So, have you ever thought much about time? It's a fascinating topic. But as much as I would love to talk about it all day, the truth is that we know very little about it. So, what happens when somepony breaks time?
Well, that's what this story is about. For this is the story of the first big time crisis since Twilight sent a message to her past self. This is the story of how Starlight Glimmer broke the timeline, and of how she set out to fix it with our help. After all, who better to help fix the timeline than those who have been working with time for years?
- Extra Time, Keeper of the minutes for the Time Ponies.
For a story centered around time travel, paradoxes, and the like, the timeline is really straightforward. Probably because all the time travelers are trying to avoid causing any more paradoxes.
I will be going into the science of time mechanics, but don't worry, I'll stick with entry level stuff. I'm no Twilight, just a high school graduate with a collage physics textbook.
Also, the Queen of Hearts in the title is not the one from Alice in Wonderland, they are a canon character you likely know. No crossover tag after all.
- R, the actual author. The other guy is just an in-universe record keeper.
Now with a reading.
I like how you used the TARDIS design for the Doc's lift, and even had the bait and switch of it decidedly not being bigger on the inside because of the association with the TARDIS.
I am british, and to be fair the doctor can be however they are in your story as they can be however in the show itself. Constants that are there however is not liking violence, rules, and the phrase "demons run when a good man goes to war" (even though that phrase is Matt Smith's Doctor and not David's Doctor)
Also, I half expected the TARDIS design would be used for the dimensional travel device, although it still could with the in universe explanation being something like "we're traveling up and down in time instead of forward and back, so I made it look like my lift!"
Also, thinking of the title makes me think the biggest villain from the alt timeliness will either be Crysalis (as the queen of the changelings, who eat love) or possibly the wasteland world is because of an evil queen Cadence disguising tyranny as love and just wasteland-ed the area that would be ponyville.
My mother hates it when people say that.
And will go on about it at length, sometimes.
This is a fun read so far. Hopefully this can be continued soon!
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I was inspired when I realized that the Doctor's workshop was similar in layout to the TARDIS interior. From that I decided he should have an elevator that had the outward appearance of the TARDIS to reach the workshop. I'm glad you liked it.
P.S. I used lift for the dual reasons that it is an older name, predating electric elevators even, and because again, he is British, so he uses the British words. It's those little details that I pride myself on. Doing the research to make a factually accurate story of time traveling magic unicorns.
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You'll have to wait to find out, but I think you will like it.
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Yeah, his misunderstanding made for an entertaining side plot but I didn't think it would be a good addition to the main story.
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I'll give you this one. It is spoilers, but nothing major. It is indeed Chrysalis in the title, but she may not be the biggest villain out here, merely the first major threat they will face. Also I like your idea for the wasteland world, but will refrain from confirming or denying the identity of that world's foe.
P.S. No longer a spoiler if you've read chapter 4. Probably should have said that sooner.
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I can only promise intentions for the entire story, but I promise results for the parts I say I already made, for it was truly claimed. Half the reason for my delay is to keep a buffer to maintain a good schedule and the other half is because the
eighthchapter felt right for Valentines Day.Seventh.
Sorry, totally forgot this was today.
P.S. The most interesting part of writing this chapter was the debate about politicians. Sure, it would have been easy to simply say 'politicians are bad' and leave it at that - indeed that was my original plan. But then I recalled a piece of writing advice dear to me: Unless the point of the work is to persuade don't make the world/setting/characters line up with your worldview at all times just because that's how you feel on a topic. Not to say the author can't or even shouldn't promote their worldview, but they should be subtle/tactful about it. Besides, evil politician jokes are almost as ubiquitous as evil lawyer jokes, and I enjoyed the challenge of thinking up a counter argument. It was easier from an emotional standpoint, though harder rhetoric to think of, than the next time this idea of not trashing my ideological opposition comes up in this tale.
