• Member Since 11th Jan, 2015
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Bluespectre


All these moments will be lost, like tears in the rain.

T

Lyra heads a team of archaeologists and young volunteers on their spring break during one of the hottest days of the year. Underfunded and understaffed, what should have been a fairly interesting dig turns into a nightmare when one of the newbies decides to investigate an unknown magical source that had been buried not only in the earth, but in time itself.

Chapters (12)
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Comments ( 42 )

This really cool. I like that you wrote all of it and posted it. I will read it later. Cheers!

Immediate thumbs up for posting 174000 words in one go

This fic was Just posted no waiting for more chapters and the title pic that looks like it’s from rule 34 i feel like this is going to be a good one and if any kids see this don’t look rule 34 up!

Alright, posting 174k story in one poof is really cool. I'll save it until the weekend (gotta work without distractions smh lol). Thanks and upvoted :twilightsmile:

jesus christ all in one go?

10759129
Yeah, but after reading loads of fics where the author just stopped uploading chapters, I felt it was unfair on the reader to keep them hanging on in suspense for something that might never be finished. It might take a while to do, and my editing is admittedly not the best, but at least you have the whole story in its entirety.

I just hope you enjoy it! :twilightsheepish:

orp

Could use significantly more paragraph breaks. That aside, it's very good - looking forward to finishing the rest of it... whenever I happen to manage that.

Personally, I don't really mind unfinished fics - but even then, like other commenters said, it's very cool how you dropped the entire sizable novel-length work at once. 'Mirin the flex.

Comment posted by anomoly deleted April 8th

10759538
What is under a horses tail? If you think about it you should be able to figure it out.

You might want to crop the picture a bit more because you can still see part of her anus and I don’t know how picky the mods are. You don’t have to crop much maybe just the bottom inch.

Comment posted by anomoly deleted April 8th

10759564
Luckily it’s only a small part of her anus but it still needs a bit of trimming.

10759843
Don’t be embarrassed about it or anything I recently saw a story that had a nsfw picture as the cover art with no trimming what so ever, I don’t know what happened to the user though. I think they removed it before the mods got ahold of it.

Comment posted by StubobNumbers deleted April 8th

Why des it sound like Lyra's going to be the one to 'tune' their portal ... :pinkiehappy:

Coverart sauce: Derpibooru and search for 2031216 NSFW

i usually don't comment, but this was fun. i blinked and it was four in the morning and the story was over.
absolute legend to drop the better part of 200k words in one sitting.
are you planning to write a sequel?

Is Lyra going to end up forgotten and forgetting everything herself while dying alone and invisible on a hill AGAIN?

:trollestia:


EDIT: Well, nailed it on one part of it. Sheesh, I hate it when MiB stuff is thrown in, but trying to be dark. Just totally missed the point. :facehoof:

10759559 Absolutely nothing at all! It's just all smooth unbroken skin and fur, just as God intended! :scootangel:

AJ, "Ain't no one buying that, ya perverted naked ape." :ajbemused:

10760527
Sarcastic reply or not, it does raise the question what happens to the end result of eaten food if it is just skin and fur back there.

The tan mare shrugged and replaced her sunglasses. “Ah, well that’s simple,” she said pleasantly. She held up the silver tube in front of Lyra eyes. “That’s because… you’ll never remember any of it.”

As with all fictional A-holes in these worlds, they don't realize I REMEMBER IT ALL.

And I visit them. Few survive the encounter! *Alondro, the darkest grimdark monster from New Jersey ever created!* :fluttershbad:

10760530 What do you mean? Equestrian food is 100% pure and wholesome, with no waste products whatsoever! :scootangel:

10760545
Then we should find a way to import some, it’ll make plumbing a lot easier.

10760547 Alas, it is the FOOD OF THE GODS!! Should mere filthy and unworthy naked monkey mortals like us dare to consume it, we shall become giant mutants infesting a 50's B-movie!

:trollestia:

Generally its recommended to post a new chapter every week or few days, so it gathers heat over a longer period of time, and therefore gets more eyes on it, but sure alright. I tripped onto this when I checked out the front page on a whim.

Damn! I did not see that coming. 😲

Ultimate flex posting the whole lot in one go

My guess the humans are coming from the Bermuda triangle and this is where they end up

Man, am I ever curious about what's at that dig site.

