Arriving through the portal, coughing up blood with runes engraved into her flesh, Sunset Shimmer has a plan. As a human, no less.
One thing is for sure. She is not after some sparkle crown.
Authors Note: This fiction runs on staggered timelines.
One following Sunset Shimmer on her arrival to Equastria and onwards. Marked THEN
The second is running slightly later with Twilight and Spike at the helm. Marked NOW
Eventually...they will meet.
But strangeness lingers...
What happened to the tree of harmony?
The answer is in that other pov. Their will be a point where is there is no diversion and as this author hopes...adds a amount tension. As Twilight wonders about the bodys and that same strangness
Chapters (2)
i'm so confused on what the hell's going on.
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Ok. Thank you. That helps a lot. Could you specify, if possible?
I wont know, if I dont understand. And I cant improve either.
If I am not clear. what is losing you as the reader? Then I will continue to fail. I dont want that.
I am humble(ish) for a reason. Lol.
Just to give a manner of context...I dont want it to be confusing.
I endeavered to...try? Yes to try? To not just explain?
I could have made it clearer but I did not...deliberately? Because I thought it would be more enjoyable?
This I have failed at.
In truth, I also worried it would bleed into more telling then showing.
Darn.
I apologize...since it is confusing. This not my intent or desire.
But.
What is confusing?
Is the sequence of events not clear?
More telling to actually explain? Whats actually going on?
I wanted to set up hints to what is actually going on. I imagine its just...probably just a bunch of vague nosense? Maybe?
Hmm.
Is it Twilight being not being there that throws everything off? Hmm. Its really the beginning, isnt it?
The lack of a greater set up?
My Grammar? (Sighs dramatically into pillow)
Wait...its about the guards in the beginning?
(This is merely me just getting the words out as it were. I apologize if it sounds...plithy?)
Anyway I appreciate your comment!
Thank you ounce again and have a good day!
Ps. I have updated the chapter to relfect its lacking in quality now. I will edit this later as it is...(looks at clock...squiants...2:36am)
Peace!
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no, everything is too complicated, all i get is Sunset's human and for some reason ponies are being knocked out or she has runes on her. And Twilight's in her room playing with Spike or something. Like why are ponies unconscious, did Sunset have something to do with that?
I'm probably just dumb , so i'm just lost on what's happening
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Hmm. I see. I figured this may happen. I to be honest was unsure on the twilight level. Put her in first ,or last or in the next chapter to get the audience to wonder.
The truth is I plan on and will post everyday until this is done. So it made me rather lacks?
Things just could be explained better?
After doing a little test on plots and their pay offs...ya.
My attempt really is to have staggered timelines, until the two meet in a couple or one chapter.
Ouch. I just figured it'd make for some good story telling? Oh well. ;)
Your not stupid for not understanding. I dont understanding a lot of things. Like writing and following through with plot threads.
Its my job as writer to convey meaning. As I have said to others, perhaps wrongly? If someone does not understand something about whats happening. Their is a measure of responsbility your way.
Even if in truth not every one will like your work. Thats ok. But why not want to be clearer and better understood?
I appreciate your honest and their is no shame in being confused. I find admiting such leads one to greater knowledge.
This is really in truth just a minor adjustment to my process in how I write. It just didnt occur to me that it was confusing.
In my head, mind. Im was going to answer it later, next chapter. But either way. Thank you.
I hope that I have not scared you from reading more of my work.
I will post here to improve my craft. So in the interest in candor. I am currently writing a romance ,and will in turn write comedys, and a tragedy of Celestial proportions.
Also action Twilight because shes awesome. (Guitar solo plays.)
I can only promise that I will improve. Because this will be my job one day and how will I grow if I never listen?
Reagardless, I appreciate your candor.
Peace!