Jurassic Dork
Gummy roamed dejectedly around THE PRETTY PINK THING’s chamber. Celestia’s Sun was sinking towards the west. Soon, the day would be gone, and Gummy’s hopes with it.
He fumbled through the bedroom’s clutter, searching for, if not a solution, then at least absolution, something would say to him, No, Gummy, this failure is not your fault. You did your best. You did all that anygator could ask of you.
Gummy found a ball of grass-green yarn and absently shredded it.
No more balloons. No. From now on, my claws stay firmly on the ground.
The cardboard box disguise almost worked. But almost wasn’t good enough. Some ponies still saw me, reacted to me. It’s not enough to be uninteresting. I must become invisible.
Gummy looked down at his claws, draped with grass-green threads.
Grass. Green.
Another idea hatched in his head. And this time, it was a double-yolker.
Gummy bit and tore at the ball of yarn, until it resembled nothing so much as a small, ragged clump of grass.
He burrowed a tunnel into the ball and clambered in. He presented himself to the bedroom mirror and was pleased with the effect.
A clod. Anypony that sees me will think, there’s a clod.
A perfect disguise. I will blend in. Disappear. Invisible.
But how to escape THE PRETTY PINK THING’s chamber? She had blocked the door with towels and closed and locked the bedroom window.
But not the little bathroom window! Ha!
Gummy reluctantly used a balloon to reach the tiny window ledge and hop onto the glass. Clad in his new ghillie suit, he couldn’t quite squeeze through the gap between the bottom of the window and the pane. Gummy threw his weight forward and back, trying to open the window a little wider. The window moved reluctantly, at first, then suddenly tilted down.
Triumph! thought Gummy, as he slid uncontrollably to the edge of the window pane, tumbled over and fell.
#
Gummy struck the sharply sloped roof of Sugar Cube Corner, rolled, caromed into a gable, bounced, dropped and finally came to rest in an awning that had been set up in front of the shop to a create a little bistro for late afternoon and evening customers.
Gummy shook himself and crawled to the edge of the awning. Looking down, he saw two ponies, drinking cups of brown liquid and nibbling key lime pie.
He looked down to his right. The flowerbed. Perfect. He gathered himself and leaped.
Gummy landed almost noiselessly in the soft earth of the flowerbed. Stealth. Patience. Observation. He huddled down into a ball and scanned the area around him.
So far, so good. The two ponies hadn’t noticed him. Slowly, carefully, he crept through the flowerbed to the edge of the street.
Gummy’s plan now was to dash from flowerbed to lawn to grassy verge, circumnavigating the Ponyville Marketplace by creeping through the protective greenery.
And it worked! It worked! Ha ha! This, this is the Claw of the Predator in action, he thought. Moving like a ghost through the forest primeval, sliding through jungle and swamp, approaching the unwary prey until the moment came to pounce!
Gummy huddled tightly in a ball as a group of pony children passed, laughing.
Ha ha! Little do they suspect their peril! thought Gummy, the fierce predator, as he shrank within his tattered ball of wool.
Once the children were gone, Gummy crept on, feeling a new pride swell in his breast, a new confidence in his abilities.
And if anypony noticed a clod of grass swaggering through the weeds, none of them did anything about it.
#
Up and over Gooseberry Hill, through the pavilions on the far side of town. Then down to the riverbank, where Gummy was unexpectedly stopped by a wall.
A wall? A wall? Really, A WALL?!
Gummy paced back and forth before the obstacle in disbelief. I just flew over this area this afternoon, he thought, with a slight shudder. There was no wall here then! Why is there a wall now? A WALL?!
Being cold-blooded, an alligator is slow to anger. But this, this was more than Gummy could tolerate. He could smell, could hear, could feel the River, achingly close. No wall, nothing, could stop him now.
He looked left and right. The wall stretched for yards in both directions without an opening. He looked up. A story or more. He examined the wall itself: solid, densely covered in bright purple tiles.
Calmly, deliberately, Gummy stripped off his ghillie suit.
Climb! Gummy’s claws, honed to needle sharpness after all his scrambling about, spread and gripped the tiles. I can do this! I will do this! Climb!
Patience. Observation. Cunning. Despite his anger, Gummy forced himself to test each grip before hauling himself upward. He was too close to fail now to some careless mistake. Grip. Test. Climb. Grip. Test. Climb. With relentless reptilian determination, Gummy made his way upwards.
Nearly there. Grip. Test. Climb. Almost there.
Then the wall stirred under Gummy’s claws.
The wall, which had seemed as solid as stone, now shifted like sand beneath him. Gummy clutched at the tiles for dear life as the wall rippled and moved like a living thing.
