• Published 21st Dec 2011
  • 8,854 Views, 1,087 Comments

Filly Fantasy VI - The Return of Magic - The Wyld Stallynz

  • ...
26
 1,087
 8,854

PreviousChapters Next
Wherein Auditions Are Held (April Foals)

“Hurry, they’re not going to stay distracted for long!” Rainbow Dash shouted in the aftermath of Big Mac’s Noiseblaster, directing the party to a side-street of Jidhoof.

“Say cheese!” Big Mac exclaimed, mashing a button on his saddle. A side compartment popped out, revealing a light bulb and a rectangle for only a moment before it flashed brightly, blinding the few imperial soldiers that had only been staggered from the Noiseblaster.

“We can’t keep this up forever!” Trixie noted, huffing as she cast another Cure spell on Twilight. “Twilurch over here keeps tripping!”

“Oh yeah?” Spike shouted, glaring daggers at the blue unicorn. “Let’s see you deal with the crap she’s in and still run full tilt!”

“Guys, cut the bickering or they’ll be able to follow us!” Stardust interrupted, keeping pace easily.

Twilight’s eyes flickered white for a second, and in that second a hoof snagged the corner of a cobble-stone. Trixie’s levitation caught her in before any damage could be done, but the sweat on Trixie’s brow belied the fact that they couldn’t keep their current pace without changing something.

Thinking quickly, Stardust flipped one of his bags with his beak, forcing it to land on Trixie, while another landed on Big Mac. Freed of most of his extra weight, Stardust grabbed Twilight’s tail and yanked as hard as he could, spinning the mare in mid-air to land on his back, causing his legs to buckle.

“St-Stardust? What—”

“We chocobos might be geared for endurance,” Stardust grunted, ignoring Twilight as he shifted his posture to account for the change in gravity and weight. “But if there’s anything else we’re good at, it’s short sprints! Hang onto your ponyfeathers!”

Stardust took several agonizingly slow steps. Spike opened his mouth to suggest setting Twilight back down, when suddenly, there was… nothing.

“Bwa?”

All that was left was a faint silver sheen in the direction that Stardust had seemingly dashed, a few stray feathers floating on the wind. Spike blinked again, rubbing his eyes with his claws before spotting Stardust off in the distance.

“Come on, slowpokes, we gotta bust this joint!” Dash said, grabbing Spike in her forelegs as she flew by, chasing after Stardust.

“Speak for yourself, lead feathers!” Trixie countered as she ran alongside Rainbow. “Eat my dust!”

“So the Great and Cowardly Trixie has had a lot of practice running away, has she?” Dash shot back, glaring at the unicorn keeping pace. “Why does that not surprise me?”

“Oh yeah? Well you—”

Both blue mares jerked away from each other as a larger red blur shot between them, panting, “Less gabbin more runnin!”

The mares blinked before looking at each other, speechless as they kept running.

“Ha! Get served,” Spike gwaffed, his body shaking in Rainbow’s hooves.

“Oh shut it, stub-legs!” both mares snapped.

Said reptile reasoned it was in his better interests to remain quiet.

.o.O.o.

“Sorry,” Stardust panted, sagging on his legs as he followed the rest of the party. “I said that they were short sprints…”

“Hey, you still got the rest of them to snap to it and get us a decent lead on the imps, ‘Dust,” Spike said, hugging the back of the chocobo’s neck. “Don’t be so rough on yourself. Not everyone can be good at fighting, and if you weren’t here, not only would Twi have fallen behind, but so would I, most likely. You might see it as only being good at running away, but the rest of us see it differently!”

“Yeah,” Dash interrupted. “We need you for strategic advancements! They just uh, don’t tend to be, you know-”

“In a direction most ponies construe as being forward?” Twilight suggested, shaking her head sharply as her eyes started to glaze over.

“Yeah, that,” Rainbow Dash agreed, looking over her shoulder. Her eyes widened. “Oh come on! Guys, we’ve gotta pick up the pace or something, ‘cause they’re gaining on us again!”

“Th’ only place nearby is the Opera, but nopony-”

“Perfect!” Trixie cut off Big Mac, herding the others towards it. “Back door, go go go!”

Rainbow Dash growled quietly, but led the way regardless, taking out a stray vulture that had ventured too close for comfort.

Puffs of dust flared up as Rainbow Dash landed with her wings wide, throwing open the door as quickly as her hooves would allow. Seconds later Trixie charged past, leading the way with a glowing horn, followed closely by Stardust. Twilight stumbled on a loose rock, pitching forward, but even as Rainbow Dash started to zip forward to cushion the fall, Big Mac was already there to lend a shoulder, keeping her level long enough to get inside before he turned to buck the door closed.

“Hey! Watch it!” Dash exclaimed, clutching her tail, stroking it a few times before glaring at the red stallion. “You almost slammed that door on my tail, jerk!”

Rainbow fumed as Big Mac completely ignored her, sitting next to Twilight to check for any sprained hooves. “Hmph. Typical stallion,” Rainbow grumbled, stroking her tail one last time before releasing it.

She looked to her fellow mare, knowing she was their best bet for a quick plan. “So Trix, got a plan for when the soldiers show up? I doubt they’re not just gonna ignore the performer’s entran—”

“Ah! It is the bona fortuna that you have arrived, eh, Bimba?”

Dash’s left eye twitched as she turned to face the stallion that had suddenly entered the room, grinning. “Watch who you’re calling a bimbo!”

“Eh?” the stallion asked, tilting his head. “Ah, scusi, scusi. I should have introduce myself first. I am Morhay, master of ze Monsterous Opera! But you can just be calling it ze Opera, eh, Bimba?”

