Chapter 4: The Agility Test
“Okay, all the times have been tallied, and after including in all of Twilight’s point deductions, I’m pleased to announce that the falcon is currently in first place! In dead last is our resident unicorn who apparently was raised to become a pet.” Rainbow Dash giggled as Twilight gave her a look of shock and annoyance, the unicorn finally starting to recover after her rough mile run.
“Last place? Dash, as much as I’m trying to prove a point here, how am I in last place when the tortoise didn’t even FINISH the race?”
“Sorry, Twi, but your point deductions have sunk you into a pretty deep hole that could very well be impossible to dig out of. The turtle…”
“Tortoise.”
“…tortoise, whatever, may not have finished the race, but he hasn’t gotten any point deductions for being an egghead, being annoying, or being a pest.”
“That doesn’t even make sense! I can’t be in last place when I actually finished the race! Ugh…never mind, it doesn’t matter. Do whatever makes you happy, Rainbow.” Twilight knew that she was fighting an uphill battle, both in Rainbow Dash’s silly games and with Rainbow Dash herself. Arguing against the Pegasus would do as much good as trying to get Fluttershy to be more assertive.
“I’ll do just that, Twilight,” Rainbow smirked, jotting some more random information down on her clipboard and failing to notice her flying competitors tease and mock Twilight. The tortoise stayed right at Twilight’s side, dejected that he had failed to finish the race, but feeling he could understand Twilight’s pain and would be there for her. The birds and other flying creatures, while Dash wasn’t looking, continued to tease and make faces at the tired purple unicorn, who did nothing to fight back.
“Nice…I’ve got a bunch of animals all mocking me…how lovely,” Twilight muttered sarcastically to herself, glancing down at the tortoise and giving a weak smile, “Hey, little guy, good to see you’re still here. I wasn’t trying to call you out earlier; I was just a bit annoyed with Dash’s illogical sense of a fair point system. Are you feeling alright?” The tortoise slowly nodded his head and gave Twilight a little smile, silently telling her that it was alright and he had been called out worse times than that in his life.
“Okay, now that I’ve jotted down some very important things on my super important clipboard, it’s time to get to the second part of my contest,” Dash yelled out, crossing her forelegs and sticking her clipboard under her left pit, “First was speed, since speed is crucial to being able to keep up with me. However, the next test will be agility! Naturally, my pet will have to be very agile and graceful, just like me, and be able to zoom around any obstacle in his or her way!”
“Rainbow Dash, being fast I suppose I can understand, since you’d want to fly with your pet. But, agility? Seriously? What, are you planning on taking your pet on dangerous missions with obstacles and other dangerous hazards?” Twilight sat on her sore rump and crossed her forelegs, tapping one of her hind legs on the ground in annoyance while she listened to Dash’s usual bravado.
Rainbow Dash frowned over at Twilight, and suddenly stretched her wings and flew over to her. “For your information, smarty pants, dodging trees and flying over pointed mountaintops and skimming over the tops of raging waterfalls all count as obstacles in my book. Testing a pet for agility isn’t a bad thing. I’ll be very curious to see just how well YOU can do, Twi; think you can handle my second test?”
“Oh, I know I can! My body may ache from that race, but I’m still anxious to prove you wrong and win this entire contest!” Twilight bent her ears back and gave Rainbow Dash a confident grin. “Anything that these birds can do, I can do just as well! Let’s see this obstacle race of yours, Dash.”
“It’s your funeral,” Dash shrugged, giving Twilight a little wink before flying back over to the sidelines of the second track, “Alright, so this agility test will be an obstacle course, as you all might’ve guessed. Each racer will have to complete the course in the fastest time possible while going through all the obstacles. For each obstacle that you fail to get around or you outright skip, that’s gonna cost you 10 seconds! At the end, the winner will be the one who completes the race in the fastest time, after deductions of penalties, of course. Aim for the top, my would-be pets! This isn’t a course for the weak.”
Twilight rolled her eyes at Rainbow’s speech before taking a glance out at the track and getting a good look at the obstacles she’d have to go through. She couldn’t see all of them, but she saw a large pool of water, some balancing beams, some large metal hoops overhanging a suspending platform, a large pool of mud, a giant empty pit, and several other obstacles. Twilight gulped nervously and once again began having second thoughts about doing this, since she knew she wasn’t cut out for such a course. She could always cheat with her magic, but she refused to win that way. Winning without honor wasn’t really winning at all. Then, something occurred to her.
“Um, Rainbow? All of these animals can fly…except for this tortoise and myself,” Twilight pointed out, “How is most of the obstacle course even…well, difficult for them? They can easily just fly over the pools of mud and water and that big empty pit. Plus, they can’t exactly balance on those beams, since their bodies aren’t made for that. So…how exactly is this gonna work?”
“Oh, Twilight, Twilight, Twilight…you’re so clueless, it’s adorkable,” Rainbow Dash giggled, flapping her wings and once more flying back over to her irritated friend. The Pegasus playfully gave Twilight a noogie with her clenched hoof before she gently tilted the unicorn’s head back and had her look up into the sky. “THAT’S their obstacle course up there. This one down here is just for you…and that turtle.”