The ones you call Infinity and Beyond are pony version of a couple from one of the Bioshock games. The player encounters them, and they ask you to flip a coin. They are studying probability, yet their chart of Heads and Tails is very much skewed towards one, and not an even distribution.
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I had seen that on Fandom Wiki, but that doesn’t prevent a secondary reference. I thought it was rather clever of them, if it was intentional, and amusing regardless.
P.S. They are probably doing something far more complex than simple coin flipping, since we’ve pretty well figured out the basics of probability. Or they’re crazy, I don’t know much about that series.
First of all, the idea for setting up the worth of a bit is a good idea for if you plan on writing a number of transactions in the future. But also, the year you equate it to could cause discrepancy (not enough mind you) if I wanted to figure out the equivalent worth in GBP due to crossing Decimal Day.
If going by direct from the current time, each bit is £2.19 and I can’t be bothered to figure out pre-decimalisation value of that for the correct year.
I also don’t know if taking the value from the 1890s dollars then converting to current time would give a different value, although that shouldn’t happen.
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The biggest difference between which year I chose, at least for American currency, is the relative price of different things. I didn't know about decimal day. Ultimately the precise value of a bit isn't important, only that it is consistent.
Ok, I was about to say something about the dates before I realised they were US style after quoting. I’ll say it anyway because funny joke.
“The first day of the twenty-second month? But there’s only 12 months!”
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When I was little I always thought the order was a little odd. I didn’t realize that British used the format I found apparent. By now the years of practice have made me default to month first though. Like how I prefer the concept of Imperial measurements and Celsius, but I have a harder time telling what they mean due to a lack of practice.
One thing to note about chain mail is that it is quite resistant to slashing weapons, so that could be something interesting to see if it comes up.
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When I responded the first time I forgot that commenting on the main page defaulted to the latest chapter. I have three chapters written and I am still writing the story, but I wrote up a story board before I even started chapter 1, so I feel confident saying that this story will finish.
Technically it's not Valentines day here yet, but it's Valentines somewhere, including where Golden lives. At least, I'm pretty sure they live in Britain.
Anyway, happy Valentines day, have a love sucking army 💜.
I'm sure y'all don't mind an early update.
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You would be correct, I do live in Britain.
Interesting chapter, I am eager to see what will happen with Inky as well as if the trip to Tartarus would be eventful or not, potentially with Crysalis waking up part way through and asking where she is and what is going on.
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This is my favorite sort of comment. You answered one of my questions, you like the chapter, and you predict a plot point that was neither overtly hinted at nor intended to surprise.
Sleep spells are nice, but seldom permanent, and Tartarus is quite a trek from Ponyville. Also, Chrysalis is the single most powerful enemy warrior in this world, the supreme ruler of the enemy nation, and the titular villain. She should have multiple scenes.
Is there a tune to go with the song, as I kinda had a generic one going on in my head while reading it, or is it just lyrics?
What’s Starlight going to do with Alt-Chrys’ magic? Unless it will be stored forever? Did she give it back after leaving her in the cage? Are Tartarus cages resistant to all forms of magic? Man, I’m full of questions today.
Some parts were confusing as to who was speaking because you didn’t put any names, such as in the following:
It also made it difficult to know just how many were taking Chrysalis to Tartarus, although I think I correctly figured out it was just Starlight and Minuette.
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There is a tune, here it is:
I decided to make a cover of a preexisting song so I didn’t have to come up with the tune.
Chrysalis’s magic. Q and A time!
Q: What’s Starlight going to do with Alt-Chrys’ magic? Unless it will be stored forever?
A: That’s a secret. Sorry, my lips are sealed.
Q: Did she give it back after leaving her in the cage?
A: No. This is in large part because:
Q: Are Tartarus cages resistant to all forms of magic?
A: Yes, but Starlight doesn’t know that. At least, I think they are. The best way to test would be Discord... who has already overpowered the cages. They are apparently fallible, and I don’t know their precise limits. And Tirek appears to be capable of breaking out on his own as long as Cerberus is busy. Oh! And Pinkie can slip in or out at will. These things are supposed to be inescapable, but I’m starting to think Minuette had a point.
