The Runaway Bodyguard

by scifipony

Chapter 8 — The Card

If Princess Celestia had wanted to find the magic user that had surprised her—or worse, a certain runaway earl she'd been informed about—she wasn't looking for the dozen pegasi tourists at the counter or the late lunch-going pair of earth ponies near me. Or the pair of old biddy unicorns I'd noticed sharing photos of their grandfoals in the opposite corner. Or the earth pony waitress. The unicorn cook, on the other hoof?

I heard steps toward the back as I chewed my previous piece of hay burger and sliced another. The sound of brass horseshoes stopped half way to the kitchen. A cook, of course, wouldn't demonstrate high level magic.

Which left me.

Squelching the thought of making mistakes that would leave bread, burger, and silverware clattering to the table or floor, I separated the bun from the burger, unscrewed the top of the mustard jar I now held, dipped my knife while still holding the fork up, then split my magic yet again and picked up the shake and aimed the straw into my mouth to wash down the burger I'd swallowed.

I turned the page slowly as the hoof falls came up behind me. Looking from the dexter to sinister sides of the parchment page, back and forth, I suspended everything else statically because I felt moisture beading at my hairline.

Still, pretty impressive.

A royal guard mare trotted by and turned to face me. "Hello," she said, cordially and with a friendly smile.

The young pale blue unicorn held her helmet to her side with purple magic that matched her purple eyes. I understood why she used her magic and not a leg: the same reason I did, to have a defensive spell spun up. Her mane was white with grey streaks that looked transparent. Her helmet didn't have the Trojan crest the others had—then I realized everypony had their mane shoved through, though that didn't explain her long straight mane.

Enchanted helmets. Surprise!

I glanced at her. I put down the shake, slathered the horseradish mustard on the slice of burger and set it and the utensils down—including the knife before I realized it. I lowered the book.

Her eyes studied me. She was quite young, probably a new recruit which meant only a few years older than me, but her gaze was penetrating and disconcerting.

Of course it was. She was trained to see flaws in other ponies. Being nearly my age, she could see when a pony was pretending to be a gender that wasn't her birth gender. For that matter, maybe Rambler had, too, but every fiber in his service-oriented diplomatic being caused him to treat everypony as individually special in his or her own right.

The guard said, "May I speak with you?" I took note that her voice wasn't loud or boisterous, but low enough not to disturb the other patrons.

I left my voice natural, knowing I wasn't fooling anypony. I did wear culottes and not britches. I affected annoyance, however, despite saying, "Sure? What's up?"

"Did you just cast a spell about a minute ago?"

I shifted my book up and down, then lifted my fork, knife, shake, plate, the fries, and the quarter of burger together individually, then plunked it down loud enough to make a point of control without making it seem like I'd dropped them. I am the highest level unicorn, I thought, laughing at myself as I knew well how far I had to go to catch up with somepony as powerful as Sunburst. "You could say that."

I hoped she didn't see me sweat.

"You may have seen Princess Celestia on the street just moments ago?"

"I did. I think I recognized Mount Aris on a map. Was that a good place for a debrief?" Tutors had pounded geography into me with my other studies, such as warcraft. Aris had a distinctive triangular shape.

The guard stood blinking and her smile faded into a neutral expression. "I see you aren't interested," she said with mild sarcasm. "However," she tapped a hoof on my book, which I continued to levitate because... you know full well why I did. She added, "You do seem to be a student of magic."

Right. Not many ponies went to a fast food restaurant and read a magic textbook for grins and giggles.

She read, "Marlin's Tertiary Primer for the New Age Thaumaturge." She squinted. "First edition. That book is, what, three hundred years old?"

I turned to look at the maroon cover. It had a gold embossed bearded unicorn head on the cover with a pointy stars-and-bells hat. The shellacked coconut fiber binding didn't look new, but wasn't brittle thanks to regular restoration spells cast upon it. The parchment inside had yellowed and crinkled, but it smelled like a library and I liked that. No, 410 years, I thought, but only nodded. "Nice, huh?"

"You are less old than you look. Are you a student at Celestia's school?"

"Nope." I put down the book with a sigh, but picked up the knife to shift around the remaining fries.

"Well, regardless," she magicked a card from a compartment in her armor. She laid it on the table with an audible click-clack. "Should you ever decide to attend, present this card and you'll be given immediate consideration."

"Really—?" I said, but the mare had already trotted by me. I ignored her grumbled words about "ingrates" because they meant I'd achieved my goal of being dismissed.

I lifted the card. It was the size of a business card, but of some brass alloy and brushed such that it gave off a blue and green moiré pattern as I moved it. Imprinted on it was the number 578 and a rune. I brought it to my eye because I could tell something was odd about it. It took notice of my examination and a spark traveled the length of the crossed, deformed H-shape.

An anti-counterfeiting measure, freshly conjured by the princess herself. I caught the faintest sense of its spell equations before the spark went out. I put it in my saddlebag. It gave me something to puzzle at when I got bored.

I finished my lunch, paid, and left. I looked up and down the street, but Celestia's—what, butler, majordomo?—and the rest of the servants and guards were long gone. Except for the two at attention at the portcullis leading into the castle, the only ponies I saw were the constant traffic of business ponies and ponies pulling carts, vans, taxis, or busses.

It isn't all about you, Aurora Midnight. And, it wasn't this time. Next time though?

There were plenty of buildings on the west side of the street, none of which were businesses. I took out my map to confirm that they were university buildings, and these were the ones that had overflowed the major part of Canterlot University that had been founded inside the walls of the ancient Fortress Canterlot. I started noticing students with books on lawns and under trees, more often gabbing than studying. The buildings were stone and white masonry, with purple side walls and half turrets, most with large windows to draw in the morning sun. Of the five I passed, three looked like clones of the first.

