• Member Since 27th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen 23 minutes ago

AuroraDawn


haha rainbow machine go brrr

Comments ( 4 )

and the sexiest changeling, Holtinater.

Hey, I know that guy!

I usually don't like futa, but I can get behind this Luna (or maybe she'd like to get behind me?). Jokes aside, this is some great stuff, and I can't wait to see where you go with Gamete!

I'll try to keep this "review" with my preferences put aside and focusing only on writing.

So, the first thing I noticed is how much time (words) you put into the description of Canterlot. Usually, speaking from experience, clopfics do not have that much scenery description, that is why I immediately noticed it here. It is something you mentioned in your interview, that you wanted to improve backgrounds of your locations. And I must admit it was very good for how compact it was, I'm impressed. The lack of grammatic errors is also a big plus, I feel like it should be mentioned more often for how tedious it can be. Me mostly sticking to some writers somewhat restrict my vocabulary, so while reading this I had to actually google some terms. And lastly, the dialogue. When I asked myself to look at this objectively the first thing that came to my mind was that I really liked the characters. It is my first time reading about Gamete, and I think I prefered Luna in this fic.

“Would you kindly shut up and fuck me?”

Words that seem simple on the surface, can convey a lot of information in the right context.

Overall it was an above average read.

I wasn't expecting Luna to be the futa so nice surprise there although I'm a bit surprised Luna only has male bits, at least according to the parts mentioned. Still nice.

Login or register to comment