Twilight squirmed and pushed Rainbow’s hoof away, but kept her eyes locked on the air obstacle course awhile longer. The course in the sky was all suspended by hundreds of balloons; judging from the colors, Rainbow Dash had gotten them from Pinkie Pie. There were suspended metal rings only large enough for medium-sized birds to fit through, there were large wooden poles with thick pieces of wood jutted out on all sides to dodge, there were very tiny openings in pieces of cardboard that would have to be flown through at the right angle, and many more unusual but clever flying contraptions. The course, like the one on the ground, also seemed to stretch across the sky in a circle.
“Whoa…but, how is that even possible?” Twilight asked, her mouth agape as she was stunned by what she was seeing, “Theoretically, balloons couldn’t possibly support that much weight; it doesn’t matter how many are tied to something! And how is it that the balloons are just staying floating in the places where you put them? This is illogical and totally confusing! Dash, what did you do?”
“Uh…I, like, got Pinkie to lend me some of her balloons…duh,” Rainbow Dash scoffed, as though she had just been asked the stupidest question in the world, “They’re Pinkie’s balloons…it’s best not to ask how they work exactly.”
“But…but…but…ugh!” Twilight hated it when Pinkie always did something that made no sense. No, it not only angered her, it outright infuriated the unicorn. But, there was nothing that could be done; Twilight just pretended that this made about as much sense as a city being built on the clouds.
“So, while you and that silly turtle are running this course down here, I’m gonna be monitoring the TRUE competitors up there,” Dash explained, motioning with her head up into the sky, “But, don’t worry; I’ll keep track of your finish times with my automated stopwatches that are synced to stop automatically once the obstacle course is run! All you have to do is wear them around your neck and they’ll start as soon as you begin the race and won’t stop until the course is completed!”
“Rainbow, that sounds quite advanced! Where on all of Equestria did you find such devices?” Twilight looked up at Dash with eager eyes, her tail wiggling behind her excitedly as she waited to hear where Dash had acquired such advance technology.
Dash paused for a moment, her eyes shifting from side to side, before she gave Twilight a very sheepish grin. “Uh…well…I was kinda hoping that you’d just use your magic to modify two of my stopwatches to do…what I just said. I, um, don’t exactly have automated stopwatches synced to start and stop on command, you see.”
“…Dash, you drive me crazy, you know that, right?”
“I can’t help it I was born this cool, Twi.”
Grumbling and thinking about giving Rainbow Dash a good lecture, Twilight forced herself to be the bigger mare and just let Dash have her way. When the Pegasus held out two stopwatches, Twilight focused on the small objects as her horn ignited with magic energy. She gently levitated the stopwatches out of Rainbow’s hooves and fashioned one around her own neck and one around the tortoise’s next to her. She then concentrated even harder and was able to sync the stopwatches up with her and the tortoise’s body movements.
After another pause, the tiny screens on each watch flashed blue, and Twilight’s magic subsided. Proud of herself, Twilight gave the little tortoise a pat on the head and gave Rainbow Dash a big grin. “Ta-da! Using my magic and knowledge of anatomy, I modified these two stopwatches to start as soon as I take a step onto the obstacle course. The same holds true for my tortoise friend here. They will not stop until either of us come to a dead stop, which would mean completing the course. So long as we keep our bodies in motion at all times, these watches will not stop. It’s a rather complicated spell I used, since matching the motions of two bodies to that of a stopwatch isn’t easy and…”
“Blah blah blah, jabber jabber jabber…look, long story short, you got them to work, right?” Dash sniffed, rolling her eyes and having grown bored a long time ago.
Giving a huff, Twilight glared at her impatient Pegasus and gave a curt nod of the head. “Yes, Dash. These stopwatches will time myself and the tortoise while you watch your bird friends up in the sky obstacle course.”
“Sweet! That’s all I needed…and wanted…to hear!” Dash gave a happy grin and put her hooves on her hips while she hovered in front of the two longshots to become her pet. “Well, good luck to both of you, since you’re both gonna need it. Twi, try not to make a total mule of yourself this time, would ya?”
“Oh, don’t worry, Rainbow. I REALLY wanted to make myself look stupid last time, but you need not worry this time because I learned my lesson.” Twilight’s voice dripped with sarcasm, but Dash either failed to pick up on it or just didn’t care.
“Alright, then we’re all set,” Dash chuckled, stretching out her limbs as she eyed the impatient eight flying animals who had been waiting for the Pegasus to get done with Twilight and focus on them. “Start whenever you two want; I’m heading up into the sky obstacle course. This shouldn’t take long; once I’m done, I’ll come down and watch you finish. It’s sure to be hilarious.”
I’ll make you eat those words, Dash, Twilight thought, slowly bending her legs and narrowing her eyes as she set her sights on the obstacle course in front of her, If it’s agility that Rainbow wants, it’s agility that Rainbow gets. We unicorns may not be very fast, but as Rarity can attest to, we are very graceful. Just you wait, Dash; I’m gonna blow you away this time! Next to Twilight, the tortoise took five seconds to narrow his own eyes as he set his sights on the course, too.
