Equestria's Hitman.

by The_Chill_Author

Chapter 8: A Flower Among a Field.

I open my eyes as the sun lets itself in the window. I had been sleeping in the closet for a while, actually, since I got here. I should really get a house, later, that is. I groaned as I got up from the bed, and on to the floor, popping my bones like they were bubble wrap. A note hit me on the back of the head, I turned around and it came from the window. I hear giggling.

“Celestia…” I growl as I open the letter, as I open it, the face of Celestia appears with a kazoo in her mouth. She then blares into my ear, demolishing any chance of me going back to sleep,

“Dear Hit

Goodmorning Hit, a new day is a new friend. You might be wondering what this message is for, I’m just assigning you a job. Get a pet. That’s right, obtain a companion that will stick with you through and through! Pets are the best friends of everypony, and this is another step towards your goal. Go and talk to Fluttershy, she has tons of pets! And sorry for the kazoo, I was too excited.

Love, your Princess of Equestria, Celestia.

P.S I can’t wait to see your pet, maybe we can do a play-date with my phoenix and whatever pet you may have.”

“Like hell.” I then crumple the paper and obliterate it with my Ki blast. “Though a pet doesn’t sound too bad.” I admitted, I walked out of the closet and into the main room. The smell of salad filled my nostrils. I walked over to the kitchen and saw Spike preparing dishes.

“Oh, good morning Hit, I’m making breakfast salad, do you want any?” Spike asked, I glanced at the drake and I shook my head.

“No, do you know where Fluttershy’s cottage is?” I asked Spike, glancing at the drake, Spike tilted his head.

“Uh, she’s just on the other side of town, why'd you ask?" Spike asked me, I crossed my arms, and sighed. Normally I would have not said anything but Spike is growing on me, he's a good kid.

"Princess Celestia has given me an assignment to get a pet." I told Spike, Spike's eyes opened wide.

"Oooohhh… Wait, for what?" Spike asked, I then got ready to walk out, I held my hand on the door knob and gave Spike one look.

"What else? Friendship." I spat, the word made me feel funny, I shuddered at the word and I walked out the door. When I walked out the door, Celestia's sun shone onto me, I looked up and it was smiling. She was mocking me, I hate her so much. As I walked down the streets I was given a plethora of greetings, I ignored their greetings and glared. But then I sensed something and looked to my right, there it was, a tree. In the tree was Celestia herself, covered in camo-gear with a spyglass, a book and quill, hiding in the tree bark with a hole the size of a basketball in it so that she could see out of it. It was a really nice tree- Wait, why am I talking about damn trees?! She was jotting down notes about me as well, stalker much?

She began to hum and I approached her, she then noticed that she was spotted. “Shit!” She said in a loud whisper and vanished from sight… But then I sensed that she was hiding under the peak hole. I turned towards her and crossed my arms and looked at Celestia. There was silence, and as ponies walked past me, they only saw me glaring at a tree. She then teleported out of it, now transformed into a Unicorn with pink hair and a white coat, wearing fancy clothes that were a mix of white and yellow. Much like what usual nobles wear, she smiled like she knew me, which she does.

"Salutations, "Never Miss" Hit, or is that just an ephit?" She asked, I still glared at her. "Well… Ahem, my name is Ce- I mean, Solar Flare, I'm a Lord, I own most of the south." Solar Flare introduced herself, I stared at her.

"Eu vou te dizer o que você boceta gorda." I began to speak in my native tongue. "Você é chato e meio que ferrou minha vida. Agora estou aqui cercado por pôneis empinados que são estúpidos. Sério, metade desses pôneis não sabe o que é um meteorito. Isso é o mais comum no espaço também, provavelmente porque só há uma escola aqui e é para crianças?" Everyone looked around me like I was speaking alien… Which I was to them at least.

"Uh… What are you saying?" Solar Flare said with a smile, sweat began to roll down her empty skull like a bowling ball. Twilight walked up to me, note and quill, I hadn't even noticed that she had arrived.

"What are you saying, Hit? Are you speaking your native tongue? An old language? Where are you from? And-" I then cut her off by putting my hand up in front of her.

“Deixe-me esclarecer, o que diabos é amizade? Como isso me ajuda de alguma forma? O que é realmente? Tenho sido um Hitman por mais de mil anos, eliminando ameaças do mundo. E você não pode me dizer que ela me arrastou para esta cidade esquecida por Deus só para me foder! TÃO DEUS COMO MINHA TESTEMUNHA, TEREI MINHA VINGANÇA!!!!" I said with pure wrath, I then raised my fist high and shook it at the sky and like that, Solar Flare/Celestia teleported away. "Bitch." I muttered under my breath before I put my hands in my pockets and continued walking to Fluttershy's Cottage.