Thank you for your questions, I will make note of this.
There were indeed only the two prison transport ponies. As for the who is talking, the section you highlighted is helped by the previous paragraph.
Does that help? And I went through and added some names whenever I felt they would help in the rest of the chapter, you can look over it again if there remains any confusion. As always, thank you for taking the time to say what you liked and what you felt needed improvement.
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About the part I’d highlighted, I realise that was one of the easier ones but I was just going for an example to show what I meant. I’ll be skimming through to see the updated name work now.
Edit: Yeah, looks like it is improved in the parts I was actually confused on. Good work.
I can absolutely see this ending with either the Time Ponies that go on the Quest being chosen to be bearers, the elements aren’t there (and are in fact held by the changelings), or something else which would be unexpected to the ones inside of the narrative.
The Time Ponies with their own set of multi-positional elements of Harmony could be something interesting. Or maybe we find they are similar to the infinity-stones, in that they only work within their own universe.
Hmm… so many thoughts…
I await the next chapter to see what the future holds.
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(Insert my maniacal laughter upon reading your comment.)
Clearly, any direct confirmation or denial would be a major spoiler, so I won’t tell you, but I do feel like thanking you for making my day just a little nicer.
(More cackling followed, and my sister asked why I was laughing. I told her it was about my story and she responded: “Ok, so evil DM laughter.”)
Sorry about the delay. I forgot to post this chapter yesterday. I hope you enjoy it anyway.
This was a nice chapter. I’m a little late due to only recently having time to read it, but I liked the building of Fluttershy’s being drawn to one (presumably kindness) while also having originally misinterpreted Starlight’s maliciously gentle talking down of the bullies to be kinder than it was supposed to be.
You know what I'd like to see in this story? NMM joining them into helping changing the timelines, her Celestia becoming mad and helping Chrissy conquer the rest of the timelines and Infinity and Beyond having to deal with an existential crisis because they might have done something bad in the past
Quite interesting about the use of Shining Armour for the protection shield, and it would be interesting to see what will happen when/if they come across inky while in changeling form.
Cover art is a shoddy recolor of "The Worst of All Possible Worlds".
10/10, love it!
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It's recolored? I thought it was the same colors.
Oh. My assistant informs my that can mean edited. Yes, with the blessings of the original artist I just erased the words and the pony is recolored.
Thanks for the support. :)
Ooh, this world's Twilight is evil? How devious of the changelings.
I do, however, believe that the implied plan of taking over multiple worlds will not go as smoothly as they expect, for they would have to go through the "Prime Timeline" first, which would not only end in their defeat at the hooves of the mane six, but there is also the possibility of Discord.
Which, by the way, I'm mildly surprised that Discord hasn't caught on yet and asked what's happening when Starlight's available to be questioned. I realise there is the whole "Discord is irrelevant so far and therefore does not show up" thing, but still. You'd think that he'd at least do something upon detecting multiverse travel.
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Devious is the changelings’ middle name.
This is the same Discord who was unaware that his two best friends in the world were replaced by changelings, yet heard ‘Everypony with powerful magic is gone!’ and showed up. What is he aware of? I don’t know! My current theory is based on evidence from Twilight’s Kingdom. Remember how he only found Tirek after he was told about him? Now, we could say he already knew and just didn’t care, but I’m thinking he can only sense strange magic if he’s looking for it when it happens. So if he were aware that multiverse travel was happening he could easily find them, but he isn’t looking yet.
If he ever finds out... Well, let’s just say he already lives in a separate dimension than we normally see him in.
Ok, now we're talking, the whole gang is back! You know you can actually write it up until they meet nightmare moon and make the rest of it a sequel to this one
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I do plan on making this a multiple book series, though I have a different break point in mind. I'm glad you're enjoying it so far.
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At least make nightmare moon work with them just to spite her sister
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If you want to see Nightmare Moon plotting against Celestia as the nominally good guy, might I suggest The Empty Room? It's a personal favorite of mine.