Hmm…she looks so determined…weak body and all, Dash mused, taking one last look at Twilight as her flying competitors flew up to compete in the sky obstacle course, How far is she gonna take this? I REALLY don’t want to see her keep getting hurt. Why can’t she just leave me alone and let me pick a pet MY way? I just don’t understand how she thinks…heck, I don’t understand how ALL unicorns think. Twi, just be careful, okay? You’re still one of my best friends…it hurts me when I see you hurt. I laugh a lot, but…I’m not good with gushy stuff. Just be careful.
Twilight glanced to the side and noticed Rainbow staring at her, and as soon as she did, the Pegasus hurried to put on her black sunglasses so that her eyes couldn’t be read. Flashing Twilight one of her usual grins which could rival Vinyl Scratch’s, she gave the unicorn a little wave before taking off towards her sky course. Twilight and the tortoise were both left alone, and despite both of them knowing they had no chance in such a hard obstacle course, they weren’t about to give up. One was fighting for Dash’s attention, and the other was fighting to teach Dash a lesson. They couldn’t stop.
“This is only round two, little friend…good luck,” Twilight muttered, giving a nod to the tortoise as she lifted her tail into the air and gritted her teeth, “Okay, Twilight…on the count of three, burst out with everything you’ve got in the tank and never look back!” She didn’t pick up on the way the tortoise’s eyes seemed to light up when she uttered the word ‘tank’. “Deep breaths, Twilight, deep breaths…remember to use your lower body for your power and your upper body for your balance, and whatever you do…do NOT use magic to cheat. You’re better than that. Now, one…two…THREE!”
Unfortunately, since Twilight still was no track star, her timing was off. Just as she yelled out “THREE”, she tried to get a head start while at the same time trying to start after she had fully counted down without cheating with a millisecond. The result was she tripped over her front hooves and slammed face first down into the dirt. Her automated stopwatch was spurred into motion almost immediately. The tortoise, having used Twilight’s countdown for himself, had begun to move right after Twilight had face-planted into the track. The tortoise was in the lead.
Ugh…smooth, Twilight…smooth, Twilight moaned, mentally beating herself up as she spat out dirt and tried to right herself, Right off the bat, too. What’s wrong with you? Just do what Dash does and just run without thinking twice! Ugh, but I can’t do that…I can’t cheat and give himself a millisecond head start! Wait, what am I doing? I have to get moving!
Shaking off the pain in her nose, Twilight forced her legs into action and quickly passed the tortoise and focused on the first obstacle. Up above, Twilight could hear Dash’s shrill whistle signaling the start of her own race, and Twilight desired nothing more than to beat them at their own game. The exuberant unicorn spurred her legs forward down the rough, dirt track as she came upon her first obstacle. It was the pool of water.
Let’s see…seems to be…six by six feet…which means I should double six and take 12 paces back to get a running start and clear the entire thing, Twilight thought, doing some quick calculations in her head. She took 12 large steps backwards and focused heavily on the other side of the pit. She told herself to just leap with all she had and not to hesitate for even a moment. Not wanting to waste any more time just thinking about it, Twilight rushed forward. Just as she came to the edge of the pool, she took a hard leap. Her timing was nearly perfect.
Using her strategy of making her lower body do most of the work, she had given a mighty kick with her hind legs and had gotten a good jump. Her slim body easily sailed across the pool without touching a molecule of water. When Twilight landed with a grunt, she gave herself a small cheer of encouragement, but then kept moving. Behind her, the tortoise got to the pool of water, and when he tried to jump, he splashed head first into the pool and began to simply wade across. Thankfully, his stopwatch was waterproof; Twilight had thought ahead and had added in that extra feature.
The next part of the obstacle course was a series of ten hurtles that came up to Twilight’s chin, followed by five large punching bags hanging from chains that she would have to maneuver through. Twilight, high off her successful leap across the pool of water, was using her momentum to carry her forward, so she didn’t bother stopping to examine the height of the hurtles and how she should handle them. The result wasn’t pretty.
“Ow! My face!” Twilight had barely cleared the first hurtle, but when she got to the second one, her left hind leg ended up tripping over the top. Twilight plummeted down and smashed her face into the next hurtle, resulting in her eye getting painfully jabbed and her nose getting crushed. Now that she had been completely thrown off her rhythm, Twilight attempted to simply leap over the hurtles in her way, one at a time, but each leap was worse than the last.
“Ow! Ouch! GAH! Ugh! OW!” Twilight’s shrieks of pain echoed out through the track as she painfully cleared the hurtles, but not before enduring some serious damage. She had landed on her stomach four times, nearly knocking the wind out of her. She had landed too close to two hurtles, resulting in her getting two more bruises to go with the one that was already on her sore rump. On one of the final hurtles, she was completely spent and didn’t even get one foot off the ground, resulting in her basically doing a nosedive over the hurtle and crashing down into the dirt on the other side.
“HEY, TWI, YOU DOING ALRIGHT DOWN THERE?” Rainbow called out, glancing down from her own race and seeing Twilight writhing in pain on the ground.
