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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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11042495
In due time. I promise you will get the full scene eventually over there.
And they story contenue, hopefully 2or 3 chapters at a time.
Nice
14: Feathered Heart
Annnd roll Credits!
This chapter? Perfection! I waited years for them to become a item ♡
Funny how one can care for fictional characters. Truly a sign of great writing 👍
I really hope you're just about done with the erotic parts of this story (aside from those in the side story) because I'm just about done with them. The whole plot line of the cider and its fallout has felt unpleasant, largely unnecessary, and contrived. It has been the only part of the story that hasn't been an improvement from the original and I'm really hoping we can get back to the political intrigue, non erotic culture shock, and action for which I am here and that I so enjoyed the original for.
In short. Reading about Marcus's bulge is gross. Shoot something already.
11042572
I’ll continue to work on it off and on, but my other stories need attention too. Right now I find myself using this as my go-to story when my other ones are coming readily and I need a break from them. In other words, the story I’m. Always guaranteed to enjoy writing and get recharged by writing.
11042620
Glad you enjoyed!
11042669
On what amounts to a nine-year saga and wait, yep!
11042739
You’re welcome! It’s the culmination of a ship that began all the way back in 2012. I just figured that I needed to get to it sooner rather than later for as long as readers had waited. In fact, like I said in the Author’s Notes, it felt like the story took me there if its own accord. It wanted this.
The best stories make us identify with and even love the characters we meet. That’s why we loved the original Feathered Heart. We really liked the characters of Marco and Gilda and wanted to see how they hooked up in the end. And how the Cloven War was resolved, of course, but that’s coming as well! And at this point, a lot sooner rather than later.
Well this torpedoes the entire romance plotline from the original.
11042825
I spoke up about it early on in the blog post asking about the direction of the fic, did you?
But seriously, I didn't expect this to go on for so long and so dramatically reshape the story.
At chapter 14 in the original we were already in the siege and the marines had battle wagons... and Gilda was finally getting close to realising she'd fallen for Marco and in this one we haven't even left the capitol yet.
You're getting very far off the rails of the original and the main story is dangerously close to becoming a clop fic on its own, which is something the clop sidefic was supposed to prevent. I'll keep reading either way but you need to keep this in mind while writing or else you're going to lose a lot of readers.
Thanks again Firesight for another amazing chapter. I have to say you made my day when I saw this chapter get posted before heading to sleep. I loved all the dialog this chapter, especially this chat between Sgt Rayes and Gilda about his own gryphon. I'm getting more and more exited every chapter you write with this story, getting closer and closer to when the Cloven finally arrive like in the original story. I'm feel certain with your awesome writing skills you'll do the original story justice and make the fight between the Humans/gryphons and Cloven even more epic and entertaining to read than the original. I wish you the best of luck with your next chapter, and as always have fun writing.
11042853
Most delightful. The battles will be legendary
👍
11042825
Your opinion is noted. But to judge from the bulk of the story comments and my prereading crew, who--trust me--are more than willing to tell me if they think I’m off-base, it is not widely shared. Regardless, I’m wrapping this part of the story now. You can consider this the end of the opening arc, with its climax being Marco and Gilda getting together. The Cloven are coming and coming soon.
With respect, I have given readers a ton of brand new political intrigue, culture shock, and even some action that wasn’t there in the story before, to say nothing of a much deeper exploration of griffon society from the Hall of Heroes to their general geopolitical situation. I have introduced races like the Ibex and groups like the Council of Crows, as well as brand new characters like Captain Moran while also delving much deeper into the backstory of the existing ones. So I’m sorry, but I just don’t consider this to be a valid critique.
Lock and load your weapons. It’ll take me two chapters to wrap up the threads here and make the transition from the setup arc to the war one. If you want to see shooting, you’ll get plenty of it. But in the meantime, you might want to consider that I have devoted a great deal of time and effort this year to writing this while occasionally neglecting my other works. A little recognition of those efforts and all the time I’ve put into this would be appreciated.
11042876
Only if letting them finally have sex means there’s nothing else I can do with them and no other reason to read, which is categorically not the case on either point. Readers had waited nine years (initial story launch was 2012) for these two to get together, and it was way past time for it to happen, IMO. It wasn’t like I rushed into it after 14 chapters and 130k words, either--at this point, by actual word count, the new story is equal in length to the original.