The fifth one looked more prosaic, and, unlike most buildings in Canterlot, had been built of purple brick and not plastered or painted white. It had a peaked black roof that housed a third of three floors. It had three turrets, the largest in the middle, made of purple and tan brick in a pattern that swirled and spiraled upward, capped with a conical roof itself capped by a tiny purple and gold onion dome that matched the motif of the castle. The roofs all had a smattering of golden stars and some large letters. I guessed it was an abbreviated motto in Old Ponish. The entrance was a grand stone affair with golden stairs of travertine. A bunch of fillies played outside, levitating a ball between them.

Unmarked, but with a red loop on the map to point it out, it had to be Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns.

I again paid attention to any one near that might be looking my way, or just suddenly not looking my way. Restaurants, a magic shop, a bakery, and a toy shop stood across the street. All had windows full of glare that made them impossible to easily look into.

I strolled past, went about half a block, then turned around rapidly.

Nopony seemed to have been paying attention. I folded the map and put away.

I suddenly didn't want to do this. My stomach complained, but I scoffed at it. If I'd been able to finish my meal after the scare with Princess Celestia, this was a sherry trifle. What worse could happen?

I found I didn't have the answers as I turned down the paved walk to the famed golden stairs, a lump growing in my throat.

Some of the fillies said, "Hi!" as I trotted by and I smiled at them and said, "Hi!" back. Other than I saw only unicorn faces, what I saw through the windows looked like any other school despite it being segregated. Of course it looked like other schools. There was more than just magic to life, as Proper Step was wont to say. Thaumaturgy was probably sandwiched between history and physical education, but one would hope it focused on practical and advanced magic.

I was right about the steps. They were just oddly stained red, orange, and green travertine that looked gold in the distance. The doors were brass. I saw black tarnish where tiny hooves has scratched it. In the entrance, I found an open atrium with stairs going up and down on the left. I could see a lower level lit below through an open area in the center. Second and third story galleries crossed over the atrium. All the balusters were ruby red cherrywood, topped with banisters of gold.

Hanging down in the middle, lit by a skylight, was a four-story banner of the dear princess. It precessed like a pendulum and lightly undulated in a cross-breeze like her mane. The Empire Art Neighveau graphic had her raising the sun in purple, gold, and red, her wings flared, her body extended to make her look impossibly svelte, and her hooves stretched to the sky and touching a globe that resembled her cute mark. I wondered if the banner was as big as the headmare's ego.

With classes in session, the wide empty halls sounded hollow and looked lonely, with black and white checkered marble scuffed by generations of junior horseshoes. The walls were wood paneled with ingenious pop-out lockers on plank seams that, judging by the inlaid runes, were definitely magic. I looked through a tall glass window in a door and remembered.

I hadn't attended school since I was eight. By then, both Sunburst and I had been advanced to fourth year since both of us were reading adult-level spell books when others were still dealing with books that contained many pictures. My parents had been big on reading to me. My earliest memories involved one or both of their voices. My father always insisted that I sounded out the words, even if he were reading to me, and asked me to explain them.

Sunburst had been a magic nerd and he powered his way through learning anything, with a big sis willing to indulge him and help him learn all the words. We'd met in kindergarten where I first discovered that when he explained a spell, I quickly understood it. Mind you, these were variations of levitate or illuminate, simple things like up versus down or how to scrub. He had a knack for explaining, and a love of showing how by finding and reviewing just the book I needed.

The day after Sunburst earned his cutie mark, I'd gone to school to find he had not gone. The herd of students gathered around to ask if he was well, since Sunburst and I had been each other's special somepony (well, not officially, nor would we have admitted it had anypony if they asked). I hadn't known until the teacher announced he'd left for this very school in far away Canterlot. It made me feel embarrassed; I cried all the way home. Proper Step found me willing to accept private tutors and too upset to protest much about moving to the Manor.

I hadn't thought about "the herd" back in school for what felt like forever. I remembered the fun playing at recess and comparing brown bags at lunch, vaguely. Faces, smiles, teasing, laughter... Friendship was fleeting at best. I didn't remember talking to any of my classmates after that. Perhaps Proper Step had done me the favor of keeping them away.

I shook myself as a teacher noticed a shadow and glanced at me. I'd seen a green slate board with Forest Occupation 221-232 and at the edge of the board, Silvan Detection. History wasn't a forte of mine, but I seemed to remember that Equestria had been overrun by forest monsters once and Canterlot had needed to be liberated. Something about the Everfree and the Queen of the Timberwolves...

The next door showed me what looked like a cooking class making soup, attended by young mares mostly about my age considering the admixture of foals that hadn't yet reached full height. Red clay potted shrubs and grasses dotted the tables. Herbs?

Only one class of the rest I peeked at focused on spell casting. Chalked math filled that green board. I saw one student trying to change the color of a white ball. It flickered purple, but the flushing color wouldn't stick.

As I trotted to the doorway with the Admin sign, it occurred to me that all the classes taught magic at some level. Nice, but I shook my head thinking that learning about spells cast during an historical event wouldn't make it stick any better for me, though cooking and potion-making might combine well, not that an earl would be learning something her servants could do for her.

I trotted into the administration office and involuntarily gasped. Okay, it was more than squeak and less than a shriek. Reflex can be disastrous.

An earth pony constable stood leaning against a counter.

Author's Note:

Comments are always appreciated. Upvotes help the story get more readers to join you in your journey. You want to share, upvote! 👍

UPDATE: Art Nouveau changed to Art Neighveau.

Comments

[SexyBugGodofLove]

Was that guard mare trixie?