“I’M…FINE…DASH…” Twilight yelled out, the rise in her volume making her clench her sore chest. But, now that she knew that Dash was watching her, she couldn’t continue to make herself look stupid. Spitting out more clumps of dirt, the hurting unicorn once more pulled herself up onto her hooves and tried to ignore the aches and pains in her chest, butt and face.
You’re…next…punching bags! Twilight snarled in her mind, lunging towards the slowly-swaying obstacles that stood in her way, You can’t keep a good unicorn down…Princess Celestia taught me to never give up…and I’m not giving up on this! Bring…it…ON! Behind her, the tortoise was just working on his first hurtle, which meant he was starting to climb over the top of it.
Twilight Sparkle made sure to try and time her lunges and movement perfectly this time, since she knew getting struck by one of the heavy punching bags could easily give her a concussion if it struck her hard enough. She successfully and gracefully dodged the first punching bag to the left, the second one to the right, the third to the left again, and the fourth to the right. However, just as she was about to clear the last one and advance to the next obstacle, her tired legs begged for rest and caused the unicorn to not quite make a perfect dodge. The end result was Twilight accidentally running into the final punching bag and having it swing back around and bash her right in the side of the chest.
“TWI, WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?” Dash screamed, glancing back down and seeing Twilight lying on the side of the track in pain. The unicorn was clutching the side of her chest and her gasping made it clear that she had once more gotten the wind knocked out of her. Just when Rainbow Dash was about to fly down and help her, the hummingbird came in first place in the sky obstacle course and distracted the Pegasus from doing anything except jotting down the time.
Can’t…breathe…I was struck…right in the side…can’t breathe… Twilight’s mind raced, momentary fear entering her heart, since this was one of the first times she had gotten the wind knocked out of her and thus basically had no air entering her lungs. Dash…I’m not gonna let you see me…as a weakling. I’m gonna do this…all the way through…to the final contest. I’m not ending it here…no way…get back up, Twilight Sparkle…BACK ON YOUR HOOVES! Being her own coach, Twilight once again forced herself back up, but a new added pain was throbbing in her side. She couldn’t take much more of this.
“Move on…move on quickly…this thing’s not over yet…” Twilight wheezed, getting back onto the track after shooting the swaying punching bags a dirty look.
After limping along a few dozen yards without another obstacle, Twilight managed to regain some of her strength, but the sores on her rump, the throbbing in her side, the scrapes and bruises on her legs, and the dirt caked on her face all still remained. Twilight tried clenching her teeth and just focusing on the next upcoming obstacle, but it was like walking through cement while having a heavy bag of bricks strapped to your back; it was something that couldn’t be ignored and it easily slowed its carrier down. So, when Twilight eventually came upon the giant pit of mud, she had to stop and catch her breath.
“Ugh…okay…same size as the water pit…same strategy as before…easy,” Twilight decided, once again taking 12 steps back and again charging forward. Unfortunately, since Twilight was not made for such heavy training, like Rainbow Dash and Applejack, she failed to comprehend the point of putting a mud pit in the middle of the course. It was made to test the competitor’s endurance and see if they could alter their strategy to properly clear it. When the purple unicorn took a flying leap off the edge, the pain in her hind legs instantly limited her mobility and her speed had drastically been reduced. She didn’t even make it halfway.
“TWILIGHT, WHY ARE YOU PLAYING IN THE MUD?” Rainbow Dash called out yet again, having tuned back in to Twilight’s face just in time to see the unicorn poke her head up from the middle of the mud pit, “THE MUD IS COOL, I KNOW, BUT YOU’RE KINDA WASTING TIME.”
Moaning in humiliating and agony, Twilight scolded herself for not realizing she had been weakened and therefore naturally couldn’t clear it with the same strategy as the water pit. At the start of the race, she had been strong. Here, she was weak. It had been a mental lapse on her part and she knew it. But there was no time to dwell on that now; she had to keep moving. Slapping wet mud out of her eyes and spitting out spools of the wet dirt from her mouth, Twilight kicked her hind legs and swam to the other side of the pit.
“This is…so disgusting…and so embarrassing…I feel so faint…” Twilight groaned, rolling her eyes up into the sky and taking a look at a random, passing cloud. When her hooves finally touched the opposite side of the pit, the mare paused for a second to gather a bit more strength, then pulled herself out. Instead of shaking herself off, she kept the mud on her body and just kept moving. She looked worse than Rarity did during the Sisterhooves Social event, but she didn’t care; there would be plenty of time for cleaning herself later when she finished this stupid race.
Now basically just dragging herself along on her spirit alone, the muddy Twilight came upon the three metal rings that hung suspended in the air by an overhanging wooden platform. In front of each ring was one of the balance beams, indicating that the competitor should be able to use grace and good form to leap from balance beam to balance beam, going through each hoop while doing so. This would test balance as well as good coordination. A sigh escaping her dry throat, Twilight weakly leaped up onto the first balance beam and did more calculations in her head.