Okay, here my review firstly before I get to the story itself, due to me being dyslexic I found it incredibly hard to read every time it got a massive block of text, which happen a lot in this story, you really need to separate it more even if that meant more chapters overall
The story itself was an interesting concept, but I felt it was rushed, going from one part of the story to the next so fast lyra gets whiplash, from being chased by Pegasus, to exploring ancient runes running from monsters meeting human then working in the citadel so on, the pacing too fast, and it feel like lyra just following one character or another not really having a impact on the events she just there to make sarcastic quibs and swear.
you have many interesting characters but they never get explored enough in the story
Timber - she has a good rapport with Lyra, but never show up again at the end to be glad Lyra safe return, making her feel irrelevant to the story
Thirty Thirty - one of the most interesting characters, but just vanish from the story never comes back, the implied backstory he was the child of the Maester from human rape, never goes anywhere, and just used to literally get the plot moving along and just disappears near has confronted with Maester.

Maester/Lode both are this story main villain, but they never get enough time with lyra, both try to get her on their side to use her for their benefit, we get titbits of their character but nothing that happen in the story such as said above with thirty thirty, and loade with his daughter about hating humans and blue, no confrontation with lyra.

In fact the final battle of the story happen mostly in the background away from lyra, we never get to see the battle how the character react, or why lode faction wanted lyra and co dead, kinda wanted to witness the battle for the citadel rather than lyra escape.

And events happen so fast never really developed any connection to the other character or parchment so his death didn't have any impact for me.
the ending was also a disappointing, over to fast lyra getting mind wiped not know anything that happened, battle of the island explained not shown, somehow the plane apparent arrived in equestria secretly enough for blue to get lyra her book back, personally I would have had it hinted due to going through the portal the mind wipe was failing by having lyra singing to herself the song blue played.

I think I might have an idea behind the origins of the ponies in this world and this "Dark One". But we'll just have to see.

Also, there's a few places missing spacing:

“Eep!”Lyra’s heart leaped as she span to find herself face to face with a yellow coated mare,

that illuminated the well worn track which lead down to a breath taking panorama of the most beautifulbeach Lyra had ever seen.

She knew the way out!What a relief! Before longLyra would be back home safe and sound,

Come on, COME ON!She was going to die.

Okay, so...if I'm getting this correct so far and my reading comprehension isn't going off the wall, I'm a little off in my earlier guess but...

I still think the Dark One is Nightmare Moon from a thousand years ago. Originally I was suspecting she was the one sending them though the portal, but I suspect it was actually Galeus. It was either her own doing or by will of the Nightmare. Anyhow, unicorns are ordered to be killed so that no one wielding magic can figure out how to open the portal(s) again. In time, pony society here devoped more technologically from lack of magic. The Zeks are humans but I don't understand the link to how they came to power, nor do I understand what this medicine might be that keeps the ponies subjugated. They arrive periodically though storms and in various vehicles (my mind is conjuring up "Bermuda Triangle" here:pinkiecrazy:)

Okay so my guess was pretty on the mark. The Zeks are human, but at the same time, not. I'll bet that has to do with why they're in power. Whatever's going on to change them is malevolent in nature and we'll find out more later.

Not only that, but the sounds: the slapping, the grunting, the gasps, and… and the moaning! Lyra swallowed.

Ohhhh myyyy:rainbowwild:

Well, I've just finished reading this fic now and I absolutely hated every moment I spent doing so. But I guess that's what you were going for.

You've certainly managed to create a captivating setting; one where I felt that I had to read on or else I wouldn't get it out of my mind, even if I felt that I would eventually regret doing so (which I did).

And now you've topped the whole thing off with what's almost a Game-of-Thrones-Tier ending. It baffles me why you would write something like this when everything leading up to it shows that you could do better, that you should know better. That final conversation between Bon Bon and Lyra in Chapter 11 sickens me in a way that just makes me dissociate from the entire story. What was going through your head when you wrote this? Through Bon Bon's demeanour, you almost treat the entire thing like a joke, but Lyra's reaction shows that you know that it isn't funny. Seriously, what the fuck have I been reading?

I thought I could get a somewhat well-rounded story out of this, or at least an attempt at such a thing, but instead all I got was some kind of sadistic clopfest of all-around suffering. Is that what you were going for? I really didn't expect it until the end.

Part of me feels like I'm being way too overly negative and hostile towards you, but then again, this fic makes me think that you might be into that?

Yeah...I figured things seemed all too convenient to have Parchment of all ponies pop up like that and drop info like that. Something is very wrong.

Also, Blue....damn. Gone so quickly...:ajsleepy:

Considering the level of brainwashing and reformation she did to the zeks, whatever the fuck the Maester did to Parchment must've been a cakewalk.

I wonder what he would say if he knew?she pondered.

Spacing issue, missing quotes.

That....that's quite a twist right there.

Man, whatever is going on in this twisted world it's very, very split among multiple factions/points of view. Galius' diary was quite a valuable find though.

So Blue is still alive, but barely. And now he's stuck inside the last place where anyone wants him to be. Great.

Early on in the chapter I was wondering if Thirty was somehow linked to Celandine. Parchment mentioned something about her giving up her child. But I'm not so sure anymore.

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