Solid Alligator
It was nearly midday. Light streamed into the apartment atop Sugar Cube Corner.
Gummy gnawed dejectedly on his favorite squeaky toy and cast his gaze around THE PRETTY PINK THING’s room.
His wandering sight eventually alighted upon a small, empty cardboard box, lying near THE PRETTY PINK THING’s litter bin. Square, brown and unremarkable, labeled HAPPY HOOF JOY BUZZER, the eye naturally moved over it and dismissed it.
Gummy stood up. That’s it! he thought. Camouflage! Yes! He had not lived with the PRETTY PINK THING all this time without learning a thing or two about disguises. They chased after Gummy, the fierce, charismatic alligator, but they will ignore Gummy, the humble cardboard box! Ha ha!
He scrambled over to it and tried it on, like a hermit crab easing into a new shell. It was a little stuffy inside, sure, but if he let go the box would easily drop over him, concealing him.
Gummy carefully flattened the cardboard box and pushed it under the door. He squished himself after it. Fluffing the box back up, he pulled it over himself and moved with reptilian determination towards the stairs.
#
The first trial was flawless.
In the middle of the stairs, Gummy heard the clump of MR. CAKE’s hoofbeats. Gummy stopped, huddling inside his box.
MR. CAKE, entirely indifferent to a tiny bit of debris, climbed past Gummy and up the stairs, muttering to himself, “Strudel… go figure.”
MR. CAKE’s hoofbeats faded. Gummy continued moving cautiously down the stairs.
Luck was with him. At the foot of the stairs, Gummy peeped out and saw that the front door was open. Just a little ways to go.
He skittered down the hallway. Then, hoofbeats! Gummy turtled down inside his box.
The business-like clip-clop announced the approach of MRS. CAKE. Gummy curled up tightly and held his breath.
“Tidy as you go, tidy as you go,” MRS. CAKE hummed to herself. Abruptly, Gummy felt himself and the box lifted up, carried a short distance and then dropped.
Gummy experienced a moment of panic. But then he realized his situation and felt relief. This is good! This is a success! My disguise worked! Gummy reassured himself. I’m in the recycling bin in the little utility room off the kitchen. I’m not upstairs. This isn’t a setback. Just a short detour.
After collecting himself, Gummy risked peeking out of the box. MRS. CAKE was busily wiping down the countertops. Her back was turned to him. Go! Go! Go!
Gummy hauled himself out of the waste bin, drew the box down close around him and scampered across the kitchen floor.
Then he heard a sudden intake of breath. Gummy stopped, dropped and rolled up inside the box.
“Goodness me, how many of these things does Pinkie have, anyway?” exclaimed MRS. CAKE.
Gummy gripped the inside of the box as it was lifted, again, carried, again and dumped, again, into the recycling bin. Again.
Okay, that’s not progress, thought Gummy, as he heard MRS. CAKE’s hoofbeats recede.
Gummy peeped out of the box and looked around. He discovered that the small window in the utility room was open! But how to get up there? The window blind cord, of course! Again, Gummy hauled himself up to the edge of the recycling bin and caught the cord with a claw. Gripping his cardboard companion cube in his jaws, Gummy shimmied up the cord to the open window and hopped out into the empty alley way beyond.
#
The Ponyville Marketplace was clearly off-limits to him. It was nearly noon and the square was crowded with ponies taking their lunch break and doing a little shopping. Gummy decided to stick to the side streets bordering the square; it would be a long way around, but more certain and safer, he decided.
And his disguise worked great! He moved carefully down each street, scooting forward a little ways, then stopping to listen and smell. Best of all, he found that the fall of pony hooves rang through the cobbles under his claws, and Gummy could often feel the approach of a pony before the pony hove into view. Then he would just stop and pull his box down and wait for the pony to pass by.
This is the ancient way of my kind, Gummy told himself. Patience. Observation. Cunning. The Eye… no! The Claw of the Predator! I AM ALLIGATOR! GRAR!
Gummy congratulated himself on reclaiming his fierce alpha predator heritage as he huddled quietly in his box waiting for a group of pastel-colored unicorns to leave.
Gummy had worked his way halfway around the marketplace when he felt a brisk clippity-clop coming towards him. Quickly, he curled himself into a ball within his box.
The pony stood over him. “Tsk tsk,” she said, clearly enunciating each syllable. “‘Every litter bit hurts,’” she declared. “While I applaud the contribution to our community of our porcine citizens (an important demographic in the upcoming elections), I do not choose to live in a sty. Perhaps I should deliver an inspirational speech about this, next week. In the meantime, here we go.”
And, once again, Gummy braced himself as his box was lifted up and tossed into a nearby rubbish bin.
This is good! This is still good! Gummy reassured himself, as the pony trotted away. He clambered up to the top of the rubbish bin and looked around. This is not a setback. I’m a little closer to my goal. Let’s get there!
Gummy pulled out his small, tattered box and hopped down from the rubbish bin. Pulling down his disguise, he scurried on. Not far now! Not far! he encouraged himself, as he crept confidently past the Ponyville Library.
