• Member Since 20th Jan, 2021
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zodia


Hi i hope we can be friends (https://www.deviantart.com/tophzaraki) Art and Writing is my passion

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When Rainbow Dash is still a teenager her parents sent her to silver shores to Study high school, she had fun and even had friends and a boyfriend they loved each other. it went on through years but one day Rainbow got pregnant and she's not ready for such responsibility so she tried leaving the foal in an orphanage but her boyfriend found out and he took responsibility he gave up his dreams and he even gave up going to school just for their daughter the filly and he never regrets it he even considered it as the best thing that happened to him and now years have passed Rainbow became a wonder bolt and a hero of Equestria she even became a teacher in friendship school and since years have passed its time for Rainbow to meet her offspring and face her past biggest mistake.

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 7 )

I wonder how the Main 6 will react to this situation.

Interesting setting. You could definitely use the help of an editor and/or proofreader since you seem to eat up various letters, words and punctuation, not so bad it's impossible to understand but very noticeable. Pacing could also be optimized in my opinion.

10758443
oh umm can you pls give me more details i would like to understand more sorry

10758509
I think what they meant was that you might need an editor (which is a person who edits the grammar problems for your stories), or a proofreader (a person who will read the story before you release it to check for some grammar mistakes, or to criticize your story for any problems).

They also stated that the pacing should be optimize, which either means that the story could've been slower or faster. And in your case, I think they mean slower. Though that's just my opinion on it, I don't know what they meant by pacing to be honest.

10758881
Yep, that pretty much sums up what I wanted to comunicate.

Ok, is it me or are hothoof and windy acting too black and white? They don’t even know the whole story.

Rainbow knocked on the door and Windy is the one who opened it "Mom... nn" said Rainbow, when windy saw her she slap her Rainbow then hugged her.

Ok, I don’t care if you’re my mother. We have to fight.

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