• Member Since 23rd Sep, 2014
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Lil Snowflake


A creative Pegasister with a love for writing stories.

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Eleanor Wolfe has been a Pegasister since she was a little girl. Her favorite ponies have always been Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy. One night, she watches one of her favorite episodes, and Pinkie Pie extends her hoof through the television, beckoning Eleanor to take her hoof.

Curious and taken by Pinkie Pie's character, Eleanor takes the hoof and is transported into the world of Equestria. However, the Mirror Pool makes one tiny mistake, Eleanor emerged from the pool as Surprise from Generation 1...

Will Eleanor accept her fate as Pinkie Pie's Pegasus twin, or will she be able to find a way home?

First two chapters take place during 'Too Many Pinkie Pies'.


Cover Art belongs to the talented and awesome Imalou.
Pony Designs belong to Imalou.
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic belongs to Hasbro, DHX Studios and Lauren Faust.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 24 )

A few beginner's mistakes, but nothing too glaring. Seems a fun premise. I'll give this a look.

Great work can I ask why did you change it from Ellie to pinkie pie to Ellie to surprise ?

10816601
I thought it would make a better story. Since Pinkie Pie is the reincarnation of Surprise.
^_^

10817657
Ok thank and you are right it is a better story I can’t wait for the next chapter

Well this was an interesting start! Very curious to see if the main 6 will try and force her back into the pool after this. Looking forward to the next chapter!

This is going to end with Ellie getting zapped by Twilight, isn't it?

Is there still somebody there?

hay do more I like were this is going:heart:

More I beg of you please

I love how this story is so far. Do you have any plans to continue this soon?

Okey. A new chapter was a Suprise!

Cool, an update!

I forgot all about this story.

That's a good setup, let's see where it goes.

Let the shenanigans begin!

Finally, how long has it been?

Anywho it’s been a while, keep it up!~

Hop rainbow can teach snow how to fly can I ask will her cute mark change or will it stay like pinke pie but I will be purple

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I'm not sure. Do you think I should?

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Not sure is your story I don’t want to tell you what to do If you want to leave it I won’t mind I will still read your story because you do good job

A pretty nice chapter, but I feel the ending is rather weak.

After rounding up the Pinkies, our main character kind of just disappears from the story. She doesn't say anything, do anything, or really react at all to what's going on, leaving us with a line by line recap of the scene playing out exactly as it did in canon. There's plenty of room there that could be used to develop her character. Is she scared what might happen if they send her back? Sad for those who were? She could be proactive enough to point out the real Pinkie early or call Twilight out on the foolishness of her plan.

Twilight and her friends' treatment of her also seems rather callous. They talk about her like she's not in the room and decide her fate and name without even asking her opinion. They dub her "Pinkie's responsibility" like she's some kind of stray animal. That would have been a great time for her to pipe up with something like "By the way, I'm not a mindless magical construct like those other clones. I'm a real thinking pony with my own hopes and dreams. I may have been literally born yesterday but I'm my own pony and I'd like a say in my future."

That opens the door for lots of new paths the story can take. Maybe Twilight wants to study her to find out why she's different from other clones. Maybe she has the biology to fly but not the natural instincts and she can form camaraderie with Scootaloo in flightlessness as they both take lessons from Dash. Maybe Rarity would want to talk with her to see the perspective on fashion from a pony whose never seen any before to color her opinions. Not to mention how you've already planted the seeds of something between her and Big Mac. That could even be a source of conflict if Applejack thinks she's not good enough for her brother because she's not a "real" pony.

The story is, of course, yours and you can do whatever you want with it. I'd just advise you remember to make your main character the active protagonist and not just a passive observer.

It's here I been waiting, exited for this.

Really threatening her after she helped them. Her origins might be odd but she just as much as person as they are and they wouldn't want that.

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