Each jump needs to be exactly the same, and I must clear each hoop and land on the next balance beam if I want to do this properly, Twilight thought, giving a quick nod and sticking her tush into the air as she prepared to jump, Okay, Twilight…don’t overdo it, but at the same time, use enough oomph to make sure you have enough momentum to carry you through. Come on, Rainbow is watching…
Taking her time to make sure she did this right, and to make sure she didn’t incur more physical pain, Twilight shook her rump back and forth in the air as she glared at the first metal loop and bent her legs down. Giving herself a silent three-second countdown, and making sure she actually did it right this time, the unicorn leapt off the beam and soared through the first hoop unscathed. Her body majestically flew straight through the middle of the ring and she managed to land on the next support platform without so much as a wobble.
That’s one…don’t get cocky…now, the next one! Twilight grunted, put her rear in the air again, bent her legs, and did the same exact thing. She cleared the second ring the same way she cleared the first. Yes! Now, after you clear this third one, you’re almost there! C’mon, Twilight, focus! Starting to reclaim some of her momentum and enthusiasm, Twilight got into the same stance as she had the first two times. Just as she was about to leap, Rainbow Dash yelled out again.
“THE OWL FINISHES IN SIXTH PLACE!” she bellowed, “WITH TWO PENALTIES FOR 20 ADDED SECONDS, THAT’S A TOTAL OF ONE MINUTE AND FIFTY-SEVEN SECONDS!”
Distracted by Rainbow’s voice, Twilight’s third jump was slightly off. Her front hoofs slipped off the front of the balance beam, so when she attempted to make her leap, she only got half the height as she had the first two times. The result was her landing roughly right on top of the bottom part of the ring, hanging like a limp ragdoll in the air. The hard thrust of having landed on her stomach yet again nearly knocked the wind out of the unicorn once more, and when she weakly tried to get off the ring, all she could do was weakly squirm and thrash her four legs around like a dog being lifted out of a bathtub.
This is…so humiliating…oh, Princess…please, PLEASE don’t ever find out about this! Twilight whimpered to herself, and still refusing to use magic to cheat, she instead leaned herself forward and gave a weak buck with her hind legs. The forward momentum sent her teetering over the edge of the ring and landing, once again, face first into the dirt. Thanks to the added height, this time the fall nearly broke her nose.
“Forehead…hurts…bad.” Twilight pulled herself to her hooves, her eyes watering and her body close to being shot. “Nose…feels…broken.” Twilight limped along the rest of the way towards the final obstacle that stood between her and the finish line. “Posterior…has more bruises…won’t sit for weeks.” Twilight whimpered pathetically, her legs screaming for her to stop and rest, but her mind refusing. “Chest…feels weak and sore…can hardly breathe.” The unicorn peeked over the side of the large, empty pit and saw that it dropped down a good 10 feet. “Legs…feel like jelly…can barely move.” Not in her right state of mind, Twilight threw caution to the wind and just threw herself over the edge of the pit without even taking a few steps back. “So dizzy…must rest…but can’t lose…can’t let Rainbow down…”
Twilight Sparkle expected to be met with another painful face plant and body slam, which would probably further damage her frail body. She closed her eyes and braced herself, continuing to refuse to use her magic to just teleport across. If she was gonna drop out, she wanted to do it while actually giving it her all and not resorting to cheap tricks. She was no earth pony and she was no Pegasus, but she had heart, and she knew that if anypony had enough heart, no obstacle couldn’t be overcome. But, when she didn’t even get halfway over the pit, she knew that only more pain would greet her in a second.
Rainbow…Dash…I can’t fail you…this can’t be…happening… Twilight sobbed, her body going rigid as she froze in midair, I’m too weak…so weak…I’m such a failure. My magic…is my mask. It’s the mask that hides my weaknesses…but now Dash can see…just what a loser I am. I’m sorry…for wasting your time, Rainbow…Dash?
She had been expecting to fall straight into the empty pit, but she seemed to be suspended in midair. She wasn’t using her magic, and there was nothing underneath her, but yet the confused unicorn wasn’t falling. When she opened her eyes, she heard the gentle flapping of wings. She looked up and saw a familiar face smiling down at her.
“Hey…ya know, I think you forgot to adjust your stopwatch to add in penalties,” Rainbow Dash chuckled, softly holding onto Twilight with her hooves pressed gently into her sides, “I’m afraid that…you’re gonna have a lot of them. Having good old Rainbow Dash save you is gonna be costly.”
“Dash…I…you didn’t…why are you…what?” Twilight blinked in shock, squirming a little and stubbornly trying to pull away. “This…isn’t fair…you can’t just help me out…I wanted to finish by myself…”
“I want my pet to be strong and tough…but not like this, Twilight,” Dash whispered, gently carrying Twilight along and carefully setting her down only inches from the finish line, “And…we all need an extra hoof now and then; even I know that. But, still, you started, so you’re gonna finish. Cross that finish line, Twilight.” The Pegasus stepped over the line herself, then sat down and smiled at her friend.
