This story is a sequel to Will You Ever Be Mine (Re-write in progress)
Canterlot High decided to build a new building and that building will be for their graduating students and if they still want to stay on the same campus they can enroll in the school's new building which is called Canterlot College.
On your past journey as a high schooler has been very magical and now you will be a college student along with your friends, join them in this continuation as you tackle new challenges that will come into your way.
Chapters (33)
She’s grown.
Something tells me that someone is jealous.
They’re in equestria?
Did she just say lol out loud?
Who?
What?
10788972
Sarah Connor.
10789721
Still don’t know who that is.
10789805
You're not familiar with Terminator, are you?
10789831
I’m a little familiar with it, but it’s been awhile.
10789850
Well it's a Terminator reference.
10789863
Oh ok
I’m honestly confused.
10790597
With the story?
10790613
Yeah. A few things just doesn’t make sense.
10790733
The pacing doesn't help either, does it?
10790764
That may be the reason.
10790772
10790613
sorry about that i'll get to working on this I'll rewrite it to give more context and idea
10791453
Ok
10791524
Just letting you know, they rewrote chapter 2.
I think you mean feminine.
10792804
Ok
10792804
they XD?
10792972
I don't exactly know your gender, so I said "they" to not use gender related words such as "her" or "him".
Y'know, like Frisk from Undertale.
10792975
true but all makes sense you used they since your part of this >w<
10792986
I can see that.
I am so confused.
10801387
May I ask on what?
10801704
The first part I was confused about was when rainbow called rush woolykins, what’s that about?
10801707
And the other parts?
10801716
What’s with rainbow dash and her parents?
10801725
Oh that!
Well basically what happened was that a description of an important plot development in a story which if previously known may reduce surprise or suspense for a first-time viewer or reader.
Hope this answered your question.
10801707
Woolykins is actualy another reference from rune factory 3 a fantasy harvest moon
10801716
10801745
I think his question was more of why Rainbow Dash would call Rush that.
10801736
Oh ok.
10801745
10801753
It was.
I think you mean bungee jumping.
Can’t a brother sleep?
Is it that important?
She didn’t make it.
I’m surprised it’s not the other way around. Dating must have changed them.
Is he lying? I wish applejack was here.
10829099
I'm pretty sure that one of the universal rules of dating is to never forget about a date. Though I've never dated anyone before, so I might be wrong.
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I know that, but I didn’t think it was so important to the point she would have tears in her eyes.
10832126
Well I did know a couple that broke up once because one of them forgot a date. Is it dumb? Yes. Is it possible? Also yes.
In the case of Rainbow Dash, she is a pretty selfish person (which is ironic because she's the Element of Loyalty), so I can see her doing that.
10832170
I don’t know about selfish, but it does seem odd to see rainbow dash cry over a date.
10832192
Well I think it'd make sense that they were tears of anger, rather than sadness.
10832259
That may make sense.
10832259
10832270
You two just blew my mind XD
10833242
Thanks?
What’s the big deal?
How did they win the war but lose the battle? And why pick up the artifacts?
They can choose owners?
Finally.
Why is she so nervous?
Wait what?
They were chosen?
They have magic?
You don't really have to write the "[insert character name] said" after every dialogue. You really only have to put it if said character didn't do any action in that paragraph.
For example:
Now notice how I didn't end the first dialogue with "said Charles", and that's because the actions depicted in the sentence before the dialogue establishes that Charles is the one who's saying the dialogue. If the sentence was on a different paragraph, then you could put in "said Charles", like in here:
Now alternatively, you could spice things up by putting the earlier sentence after the dialogue. That way, you could still use "said Charles". Though you'd also need to follow it up with a conjunction, like "as", "and", or "but" to connect the sentence to the dialogue, like in here:
Now that being said, the dialogues I took from this story should look like this:
I hope I was helpful with this.
10853149
You know what's funny this wasn't supposed to come out I've plan this to be 5k words at least XD thx for the tips though since I have to explain the whole AJs parent thing
10853218
You're welcome! Also, that explains why it felt a bit rushed.
Is he serious?
What is with this dude in getting punched in the face? Does he not know how to block or dodge?
What is she gonna hear next?
She’s hiding something.
Is she not gonna be called laziline anymore?
This is getting interesting.
The Apples are gonna have an awkward talk.
What was that?
What words?
Wait what?
He saw that?