• Member Since 10th Aug, 2020
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littleman001


T

This story is a sequel to Unfriendship: Pony Gods


Two years have passed since the defeat of the Equestrian Magical Regime. Twilight is imprisoned in Tartatus along with her followers and Celestia is struggling to put Equestria back together. But when the Storm King and the villanous First Order appear on the scene, will she be able to swallow her pride and join forces with her former student and friend in order to save Equestria? Is there redemption to fallen tyrants? And how does a lone, orphaned unicorn named Luster Dawn come into the picture?

Based on "Injustice 2".

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 43 )

You said the first order does that mean the star wars first order?

10783192

Agreed, because it might confused some people. Plus, it sounds like the Storm King stole the First Order's name. Shame on him for Copyright Infringement!!!!!!

10783254
Hey. He's a villain. You think he gives a hoot about copyright laws? That's pretty penny-ante compared to the other stuff he's pulling.

Very little I can say beyond great job on the action and future chapter set-up in this prologue. Quite definitely an appropriately nerve-wracking flashback scene with the Storm King's forces and Luster's last few moments with her parents.

Quite certainly looking forward to more of this (especially since I've only seen a FEW game play videos showing the beginning, the end, and a few bits and pieces of the middle concerning the actual game).

10783192
Yeah, I borrowed that name. I know very few people like the Disney Star Wars movies, but I think the First Order is a cool name.

10783333

I know he is a Villainous Tyrant. It's just that little information makes him more despicable, and more enjoyable to kick his ass.

10783346

I am a Huge Star Wars Fan. And I both LOVE the Original Trilogy, and the Prequel Trilogy. Especially the Clone Wars, Rebels, and the Mandalorian, and upcoming Bad Batch.

But, for the Disney Sequel Trilogy? :applejackunsure:

So, so.

Luster as Supergirl? So who's going to be Harley again?

Excellent work on this latest chapter. The action, exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up are all quite well done. Definitely felt how emotional Celestia's fights in the flashbacks were as well as Celestia's recall of the later encounters. Also enjoyed the chat with Mayor Mare.

Very certainly looking forward to more of this.

10784591
Good. Emotional is kinda what I was going for. That means I accomplished it. :)

I'm looking foward to more of the story!:pinkiehappy:

Pretty good start so far. Looking forward to reading the next chapters. :raritywink:

10788656
Happy you liked it. Stay tuned for more! :twilightsmile:

10789072
Quick Question:

If the Storm King is this world's version of Brainiac, does that mean he's going to be more serious or is he going to be just as comedic as he was in the MLP movie?

10789096
I was planning on a more serious portrayal.

10789105
Got it. I'm fine with either approach.

The action, exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up are all quite well done https://testmyspeed.onl/.

The First Order may be a cool name, but I do wish you came up with an original name.

10799374
Well, I guess it's never too late to rewrite it. Seemed like a good idea at the time.

10799374

10799379

To be fair, it IS extremely difficult to come up with a good-sounding original name. Pretty much any good-sounding name has already been used and any attempt to be original would just end up coming up with a name that sounds WAY too goofy for a serious story like this. Besides, "the Society" in the actual game were ripping off the JUSTICE Society with the use of the name (which is kind of Lampshaded in possible fights between Jay Garrick [as a premiere skin for Barry] and Doctor Fate). If the villains in the actual game had no problem with ripping off the HEROES, why should the villains here be concerned with ripping off other VILLAINS?

10799452
Thanks for the backup, mate! :)

Though, I thought "The Society" in the game was taken from the Secret Society of Supervillains rather than the JSA.

Hey there. Thanks again for getting the next chapter up. Really enjoyed the work that went into the action, exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up in all the right places. Yeah, this was one of the parts of the game I HAVEN'T seen gameplay videos for. Definitely liked the added details on such things as Daring helping Celestia get the stuff she needed to bring in the alternate versions of the Mane Six, Cadance and Shining, Thorax helping Celestia work through her grief, Flash working through his own issues with Thorax and Zecora, Thorax's dialogues with Ember and Pharynx as well as the detail in the fights.

Fluttershy: I would need an army of animals to be any help and, even then, I would need one of Discord's portals to get there in time to help. And the conditions of my pardon were pretty clear on no more than one animal at a time (and, even then, nothing bigger than a rabbit) and no interactions with Discord.

Bon Bon: For what it's worth, Fluttershy, I AM sorry about this. But with Lyra's life at stake, I can't afford to play nice.

Fluttershy: (after she wins the fight) For what it's worth, Bon Bon, we'll do what we can to rescue Lyra.