P.S. That's not a yes or a no, I will leave that a mystery for now.
Ah, a fine use of this Equestria’s version of “Arcanist’s Magic Aura” (or Nystul’s Magic Aura, if you want the other name of the spell) on the fake beacons from Inky.
Another thought: This time Pinkie’s element seems closer to “The Element of Moral” rather than Laughter, which I can somewhat understand as her original earning moment did also involve improving moral.
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Well, the way I see it the Element of Laughter is the descendant of the Pillar of Hope, so it isn't just amusement, but specifically the idea of finding joy even in the darkest times. Not that she won't laugh and be silly when spirits are high.
Ah, a fellow DnDer I see. I think I actually skimmed the Pathfinder spells list to find an example of aura manipulation as research for this chapter.
Oh. I see, this chapter’s release date had a typo, it was supposed to come out next week. Oops.
Ah well, I think I can keep up with my schedule anyway, so have an early chapter. Happy whatever obscure holiday today is.
Ah, the International day of Friendship! That’s what this is celebrating, sure. Let’s go with that.
Ah, so the "I'm on your side" interrogation method, pretending to be on the side of Chrysalis in order to get some information surrounding the circumstances of Other!Twilight and an attempt at the fate of the Sisters.
I actually wonder what happened with NMM in Chrysalis' world, as she seems to not have any knowledge about it.
It’s odd that the show creators didn’t make a female difference for the Changeling till they got reformed. But there was a way to tell by just hearing their voice since in the quest episode in S6 finale I think a female one did spook and looked like all the others.
So far I’m liking this story. I love the time pony lore here and it’s really fitting for MLP then having another Doctor Who take but there is the manga so there is a Doctor Who of MLP out there in the multiverse.
Anyways let’s see what happens next
I wonder what that evil is? Could it be Groger, Evil Starlight, Trixie with the Alicorn Element, or Pony of Shadows?
Oh… do you mean chapters are done for this story and we have to move to the next story instead of having chapter arcs? Kind of thought this would keep going.
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I was uncertain exactly where the cutoff should be between this book and the next. There was always going to be multiple books, but the first one was originally going to include what is now the first two, due to expansion beyond my original plans.
But if you are asking whether the end of the book is the end of the story, don't worry. Think of it like Harry Potter. This plot line is (mostly) wrapped up, but the sequel has most of the same characters and directly follows the plot of the first (I.E. The Time Ponies hang out in the Changeling World at one point.).
Ultimately I was never going to be 100% satisfied with either way of slicing the pacing, but I went with the one I thought fit the story better, and both of my prereaders were at least accepting of the way it ended up. I hope you will find it, if not perfect or how you would have done it, then at least sensible and not detrimental.
Oh, and those last two chapters go to this book, not the next one. Just in case I wasn't clear. That's why this is still labeled unfinished.
Any way that this finds you, I appreciate your question and feel free to ask anything about the story and I will answer. (Aside from future plot stuff. You can ask those and I even enjoy it sometimes, but I am unlikely to answer.)
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Question will they be saving the world that got taken over by Changlings in this story? That’s understandable, having multiple books makes sense.
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I can understand why you would ask that question, but it falls pretty heavily into spoiler potential. Instead, I will answer like so: They do not 'save the world that got taken over by Changlings' in the next book. Whether they succeed in this one, fail, or some third option, that I will not say. Or that fouth option that I hadn't thought of before we had this conversation, so it clearly isn't right, but it could fit and has the sort of tone I might pull off.
But I can say with confidence that the break is far cleaner than if it were made here instead of in two chapters.
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nothing wrong about just bringing the ponies who lost their world to the canon world. I am sure there is enough room 
Was this word supposed to be in, as Google tells me, Dutch? I had to double check what it meant, being a non-english word in a story that hasn't had many or any others so far.
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Oh dear, 2 or more full pinkie pies would do the world no good.