10802673 Plus she hasn't had a real loving parent in forever. The princess gave her a roof and a room and food but not the most important thing for a growing child love. And bringing Cadence in really didn't help matters when it tells a unloved pony that becoming an alicorn is the only way to love.
10802733 Bit childish is fine, just don't rush and go around the place. You jumped straight from Sunset being adopted in the first chap, to her being checked for scars from either Anon-A-Miss or the Fall Formal (Was it both? IDK) to her just chilling w/ her aunt in the third one (Wait, who is Chrysalis related to, Discord or Celestia?)
My point is, try and keep it straight. Have some events that stretch into the next chapter, and actually visit Anon-A-Miss more than once. I mean, that is the title of your fic. it didn't even come up once in the first chapter, and only came up in the second one where Discord day's wh wishes he could send them to juvie.
Also, keep events consistent between chapters. You had Sunset weirded out because she called Discord and Celestia daddy and mommy, yet this was not brought up once when she did the same thing at the end of chapters 1 and 2.
Also, isn't Cadence related to Celestia in some form or another? I think it was either Cadence was her niece or another prodigy or whatever. That might be a good event where Sunset meets Cadence (and by extension, Twilight) sometime.
10819823 That...still doesn't answer a majority of my questions. Though by that case why isn't she talking with her friends about this? You'd think something of this magnitude raising from the scars on her back to being adopted would have them talking
But, the last question, I am assuming this shouldn't follow canon plotline? Because Anon-A-Miss is canonically after the Battle of the Bands,but like 3 months before the Friendship Games
Looks like I will need a new heart.
ok. that is a critical blow to the feels dude.
Update! Im loving this so far
This Is So Cute, Even If The Classification Is Adult
Loving it, so cute!
10802673
Plus she hasn't had a real loving parent in forever. The princess gave her a roof and a room and food but not the most important thing for a growing child love. And bringing Cadence in really didn't help matters when it tells a unloved pony that becoming an alicorn is the only way to love.
10802721
Agreed, thank you.
I know Sunset in this story seems really childish but that's due to her recently becoming part of a loving family.
10802733
Bit childish is fine, just don't rush and go around the place. You jumped straight from Sunset being adopted in the first chap, to her being checked for scars from either Anon-A-Miss or the Fall Formal (Was it both? IDK) to her just chilling w/ her aunt in the third one (Wait, who is Chrysalis related to, Discord or Celestia?)
My point is, try and keep it straight. Have some events that stretch into the next chapter, and actually visit Anon-A-Miss more than once. I mean, that is the title of your fic. it didn't even come up once in the first chapter, and only came up in the second one where Discord day's wh wishes he could send them to juvie.
Also, keep events consistent between chapters. You had Sunset weirded out because she called Discord and Celestia daddy and mommy, yet this was not brought up once when she did the same thing at the end of chapters 1 and 2.
Also, isn't Cadence related to Celestia in some form or another? I think it was either Cadence was her niece or another prodigy or whatever. That might be a good event where Sunset meets Cadence (and by extension, Twilight) sometime.
10819002
10819018
The EG movie and Camp EverFree have already happened in this story so she's already met the human version of Twilight.
Neither of them are related to Chrysalis, they're old friends who view her like a sister which in a way make her Sunset's aunt.
Next chapter she'll meet Dean Cadance.
10819823
That...still doesn't answer a majority of my questions. Though by that case why isn't she talking with her friends about this? You'd think something of this magnitude raising from the scars on her back to being adopted would have them talking
10819831
She doesn't want to talk to them, obviously because of Anon-A-Miss.
They'll maybe talk next chapter. She'll talk to Twilight and Cadence about it as well in the next chapter.
10819843
Eh, that makes sense.
But, the last question, I am assuming this shouldn't follow canon plotline? Because Anon-A-Miss is canonically after the Battle of the Bands,but like 3 months before the Friendship Games
10819851
Friendship Games happen a few months after Battle Of The Bands, then Camp EverFree and then Anon-A-Miss.
In my alternate timeline as a form of alternate canon.
10819859
Eh, I'll roll with it