I didn't know what I was expecting when I rushed to help an unconscious girl I found laying on the school grounds, alone with no memories. I didn't expect a mystery. I didn't expect to dig so deep into a rabbit hole. I didn't expect to find love.
On the way home, Sunset finds a girl, laid out in a field near the school, unconscious, injured, and with no recollection on who she was or what happened. Feeling the need to bring closure, Sunset decided to help the girl trace back her steps to where she found her. Along the way, they grow closer to each other. But their journey to find answers might give them the kind of answers that they won't want to hear. What was the girl doing out in the field? What was she running away from? Can she run away from them?
Rated Teen for hand holding, kissing, language, mentions of abuse, self-harm, and descriptions of injuries at the beginning, read at your own discretion.
Participant of the Pride and Positivity Event. Originally written for Scampy's Sunflower Shipping Contest. Special thanks to Secret Moon for editing and pre-reading.
Tracking for sure. I may wait for another chapter or two though to dig in. We'll see. ;)
10847164
Thank you so much! You’ll enjoy what’s to come.
10847172
Thumbs-up. I also just read your bio-line up there. In that light, if you do get curious and dig into my work at some point, I'd recommend starting with the Aria story. I feel it's the best written by far - experience being the best teacher and all.
10847184
Sounds interesting, link it to me and I’ll have a look.
I like what you have going here so far. The fact that it's a different progression of events from the movie lends well to the mystery aspect. Technically well-written in terms of grammar and such. Critique-wise, it could benefit from just a little more 'show' than 'tell' - but I realize, from my own experience too, that this is an easy thing to say and much more difficult to fully describe. I had a few good mentors over the years in passing that helped me with this. This is the first chapter, though, so I suspect more of that will come as we really dig into the events and feelings.
10848399
Thanks for the feedback! It's greatly appreciated!
Lovely story with heartbreaking elements and adorableness. Great job on it.
10880157
I’m glad you enjoyed it!
A lot of love, effort, and hard work went into it!
I finished this a couple of days ago, but didn't want to try leaving a comment on my phone keypad. Getting back to that now.
I think the pacing went well, and I really liked the way everything tied in a the end. The emotions where there for sure. Won't mention specifics for spoilers, but yeah.
10904544
Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
*reads this*
"Oh no please tell me this doesn't end badly"
*reads the ending*
*sits back for a few seconds*
...
DAMN. Just. DAMN MY GUY. TLD, you are AMAZING at writing. I loved this! The mystery, the suspense, it was all amazing. The writing felt right, everything clicked together like Legos. I think I shall be reading a couple more of your fics.
10923635
I’ve poured a lot of love into writing this. Truth be told this was the first time I’ve ever written a mystery fic, though I hope you like everything else I have under my repertoire. It’s not much, but I’m working on letting it grow.
I’m glad you’ve enjoyed my work!
Literally, as Rainbow Dash recorded herself yelling "Get going, before it's too late!" Twilight actually set up the alarm. Pinkie actually got the sound clip onto Sunsets phone. All while Rarity distracted Team Sunflower with fashion choices.
11036610
This! I wouldn't put it past any of them!