Twilight ran up next to me, "Wow, what did you say to that mare? You seemed so… What's the word for it?" Twilight asked, I huffed and put my hands in my pockets, I walked with a quickened pace. "Hey! What's the matter?"

"It's none of your concern," I huffed out as I pushed forward, Twilight frowned before teleporting in front of me with her hand out. I stopped in my tracks.

"I will not stand this! I AM your friend, you are living under MY house, and I want to know what's going on with MY friend!" Twilight said, looking up at me, my eyes opened wide as I didn't expect her to… What was the word for it? To be defiant.

"If you want to know, fine, she didn't give me good money one time during a contract." Which wasn't entirely a lie, Celestia said it was a "Friend's Discount", what a jackass. "This was before I met you." I clarified as I spotted Fluttershy's cottage in the distance.

Twilight's eyes widened in surprise, clearly shocked that I. "Oh, well, uh… Can you work it out? I'm sure that she could-"

"Enough of this nonsense." I then stopped time, and she froze in place. I then proceed to walk to the cottage. And within a minute I was at Fluttershy's door. Tapping my foot, I continued time, as I heard Twilight calling my name I knocked on Fluttershy’s door.

“Wh-who is it?” Fluttershy squeaked out, I looked back at Twilight only to find her gone. I had evaded her, for now.

“It’s Hit.” I told her I heard an audible “eep”, I could hear her hiding behind her wings. “I come to get a pet and thought I should ask you first.” To my surprise, the door opens and Fluttershy peeks out, looking at me.

“You want a pet…?” Fluttershy asked, she then opened the door fully and I had to take a step back to prevent myself from getting hit.

“Yes, I…” I was about to say that I was assigned a mission by Princess Celestia to get one but ultimately decided against it. “...I just want a companion.”

Fluttershy smiled sweetly, “Come in, come in! I’m sure you would like some of the animals in here, they’re all really nice.” Fluttershy said, I walked in and immediately all of the animals were wary of me. “Listen up everypony, this is Hit, he is somepony- er, someone who just moved in. And he wants a companion, he’s been alone all this time, so it would be really kind of one of you guys to step up and give him some companionship.” Fluttershy said, the animals looked at each other and some went forward. Fluttershy motioned me to crouch down, so I did. In front of me was a little snake, a rat, a toad, and a boar.

I then fully sat down and looked at them, I awaited them. Waiting for them to come for me, to choose me. There’s one thing I learned from Pokemon, and it’s that the Pokemon - in this case animals - do the choosing of who they want to be with. None of them went forward and after a while Fluttershy was about to say something when the little snake came forth. It slithered towards me and I had to force myself to not smile, I stuck a finger out to it and it wrapped itself around my finger and went into my palm.

“Hm, I like this one, what is it’s name?” I asked Fluttershy, Fluttershy smiled as I pulled it up to Fluttershy.

“Her name is Tulip, she is the cutest and most curious little thing.” Tulip slinked over to Fluttershy’s hand. “When I found her she was lost, she was being teased by a bird, so I told it off and made them make up. Afterwards, Tulip was attached to me but she’s so adventurous. Always wanting to see the world, can you show her?” I looked at her quizzically.

“Show her what?” I asked her, she smiled.

“The world.”

---

I looked at Tulip who was in her cage, we were now in my room, I looked around to make sure no one was looking. I then look back to Tulip and I…

I smiled.

Author's Note:

I'm sorry.

I am so, so, so very sorry.

I have been struggling with this chapter for the past few months, I wanted to put more but I didn't know what to say. I want my chapters to be 3k words, 2.5k minimum, but I couldn't pull it off. I desperately need a crossover. Anyone, any displaced, if you're out there, please, crossover with me.

Comments

[Theresa]

11176604
Considering how mad she got when Applejack tried to loophole her way out a promise I can't imagine her pulling the same stunt.

[The_Chill_Author]

11176609
They never Pinkie Promised, and never said that anyone would find out. They only said that they wouldn't tell anyone, sure, Hit could wear a mask but Pinkie's mindset is that if you wear a mask, no one knows if you're smiling.

[KarasAdamas]

Some words are missing from sentences, other than that cute chapter.

[PrinzEugen]

The Portuguese part was so funny since I can understand it a bit.

Pasa un felis atardi(a languege close to Portuguese.)

[The_Chill_Author]

11259225
Uh...

*flips through pages*

They have hands and feet... And have fur... Horns... And wings depending on the race.

"Furry."

Fuck off Alucard, this isn't even your story, wait your turn.