Thursday 2: Professor Snape is a Massive ****
“BLOOM, there you are,” Scootaloo cried.
Apple Bloom never had the chance to reply as a speeding bullet crashed into her and knocked her to the floor.
“Oops, my bad,” Scootaloo giggled now on top of Apple Bloom. “Still getting used to flying indoors at a controlled speed.”
“Flying indoors!” Apple Bloom exclaimed, “Professor Sprout is going to give you detention for life and that’s if Snape doesn’t catch you first!"
“Nope, they can’t, Madam Pomfrey granted me permission because of my foot.”
A guilty look crossed Apple Bloom’s face and she replied in a low tone, “Is it really that bad?”
Scootaloo poked Apple Bloom’s nose with a finger as her trademark mischievous grin slowly crossed her face. “Nothing for you to worry your pretty head about, although, I might need some help getting off you,” she chuckled.
Apple Bloom carefully removed and placed her friend to one side before rising from the floor and dusting herself down. “Eugh, look at me. I’ve a good mind to leave you down there. I had only just got cleaned up after helping Professor Sprout in Greenhouse One this morning,” Apple Bloom grumbled.
“So that’s where you disappeared to this morning. Although, I’m not sure you should have been discharged,” Scootaloo chuckled from the floor as she held out her right hand.
“And why’s that?” Apple Bloom demanded refusing to assist her friend of the floor until said question had been answered.
“It seems you’ve a severe case of Sweetietosis. A rare and contagious disease that makes you act like a…”
Scootaloo got no further as her robes suddenly transfigured into the most garish and girlish pink dress imaginable.
“Oh dear. Well, you did say it was highly contagious Scootaloo,” Sweetie chuckled wickedly coming up behind Bloom.
“Sweeeeeeetieeeeee,” Scootaloo whined looking at her friend imploringly from the floor as she heard the rest of her dormmates erupt with laughter at her expense behind Sweetie.
“Sorry but I’m afraid there’s no cure and you had made those robes frightfully dirty,” Sweetie admonished good-humouredly, playing along with her friend’s earlier accusation that she was a girly girl as she used her horn to levitate Scootaloo off the floor and stuck the crutches Hermione had been carrying next to her under both of Scootaloo’s arms. “And this will also teach you not to disregard Madam Pomfrey’s instructions to avoid strenuous exercise for the next week at least.”
“Hey, I told you I don’t need no crutches, I’m quite happy flying…”
“If you even attempt to fly once indoors again over the next week after that stunt, I’ll not only double the amount of work in our tutoring sessions but never teach you the art of hypnosis,” Hermione stated firmly whilst looking deep into her girlfriend’s eyes and snapping two of her fingers.
“Yes, Hermione. I’ll be a good girl,” Scootaloo replied robotically before shaking her head and staring at her girlfriend with a look of concern. “You didn’t.”
“I may have had some free time in the summer in between preparing for my second year,” Hermione confessed with a guilty grin.
Scootaloo looked at her girlfriend as if she were standing on a set of railway tracks with the Hogwarts Express hurtling towards her at breakneck speed. Before she could regain her composure though, a dreary voice the collection of second years had come to unfortunately know only all to well over the past year boomed overhead.
“Miss Granger, congratulations on volunteering to be our test subject in class today. Devil knows where or how you learnt hypnosis.” He paused for a moment as he turned his attention momentarily onto Scootaloo and sent a sharp glower her way before turning his attention back to Hermione. “But you ever attempt to hypnotise any of your peers again and I’ll have you expelled before you can say Wingardium Leviosa, understood?” Snape droned approaching the second-years.
“Yes sir,” Hermione said glumly staring at floor.
“Good. Now, I suggest you all get to breakfast; you know I do not tolerate tardiness,” Snape instructed.
“Yes sir,” the second-years repeated hastily retreating to the safety of breakfast before Snape whipped out any more punishments for the smallest of infractions.
Just as Scootaloo reached the doorway to the Great Hall she heard the Potions Master’s dreaded monotonous drawl addressing her one final time.
“And Miss Prewett, although I should punish you for not abiding by the school’s dress code, the new look suits you. I expect you to not only wear that for the rest of the day but in every Potions lesson this year,” Snape sneered.
Scootaloo’s face dropped like a stone.
*
“Fucking miserable old bastard. Just because he doesn’t know how to have fun doesn’t mean he should stop everyone else from having any,” Scootaloo growled angrily as she struggled on her crutches out of the Great Hall after breakfast. “Mark my words, I’ll get him back for this one.”