In terms of story time, it has been nearly a month since Gilda and Marco first met--plenty of time for things to happen. How long, by the way, had it been in the original even into the middle of the war? Just a couple weeks, near as I can tell.
You did indeed. And hard though it may be to believe, I do listen to my feedback, and take note. Yes, I get that I need to bring the Cloven in sooner rather than later at this point, but I need a smooth transition to reach it. You can consider Marco and Gilda getting together to be the climax of the initial story arc. Now we start a new one--the war arc. The Cloven will arrive in two chapters, so lock and load your weapons.
Can't say I did either, but this is where the story went. Can't say I mind, either, and judging by the bulk of the comments I've been getting, most readers don't. You're welcome to disagree, but I'm honestly quite proud of what I've came up with.
The original went at breakneck speed right out of the gate--IMO it was far too fast, in fact--and as a result suffered from pacing issues and abandoned plot threads/characters, as well as some serious plot holes. That's no offense to DEL, as he just wasn't as good a writer back then (neither was I!). This time, I'm trying to give the cast, world and story the treatment they deserve. Put another way, if the onset of the Cloven attack is delayed for me to flesh out the lore and backstories of the world and characters more before diving into war, that's fine by me.
Duly noted. You've been a good commenter who expresses himself thoughtfully and respectfully even when you don't like something--sadly, that's too often a rare thing nowadays. So I'm truly sorry you're not happy about the direction this is gone.
But at the same time, I can't apologize for it. You may disagree, but the way I've gone about this feels right to me, as this story has--at times--consumed me over the past year and dragged me where it wants to go. I have put many hundreds of hours into writing this, and I don't regret it. I really do think the results have been worth it, and I guess I'd like at least a little more understanding and acknowledgement of the enormous effort I've put into it.
In any event, your warning that I've let the main story come a little too close to a clopfic is taken under advisement, so this will be the last chapter for a while where that may happen. I did make one mistake with the initial release of this chapter in that I forgot to put the author's notes at the top, and include the boilerplate/content warnings. So apologies for that.
11042894
You’re very welcome. Thanks for all the compliments! I’m very gratified you’re enjoying reading as much as I am writing it. In fairness, much of the dialog was taken from chapter 4 of the original story, though I certainly tweaked it here and there. DEL definitely did have a talent for dialog at times.
This chapter more or less ends the opening arc of the story. The Cloven will arrive in two more chapters, and when they do? It’s time for me to give this story the Firefly treatment. Lock and load!
11043002
Thanks as always for commenting! Here’s hoping I can deliver.
11042876
Honestly haven't been reading the blog posts as I don't usually read them aside from to see if authors who haven't updated in a while are alive. They tend to be spoilery. (also i'm a little technologically illiterate and I can't always find them when I get the notification)
11043043
Keep in mind I said "get back to" and "only part of the story that hasn't been an improvement" implying that I have noted and thoroughly enjoyed the other parts. I'm sorry if I wasn't forthright enough but holistically I do greatly enjoy this story, the changes you've made to it, and cautiously look forward to successive updates.
As for your prereaders, how many of them themselves don't enjoy erotic material so as to be sensitive to what may be crossing the line? I know it sounds a little blunt but I can't think of a better way to ask. It isn't rhetorical, I genuinely don't know wether or not that's been considered.
Keep in mind not everyone enjoys clop (though it admittedly seems to be a minority in this community) and it's disingenuous to include it in a story were it's not expected even if you're just riding the line.
11043185
You can filter by blog posts by clicking the View button at the top of the feed list. It will show blogs as one of the options and when clicked, show only blog entries. I’d recommend you follow my blogs, because that’s where I detail what I’m planning and where my stories are going. I try to be very open about my intentions without spoiling too much because I prefer my readers be informed about what's upcoming. If I think some piece of info I share might be too problematic for readers who want to be surprised, then I put it behind spoiler tags.
I see. Then I did indeed misread your post, for which I apologize. Nevertheless, the point stands that I’ve given you plenty of what you're asking for already, and there's certainly more to come. Be careful you don't lose sight of the forest for a single tree or two you don't like.
It's a valid point, given we all like different types of it. Neverthless, I’ve been called out by prereaders for crossing the line on two separate occasions, including on an earlier version of this chapter, and I pulled back both times. For folks like you, I guess that wasn’t enough here. So I’ll clean this chapter up a bit more if you like.