Like a living thing. Gummy looked at the tiles beneath his claws and, if his eyes could have grown wider, they would have.
Not tiles. Scales.
Uh oh.
“Why, hello there, little fellow!” boomed a voice as soft as a waterfall. “Here now. Let’s take a good look at you!”
Gummy looked up and found a vast draconic head, as large as a house, swiveling sinuously to focus on the tiny reptile. Eyes as broad as windows narrowed to gaze down upon him.
Sobek! Gummy thought. Father of Crocodiles, Lord of Rivers!
Gummy noticed a movement to his left. He froze in fear as claws like massive but infinitely delicate boat anchors caught the tiny alligator and uplifted him, until Gummy could see nothing but the River Dragon’s fixed gaze.
Gummy shivered. Who am I, Great Sobek, that thou art mindful of me?
The Dragon appeared to consider for a moment. Then: “Perhaps introductions are in order,” said the Dragon, agreeably. “I have been known by many names in my long life. Recently, in the last millennium or so, I’ve been called Stephanos Eridanos Magnus.” The Dragon grinned impishly. “’Steve.’”
“What is it, Steven?” came the voice of Rarity the unicorn from far below.
“An unexpected guest, my dear,” said the Dragon. “Do you know him?”
The Dragon lowered a steam shovel-sized claw and delicately deposited Gummy on a linen-covered table. Gummy found himself gazing at his reflection in a shining silver tea service. His expression read: Wow. Just wow.
“Why! It’s Gummy!” declared Rarity. “Pinkie Pie’s dear little… creature.” Rarity turned to her white Persian cat, crouching on the table. “Opal, say hello to your playmate.”
Opalescence arched her back and glared. “MEE-ROW! Spitt-spitt! Hisss…!”
“Opal says, ‘Good evening, Gummy,’” explained Rarity, primly.
Gummy spun around, trying to make sense of his situation. There was the MAJESTIC WHITE PONY and her ANGRY WHITE KITTY. The MAJESTIC WHITE PONY, clad in billowy summer apparel, was nonchalantly sipping tea from a tiny cup.
Gummy was standing on a clean, linen-covered table covered by a festive umbrella.
Sobek (Steve), Father of Crocodiles, Lord of Rivers, loomed over the table. A teacup, the size of a soup tureen but still absurdly small in his enormous claws, was lifted to his mouth. He sipped delicately. “Oolong, of course,” he sighed, happily.
“Of course, Steven, what else for you for our little summer tea party?” said Rarity. She turned her regard to Gummy. “But I’m certain that Pinkie Pie must be so worried about her friend. Excuse me, Steven, but perhaps I should take him back to Sugar Cube Corner right now.”
Gummy felt his claws leave the table as Rarity’s magic raised him up. Gummy slumped, despondent. No, not again, he thought.
Rarity got up to leave but discovered the River Dragon’s claws blocking her path.
“If you will permit me, my dear,” said the Dragon, apologetically. “Perhaps I have a better solution.”
The Dragon plucked Gummy out of the air, raised him up and studied the tiny alligator, eye-to-eye.
In the westering light of evening, something burned in the eyes of the great serpent. Memory glowed, ancient beyond reckoning, preserved in dark amber.
We walked together in those Old Lands, you and I, the serpent’s eyes said to Gummy. We strode the earth as kings. We chose to share our world with the small, fast, warm-blooded ones. A mistake, perhaps. But we love and honor them. And they, in turn, must honor us and our ways. The relentless and unforgiving ways of the Predator.
The great serpent opened his jaws. His long teeth glowed red and wet in the dying light.
Then, in a voice as soft and kind as the trickle of a creek through a stand of rushes, the serpent breathed, “Down there, beyond the bridge, in the muddy place where rock and wood, earth and water join: the fair ladies are waiting for you, my child."
The great serpent made a graceful sweeping gesture, and deposited Gummy gently into the River with a quiet ker-plunk!
“Steven, will he be all right there, do you think?” asked Rarity, worried.
Gazing downriver, the corners of the serpent’s moustache arched upwards. “Oh yes, my dear, I think he will be fine.
“Now then!” he said, rubbing his claws together and turning his attention to the alabaster unicorn. “Tell me more about your Fall line!”
#
“GUMMY! GUMMY! GUMMY!” squealed Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie clutched the tiny alligator to her chest and danced around Sugar Cube Corner.
It was the middle of the night and the entire household was up and excited. Pound and Pumpkin giggled as they bounced off the walls. Mr. and Mrs. Cake dashed about, struggling to collect their children out of the air.