The poor girl had been the source of everyone’s amusement throughout breakfast. Even the usually straight-faced Professor McGonagall couldn’t help but let out a small titter at Scootaloo’s unusual attire. At least she had tried to hold back her laughter unlike her father who had rolled on the floor laughing for several minutes until Sweetie had transfigured his clothes into a similarly garish pink dress. That, had, at least been one bright moment in an otherwise extremely embarrassing and miserable breakfast for Scootaloo.
“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that,” Apple Bloom responded flatly. “And I won’t be responsible for any potions you end up testing as a result if you get caught.”
“He embarrassed me in front of the entire school, of course this means war. And don’t worry, I don’t plan on getting caught,” Scootaloo replied with yet another of her trademark grins.
Apple Bloom rolled her eyes knowing that any further attempt to try and make her friend see sense would be futile. “I’m just going to forget we ever had this conversation. Now, give those to Hermione and jump on my back. I’m not having you make us late.”
*
“Good morning second-years,” Snape droned as he entered the classroom.
“Good morning Professor Snape,” the Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs echoed as one in reply.
“I am glad to see after yesterday’s events that we have a full class once again in attendance,” he scoffed with a derisive look at Scootaloo.
Scootaloo would have liked to have retorted something not so nice in reply but, with the morning’s earlier meeting still fresh in her mind, she wisely opted to keep her mouth shut as Snape continued addressing the class.
“Last year I introduced you to potions and established the basic theoretical framework while applying that knowledge slowly over the year to some of the most basic of potions. This year will be a lot more practical based and focus on applying this knowledge along with perfecting those potions we first attempted last year,” Snape informed the class. “I just hope you haven’t been goofing off over the summer like my third-years and forgotten everything I taught you last year, as it shall be your responsibility to catch up.” He turned his head to Harry. “Potter, give me five of the ten vital steps to an effective potion,” he demanded.
Harry gulped, but took a deep breath and replied, “Clean and correctly functioning equipment are the first two sir. Another two would be ensuring you follow the recipe exactly as described and to use the correct ingredients. Finally, you must bottle the potion carefully and correctly.”
For a second Snape’s face took on a look of surprise before it returned to its usual grim demeanour. “Yes, that is correct. A point to Gryffindor,” he drawled.
Ron couldn’t help but let out a small snigger next to Harry upon the professor’s discomfort at having to reward Harry for remembering something he thought for certain he would have forgotten over the summer. He was so distracted that he didn’t notice Snape turning his attention on him until it was too late.
“Mr Weasley, if you find your friend’s knowledge amusing maybe you would like to enlighten us with the other five vital steps to a successful potion?”
Ron immediately looked up at the professor with the expression of a deer caught in a car’s headlights. “Erm, precise timing in both the brewing and ageing processes. Using the correct incantation and being confident in your own ability is another.” Ron looked nervously around trying to remember the final one. “Did Harry mention ingredients?” he finally said with a sheepish grin.
Snape smiled wickedly. “Incorrect, the final one you were looking for was stirring techniques Mr Weasley. Still, a decent effort and I shall not punish you for your misdemeanour on this occasion.” Snape turned and marched back to the blackboard pulling it down as he did so to reveal the ten vital steps in a list written upon it.
He slapped a ruler upon the board to guarantee everyone was paying attention before continuing. “I shall leave these upon the board during every practical lesson to remind you. Abide by them and you will be rewarded but fail and you shall be punished. I will not accept substandard potions, and not only will you be deducted house points for poor efforts, but you will also have to come back in your own time to remake them. Furthermore, any unsatisfactory potions shall be tested by whoever made them, if I deem that they are safe for human consumption. The same applies for ill-discipline as our two volunteers today have discovered. Miss Granger and Miss Apple, please grace us with both of your presences at the front of the class immediately.”
There were a number of hushed murmurs at the mention of Apple Bloom’s name. The only pupil Snape seemed to have any time or patience with aside those in his own house was the last person any of the class expected to be in trouble.
“What did I just say!” Snape roared slapping the ruler upon the blackboard once more as Apple Bloom and Hermione hastily made their way to the front of the class. “Another word out of turn from any of you and I’ll have the whole class back here at the end of the day to join Miss Prewett.”
“Oh c’mon,” Scootaloo retorted before she could stop herself. “Shit,” she slammed her head on her desk.
“Well done Miss Prewett. You just got an audience to witness you taking veritaserum. Oh wait, that’s right, you’re now apparently a god and likely immune to its effects unless they are of comedic value. Thus, I think it would be better if we save my prodigy’s punishment until later for not obeying my instructions,” Snape sneered malevolently.
“I’ll take both punishments sir. Scootaloo has already been through enough and I deserve it for my indiscretion. I’m sorry my inquisitive mind got the better of me. It won’t happen again, I promise,” Apple Bloom replied glumly looking at the cold hard stone floor of the Potions lab.
