The Spy Who Hugged Me

by GaPJaxie

Writer's Block

A request by Equestrian Sen:

Rarity discovers The Writer's Block, also known as The Writer's Cube. It is a large, metallic cube of mysterious origin.

“It’s terrible,” Rarity groaned. “Simply terrible. I’ve been trying to write my memoirs, to immortalize my story, my many adventures. But I have…” She held a hoof to her head, as though she might faint. “Writer's block!”

“Oh,” Fluttershy said, after a hesitant pause. “What… part are you getting stuck on?”

“Well,” Rarity demurred, “it’s not so much that I’m getting stuck on it as that the front face prevents me from reaching my typewriter. You see?”

She gestured to her desk, where an enormous metal cube -- at least eight feet on a side -- rested on top of the remains of her desk. The word remains bares emphasis, for of course neither her desk nor any of its contents were capable of supporting what must easily have been more than ten tons of metal.

Ink, the blood from her slain pens, ran in rivulets over the wooden splinters, the broken shards. A single, solidary typewriter key rested on the floor before the carnage, miraculously face up, and correctly oriented. It was “S.”

“Oh!” Fluttershy’s eyes and wings alike went wide. “Oh, uh. Oh, uh. Oh.”

“Uh,” Rarity supplied on Fluttershy’s behalf, her voice dry. “Indeed.”

“Have you, um…” Fluttershy stared at the crushed desk. “Uh. Actually. What… how did. Where did this come from?”

“Writers block? Nopony really knows.” Rarity shrugged, her tone so light it was almost whimsical. “It simply arrives when it wishes, and writing may not continue until it departs.”

“You can’t just… write somewhere else?”

“Well.” Rarity’s voice was soft, and she gave a helpless half-shrug. “Some writers do find that a change of venue spurs the creative process, but I regret that I am not one of them. No, my writers block follows me wherever I go.”

“Like…”

“Through the wall, dear.” Rarity mimicked a penetrating motion with two hooves. “Once, I attempted to write at the local coffee shop, and it took out two laundromats on its way to intercept me. Not to mention, when it actually landed in the coffee shop itself, it crushed a hipster who was in the seat across from me. But he was hogging all the electrical outlets, so nopony made a fuss over it.”

“Goodness,” Fluttershy said. “I had no idea being a creative pony was so difficult.”

“It is a great burden,” Rarity agreed. “To bring true creativity into this world is a tremendeous undertaking.”

“Is that why you write so much fanfiction instead?”

Rarity froze. She blinked. Then she rose from her seat, and pointed at the door. “Get out.”

“But I just-”

“You heard me!” Rarity snapped, again indicating the door. “Out. Out! It’s an art form, Fluttershy! It’s an artform and I won’t have it mocked in my store.”

“It’s making the cartoon character kiss,” Fluttershy muttered, stalking out of Rarity’s boutique. The door bell jangled behind her, and the door itself swung back and forth several times before finally coming to rest.

Rarity sat back down, with a sharp hiss of breath. “The absolute nerve.”

Comments

[equestrian.sen]

The heroic Writer's Block, always ready to fend off the nefarious Burnout.

That has, in fact, brought me great joy.

[Thought Prism]

Clearly a relative of the infamous Villain Cube.

[Common Tragedy]

“Is that why you write so much fanfiction instead?”

A self burn! Rare but not unheard of. Doesn't Fluttershy know fanfiction is just writing with the building blocks outsourced?

[Daedalus Aegle]

The sheer unmitigated gall

[Admiral Biscuit]

How dare you sir? How DARE you.

[FanOfMostEverything]

Hey, sometimes we make the cartoons punch each other instead of kissing! Or while doing so.