#
“Hmmm, interesting,” said Twilight Sparkle, focusing her binoculars.
The binoculars were new and she had been testing them by examining known landmarks and plotting their apparent versus actual dimensions, in order to discover biases in the lenses.
She had the same issue with shoes. Sure, new shoes always felt great, but didn’t it always seem like the left-rear was just a little thicker than the right-front? Twilight had invented a tiltmeter hat to measure the variation, but Spike had just laughed at it and pronounced it silly to worry about shoes.
Boys have no sense of priorities, she thought.
Anyway, she had been trying out her new binoculars and had spotted this little cardboard box meandering down the street outside the Library. The lenses had brought the label into an admirably sharp focus: HAPPY HOOF JOY BUZZER.
Pinkie’s, Twilight thought, smiling.
Twilight had thought, at first, that the box was being blown down the street by the wind. And yet, her meteorological observations appeared at variance with this conclusion. Intrigued, she had pulled out a large pad of graph paper, sketched the terrain around the Library, factored in force vectors to account for local turbulence, and plotted the motions of the little cardboard box against her model.
Why, this is not a stochastic process at all! she realized. An invisible agency must be acting upon this cardboard box. Only that could explain its movement!
Twilight concentrated, bringing all of the available data together for her analysis.
Cardboard box: (probably) belonging to Pinkie Pie.
Cardboard box: too small to actually contain Pinkie (probably).
Cardboard box: moving not randomly, but with deliberation and intelligence. Based on this, we can safely dismiss Pinkie Pie from the equation.
Therefore, the cardboard box must contain: GUMMY!
QED! YES!
Twilight Sparkle sat back and smiled fondly at the little cardboard box as it crept past the Library and down the street. Yes! The world makes sense! she thought. Studying the history of Equestria had sometimes given her reason to doubt that, but here, in this small place, her confidence in reason was strong.
As the little box disappeared around a corner, Twilight suddenly realized, Gummy! Oh, the poor little guy, wandering around inside that box, lost and afraid! I must rescue him!
#
“Spike, take a letter,” began Twilight Sparkle.
“Dear Princess Celestia,
“Today I learned a valuable lesson about friendship. By careful observation of the world around me, I discovered Pinkie Pie’s precious pet, Gummy, wandering alone through the streets of Ponyville. By acting on this knowledge, I was able to rescue him and return him safely to Sugar Cube Corner. Pinkie has promised to take steps so that he won’t get out again.
“One should always keep one’s eyes open, and always look for ways to help your friends.
“Sincerely, your faithful student,
“Twilight Sparkle.”
#
Returned, again, to THE PRETTY PINK THING’s domain, Gummy hunted about for a solution.
THE PRETTY PINK THING had stuffed some towels under the door so he had no hope of getting out that way again. He needed some other way out, some other way to reach the River. Some way that didn’t involve so many darn ponies.
When he wanted to sulk, Gummy clambered up to the high shelf, the highest place in THE PRETTY PINK THING’s room. Absently, he batted away the balloons that obstructed his view of the chamber, the window and the world beyond.
Abruptly, he stopped.
Balloons.
Gummy looked at them as if he had never seen them before. Living with THE PRETTY PINK THING, balloons were a natural part of the environment, like earth and air and wax teeth.
Balloons. They float.
The egg of an idea hatched in Gummy’s brain.
Gummy scrambled around through the clutter and came up with a lightweight basket of woven straw. He looked up and found the biggest balloon bobbing against the ceiling. After considerable trial and error, he found a way to tie the balloon securely to the basket.
Eagerly, he pushed open the bedroom window.
Wait! Patience. Observation. Cunning. Gummy dragged two of the smaller balloons down to the window and freed them. He studied their drift. Yes! Across the marketplace towards the River.
This is Fate! This is Destiny! Gummy wrestled the straw basket and the big balloon towards the open window. For a moment, he stood, basking in the glow of the late afternoon Sun, and felt that the claw of Sobek rested upon his shoulder.
Go, my son, and dare great things, grunted Sobek.
Gummy pushed the big balloon out the window. The air snatched at it and carried it upwards. Gummy leapt into the swaying basket, chasing the shouting wind along, flinging his eager craft through the clawless halls of air…
#
Gummy’s airship bore him over the Ponyville Marketplace. The square was quiet and sleepy in the late afternoon, but Gummy remained vigilant. There are pegasus ponies around, he reminded himself, as he hunkered down low in his basket. They might ignore a balloon or a basket, but they would find a flying alligator something worth investigating.
The basket rocked in the gentle breeze. Gummy realized that he felt at ease, at home, here in the sky. Why, perhaps one of my ancestors was the first dragon, the first bird, the first pegasus! My kind are old beyond imagining. Perhaps one of us, long, long ago, crawled up from the mud, gazed at the sky and thought, why not? Let’s go for it!
