A Pony’s guide to a bad story.

by LightningChaser04

1- You may (not) kiss the bride.

It was a grand function. Rainbow finally stepped out of her home for longer than 3 hours. Twilight did the “Do you” parts. Rainbow was surprisingly dressed in a gown similar to her first Gala gown. White all over, except the flowy veil, which was rainbow coloured. Soarin was wearing this outfit:

*inserts a mario image, from super mario odyssey* but the hat didn’t have eyes and it wasn’t on an Italian plumber who saves princesses.

The CMCs, who were 17, the only exception of Scootaloo being 10 thanks to the transformation, were the flower girls. Applebloom and Sweetie Belle had their cutie marks, but Scootaloo didn’t. Rumble was the ringbearer. (You know, pony who holds the rings. Not the ones that took Eggman to Mushroomville.)

---

The usual stuff happened and then

“You may kiss the bride.” said Twilight after the “I dos” were over.

“What? No way!” protested Rainbow Dash. Everypony and changeling gasped. “I do like him, but not like-like! There’s no way that last thing can happen! No way Jose!”

Soarin lives at the wedding x9

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At the rehearsal:

“Twilight. For the sake of Equestria, do not say the last bit.”
“Why not Rainbow?”
“Because I don’t like him like him. Sure, Soarin’s a great friend, doesn’t mind 600 kids or 600 more, but it just feels weird.. and the last kiss I gave somepony was a good night kiss on a nymph’s cheek.”
“But you have to.. I’m sorry.”
“Why?”
“It’s just tradition, and if you don’t like-like him, why are you two getting married anyway?”
“He too is a changeling.. A king. His whole hive died and so would he after a week. It’s been a week since his hive died, and apparently Ovi told him that he can’t rule with no hive, and the hive is basically made of the Queen’s spawn. He has no queen, and all the others are married, so he had to come to me.. it’s an arranged marriage.”

“Oh, ok.. I understand Rainbow.. But, as cheesy as it sounds, an act of true love can save him. TRUE. So on a scale of 1-10, tell me how possible of you loving Soarin?”
“4-6. He is a good friend!”
“Better than 0. So I would say, give it a chance. I too have the occasional suitor..”
“Thanks Twilight.”

---

In the end, the wedding goes perfectly. But, you asked for it, chazkopa. Get ready to see some failed wedding attempts!

---

At Carousel Boutique, a nervous Rainbow kept shape-shifting. All that caused a uni-pega-whale-scorpio-squid-icorn mare.
A lot of “Hold still, darling!”s were heard.

And then, there were our couple, putting on their best smiles.

‘Keep it together Rainbow. Just smile a bit. You are sort of saving a life here.. and you can do sonic rainbooms in your sleep. And the pony is a wonderbolt, so chill.’ thought Rainbow, walking down the aisle with the triplets dropping flowers before them.

Just your typical pony wedding after that. What did you expect? I’m not a romance fan! I’m not writing any further. Hmph!

Ok, maybe a teensy bit more. This will probably have fifty-six quattuorquinquagintillion six hundred forty-three trequinquagintillion two hundred fifteen duoquinquagintillion seven hundred eighty-nine unquinquagintillion eight hundred sixty-five quinquagintillion four hundred twenty-two novemquadragintillion six hundred seventy-four octoquadragintillion three hundred twenty-five septenquadragintillion seven hundred eighty-nine sexquadragintillion six hundred twenty-two quinquadragintillion five hundred eighty-nine quattuorquadragintillion seventy-five trequadragintillion seven hundred eighty duoquadragintillion eight hundred fifty-four unquadragintillion six hundred seventy-four quadragintillion three hundred twenty-three novemtrigintillion five hundred eighty-eight octotrigintillion eight hundred fifty-four septentrigintillion two hundred twenty-five sextrigintillion seven hundred eighty-nine quintrigintillion eight hundred sixty-five quattuortrigintillion two hundred thirteen trestrigintillion seven hundred ninety-nine duotrigintillion eight hundred sixty-five untrigintillion three hundred twenty-two trigintillion seven hundred eighty-nine novemvigintillion eight hundred sixty-four octovigintillion three hundred twelve septenvigintillion seven hundred eighty sexvigintillion eight hundred fifty-three quinvigintillion two hundred sixty-eight quattuorvigintillion seventy-four trevigintillion three hundred thirty-seven duovigintillion nine hundred eighty-three unvigintillion three hundred twenty-five vigintillion eight hundred ninety-nine novemdecillion two hundred seventeen octodecillion eight hundred septendecillion four hundred thirty-two sexdecillion five hundred eighty-nine quindecillion nine hundred sixty-six quattuordecillion four hundred thirty-two tredecillion three hundred sixty-seven duodecillion eight hundred seventy-four undecillion one hundred sixty-seven decillion nine hundred sixty-six nonillion four hundred thirty-six octillion eight hundred eighty-seven septillion five hundred forty-three sextillion three hundred sixty-seven quintillion nine hundred ninety-seven quadrillion five hundred forty-three trillion two hundred thirty-six billion seven hundred eighty-eight million five hundred forty-three thousand three hundred sixty-seven dislikes, or hate comments..

The end.

Author's Note:

Credit to @chazkopa for ideas.

And, I’m a mare of mystery.. Guess where the uni-pega- nonsense came from.