• Member Since 28th Dec, 2020
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

Graymane Shadow


There's canon, and then there's "canon because it's a show for children with an E/I rating". The former is my playground, the latter I ignore at will.

T
Source

Luna suspected something was troubling Twilight, but she didn't realize just how deep the hurt went...or how close she was to losing her.


Art by FidzFox


Featured from 4/5/2021 to 4/8/2021, peaking at #1. Thanks, everypony!

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 21 )

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
That was my general opinion of the story, I loved it so much and at the same time my heart is crying :fluttercry:

Oh boy... This hit me right in the feels... Great story.

Bruh when she said


“Goodbye, Luna,” Twilight said, before she vanished.

I was like NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Xalok #4 · 1 week ago · · ·

Bloody Great work on this story

Damn, this story tugged on my heart strings... Very good writing here! :moustache:

I love it, both this story and the whole series :twilightsmile:

A good TwiLuna story is a joy, an excellent TwiLuna drama is perfection!

Aldon #8 · 1 week ago · · ·

:heart:

Never saw them as messed up ponies but this story really brought a new perspective of them as characters...thanks for the amazing story

My goodness... So many heavy emotions wrapped neatly in a single chapter! :raritydespair:
That was positively beautiful! :fluttershysad::heart:

10755666

I almost cut that part, actually. My pre-reader convinced me to keep it (which was a good thing!)

I'm not mean enough to drag out the resolution though.


10756740

They have challenges, but I stick to having them overcome them regardless. Obviously the show had limits on what they could cover, but as Do Princesses Dream of Magic Sheep? shows, Luna at least has some unresolved doubts and fears.


Thanks to everyone who commented!

Pretty cool story! Luna and Twlight are pretty much an uncommon couple in the fandom, but you managed to make them work together very well.

Also, the cover with them sleeping together is adorable. The moonlight shining trought the window is an amazing detail too.

This was a great read. An excellent look into Twilight’s psyche, of how even if everything she’s done right the heavy weight of failure will always hang over hear.

I loved how the last alicorn in the dream was tall Twilight. Possibly a projection of perfection that Twilight holds her to, thinking that’s what she needs to be. Which is rather fitting considering that in the future, Twilight will one day be that perfect tall ruler that she sees herself as, it’s just gunna take some work to get there.

Only thing that I though was off about this one was a bit off to me was the portrayal of Celestia here.

“Despite being in the position you are, you care for Twilight the pony , not Twilight the princess . My relationship with her has always been colored by my obligation to place the needs of Equestria above all others, which means I must think of her as Princess and Bearer first, pony second.”

This feels really cold and distance from the actual Celestia, who would probably be just as concerned if not more then Luna. The idea that she sees Twilight almost as a tool or chess piece is really off putting.
I know this is mainly done so it’s Luna who is the one to confront Twilight but I dunno, almost makes m me feel like it’s Celestia I who is responsible for the pressures on Twilight rather then Twilight’s own self doubt.

Still with that said a great read, and I hope we get to see more fics like this in the future

Twilight the Triumphant wasn't as good as you hoped? Well, it was brilliant even without this extra story. But this? Stop writing these breathtakingly beautiful stories. I'm going to pass out if I don't get enough air.

Seriously, though. You've got some talent. Have a follow, because I want to see your other stories. :heart:

10758538

Thank you for the kind words! I don't mean to come off as saying the first was bad, just that it could have been much more than it ended up being. Some of the parts of this story were from the cut sequence in Twilight the Triumphant where Luna helped her work through what the demon had just done to her. It would have slotted in between Twilight being knocked out and Trixie waking her up.

This fic went a long way toward making up for the shortcomings, and I definitely feel happier about things now.

I've still got more coming, though I will keep things mixed up a little.


10758532

I wouldn't read too much into this part. One thing to keep in mind, though I haven't been overly explicit about it, is that most of my fics are all building toward the larger project I've been working on for some time. Some of Celestia's statements will make more sense there, but as for this small snippet, Celestia makes the distinction of Twilight the princess vs Twilight the pony. That same split exists for Celestia, who has to be the ever-stable, ever-solid leader of Equestria, even if Celestia the pony might feel otherwise. And I do think her statement of "Twilight wouldn't open up to me if I asked" fits canon Celestia as well - Twilight has a major case of hero worship, and doesn't like disappointing.

Ultimately? I didn't want to bog down the story too much, as it was focusing on Luna and Twilight. That scene primarily exists to serve as a motivation for Luna to dig into Twilight's dreams.

tl;dr word of author is that Celestia is not cold, but she does wear the shackles of her position.


Thanks, everypony else, for your comments!

Pretty good to me. Cute, relatable, and likable.

10759772
Right I get where your coming from, looking forward to what you got next

You might want to consider adding a "sequel to X series" or something to this story. I really liked it, but was completely confused coming from the featured page on what the hell was going on. Haha.

Great story and I'll definitely be checking out the "prequels" to it now.

10765896

I thought about it. It's meant to be independent, really, which is why I put in slight references to the older stuff but didn't dig too much in. I may still add a mention to the description noting it's a "soft sequel".

This was wonderfully uncomfortable. I came across this via the feature box and I haven't read any of your other stories, but it was immediately apparent from the passing mention of Fanatus that there was a bit more of an explanation for Twilight's feelings than I was going to get in this short. I feel like it probably needs context to have its full impact, but it's remarkably feels-y either way.

I felt a little bit of vicarious indignation at the implication that the sisters avoid looking to Twilight for help more than necessary, though I guess this too might feel better with context.

I also got a bit of a Denethor tearing into some tomatoes vibe from the way you describe Celestia slathering her crumpets with butter and acting detached from Twilight. This eating imagery juxtaposed with her explaining the compartmentalization of their relationship does a really good job of making her seem aloof.

I might have to read those princesses stories.

10769055

I went back and forth on whether to include a few relevant excerpts from Twilight the Triumphant in the brief Fanatus section, but decided against it for narrative flow reasons. I'm probably going to update the long description on this fic to indicate it's a soft follow-up to that one.

You're not the first person who said Celestia came off aloof, though the Denethor comparison hurts, mostly because there's an element of truth there. Definitely wasn't intentional!

That section existed to give Luna a chance to expand a bit on her concern, and give her an outside kick to check Twilight's dreams, but I kept it short to avoid bogging the story down, as Celestia wasn't the focus here. Everything before Luna discovering Twilight's been hiding from her was added to flesh the story out a bit, but it seems I left a bit of bone in a few places.

Thanks for your comment!

Twilight is so low self-esteemed in this story… yet I liked it. I can totally relate to this kind of feeling. It's painful, yet you've made it beatuiful. :heart:

Thank you, my heart is aching now. :fluttershyouch:

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