Gummy crept up to the edge of the basket, which tilted alarmingly. Carefully, he peeped over the edge and saw the Ponyville Marketplace far below.
They don’t look up, he observed. Even the pegasus ponies look around and down but not up. Altitude is the best disguise.
Gummy’s airship passed serenely over the top of Ponyville Town Hall. Over the top. Somehow, this tickled a tiny alarm in Gummy’s brain.
Gummy looked back at Sugar Cube Corner and was surprised to see how far below him it was. He looked down and was shocked by how small the ponies now seemed. He looked up, at the balloon that was carrying him further and further towards the River, yes, but also deeper and deeper into the sky, and thought, Altitude. Uh oh.
Gummy’s airship floated away from Ponyville and at last over the River. He looked down and considered jumping. But, from up here, the thin blue trace of the river seemed so terribly narrow, and the hard land so unforgiving….
The big balloon, the basket and Gummy spiraled away into the sky above Ponyville, and Gummy realized, I’m in trouble.
#
Feathered Canyon, a compact cloud mansion tethered high above Ponyville:
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us….”
Rainbow Dash wobbled her head. Dude, make up your mind. Still, she thought, he’s got something going here…. She pulled up her book, Kickin’s classic A Tale of Two Ponies, engrossed.
Then she heard an insistent scratching at her front door.
Okay, that’s weird. Weird, of course, because Rainbow’s front door stood at an altitude of about 10,000 feet, so visitors were rare. Tank (she smiled, good ol’ Tank) was away at Fluttershy’s sanctuary, visiting his old friends. And, anyway, he’d just knock or fly in through his pet window, not scratch at the door.
Rainbow had almost convinced herself that she hadn’t heard anything when the scratching, more insistent, came again.
She respectfully put down her book and went to the door. It better not be that Scamway salespegasus again, she thought.
Rainbow opened the door and found herself eye-to-eye with a forlorn and desperate-looking Gummy. Even as she stood there, amazed, Rainbow saw the little basket carrying the tiny reptile drift up and away from her door, into the empty sky.
“Gummy?” she exclaimed. I’m not having one of those dreams again, am I? she wondered as she leapt into the air, following Gummy’s airship into the clear sky above her home. “Gummy?”
Clutching the edge of the basket, Gummy gazed sorrowfully at Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash glanced around. Then she smiled and gathered the little alligator into her forelegs, cooing, “Aw, you poor widdle guy! I guess one of Mommy Pinkie’s widdle jokes went to Crazytown, huh? C’mon, hold tight, my friend. Auntie Rainbow will take care of you.”
Gummy slumped gratefully into Rainbow Dash’s embrace.
Rainbow Dash took Gummy in, fed him a cup of warm soup, tucked him into Tank’s bunk and sat beside him while he rested.
“Don’t tell anypony I did this, okay?” she said softly, rubbing his belly. “I mean, I’ve got an image to uphold, right? I’m not really nice, you know. I mean, I’m awesome and everything, just not nice, right?”
Gummy’s eyes closed. And he snuggled closer to Rainbow Dash.
#
In the end, he was returned, again, to THE PRETTY PINK THING’s room at Sugar Cube Corner.
From his window, he stared up at the sky. I believe in THE BLUE PONY. Others may doubt, but I believe.
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That last sentence!
Gummy is now officially the best pony.
So Rainbow Dash is Gummy's personal saviour? I can see it now: Rainbow Dash, First Mare to Perform the Sonic Rainboom in Generations, Element of Loyalty, Future Wonderbolt & Saviour to Small, Adventurous Reptiles!
Or to put it another way RDFMPSRGELFWSSAR.
More awesomeness. And I can see Dash learning to enjoy Dickens!
You have no idea how much I laughed at that line.
"Gummy congratulated himself on reclaiming his fierce alpha predator heritage as he huddled quietly in his box waiting for a group of pastel-colored unicorns to leave."
That line absolutely slew me. You have a dry sense of humor - I like it.
Next time I am faced with a moral quandry I shall stop and ask myself: "What would Rainbow Dash do?"
I love THIS STYLE OF WRITING. Really. It reminds me of Problem Sleuth.
best gummy story evur!
Oh ho ho my God, that last paragraph made me laugh so hard. :'D
This is one of the funnest, best light-hearted style stories I've ever read. Spectacularly written, too. And I found that Rainbow having a (very) soft side to her was perfectly in chararcter. Well done! :D
Oh my gawd. An interaction between Gummy and Dash in a fanfic that doesn't involve Dash having a phobia of him and him trying to gum her to death?
You have made a NEW AND WONDROUS THING.
Important that. She once managed to hide inside a can of soda (unopened no less)
1231805
It works for Twilight
I believe in THE BLUE PONY.
This should be on a T-shirt. And a poster. And a political campaign.
Heheheheh.
Aha XD. Always remember your fire safety!
Twilight, you're adorkable :D. You've just achieved new levels of nerdyness ^^.
Wow! Wonderful imagery!
D'aww!! <3
gummy? Gummy? GUMMY!