Huh…she really does care enough…maybe…maybe she does know…what it takes to own a pet… Twilight smiled, weakly inching herself forward towards the white chalk line in the dirt, Maybe, just maybe…I am in the wrong here. Maybe this really IS stupid for me to be doing. But…if that’s the case…then why do I not feel the resolve to quit? Why…why is my heart telling me to keep going? This doesn’t make sense. My head, which I always listen to, is telling me to stop being such a foal…but, my heart…what is this feeling? I don’t…I don’t understand. My books never said anything about a part of the body being stronger than the brain! With one deep breath, Twilight Sparkle finally crossed the finish line and collapsed. Her stopwatch clicked off around her neck as soon as she did.
“Let’s see…your final time…four minutes and thirty-two seconds,” Dash mused, gently pulling the stopwatch off Twilight’s neck and eying the final number, “But…you get a penalty for messing up on the hurtles, you get a penalty for letting a punching bag take you out, you get a penalty for landing in the mud pit, and you get a penalty for having yours truly save you from the empty pit at the end. That’s 40 extra seconds added on, so your final time is…ouch, five minutes and twelve seconds. Um…well, that’s second-to-last, Twilight…since your turtle friend is still out there.”
“Ugh…tortoise, Dash…tortoise,” Twilight wheezed, weakly smiling up at Dash and giving her a little determined glare, “And…don’t think I’m out…just yet. I’m still not quitting. Thanks for helping me, but…this isn’t over…until the fat mare sings!”
“Well, she’s warming up her throat muscles, Twi…that’s all I gotta tell ya.”
While the tortoise was just finishing up wading through the mud pit, Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle sat together at the finish line, smirking confidentially at each other. Despite the intense pain surging through her body, the multiple scrapes and bruises on several areas, the caked mud covering up a good quarter of her lower body, her nose still throbbing, and her legs feeling more numb than when she stayed up for two straight nights studying…Twilight Sparkle felt good. Sitting there with Rainbow Dash and still not ready to give up, the unicorn felt good.
Rainbow Dash saved me…from myself. She really is a good friend. She’s tough and she’s rough, not to mention kinda rude sometimes…but, that’s her personality…and I wouldn’t have her any other way. Princess Celestia told me to make friends, and fate gave me Rainbow Dash as one of them. I wouldn’t trade her for the world. But, all the same…I’m still gonna make her eat her words and stop these silly games to pick a pet. I’m not gonna bow out until she sees the error of her ways. Ha…take that, Dash.
Man, Twi, you’re so STUPID! You silly little egghead, what were you THINKING? This is so totally out of your element! If I hadn’t caught you, you’d probably have to go the hospital! Your body just isn’t cut out for this, Twi…why are you doing this? What are you trying to prove to me? I know you’re strong…with magic, at least. You don’t have to be strong at all this other stuff…just for me. I care for you just the way you are. You’re one of my best friends, Twilight…seriously, you’re so STUPID. But…if you ain’t gonna quit…I’m just gonna keep working you until you do. No pain, no gain; prepare yourself, Twi.
“Um…hey, Twilight?”
“Yes, Dash?”
“Would you…maybe like to take a bath before the next event? That mud isn’t a good look for you.”
“…that would be lovely, Rainbow. Thank you.”
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I'd like to see Twi win too, but let's face it - she's egghead, and hardly does any physical labor. She's not agile or fast, or strong, her talent - magic and smarts.
Uh, the balloons would work just fine. As long as the downward force of the object being supported (caused by gravity!!!) is equal to the net upward force of the balloons supporting it it would float still in the air, not moving up or down. I can't speak for the rest of your readers, but I read Twidash stories for the accurate physics. Without that what's the point of even reading???
WAAANT MOOOOOOORE. yay :)
Rainbow's eyes grew board? Like, planks of wood?
WHY WAS NO ONE FREAKING OUT?
127974 Forgive me for not being all-knowing. I'm not perfect, and personally, I hated science. I write what makes sense to me and what I feel. You're probably right, but...that's not a reason why you should read stories. You should read them to enjoy yourself and because you want to, not to pick out things to nitpick about. Once more, I'm not perfect, and I'm not a super genius. No one is. I do my best for my readers and that's all I can do.
127998 I meant the other kind of bored. Sorry about that; thanks for pointing it out. Stupid similar words being spelled differently...
Another awesome chapter! Thanks for not rushing the story
Keep up the awesome work!
Dammit... have my 5 Stars, I'm thoroughly enjoying this
This is an awesome story!
Poor Twilight though!
img.ponibooru.org/images/de/deabe69ad62f09448d0c4e7b9d6f5b6c
Yes, Yessss, please keep up the good work my good sir.
this chapter was brilliant, using the situation to make them start realizing their feelings like that
and her legs feeling number than when she stayed up for two straight nights studying
you used the word number as in 1, 2, 3, when you meant to say 'more numb than when she...' It's just like how you say 'more stupid' rather than 'stupider'.
Other than that great chapter, I'm looking forward to how this all goes.
I like where this chapter is going! Twilight's determination is great to see, and she did manage to do well on a few of the obstacles just on her resourcefulness and wits. It was touching to see Rainbow catch her at the end, too - I think Twilight's finally starting to get through to her and demonstrate just how cruel the testing really is.
