The Tough Tavern

by Polaris Solarmoon

The Tough Tavern

It's a bright and beautiful sunny day, not a cloud was in the sky save for the one that Rainbow Dash was currently resting on after a long day of work.

After a few hours of resting Rainbow Dash grew bored and left the cloud to go to an old hangout spot. A sports bar on the other side of ponyville called The Tough Tavern.

Once she got there she was stopped by a rather huge stallion at the door, rainbow knew this pony is the bouncer and his job is to keep the cute and or weak ponies out.

"Welcome to The Tough Tavern, How Tough are ya?" The bouncer said.

Rainbow Dash answers him by saying," uh dude you know me, it's me Rainbow Dash." With a deadpan expression.

"Oh sorry 'bout that Rainbow Dash but you know it's required of me ta say that to everyone who come here." The bouncer says before moving out of Rainbow's way.

Rainbow would then tell him that it's fine then headed inside, once in she saw a bunch of big and tough looking ponies as well as a few dragons and griffins, She even saw a bunch of posters of a masked mare by the name of "Papillon Blue" on the walls, she heard a rumour of said mare owning The Tough Tavern from some of the patrons who she spoke to the last time she was here.

She went up to the counter and ordered some water to drink, after a little while until the barkeep gave her some water which she drank with gusto,It wasn't long until Rainbow Dash got an idea, she immediately flew out of the Tough Tavern and makes her way to Fluttershy's home.

On the way to Fluttershy's she's stopped by a bunch of ducks flying in her path, after a long wait the ducks eventually cleared and Rainbow Dash was able to get over to Fluttershy's home, once she landed in front of the house's door she immediately starts to knock.

Fluttershy would then answer the door and see her friend almost vibrate with excitement.

"Um hi Rainbow, are you feeling alright?" Fluttershy says in concern.

"Yeah,I just had the greatest idea ever! So I was at my old hangout spot and I thought "hey how about I bring Fluttershy here" so that's why I'm here now so do you wanna come with me?" Rainbow Dash said.

"Well um I'm not really busy today so sure." Fluttershy says before Rainbow Dash immediately grabs her them flies all the way back to the Tough Tavern and lands right in front of the door.

"I'm back and I brought a friend! " Rainbow Dash says to the bouncer who had retaken his post after Rainbow left.

"Rainbow look, you know the rules right no cute stuff allowed." The bouncer says referring to Fluttershy who was now dizzy from the sudden flight.

"What!? Can you at least do that spiel again!?" Rainbow Dash asked him.

"Alright, Alright just uh set her in front of me and I'll say it" the bouncer said.

"Hey Flutters, this is the place I wanted you to see. Pretty cool right?" Rainbow Dash says to Fluttershy once she got over her dizziness.

"Oh um it's kinda scary." Fluttershy said.

"Just stand in front of the bouncer, you'll be fine." Rainbow says to reassure Fluttershy.

The shy mare would then walk in front of the bouncer and put on the bravest face she could.

"Welcome to the Tough Tavern how.... tough..are...oh..." The bouncer says before taking one good look at Fluttershy then immediately moving out her and Rainbow's way. The bouncer wasn't even able to finish the usual greeting as he now cowered at Fluttershy's hooves.

"Uh you okay man?" Rainbow Dash asked him.

"N-no, don't you know who this mare is!? That's Flutter freaking shy! Aka "Papillon Blue" otherwise known as the toughest mare in all the world! Word is she made a dragon cry, a freakin' dragon! If that ain't tough nothing is! She owns this place too ya know! She is more than tough enough to enter here and is good to go for a LONG time." The bouncer says before curling up in a ball and rocking back and forth in an attempt to calm himself.

"Oh right I forgot that our achievement book things were given out to the public once, my guess is that some of the ponies here must of saw my feats and well as you can see did this in my name. I mean I'm flattered but they didn't need to exclude cute things here. Oh and I don't have a clue who this "Papillon Blue" is." Fluttershy explains to both a slack jawed Rainbow Dash and the bouncer.

"G-go right on in both of ya I'm not stopping you..." The bouncer says as he continues to rock back and forth.

"Shall we rainbow?" Fluttershy says as she drags Rainbow Dash inside.

Rainbow would eventually shake off her shock and the head over to the bar and once again order a glass of water. She would notice that practically everyone there was either hiding in a corner or shaking in there boot because of Fluttershy's presence said mare waves at them which then make a good number of them faint dragons included.

Fluttershy was treated like a Queen at the Tough Tavern even though she just wanted to hangout with Rainbow who simply sat there and watched as the toughest ponies there would do their best to stay away. She noticed that her old friend Glida was in the crowd of griffin who were all in the corner keeping their distance not out of disrespect but out of fear.

Said bird eventually swallows her fear and confronts the two of them.

"And here I thought you're friends were lame Dash, that is until I read that book of yours. Who would've thought the toughest pony ever was miss meek and shy here. heh no offense..." Glida says to Rainbow before rejoining the other griffins.

"Ready to go Flutters?" Rainbow Dash said.

"Oh right sorry, bye everyone." Fluttershy says before she and rainbow leave for her home.

The bouncer and some of the patrons immediately wave goodbye and then go back to their usual business but will never forget the visit from toughest pony ever...

Author's Note:

A neat little story starring Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash

A gift for MythrilMoth for inspiring me to make this story with the character of "Papillon Blue"

Comments

[Loganberry]

Hello! Have a review. The twist is amusing if obvious, and cameos like Gilda's are fun. It's all a bit loose and scattergun, though, and it desperately needs proofreading. Plus Rainbow ordering water in a tavern like that? I sadly can't rate this fic highly as it stands, but fixing those issues would bump it into my next rating up.

[Polaris Solarmoon]

11400732

A: I don't think rainbow would drink anyway as she's an athlete and mostly hangs out here.

B: feel free to proofread it yourself cus I can't do any better ...

[Polaris Solarmoon]

11401410
Sorry if this was bitter but I really tried my best on this one...

[Loganberry]

11401413
Hi again. I'm not doubting the effort for a moment. You don't write 70 fics unless you try. I know it's not the nicest feeling to get a negative review, as I've been there myself. (Here's one of the worst reviews I've received.) I have to be honest about what I think when I write a review, since just saying I loved everything I read would be useless to my readers, who are hoping for information about what stories are like. But yeah, it's not the easiest thing to get, and it definitely isn't meant personally. If you enjoy writing ponyfic, which you must do to write so much of it, that's all that matters. I hope you write more and enjoy doing it.

As far as proofreading goes, it's mostly little things in The Tough Tavern. For example, instead of:

"Welcome to The Tough Tavern, How Tough are ya?" The bouncer said.

it would read more smoothly if you'd written it as:

"Welcome to the Tough Tavern. How tough are ya?" the bouncer said.

You don't need to capitalise the word after the closing quote in speech, unless it's a word that's capitalised anyway like a name. On the other hand, you do always need to capitalise names, so where right near the end you have "she and rainbow leave for her home" that needs to be "she and Rainbow leave for her home". Actually "left for her home", because...

Another little thing is keeping the tenses consistent. In some places you've got the narrative in the past tense ("the bouncer said") and in others it's in the present tense ("Rainbow Dash answers him"). That looks as if you can't decide which to use. Pick one and stick to it; the past usually works best for stories like this.

That kind of thing, anyway. There's some cute and fun stuff in your fic, and keeping the underlying story the same but making it read more smoothly would turn it into a better story. You don't have to, of course -- it's your story, not mine. But hopefully there's at least a little bit you find helpful in here. Enjoy your writing!

[Polaris Solarmoon]

11401574

Oh ok.