“Our apologies for being late,” Spike interrupted, forestalling Dash’s outburst. “We ran into, uh... transportation problems. How long do we have before the curtain rises?”

“Ah, straight to the point, eh, Ragazzo?” the stallion laughed heartily. “You have almost the hour. Like to cut things close, Ragazzo?”

“Ah, si,” Spike said hesitantly. “Grazie for your understanding?”

Morhay nodded, eyes closed as he waved a hoof magnanimously. “Is no problem so long as you are having a good performance. Good luck, eh, Ragazzo? And to you of course, Bimba.”

As the stallion left, the party turned as one to Spike, trying to figure out what the actual hay just happened. Spike remained silent for just a second before jumping to the floor. “Whelp, you heard the stallion! We’ve only got one hour to, somehow, memorize and then perform a play. In front of hundreds of ponies. All while trying to fool the Empire long enough to think of an escape plan. Have I got all that right, Stardust?”

“Yup,” the chocobo nodded, dipping his head into a crate. “Found the scripts! Looks like we’re performing… Oh, wow, that’s awkward…”

“B-but I don’t know how to perform!” Twilight stuttered, her eyes growing wider.

“Oh my gosh! We get to put on the next segment of Time Trigger?!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed, grabbing one of the scripts. She shot into the air, as much as the ceiling would allow anyway, squealing as she performed corkscrews. “Eeeee! Dibs on being Chron!”

“Dibs on who what?”

“You actually follow this story?” Trixie asked incredulously.

“Are you kidding? It’s an epic adventure through time to kick flank and take names! They become heroes in multiple time periods! How is that not epic?!”

“Eeyup,” Big Mac nodded, receiving his script for R-0B-Y, the futuristic robot fighting to protect equinnity and machinery together.

“Here, you get to be Black Snooty, the evil alicorn sorceress who joined because she’s actually a good guy! Kind of. It’s complicated!” Rainbow Dash defended, trying to pierce Trixie’s skepticism. “I can’t just explain a couple dozen segment’s worth of plays in just a few minutes!”

“Sure you can,” Spike interrupted. “There’s this alien that landed on Equis millions of years ago, and burrowed its way to the core of the planet to feed off its energy before leaving it totally barren to find another planet and do the same thing over and over. Because of magic and time travelling, the party is composed of warriors from each time era, and they’ve banded together to kill the big bad monster.”

“... Okay.” Trixie said, nodding. “Sounds legit.”

“What?!” Dash exploded. “It is way more complicated than-”

“We don’t have time, Dash,” Spike growled, holding her muzzle closed. “We just need enough to get through this without blowing it all to pieces, so we kinda need to work on memorizing lines more, wouldn’t you say?”

.o.O.o.

“We’re gonna take you down, Soval!” Rainbow Dash said, allowing her costume to flutter in the stage breeze.

“It is our destiny to end you once and for all,” Big Mac continued in a monotone voice behind his metal costume.

“You think it’s our fate for us to die?” Trixie laughed, using her magic to move her fake wings. “History may change, and the world may be in ruins someday—”

“But that is not this day!” Twilight finished, adjusting a pair of goggles as she pulled Big Mac’s Flamethrower from her saddlebags.

“Aurora might have stayed behind in body, but her spirit lives through us!” ‘Chron’ said, clutching her right hoof to her chest. “And for her sake, and the rest of the world, we will finish you!”

“Wait! I’m right here!

The north wall behind the actors blew apart in a shower of concrete and splintered wood. The actors screamed and flung themselves to the side, desperate to get away from harm.

Pinkie Pie strode into the hole confidently, her grin stretching from ear to ear. “We’re gonna party whether you wanna party with us or not! The reinforcements have arrived!

Twilight Sparkle nearly choked, quickly raising a hoof to her mouth to discreetly cover a strained cough. “Ugh, Pinkie! What’s the big idea?!”

She didn’t receive a vocal answer. Instead, what she got were several party favors and a party cannon to go off in her face.

“Surprise!” came the voices of many ponies.

Slowly, her eyes narrowed, Twilight wiped away the confetti and cake batter soaking her muzzle, ignoring the now-ruined tea she had choked upon. “What’s this all about?”

“Oh silly,” Pinkie Pie said, bouncing over and placing a party hat on top of Twilight’s head. “It’s a surprise party!”

“A surprise party for what? It’s not my birthday.”

“I know! Surprising, isn’t it?” Pinkie hopped away, giggling all the way back to her guests. “Okay, everypony! Let’s PARRRRRRTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!” Soon, all the ponies Pinkie had gathered began dancing to an upbeat tune, laughing and socializing as though it were going out of style.

Twilight sighed. She stared forlornly at her gaming console and where her character was paused mid line. “I’m not going to get anywhere with this party going on.” She lamented the lost progress in her mind, but forced herself to switch off her console to head for the heart of the party. She had some choice words for Pinkie Pie.

Minutes later, a form dressed in a skintight black suit crept up to the console. It looked left and right, making sure nopony saw as it carefully began to unplug the cords. The figure only needed a few seconds and then it bounded away, the console clutched tightly to its chest. It rose into the air and out the window, heading for its home in the clouds.

“Great work, Pinkie,” Rainbow Dash said to herself, snickering. “Now I can play all I want while Twilight’s distracted. Now that I’ve got the New Game + unlocked, I’m gonna beat Chrono Triggers for real this time! Speed run playthrough activate!”

Author's Note:

A little April Fool's for you!

PreviousChapters Next