Rarity stood in the doorway looking apologetically at Pinkie.
“I knew you would be worried, darling, but Steven was so insistent that Gummy had to go for his little… swim.”
“SWIMMING!” cried Pinkie. “Oh, Gummy! That’s what you wanted to do all day! Swimming in the River! Of course! I’m so sorry.”
“Swimming. Yes. That’s what he wanted. Swimming,” said Rarity, looking askance.
Pinkie Pie looked at the unicorn quizzically, but Rarity just batted her eyes.
“Swimming,” she said, firmly.
“Well, then, that gives me the BEST IDEA EVER!” exclaimed Pinkie. “A picnic/pet playdate by the river! You and me and all my pals and their pets having a good old time by the river! Boats! Yes! Believe me, Gummy, there is nothing half so worth doing as messing about with boats! Ha ha ha! Three ponies in a boat, to say nothing of the alligator! Hee!
“Doesn’t that sound great, Gummy? Doesn’t it? Doesn’t it?”
Gummy just smiled dreamily, snuggled against THE PRETTY PINK THING and went back to sleep.
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Apologies for the title to PhantomFox ("Sunny Skies All Day Long").
"[F]linging his eager craft through the clawless halls of air" is, more-or-less from John Magee, Jr's poem "High Flight."
"Feathered Canyon" is a reference to Joni Mitchell's "Both Sides Now." A good name for Rainbow's house, don't you think? In contrast, Gummy's dilemma has nothing to do with America's "Ventura Highway."
Stephanos Eridanos Magnus might be translated as "the Great All-Encompassing River." My best effort at making sense of "Steven Magnet."
Pinkie's comments at the end about "messing about with boats" is, of course, a wink to Kenneth Grahame's Wind in the Willows. And "three ponies in a boat" is a nod to Jerome K Jerome's Three Men in a Boat (to say Nothing of the Dog).
*drops everything*
Must read!
[edit]
And wasn't that worth it!
To quote Gummy: Wow! Just Wow!
Oh this is brilliant - with the happy ending, and Rarity having tea with her old friend.
Oh, that was just delightful! Marvelous pun hidden in plain sight with the Oolong tea, and do I detect Stephen King references in the capitalized way Gummy thinks of ponies, along with the mention of the behavior of balloons?
See you soon in the feature box, I'm sure!
These pet stories are always fun to read.
But you ain't got to make sense of Steven Magnet, any more than you got to make sense of Diamond Tiara's cache of explosives. It's just a joke about Youtube's arbitrary auto-captions that needs to have died a long time ago.
And at last, a happy ending! Great job using Steven, too; he's not a character that appears often in fics.
Truly a most epic story. I love how Gummy's deity is the Almighty Sobek.
But why, I must ask, did he choose to appear in the form of an effeminate sea-serpent?
A delight to read, as always : )
1218087
But that's part of the fun, isn't it? Trying to make sense of the often nonsensical parts of the "canon" (quoted, since "Steven Magnet" isn't exactly canon).
It seemed reasonable to assume that "Steven Magnet" is a corruption of "Stephen Magnus" (Big Steve) since Steve surely is big (as large or larger than any of the dragons we've seen to date). "Stephanos" (from the Greek) means something like "encompassing" or "encircling". "Eridanos" (again, from the Greek) is both a real river and, in mythology, a river than encircles the world. Add a little Latin (sorry) and you could get Stephanos Eridanos Magnus (the Great River that Encircles the World)
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Here's the thing, though. "Steve's" design is clearly based on a Chinese Dragon, and Chinese Dragons are kind of a big deal. (Paired with the Chinese Phoenix; well, hello, Philomena!) Sobek, in Egyptian mythology, was one of the World Creators, associated with the Sun God, Ra.
As I hint at in this story, I think of Steve as an Old God, much diminished and eccentric, a relic of a time when the Everfree covered all the world. He was the analog of Celestia in the Old Lands, before the subtle magics of the Earth Ponies domesticated Equestria. Though reduced, he is a figure of importance within what remains of the Wild Lands. (Not unlike Tolkien's Treebeard, come to think on it.)
And I think of him less as effeminate than playful, grown childish and, yes, vain in his old age. But there was a long eon when he and his children ruled the earth. Perhaps they do no longer, but they deserve our honor and affection.
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"Stephen Magnet" was the result of YouTube's horrible caption feature naming him such for no good reason during the episode.
I loved this so much. Gummy, you deserve a montage song for all your hard work!
Ah, this was a fine little read! Thank you for providing it!
Also, congratulations on making EQD!
gummy got swag
Lovely little read, I do so love these pet stories
Was Gummy based off of krogan? I AM ALLIGATOR! GRAWR!
