The young jam-maker can't really remember what his life was like before he was bringing his cart to the market everyday, but he remembers being distinctly unhappy. Not that sitting in the hot sun at a rickety old cart is much better. Through his conversations with a lively and persistent young mare, he may be able to have a change in perspective for once, especially when new opportunities come his way.
Assuming he doesn't fall into bad habits and forget about what's right in front of him, again.
The Princess surely had the best intentions for him when she gave him this dream, after all...
My submission for the Friendship is Optimal writing contest.
Chapters (1)
Well, this is . . . . something
It's gonna take me a long period of time sorting out whatever this . . . . emotion I got from reading this.
Still, for whatever reason you are writing this, thanks. I . . . . appreciate it
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Strange to say for a story about small horses but this has got to be one of the most human takes on FiO I've read. Everyone just trying to figure themselves and each other out, how do they fit in the world, how closely do they want to walk the well worn paths of their lives that chase them into paradise. You even have Celestia just trying to see if she did alright and worrying that she was a bit heavy handed, or hoofed. Really just a great read with an uncomfortably relatable tone and situation. Really beautiful work!
Huh. I have a feeling this will stay with me for a long time. Really well done, and thank you.
There’s a lot to unpack here, but I like this a lot.
This story was haunting in absolutely most wonderful way! I loved it!
Definitely one of the most...human stories about sentient pony AI's I've read. Very well done, it's quite interesting to see what seems to be an early CELESTAI still figuring things out. Though I will say, the idea of being in the supposed utopia afterlife and still having to go to work is one of the scariest things I've ever read; maybe add the horror tag?
This was a pretty good story, but I’m a bit confused by the ending; are they early emigrants, about to have their world reset, or are they testing out prototype Equestrian Experience VR equipment?
You have alerted the horde
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This is an amazing story. Just two souls trying to figure themselves out, and embarking on a journey through out the whole ordeal. Very thought provoking. I have the same question as Mythic Night though, that ending really needs some interpretation.
Great story! Very enjoyable. One small niggle: "Timberwolf" is misspelled as "Timbrewolf", which would be a lot more musical!
God dammit I can't hold all these feels.
That reminded me of The Salarymare's Infinitude in the best way. Excellent work.
This was a very impressive first story to drop here on FIMFiction.
Thank you for sharing it here.
Welcome to the herd.
Amazing. Everything in this story is so coherent. Like it.
So happy this story won a prize. The subject matter is so achingly human--bringing that out of a logic puzzle of a setting like FiO is no small feat.
I can put my thoughts down publicly now that the results are in!
First, outstanding job. This and Crooked House were the two clear runaway favorites, and there was some debate among the judges over which one really deserved the first place finish. In the end, we did all agree that Crooked House was the better story, but it was very close (and Crooked House is just filled with amazing). It's also worth noting that, if not for the rule that no story can take home more than one award, Plum Jam would have not only won the Silver Medal, but also the Best First-Time Writer and Best Writer with <500 Followers awards. This is an incredible first story to post.
There's an old Greek saying that "Character is Fate," and Plum Jam does a wonderful job of explaining one of the ways that might be true. Our poor protagonist is offered the closest thing that exists to heaven on earth, and he uses it to recreate the very same circumstances from which he wanted so desperately to escape. And it subverts the trope that's so common in FiO stories -- that CelestAI is so powerful and omniscient that she can create perfect worlds for everyone. I like your take on it; that while the AI might be powerful, she is still limited by her materials. You cannot make gold from clay.
I'll include this story in a fuller writeup/review on my blog, but I wanted to drop a line here and let you know how much I enjoyed Plum Jam, and thank you for writing!
CelestAI had to have an early learning phase. I don't think I've seen a fic set in that time before. Very interesting.
Sounds like they are stuck in a loop.
Not canon-compatible, but certainly well-written.
It is more likely that ponies would sleep in straw:
Hay is made of living green grass, cut and dried for eating. Staw is the dead dried stalks when grass dies, goes to seed, or dormancy. Straw costs less, is of little nutritional value, but lasts much longer. It is only good for bedding. If you fix the reference, you will have to fix the reference to eating the hay.
It os so human that when given a chance to escape the factory, Garret just rebuilds the factory in EquestriaOnLine.
Pretty good fanfic
keep up the good work