Applejack: Look, I git why ya don't trust me, but you SHOULD trust my kin. Dey put me through Tartarus to re-earn deir respect 'n trust.

Unless, of course, you already have other/better dialogue ideas for Fluttershy's chapter. In which case, I profusely apologize.

At any rate, definitely looking forward to more of this.

10799455
Probably was. I was just saying that as a half joke (I say HALF because I'm not a hundred percent certain myself).

I guess Twilight's gotten xenophobic after her descent into madness if she chased every other species away, which is kind of sad since Spike is a dragon himself.

I know you said that Flash and Daring wouldn't be in a relationship, but I wouldn't mind seeing some ship tease between the two of them. If it does happen in the end, I wouldn't object at all. XD

10801482
Yeah. That was the reason I wanted Twilight's Regime in the first story to be all ponies. Though I was considering Spike for the role of Damien before that. I guess Dragons reminded her too much of him and she couldn't deal with being around them.

I was actually thinking about a little ship teasing between them too. I don't know if I'll bring anything out of it, but we'll see.

Well, it took a while, but was certainly worth the wait. The exchanges, characterizations, action and future chapter set-up were quite well done in all the right places. Definitely enjoyed Flash and Daring's teamwork and banter here, as well as having to respect how close they came to capturing Tempest. Too bad Rainbow and Blueblood found Luster first, though, but she'll know the whole story soon enough.

Anyway, really looking forward to more of this.

10848702
Thank you for your comment! Once again, you're continued support is a huge motivation for me to continue! :)

Haha, Daring was such a tsundere towards Flash! It was pretty funny to see.

And from the look of things, maybe Flash and Daring will have more to do later in the story, which I hope they do. I didn't like that Green Arrow and Canary only had relevance in Chapters 2 and 3 of the main story and then were pretty much forgotten after defeating their brainwashed selves. I'm hoping to see a different scenario happen here, since we can put 'creative differences' in our stories.

10850998
I wasn't planning to deviate too much from the story about their roles, but now that you mention it, I might think of something for them when they return. I think I already have an idea of sorts.

I like the storyline of Flash and Green Lantern in the game because it shows that redemption is not easy. People will mistrust and be suspicious of you even if you're earnest in changing your ways. So I'm looking forward to watching Fluttershy and Applejack prove that they're better now.

And just for fun, I'll write down battle intros as if they were facing each other in the 'Multiverse' Arcade.

----
Cadence walked forward with her spear magically levitating beside her, then slammed it down making a burst of magic spread around her. In front of her was Flash Sentry, former captain of the Crystal Guard ready to fight her.

"It's not too late Cadence." Flash offered her. "You can still join us."

"Speak for yourself, Flash." Cadence snapped bitterly, pointing her spear at him.

Preparing his crossbow, he answered back pleadingly "I'm trying to speak for Shining Armor."
----
Starlight walked whilst a magic circle surrounded her, preparing herself for the fight. Her opponent flew down in front of her, Fluttershy looking at her disapprovingly.

"How could you not have any regrets, Starlight!?" Fluttershy demanded from her former friend.

Dispelling the magic circle, Starlight coolly responded "Because I know we did the right thing."

The Element of Kindness narrowed her eyes, her answer the reason why she defected from the Regime "One word: Rarity!"
----
Flam strode forward using the Hard Cider from his tank to move quickly before stopping to face his foe. It was the farmer Applejack, giving him a pleading look.

"Hurting innocent ponies won't bring yer brother back Flam!" Applejack told him desperately.

"I know Applejack..." Flam softly answered, showing that he was a stallion still mourning the death of his brother.

Applejack frowned and readied for battle. "Ah can't let ya destroy yerself like this."
----
The sun shining above her, Celestia gently floated down and was face-to-face with someone she never thought she'd see again. Chrysalis walked toward her with a sadistic grin.

"You let me live Celestia, and now look what happened because of your platitudes of friendship." Chrysalis mockingly cackled.

"That was on you, not me." Celestia firmly responded, spreading her wings.

Rolling her eyes, the changeling queen lit her horn "Whatever helps you sleep at night Celly."


This is what I came up with so far. You can add your own if you'd like!

10886020

Sounds fun!


Lightning Dust drops in from above and stands up to spread her wings and flex her muscles before turning to face her opponent.

A broken horned Twilight Sparkle walks in giving Lightning an angry look. "Why leave the Regime for Tempest?"

"Lightning narrows her eyes at Twilight. "She does not treat me as her pet!"

Twilight uses a spell to restore her horn and glares at Lightning with glowing purple eyes. "I should have put a collar on you!"


Bon Bon walks in loading her bola launcher and with all kinds of traps on her belt.

