunset so far) to varying degrees.

One minor point, is how much Sci-Twi acts like princess Twilight. It might just be me, and of course they are both Twilights, moreover I doubt that princess Twilight will be in this story so it hardly matters anyway (just maybe something to keep in mind?).

I like Moondancer and think she had an interesting episode in FiM, however Sunset is in another league and I hope Twilight ends up dating her and that everyone is okay with that.
Or maybe this will be the first fic that I've read with a sunset who is heterosexual, who knows?

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