• Member Since 10th Jun, 2014
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago


It's called garbage can, not garbage can't.


Princess Cadance writes about her job and what it means to be a princess and a mother in a letter to Flurry's school.

Rated teen for language, sex references, and language.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 33 )

Contest? What was the prompt? A letter?
But anyway- this must be a coincidence because I'm... writing a fic similar to this...:rainbowderp:

edit: Oh I didn't realize this was from you, Hap. Have a great day :heart:

10787076 https://www.fimfiction.net/group/215615/cadance-is-a-terrible-mom-2021-competition

Deadline is in, uh, five hours I think so if you want to get in on this now's the time.

Most likely the Cadance is a Terrible Mom contest from what’s been popping up in the new stories column these few days. I don’t know for sure though :twilightblush:

10787079 Nope, that's the one.

I, uh, went through a process similar to Cadance here. Well! It is what it is.

God Hap this was brilliant. Tragic yet hilarious all the same and just so delightfully meta. This was a wonderful way to start my morning!

Hahahahahaha good one! This one lightened up my evening like a Christmas tree on Hearth Warming's Eve Night! I can't say I understand what it's like to raise a child and feel I'm inadequate for the task, but I can say I know what it's like when you're given an overwhelming task and feel like you're not good enough. It's a place a lot of us have been to, and you did a splendid job of comically writing that out into a story. Good job, Hap, and hope to read many more stories from you in the future!

10787199 10787185 Glad you folks enjoyed it!

I've discovered that editing is a lot easier when the pony writing the story in-universe is drunk. A lot of those 'intentional' mistakes were, uh

Well they are what they are.

I feel bad for her, poor Cadence :pinkiesad2:

10787383 Don't feel too bad. The price for her existential angst is, ultimately, a hot husband, a palace, a lot of cash, and a free invite to every party in Equestria.

Could be wooooorse!

Thanks for the entry!

Deadline in 10 hours, actually.

10787405 What? Really?

I'm pretty sure 11:59 Central Timezone is 17:59 british time...

I mean, I'm not complaining, but now my hilarious meta joke has been undercut! I'll have to unpublish and post it closer to the deadline. Or I won't do that, because that sounds like effort. But I should.

You got the wrong 11:59 lmao. Submissions are due by 12 AM. It's PM.

10787413 Ah you meant to write 23:59. It makes sense now.

Well this is where we are today! I'll just rebrand and say that I was getting in early out of a sense of punctuality or something. You know how it is. It's all about the marketing beybeeeeeee.

Huk #15 · April 25th · · ·

Darn, Cadance! You always struck me as the nicest of the princesses, but... good God, girl! That language:pinkiegasp:! I guess it's true what they say - it's always the quiet ones... :duck:

the dumb lug can't spell to save his life

one of the best jokes I've read in this site :rainbowlaugh:

Now I want a sequel where Miss Hardcase sends her own drunk/depressed confession letter telling her how she also has no idea what she's doing and that she was scared shitless about requesting something from a princess.

10787494 Aw man that has such Hero of the Imperium vibes now you mention that.

Mmmmmooood Kindred!

10787473 It is a truth universally acknowledged that any character no matter how prim and proper, when written by a scotsman may at any point turn into a foul mouthed sailor.

imagine you understand the responsibilities of being a Princess weigh heavily on me and keep me very

Oh who am I kidding. I ran out of time, so I wrote this.

I’m a failure.

I have no fucking idea what to write. I’ve been up until three in the morning trying to figure out what to put in here and I’m drawing a blank. The only thing I’m good for writing is pithy excuses and apologies. It’s all I do

Jokes aside, I had a good time laughing with this story! It's both odd and yet funny seeing Cadance throwing down swears like a pro:rainbowlaugh:

10788097 I like to think that this is all the pent-up frustration she feels at writing the same letter over and over again exploding in one explosive tirade of self-deprecation. Imposter syndrome at its finest.

It's silly stories like these that remind me why I am still on this website. Thank you.

10789271 Anytime! I enjoy writing wacky stuff from time to time. : )

It's relaxing.

Last minute “cadence is a bad mom” contest entries are my new favorite microgenre.

10789589 They are certainly something!

I have a bit of a history of submitting contest entries last minute. Not my Rescuer was written and edited about 10 hours or something before the deadline and Farm Responsibility was written only 2 hours before the deadline.

I'm not happy that it's my specialty but this is where I'm at today I guess.

Amazing. The most in-character and show-accurate Cadence I've seen, that also makes the most sense of the canon surrounding her.


While I usually spend months on even the simplest story, I occasionally write a story in a day or less. A couple of these have been well received and one is unambiguously one of my best stories.

Several other of these stories were very definitely not either. :twilightsheepish:

10789957 I personally suspect that especially for folk like us (I used to spend a long, long time writing stories, much like you describe) writing something off-the-cuff allows for a 'higher energy' style that might be more enticing in a few ways.

But that's just based on anecdotal experience. I try to do a mix of both these days since I've found that writing things quickly is, to be honest, pretty relaxing. It's why I decided to try speedwriting, which also taught me a bit about writing I hadn't known I was missing.

10789837 Cadance is weird, to be fair.


There’s a message for my perfectionism here. :trixieshiftleft:

10790454 Ha ha, yes, my perfectionism side doesn't like it to be fair.

One of the reasons I'm a bit addicted to contests is because it often forces me to shelve endlessly tweaking, editing, and re-drafting stories, which is something I've done. Whilst the actual writing stage of Titanium Jack was done only over about a month to two months, the initial ideas had gone through drafts for over a year before then, all of which I threw away. This meant I could write with a very mature, well-develloped idea, but it was a very delicate, precise process.

By contrast racing through something and blasting through it in a day simply feels more energetic and raw. It's not as polished and sometimes it goes completely wrong, but when it works well it feels uniquely satisfying, like pulling off a trick shot on the first try. Given the choice I'd like to be good at both delicately piecing together a story over a long time as well as just wing it. : )

If you're at all interested in speedwriting, there's a discord group I joined which regularly does informal little speedwriting contests. These vary from the very silly and absurd, to more serious and conventional. Info here.


I openly acknowledge my perfectionism is a flaw. If we're talking personal satisfaction, "I finished something" is a much bigger boost than "This novel I've rewritten nine times might be really good one day". And that's NOT a hypothetical example. And in terms of success (by any metric) quality beyond a very basic level of competence is almost irrelevant, and persistence and luck are the primary determinants.

So, yeah, Quills and Sofas intimidates me but I'll give it a try. I think I might try to write something today. It will be terrible clop tho. I'm sorry. :rainbowwild:

10790486 It is what it is!

At the end of the day whatever helps you write is going to be a good thing, and frankly, some folks enjoy spending ages and ages tweaking something to satisfaction, which is fair enough so long as it's delivering what they want. I quite like variety, so I try to inject different vibes into what I write, if only so it continues to amuse me.

Good to hear you're going to be writing! And good luck with your terrible clop! : )

I really feel for Cadance, this isn't her fault its Celestia's ponies and people who don't know what their doing shouldnt be leaders.

Login or register to comment