The Best Advertising Money Can't Buy

by AlwaysDressesInStyle

Decide For Yourself

Ponies were a small market niche on Earth. A few companies had tried marketing to them, but their efforts had been futile. As a general rule, advertising wasn’t nearly as effective on equines as humans. Endorsement deals with celebrities and athletes meant little to them.

At least that was the general consensus in marketing departments around the world. Most companies were content to ignore the equine niche in favor of more predictable, not to mention, more lucrative market segments.

Coca-Cola and Pepsi had had no luck cracking the pony demographic, and quickly decided they didn’t care enough about that slim percentage of the market. If ponies just happened to buy Coke or Pepsi, all the better, but neither company saw a need to change their marketing strategies past adding a token pony to commercials periodically. Coca-Cola especially liked to do that during the Christmas season, as the ponies added additional charm and cuteness to their seasonal commercials.

But there were other players in the cola wars, one of which was Keurig Dr. Pepper. Their competitor to Coke and Pepsi was RC, a cola brand with less than a percentage point of market share. Most people weren’t reaching for an RC when they wanted a beverage. Nor were most ponies, simply because most of them didn’t even know it existed.

All it took was one mistake to change that.

---

Electric Slide trotted up and down the aisles of a Walmart, looking at the various products on offer. Ploomette was addressing the United Nations that evening, and had sent her to the store to arrange refreshments for the special guests, staff, and press at the event. But the staff also included the duchess herself, and Ploomette had one very specific rule when it came to the things she ate or drank: if she couldn’t pronounce it, she didn’t eat it. Period. The duchess was also fond of greasy takeout, which wasn’t appropriate for the occasion. If Ploomette had her way, she’d just order in a few dozen pizzas and call it good.

But that was why the duchess had staff, and she’d hoof-picked Electric to be her personal secretary and assistant. So Electric found herself in a bind – trying to find things acceptable for a social gathering with important human dignitaries from a multitude of foreign countries, as well as the duchess herself. People expecting the finest foods available, and one picky pony who wasn’t. She’d already cross-referenced the list of guests with the most popular dishes in their respective countries and had completed that part of her shopping already at other, higher-end stores. Those purchases had already been delivered to the consulate, meaning she was left with figuring out what, exactly, Ploomette would choose to eat. Something that wouldn’t make her look silly in front of an audience of humans and ponies alike. Pizza was out. Mac & cheese was out. All of her normal favorites weren’t suitable for a formal event. It would be easier if ponies weren’t herbivorous – the menus she’d found online for black tie events tended to favor meat dishes, especially steak. Usually the vegetarian option was helpfully labeled exactly that: ‘vegetarian option’.

She didn’t even know what to get the duchess to drink. She pushed the shopping cart down the beverage aisle. Ploomette favored sweet, sugary beverages like soda, but that really wasn’t appropriate for the occasion either. People would laugh at her if she had a Coke or Pepsi in hoof when everyone else was sipping champagne or wine. Sparkling grape juice, maybe? She’d read that was something often given to children as an alcohol substitute.

The blue box with red letters on it didn’t even register her attention as she passed it. Not until her eye caught the crown in the logo. Royal Crown Cola. She breathed a sigh of relief. Obviously that would be suitable for the event, and it was soda, so Ploomette was bound to like it. She loaded half a dozen boxes of the cola into her shopping cart, then pushed it back into the frozen food section, looking for something the finicky duchess might eat.

---

That evening, Ploomette addressed the United Nations on live television. On the podium, instead of the normal glass of water, was a can of RC Cola. The television audience was almost equally split between humans and ponies. Considering how many more humans were living on Earth, it was safe to say that the majority of ponies who’d crossed the portal had been tuned in to hear the words of the pony who was the closest thing Earth had to an alicorn princess, while only a few humans were interested in the goings-on at the UN.