This is a rather good story. One minor quibble, thought, the sports equipment you jump over is a "Hurdle" not a "Hurtle." Though Twilight does seem to be doing a fair amount of hurtling too
Man, Part of me is staring to hate dash, but then I see her helping and caring for twi and I am happy again.
One just let twilight win one! and where are the rest of their friends at?
128006 I though it was obvious I was being tongue-in-cheek, but I guess sarcasm doesn't always come across well on the Internet. For the record though, I don't actually care too much about accurate physics in pony fanfiction, especially when it's for a minor background detail that only comes up once.
Yep.
Thanks, I thought you had stopped this one for TMPI or something. Buen!
Caring Dash and Stuborn Twilight. Good chapter.
Rainbow Dash is egotistical, brash, self-centred and arrogant...
BUT WHY DO I LOVE HER SO MUCH?!
"Twilight looked up at Dash with eager eyes, her tail wiggling behind her excitedly as she waited to here where Dash had required such advance technology." Well duh, I knew she was waiting there. And seriously, requirements these days are off the charts. You need advanced technology just to meet requirements, what happened to good old fashioned spirit and effort?
(just pulling your leg there, friend, when I find errors I tend to try and make a joke out of it)
“Would you…maybe like to take a bath before the next event? That mud isn’t a good look for you." “…that would be lovely, Rainbow. Thank you.” *clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop*
You're lucky, Tailslover13. I've been out of it the last few days and haven't been leaving massive comments like I usually do
. I'll bother you later. Great chapter, by the way! I liked this one a lot. It's great to see Dash warming up to Twilight a little more. I hope you had as much fun making this as I had reading it! 
127946
At least not all the contests are athletic. RD also tests for talent, style, and "awesomeness", am I'm certain Twi could do much better in those, though not without weird looks from her friends, of course.
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129102
Dammit...thanks for pointing those out. As much as it humiliates me to see myself make sure stupid errors after all these years of hard work and writing so much, I appreciate you pointing them out to me. After all, I'm not perfect, and you all help me out like the nice readers you are. So, thanks very much.
128614
Oh...sorry. I thought you were actually...never mind. Yeah, it's hard to know what's an insult or what's just playful sarcasm. Sorry about that.
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129102
To be honest, I didn't really feel all that enthused about writing this. I don't know why. Sure, it's got a lot of watchers and people seem to be interested, but...I kinda felt that it...lacked something. I can't really explain it. Maybe it's from some comments I get that make my sailboat's sails lose their wind. Seeing people complain about Dash's personality...seeing my lack of science knowledge get pointed out...seeing my stupid errors pointed out...having people whine about Twilight's rump being mentioned too much...I dunno, I just kinda lack the enthusiasm with this story that I have for "Trip Of A Lifetime" and "Total Magic Pony Island" and the secret third story I plan on writing in a bit. Maybe I'm just being a baby...but, I don't know. Don't fret, though; I don't start something with the intent of not completing it. I WILL keep working on this. Just saying that don't expect it to be too fast.
128263 I concur my good man
Man I was waiting for this next chap for AGES but the wait was totally worth it
129418 I'm sorry to hear that you feel like that.
I know you know this, but honestly nobody's trying to put you down and discourage you. That just needs to be said. It's too often that nobody tells the author that they're appreciated.
This will come off as..... I don't even know, meh or cheesy, I guess. But it seems like you haven't had fun writing this story. I know that sounds really vague, but if you don't enjoy doing something it ends up influenced by that, you know
? When you're writing this fic, try to do what you want to do, not what you think you should do or what makes the most sense. Enjoy writing this. That's why you're doing it in the first place, right 
? Don't try to make the story down-to-earth. This is your world and you can do whatever you want in it, so don't restrain yourself, allow yourself some freedom to breathe in. It feels like you're suffocating in this fic. 
).
Oddly, I get the feeling that's what you're doing for some reason I can't place. If you have fun with this, then it'll come off as something far more enjoyable. Putting yourself to the grind and expecting it to be just as good as something you're enthusiastic about just doesn't work.
I've definitely noticed that indescribable sense of boredom you described when reading the comments and fic itself. I can't place it to any one reason, but seriously, have fun doing this. There's no better way than that. If this fic is eating at your conscience because it's lacking that certain something you can either find a way to fix it or keep plowing ahead for the sake of finishing the project (which sounds like what you're doing, and doesn't sound fun at all
Ha, that came off sounding really mean. That's the best advice I can give you. Even I sound unenthusiastic about this though. It's weird, I'm feeling all lethargic. I'm probably just tired though!
129522 Well...that's kinda what I'm doing. I'm kinda writing what the readers want, and not really what I want. I know that's really stupid, but...negative comments and seeing people who outwardly write "I'm dropping this fiction because Dash is too rude"...they really get to a person. I won't go into details, but I'm restricting some of my own wants in this story to satisfy the readers. I'm also kinda doing the same thing in "Total Magic Pony Island", but to a lesser extent. At least in "Trip Of A Lifetime", I'm doing whatever the hell I want and no one is stopping me. But...I don't know. This fiction seems to have a lot of attention, and when that happens...I just don't want it to fail. You get what I mean, right? That's why it's taking me so long to do this one. I feel obligated to do so.