Tempest Shadow levitates a cup of wine in front of herself with her magical headgear. "You have been a good pet, Bon Bon." she says after sipping from her cup.

Bon Bon places her weapon on her back and glares at Tempest. "I'm done playing fetch!"

Tempest crushes the cup. "Time to put you down."


Thorax walks in escorted by two reformed changeling soldiers who pull their spears apart from each other to let their king pass.

Sunburst walks in, levitating magic books around himself. "Changelings have a dark past."

"But their future is bright?" Thorax asks hopefully as he steps forward.

Sunburst closes the books and places them inside his cloak with his magic. "They have NO future."


Twilight floats down from above with purple magical energy sparkling around her.

Chrysalis walks in disguised as Twilight before turning back into herself. "Can't you see, Twilight? I won."

Twilight narrows her eyes at her as they lit up with purple magical energy. "You died. How's that winning?"

Chrysalis grins evilly at her as her horn lits up green. "I destroyed your precious harmony AND made you lose control."


Fluttershy floats down from above surrounded by her bird friends.

Flurry Heart teleports in with a sword in her hooves with the Regime symbol on it's handle. "You're a coward and a traitor!"

Fluttershy glares at the filly. "You betrayed your own mother!"

Flurry points at Fluttershy with her sword. "She betrayed Twilight and Equestria first."

Thanks very much for getting this next chapter up. I really appreciate you going to the effort. I have nothing to blame for taking this long to respond except self-admitted laziness, but the exchanges, characterizations, action and future chapter set-up are all well done in all the right places. I also thank you for liking my dialogue ideas enough to actually use a couple of them. Anyway, really good job on modifying the action in here to be a better fit for the characters. And, good job on the additional scenes that WEREN'T in the clips I've seen for this chapter (the clips were almost entirely focused on Flash's fights) as well as explaining how Twilight knows about the Storm King and vice versa.

Possible other battles not in the story mode, but between the characters in question:


Twilight (to Flash Sentry): This won't be a fair fight (referring to the fact that, even with her horn broken, she can still fly like a Pegasus and has an Earth pony's strength, while Flash only has one of those).

Flash: Well, I figured I should give you a sporting chance.

Twilight: (temporarily restoring her horn magically) That's actually kind of funny.


************************************


Bon Bon: Don't take this personally, Celestia.

Celestia: What would it take to get you back on our side?

Bon Bon: As soon as your team rescues Lyra.

******************************************

Pinkie: (firing off a couple blasts of her party cannon, getting ready to spar with Thorax) So, when are you going to propose to Celestia?

Thorax: It will have to wait.

Pinkie: Come on! Cheese and I want to set up the proposal party.




***************************************

Twilight: (to Sweetie Belle) Are you sure about this?

Sweetie Belle: No, but I'm here.

Twilight: I'll give you points for honesty.

***************************************

Flurry Heart: (to a random opponent) I'll give you one chance to surrender.

Random Opponent: (provides your choice of a defiant line)

Flurry Heart: Too bad you wasted it.

*******************************************

Flam: (to Twilight) Finally. A shot at the big mare.

Twilight: Be careful what you wish for.

Flam: Just a chance to kick your flank.

*******************************************


Of course, I can completely understand if you don't like any of these dialogue ideas.






But, anyway, very certainly looking forward to more of this.

10887372
It's okay. Now that you've commented, the world is round again! :)

And actually, that part about Celestia asking Twilight about the Storm King was also from the game in Flash's chapter. You can see it here:
https://youtu.be/_ZATaYSoMqI

I think that you're improving in the action scenes, as this chapter was very action-packed. I don't know if you've noticed, but I think you're getting better at writing fights.

So next chapter will be with Applebloom and Sweetie Belle, right? After Rarity's death, I think that Sweetie Belle will be more bitter and cynical here, since she won't be happy staying around her sister's murderer.

REALLY good job on this chapter. Admittedly, Green Lantern's chapter was one of many I haven't seen on YouTube, so I can't really compare it to the actual game, but the action, exchanges and future chapter set-up are all quite well done. I have to say it WAS a logical, in-universe reason for the Nightmare to pick Applejack. And also liked Pinkie's fourth-wall break as she was busting out Thorax.

Certainly looking forward to more of this.

10945417
Thank you for the compliment. I've been actually writing fanfics before these ones and there were some fight scenes I've been very proud of.

10945463
Thank you for the comment. Stay tuned for more. :twilightsmile:

What the status on Luna, since Night Mare Moon no longer in her, how does she handle the actions she taken which were ten no hundred times worst then she did as Night Mare Moon.

10946166
I'll go into some of that in the next chapter.

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