Those ponies heard her words, and they saw her drink Royal Crown Cola on live television. Most assumed that it was a product that only royalty could get their hooves on. They were then pleasantly surprised to find it languishing on the shelves of their local grocery stores and big box retailers. If it was worthy of the duchess, then it was certainly good enough for ponies the world over. So they bought it.

---

That weekend, Saturday Night Live had a skit involving a pony actress pretending to be the duchess, with a crown suspiciously similar to RC’s logo perched atop her head. The ponies watching missed the sarcasm, and instead, all it did was solidify the image in their minds.

---

RC sales were up. Not enough to cause either Coke or Pepsi executives to lose sleep at night, but certainly enough for Keurig Dr. Pepper execs to take notice. RC’s advertising budget was reallocated accordingly. They quickly signed on to become the title sponsor for Earth’s buckball league. Television and print ads focused on ponies, often excluding humans entirely. While an endorsement deal was considered impossible due to Ploomette’s official position, the company instead started making routine donations of soda to the duchess’ charity of choice, the Catch-A-Wish Foundation.

Ponies responded accordingly. RC started flowing from the taps of pony-owned restaurants. Thanks to the donations sent to Equestria, it created demand in the pony’s homeland from those who’d gotten a taste, or had heard that it was the favorite of ponies living on Earth. As such, RC got a foothold in the market before Coke or Pepsi could.

All thanks to a picky eater and a mistake.

Comments

[Dan]

Good taste. RC is best cola, either plain or mixer.

[Roxylalolcat]

[NudeRei]

Excellent story! Now I'm going back to bed.

[Venerable Ro]

Huh, good for them.

Still ain't drinking it.

[Snowliasion]

Ploomette look what you're doing.

[Gyro Pony]

Ratings disabled ??
My upvote action has been thwarted !!

This is a nice short.
Sometimes getting straight down to the action works best. You made it work for this story

[Reese]

Heh. :)
I've not much to say here, but thank you for writing. :)

[Dan]

Apparently Blue Sky cola still uses actual kola nut extract, but none of the major soft drink companies do, including RC.

I'm not sure why. It's not like root beer no longer using real sassafras root due to it being carcinogenic. AFAIK, kola nuts aren't dangerous and still chewed for caffeine in Africa.

[AlwaysDressesInStyle]

10747330

The only thing I can think of is it might be too expensive.

I've never heard of Blue Sky Cola, but you've caught my attention. RC's my personal favorite, which is probably obvious.

[fanreader999999]

10748335
It is certainly more expensive but it is DEFINITELY harder to procure the quantities needed for a global product.

As for the story itself, stories like this not as uncommon as you think. The blaster used by Han Solo is a standard issue Mauser pistol (modified for the movie of course). Literally millions of them were produced up until the 1930s but after Star Wars the gun became so popular the supply for them disappeared into the hands of collectors and fans.

[ClosetBrony]

I love RC Cola! Thank for the chuckle.

[Dan]

Y'know, it's a shame Her Grace is limiting herself. There's plenty of awesome foods that I'm sure she'd love, yet are difficult to pronounce.

Pho, sriracha, tzatziki, okonomiyaki, surströmming, wastunkala soup, spanakopita, etc.

Now I'm imagining the Consulate hosting a surströmming feast, partly because pegasai fell in love with it, and partly to annoy and horrify Blueblood. Not a completely original idea, though.

[DiscoPanda84]

One interesting thing I've noticed with RC is that people who like Coke but dislike Pepsi usually find RC acceptable, and that people who like Pepsi but dislike Coke also tend to find RC acceptable.

Another thing I've discovered is that Diet Rite Pure Zero (their diet version basically) has loads of sucralose in it, which for me makes it Diet Rite Pure Head Pain. Kind of how I discovered the effect that that stuff has on me, actually. I really wish that companies would quit putting that stuff in so many products, it doesn't even taste any good...

[A.P.O.N.I.]

Well, this explains the joke at the HallowE'en party.

(Yes, that how I spell it. That's how I was taught to spell it, and dagnabbit, it's a perfectly cromulent spelling.)