Loved it!
All hail Sobek!
This story was simply glorious. I salute you, sir!
It's interesting how he doesn't refer to Pinkie as a pony. Perhaps he knows something we don't.
If I'm reading correctly; all Gummy wanted to do was breed?
Well done, Gummy. A masculine reptile is the only appropriate comment.
Brilliant. I didn't realise immediately that Steven Magnet was the river dragon, but when I did I laughed so hard I headbutted my desk. A triumph.
Oh, Rarity. You may not wish to have been so coy when Ponyville River is swarming with Gummy's dumpy green progeny.
If is isn't already. Equestrian ecology is pretty darn exciting.
Yay, that was fun!
"We walked together in those Old Lands, you and I, the serpent’s eyes said to Gummy. We strode the earth as kings. We chose to share our world with the small, fast, warm-blooded ones. A mistake, perhaps. But we love and honor them. And they, in turn, must honor us and our ways. The relentless and unforgiving ways of the Predator."-Steven Magnet
Gods own speed, you magnificent sonuvabitch!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlaXIRTjNfo
Also, I think Steven is a mix between a Fjord Linnworm and a Jiaolong. AKA a great big dragon who protects the waters of his territory.
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1235519
Gummy: I tell ya, I'm all right now, but last week I was in rough shape. I went to see my doctor... Doctor Vidi-boom-ba. Yeah...I told him once, "Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me? He said, "I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect."
yes, swimming... lol
i wounder if the gender ratio is as far off as it is for the ponies.
This is one of the best stories on the site.
Stealth, cunning, guile… these are my inheritance. I AM ALLIGATOR! GRAR! Respect me, Ponyville!
. Okay this story KILLED ME. I LOVE THIS STORY truly gummy is a fiece predetor againts the cute school ponies and pastel colored unicorns. BUT wow i love this story this is amazing. also i lov the names of everybody and just well eeverything, trully this is the explination of gummy
“Why! It’s Gummy!” declared Rarity. “Pinkie Pie’s dear little… creature.”
yes swimming nothing else, just swimming
ps i belive in rainbow dash
Wonderfully well done! I just love the style in which you portrayed Gummy's thoughts. As a zoology buff, I found this story to be original, charming and inventive. Will definitely be you to my
stalkwatch list, now that I've finished the story.1273702
Steve may or may not be Sobek. There may not even be a Sobek except in Gummy's mind. But, being who he is, I imagine Steve's encountered this sort of shock and awe from reptiles before, and knows how to deal with it. I thought he was kind and understanding, in the way I think Princess Celestia is, knowing that someponies are a little scared of her.
The "what griffons would eat" was an allusion to Gustave Le Grand, as you inferred. I was thinking of Carrot Cake as less "racist" than merely provincial. And, just maybe, with "strudel" he's moving outside of his comfort zone as a baker. With strudel, he might have to "up his game."
As for the ending, I preferred to leave the end to the reader's imagination. I rated the story for everypony. And I thought Pinkie's obliviousness was pretty much Pinkie-as-usual.
1276676
Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed reading the part where Steve appears. But the idea behind it is intriguing enough to deserve some attention of its own, and because of that, it was a mite distracting.
I'd still edit that bit with Carrot Cake, though. Nothing major, just make him sound less "uh oh foreign" and more "uh oh exotic food", if that's the effect you're going for. I'd probably bring his speech more in line with standard English, too, and with less buffy speak. Like this bit:
“Still kind of in doubt about this ‘strudel’ thing, Pinkie,” said MR. CAKE, studying the chalked menu. “It sounds foreign. You know, like,” in hushed tones, “what griffons would eat.”
For instance, I'd probably put the subject back in and rewrite it like this:
“I'm still not sure about this ‘strudel’ idea, Pinkie,” said MR. CAKE, studying the chalked menu. “It sounds a little... exotic. You know, like,” he continued in hushed tones, “what griffons would eat.”
As for the ending, I wouldn't take anything away. Far from it. I'd add some kind of coda or final line from Gummy, perhaps about his encounter with Steve and fulfilling his destiny, or some such. The ending of a story works best when it gives a genuine feel of closure, not just when the character's problem is solved.
I hasten to add that none of this nitpicking is because I dislike your story. I think you write very well, and you must either be a good editor or be willing to ask a good editor to help you, because the technical elements are superb. How long did it take to go from idea to finished work?
1285472
"How long did it take to go from idea to finished work?"
About a week. As luck would have it, I had a three-day weekend around Labor Day, so I had a little extra free time.