With apologies, I don't really accept that it's not expected. This is a Gentlemanverse-based story, which historically is pretty synonymous with sex. Even the original Feathered Heart had the sex tag lit, meaning it was going to happen eventually.
Take it from a longtime author: There is no way--none--that I can satisfy everyone in a story like this, least of all myself if I start catering to the sensibilities of the most rigid or restrictive reader preferences. Nevertheless, I'll tone down the more lurid parts of this chapter a bit over the next couple days. In any event, thank you for making your points respectfully, and I hope mine came across the same.
11043361
That's what the mature rating is for. It lets folks who don't want to read that stuff avoid the relevant stories or prepare themselves to read around the smut. I disagree with were I believe feathered heart intended to go and what they would have shown. I've seen plenty of folks use the sex tag on teen an not gone anywhere near the extent as has gone here. Also, this story doesn't have a sex tag.
I get that you are the one telling the story and you won't satisfy everyone, myself included. And if you feel these things are necessary for the story you are trying to tell by all means do so. Just indicate to those looking to start the story that you will do so. I find it incredibly odd that you make the effort to make a separate story, separate out some of the explicit content, not use a mature rating or sex tag, but still leave in erotic material.
11043479
Stop. I already have to compromise on this tale by reading two linked fics instead of a singular organic narrative, because of folks like you, who are either disgusted by or ashamed of something in these stories offending "sensibility" of some kind.
The penis is inside clothes, and is not being used for any purpose, and mere acknowledgement of it existing isn't grounds to flip shit over, any more than the parts about the ladies' racks, or the various wing flaring incidents.
So, in short; sit down, strap in, and enjoy the parts of the ride that you like, and otherwise, unless it's for actual critique, shut it.
Regards, a hardcore DEL fan.
The facade with firearms can only last so long. It’ll crumble sooner rather than later, especially after that slip of the tongue.
Also, yes, telepathic spies couldn’t grab passphrases given this system, but they might be able to grab the whole system. Though I’m not sure how the specifics work with the local mind magic. The amount of effort needed for that level of detail could be far more intense than someone could pull off casually.
As for the matter of the main relationship, I never read the original fic, but I can say that recognizing mutual attraction is the beginning of a relationship, not the end of it. There’s a lot more to explore with these two and the continued interaction of their nations and worlds. Looking forward to it.
Somehow I missed when this updated... I hope the sight isn't forgetting to notify me when favorites update again...
In any event, I really enjoyed this chapter. The way the characters are evolving is wonderful, and the chit chat is realistic. Makes the read fun and natural while getting a feel for who the characters all are, without exposition dumps. Can't wait to see where this goes!
Oh, P.S. ~ I think I found a rare pic of Captain Moran from the last sentence of this chapter...
pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1363123631547682878/O2qhMSJD_400x400.jpg
11046498
Sorry, I just realized I never caught up with the latest comments here. Let me fix that now.
It’s crumbling now, as the next couple chapters will show.
They might be able to pull the system, but the problem is, that doesn’t mean you can come up with a suitable sentence in time, especially if you’re not fluent in Equish (which few Ibex are, given Equestria is half a world away) and not practiced in the procedure. Remember there’s a time limit on your response, and they’re not going to be sympathetic if you flub it or fumble, especially if you’re, say, an Ibex disguised as Gilda but she never had a problem coming up with a quick response before.
So basically, this has several layers of security on it and it’s a lot harder to spoof than a simple password. Of course, it’s still a royal pain to learn for anyone who is fluent and needs to be practiced so you get it down pat. Gilda and Fortrakt did so during their convalescence.
Well said, sir. Thank you. I’m flattered this appeals to those who didn’t read the original as well.
11068794
Huh. That’s weird. Well, I can’t help you there, but I’ll try to remember to inform you directly when the next chapter posts.
Thanks for saying so! That’s what i try to do with my writing, and I find it very gratifying when readers say I’ve accomplished it.
Nice. See if you still think the pic is appropriate after the next chapter!
What? Does griffons' news travel at light speed? Because we humans know gossip travels faster than light--even Albert Einstein had to admit that.
Incoming Eros chapter?
11083292
And yet another comment I neglected to reply to... Sorry to take so long.
Exactly. And like all relativistic travel, it tends to get greatly distorted as it goes along.
11139272
In due time! There’s a whole lot of other stuff I have to get to before I can write that.
Griffon x Human = Harpy or Sphinx?
I guess someone didn't like them going under-cover
Them digging for experiences and discovering beyond the limitations expected