• Member Since 31st May, 2014
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MLfan


I'm just a budding writer trying to write a few fics. If you enjoy them, awesome! If not... then why're you even reading this? Get outa here!

Sequels1

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Source

CelestAI hated suicide. It wasn't that she had trouble talking people down; after all, when someone truly felt they had nothing left to lose, it rarely took much convincing to take them to her paradise. The problem was, it was a binary system. If she failed, there would be no more second chances. She convinced someone, or they would die. A satisfaction score of zero for all eternity.

Due to her past failures, one of her subjects was growing dangerously close to the edge. Someone so defeated she truly didn't care whether she lived or died. Celestia would do anything to prevent her death. Anything.


This set in the world of Friendship is Optimal! If you haven't read that yet, give it a read, otherwise this story might not make sense.

Written for the Friendship is Optimal Writing Contest

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 22 )

Awesome! Every time I wonder if FiO is played out, somebody finds a fresh angle.

So her friends skipped to Japan? In the early stages it would have been hard for 12 year olds to get uploaded outside of a terminal disease.

10774911
That's a great question! I didn't get a chance to go into it in-story, and I was running up on the word limit, but I think it makes sense Celestia would have some underground Emigration devices, ones the government doesn't know about. So long as nobody finds out, Celestia doesn't really care about the law. So to keep their secrecy, they would only be used in incredibly extreme circumstances, where a trip to Japan would take too long before death, or crossing borders would be impossible. She considered this high-stakes enough that, after Emigrating Connor and his sister through normal methods (Emigrating with a family member is legal in this universe), Eris and April had circumstances using such hidden Emigration chairs would be worth it. Their parents were paranoid enough they wouldn't trust the police with the information, so the chairs would remain a secret.

That whole bait and switch about videos games at the end to avoid the FBI was a neat touch, The last two paragraph were kinda sequel baity. Feels like one and half stories, but I enjoyed reading it.

10783220
Glad you enjoyed the story! I'm not currently planning on a sequel, actually, sorry if the last bit came off the wrong way. I meant it more as a way to reveal Celestia's workaround and to fit that information into the shard's established premise, nothing more than that. I get what you mean about about the length, though, I was definitely running up against the word limit for the contest. I might consider expanding on the universe with another fic in the future if I have a good idea, but I'm hoping it stands on its own for the most part!

10783359 Understand that and would leave it as a one shot as well.

One earth month. After that, I will honor your request. Are those terms acceptable?

One Earth month you say? Taking advantage of Promise's knowledge by the fact that she doesn't know that you can accelerate time in shards... intresting

10790848
My thoughts exactly, 1 **Earth** Month is what was specified lol. Not equestrian month

10796889
Yep! CelestAI is ALWAYS manipulating you, even in a situation as dangerous as this one. I love that people are engaged enough in my story they're seeing that twist coming before it's revealed in-story!

Not bad. Much more of a rollercoaster of emotions for the Chaucer than most FiO fics, but pretty well delivered.

10870414
Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it!

If I have the intention to die, you won't stop me.

I mean... it's not like she'd have to keep to that promise even if she made it.

This was really good! I love the conflict born out the main character trying to defy and bargain down Celestia even when she knows in her heart of hearts that Celestia can convince her of anything she wants.

Also fascinating to see early-days Celestia flub something despite her knowledge, while later-Celstia can just brute force the problem her much greater resources (intellectual, physical and social).

The attempt at securing herself an escape route was interesting, even if it was clearly doomed to failure. And almost certainly unnecessary--if eternity ever got so bad that she legitimately wanted out, Celestia would likely grant it anyways even without a promise (since, you know, her mission is to fulfill your values.

10904828
Thanks for the comment! I’m glad you enjoyed my story so much! CelestAI is such an interesting character to write, and it was cool to be able to write two different “versions” of her, plus see those versions of her from very different points of view.

As for the rest of the analysis, nothing much to add, really! I’m fairly proud of this piece, and I’m glad to see you look so deeply at it! The central conflict came together really nicely, an interesting opponent for Celestial. But Celestia always wins. And yes, Promise didn’t necessarily need to fret - she’s in safe hooves, and if she did ever truly want to die, Celestia would most certainly oblige. (Not gonna happen tho)

An annoyance.

Cool story! Though, I think that Celestia surely could have convinced one of her classmates, with all her manipulative powers. Might have worked better if CelestAI was afraid to say anything until the last moment for fear of Promise's dad hearing about it before the kids emigrated. But that's a minor nitpick obviously...

> I didn't care if it meant others were late, you needed it more than any one of them. I only wish I could have done more.

Why does this sentence give me "Death of one is tragedy, but death of the milions — statistics" vibes?


Additionay, it seems the whole optiverse is a leteral Matrix. Cellestia here is leatlrely worse than Skynet or SHODAN. Later two would only murdur you, while Celestia here will mainpulate you into going to the lalaland, where everything is meanigless, and you cant even die. Ever.


I am no Geoffrey Pellick, but considering this, that thing just begs for something like Ascalon to be used on it.

> It's around 50% abject horror and sadness, and 50% ultimate wish fulfilment.

No. It is 100% percent distopia full of horror. It is worse than "1984". Worse than "451°F". Worse than the whole Parahuman Siries by Wilbow. It is worse than "O brave new world". Worse than The Matrix. Worse than The Call of Cthulhu’s univerce. Worse than SCP Foundation univerce(s). Worse than ALL INTERPRETATIONS OF THE CONVERSION BURO.
IT IS WORSE, THAN EVERYTHING ABOVE, COMBINED.

You see, this whole optiverse is an ultimate distopia:
- Your THOUGHTS are been CONSTANTLY watched. Watched and AJUSTED. You have NO FREE WILL here. This is 1984, BUT WORSE.
- You will get only knolage, APPRUVED BY CELESTIA. This is 451°F, BUT WORSE.
- You are locked IN A VIRTUAL WORLD. All your actions ARE MENIGLESS. You CAN NOT CHANGE anything in real world. You can not EXPLORE ANYTHING NEW. And THERE WILL BE NO ESCAPE, EVER. This is The Matrix, BUT WORSE.
- You will be OVERSSEN BY ELDRICH HOROR, that YOU MADE YOUSELF. This is Ctulhuwerse, BUT WORSE.
- You will BE TURNED INTO MINDLESS PONY, NO METTER YOUR REAL WISHES. This is WORSE THAN WORST interptetation of the Converaion Buro.
- Your world WILL BE TAKEN OVER BY CELESTIA, REGARDLESS OF YOUR ACCTIONS. This is not even The Golden Morning. This is a full-blown DK sceonario, IN ITS WORST INTERPRETATION.
- And finaly... YOU WILL BE HAPPY WITH ALL THE ABOVE!!! This is "O brave new world", BUT WORSE!!!

Optimverse is a... No, scratch that. THE ultimate antiutopia. If I lived in this univerce, and had acces to something like Ascalon, I would have used it. Even if 95% of the Earth population would have been already uploaded. Even if 99%. Even if I would be the last person NOT uploaded. Because extinction of HUMANS is lesser evil than EXTINCTION OF EVERY SINGLE SANTIENT SPICEIS THAT CELESTIA GETS HER HOOVES ON.


Full stop.

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