129688 I see where you're coming from there.
But remember the words of Twilight Sparkle, Season 1: Episode 15.
"If you try to please everypony, you often end up pleasing nopony, especially yourself."
Food for thought.
I understand wanting to give us what we ask for, but to purposely deny yourself just for us readers isn't what we want at all. It's delightful for us to see your work, in it's good points and bad. We didn't stick with this story until this point because we wanted to write our own fic, it's because we enjoyed yours so much. The haters can go write their own fic if they don't like this, that's not your problem. You have great talent as a writer and plenty of people love what you've been doing with this story. Trust yourself a little more. The greatest artist were always controversial anyway.
That's what I think at any rate. Take it how you will.
This is a great story. Don't let criticisms get you down. I've found Dash very in-character so far. I like how although she's making fun of Twilight, you show that she's really very worried about her. But since Rainbow Dash has a reputation for acting a certain way, she's afraid to break that. That's pretty much spot-on.
We've only had brief hints at romance so far (Dash's focus on Twilight's uh, plot.) and I'm really interested to see exactly when that comes into play. TwiDash is a great pairing, the concept for this fic is great and I really hope you don't release chapters until you're sure they're good. Take your time and try to enjoy writing this.
127974 lol if the overall density of the balloon-obtacle-course system is equal to that of the surrounding air, the buoyant force will equal the force of gravity
129688 people think Dash is rude in this fic?? Jeez, they better not read mine... In mine, she's manipulative as well
Rainbow seems pretty cannon to me, she is rude but at least she is showing concern, if other people dont like it they can go and read something else, its your story we have no right to tell ya what to do, you are the author, this story is your idea, its your world
) then at the end its going to become boring for you and for everyone else, ignore the negative comments, you are doing an amazing job with this fic 
you should write whatever the hay you want
if you write because some sort of duty sensation and not from your heart (wow cheezy
- sorry for the grammr, im not native and im mostly self taught, my school sucked at english
129688 I know exactly what you mean! A lot of times when I write my stories end up being what the readers want, and not necessarily what I had planned. Negative comments about plot hurt lol
132239I know right?
127989 BUCK YEA!
I've been waiting for this to update. <3 Great story. I love how Twilight is starting to feel what's happening inside. Dash should be following soon enough~ That moment near the end where Dash helped Twi was really sweet, too.
129988 & 131792 Yeah.... I feel sort of bad now, because I was one of those people who complained about Dash
. It's not that I ever thought she was truly out of character, it's just that at the beginning I felt like we weren't seeing enough of her concern for Twilight. It bothered me when we were only seeing her being mean to Twilight. Once that got cleared up it was all golden to me. 
Please don't give up on this store, I'm really enjoying it.
story* Damn autocorrect.
I may be a johnny come lately when it comes to being a commenter but... for what it's worth my own two cents is to mostly agree with dash is best pony in regards to writing what you love rather than writing what's expected of you.
If it makes you feel any better I'm rather enjoying this story and all of it's adorable awkwardness. I much prefer my authors to write things because they enjoy writing rather than because of some misplaced sense of obligation. As an avid reader and a longtime bookworm I can usually tell when an author is forcing themselves to write out of obligation, it rarely ends well when they do. My personal recommendation is to take a break think about how you want to tell your story and then write from there. I'm certainly not going anywhere and am content to wait if that's what it takes to get yourself back on track with a story.
On another note I just thought I'd throw this in at the last second, I forgive you for all of your flaws.
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at what point did I become interested in twilight sparkle's horrible attempts to become a pet? why am I still reading this? what compels me to cheer on the weirdest shipfic I have ever read?
Loving the story. There are some errors though.
That himself is rather awkward. It looks, based on context, that a myself would be better.
Again, this is awkward. You can either remove the and (i.e., Moaning in humiliating agony), or change the bold word to its noun form, humiliation.
127974
This coming from the man who said "screw gravity!" and has an upside down A for a name.
lol but seriously, this story is shaping up to be pretty awesome, even if Twilight seems to be taking a beating. It's all about the charm! AND THE BALLOONS!
" My magic…is my mask. It’s the mask that hides my weaknesses…but now Dash can see…just what a loser I am. "
Twilight magic is her muscle, not her mask, it is like telling Earth Pony that she is phateticly weak because she can not levitate anything while she hide behind her strength as mask, futhermore, not only Twilight magic is stronger then Big Mac strength, even without magic she is strong and tough, so as much as I understand that this is meant to be funny, I get annoyed that Twilight is hardly better then turtle ( Tortoise ) in here.
As for RainbowDash, I do not care how cocky she is in the show, she would never go so hard on Twilight, she may help her sometime, but most of the time she tease her, cut points from Twilight just for her own amusement and make fun of a hurt and tired friend, RainbowDash is acting far worse then Gilda did in her episode.
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Agreement on all counts.