And that is not typical of me, at all. This was just one of those stories that popped into my head in the small hours of the morning. For some reason, the title of PhantomFox's story, "Sunny Skies All Day Long" entered my head, got confused, and somehow became "Gummy Tries All Day Long." I asked myself, well, what would a story with that title be about, and I just knew. So 2:00 AM found me at my keyboard, tapping in the outline before I forgot it. Actually writing the story was a breeze, because I knew at every point where I was going.
It probably helped that I had written about Gummy before (in "Short Cakes"), so I had a handle on his character. Also, the story has an episodic structure, much like the classic Chuck Jones/Mike Maltese Roadrunner cartoons, so writing the story in short bursts was easy.
1285895
"About a week. As luck would have it, I had a three-day weekend around Labor Day, so I had a little extra free time. And that is not typical of me, at all. This was just one of those stories that popped into my head in the small hours of the morning."
A week to complete about six thousand words? That's pretty good going, even if it is unusual. It sounds like a lot of the story was already well-formed before you started writing.
I generally think up a load of story ideas over time and see which one engages my interest the longest -- usually the one I'm most interested in pursuing -- and then either dive straight into writing a passage or plan the story out in detail.
"For some reason, the title of PhantomFox's story, "Sunny Skies All Day Long" entered my head, got confused, and somehow became "Gummy Tries All Day Long.""
Hey, I never noticed that connection before. And it's so obvious now you've pointed it out, too!
"It probably helped that I had written about Gummy before (in "Short Cakes"), so I had a handle on his character. Also, the story has an episodic structure, much like the classic Chuck Jones/Mike Maltese Roadrunner cartoons, so writing the story in short bursts was easy."
His character here did remind me a lot of his character in Short Cakes, now you bring it up. And I can safely say that the Wile E. Coyote vibe was definitely there in Gummy's doomed series of attempts.
Took me a while to finally get around to reading it, but I'm glad I didn't let this one vanish into the bottomless hole of my Read Later list. How is it that these silly little pet stories end up being so entertaining? Have you seen this one, by the way?
Also, 1237800 that made me laugh as much as anything in the story itself.
And that's story about how Gummy finally get a laid. I liked it so much, it is very funny :)
This was quite a well written and amusing imo :P
This was nice little read!!! funny yet clever! There need to be more gummy fics ^^ anyone agree?
Wow. I thought Gummy would be a little young for the ladies, given his small size. Unless that's the biggest that gators get in Equestria.
1482271
I actually thought about this.
If you consider Gummy as a normal alligator, I agree that he seems far too young to be courting. (He'd be bigger than a pony, in his adolescent stage.)
But Gummy is a 1+ year old alligator living in Equestria, so who knows? And, as you suggest, maybe Gummy is some sort of pygmy, toothless alligator that Pinkie has adopted. Gummy has a story that has never really been sorted out.
If you don't mind, let me share with you something I wrote about Gummy recently, when I had him awkwardly trying to comfort Pinkie Pie:
You found me when I thought I was abandoned.
You cared for me when I thought I had no one.
You gave me warmth when I felt cold.
You brought me laughter when I felt sad.
Do not be afraid!
Whatever happens, I will always be your friend.
1482425
Being a breed of pygmy toothless alligator just seems really sad to me. And if Gummy's a sexually mature one, who knows how small the newborns will be.
I do like the thought of this eventually happening: http://csimadmax.deviantart.com/gallery/27895291?offset=24#/d39so9z
Okay, now that was great. That was funny, dangnamit that ending was the best, and it was so light and fluffy, too. A good read indeed.
This was lovely
Oh, Gummy.
He's by far the best pet. I imagine that this is what goes on in his head all day.
Interesting and kind of unique idea, rather fun too. I'm glad you cut it off where you did though. To much more and you would have been droning. I feel that you could have played more on Pinkie/Gummies relationship and you could have made it more interesting through that, but still all around good.
Unique Ideas, Bland Charactazation (outside Gummy), Decent writing and and a good flavor of humor. I'll give it a 6/10 (5 being an average story rather then 7)
Extremely entertaining and I love Twilight's and Dash's scenes. Both give very entertaining insights into how the characters think, and it's priceless.
The dialogue is great, too. I get this really clear image, and everything feels natural. Nice work!
i251.photobucket.com/albums/gg306/skaterboy7654/bth_homer_simpson.jpg Awwww... He misses casual sex.
Geez, why couldn't Rarity just say he wanted to go courting? Pinkie could handle that.
If there is any fic that should be made into a short movie, it should be this. Gummy's fierce determination is very infectious, to say the least. I approve wholeheartedly of Twilight's and Rainbow's short appearances. Thank you for this wonderful fic.