Snape’s eyes actually widened for a flickering moment before, to the class’s astonishment, he walked over, dropped to one knee, and actually wrapped his arms around Apple Bloom.
The girl herself was to stunned to speak at the sudden and unexpected embrace as Snape whispered in her ear.
“I feel your pain but you mustn’t blame yourself for another’s choices. We each forge our own path in life and make our own choices. Remember that.”
And with that Snape slowly let Apple Bloom go and returned to both of his feet.
The flabbergasted second-years continued to stare utterly speechless at the Potions master.
“In light of Miss Apple’s selflessness, there shall be no detention for anyone, as long as you all behave yourselves throughout the rest of today’s lesson. Now, without wasting anymore time, today we shall be starting our journey into hair potions,” Snape droned pulling two vials with identical sickly green liquids from his robes and placing them down on his desk.
“One of these is Hair-Raising Potion, the first potion we shall be making this year in this double lesson next week. The other is what my errant protégé brewed without permission from a book of highly sophisticated, macabre and dangerous potions I leant her from the library’s restricted section over the summer and something we shall be covering theoretically over the next week.”
This highly disturbing description from Professor Snape had the desired effect he wanted in bringing the majority of the second-years out of their stupor, including Hermione, who looked at Snape as if he’d gone insane, as it dawned exactly what he was about to say.
“As Miss Apple knows exactly which is which, Miss Granger, the choice is yours. Choose wisely, you have thirty seconds. And don’t expect my protégé to assist you in any way,” Snaped finished, a wicked sneer drifting across his face as he did so.
Hermione gulped and stared at the two identical vials on the desk. Even for her there was no way of telling which was which, so she opted to just grab the one on her left, uncork it and get the whole ordeal over with as quickly as possible.
“Blegh, that was vile,” she said with a look of revulsion as she turned back to Professor Snape who still had that wicked sneer upon his face as Apple Bloom picked up, uncorked and sniffed the second vial.
“Hair-Raising Potion, no doubt about,” she stated stoically as she downed her punishment.
“Ah.” In her haste to not anger Snape further Hermione had forgotten she could have uncorked and smelt both potions as she suddenly remembered from her summer reading that Hair-Raising Potion was known for its unique minty smell.
“I’m guessing by that look on your face you’ve already realised the error of your ways?” Snape droned unsympathetically.
“Yes, sir. Don’t rush into making decisions,” Hermione responded robotically.
“And…” Snape urged.
“Remember to always smell a potion before testing to ensure it has been correctly brewed and that it is the potion it should be.”
“And…” Snape urged for a second time.
“Don’t hypnotise my girlfriend. Now, might I ask what did I just drink? And why my hair suddenly feels funny?”
“Screaming Snake Hair Potion,” Apple Bloom deadpanned as her own hair started standing upright of its own volition.
Hermione turned and stared at her friend gobsmacked as her hair suddenly started hissing very, very loudly much to the girl’s horror. Most of the students, who had been staring at Hermione in disbelief at her transforming hair were now pressing their hands to their ears.
“Miss Apple, despite your disregard for obeying instructions again, your Screaming Snakes Hair Potion is pure perfection,” Snape yelled to the class trying to make himself heard above the snakes. “Still, I will not reward disobedience, understood?”
“Yes sir,” Apple Bloom replied solemnly.
“Will you two stop gossiping and do something!” Hermione wailed as her now extremely pale face stared into a pocket mirror she had pulled from her robes. The girl’s usual frizzy locks had been replaced by a whole bed of dull green and black angry looking hissing snakes. “Didn’t you say that you learnt to speak to animals in the summer?” she added with a desperate glance towards Apple Bloom.
“Err, about that…” Apple Bloom started to say awkwardly.
“Although applewood wand owners have an innate tendency to be able to converse with animals and magical beings, a notable exception is their inability to communicate with serpents. This is most likely due to this type of wand mixing poorly with the dark arts, something which Parseltongue is notoriously linked to because of its connections to Salazar Slytherin and Lord Voldemort,” Professor Snape interrupted and explained to Hermione.
Hermione’s desperate glance at her friend turned to an angry glower before Professor Snape went on.
“Do not worry Miss Granger. I’ve the antidote in my office and am, unfortunately, required by law to provide it. Give me a moment.” He turned and headed to his office only to turn back in the doorway for a split second. “As for the rest of you,” he said with a stern expression across his face. “Remain in your seats unless you wish for me to revoke my earlier leniency and have you all back here testing veritaserum later. I will return momentarily.”
And with that he was gone and the class immediately started whispering to each other. Seamus even had the audacity to throw a paper airplane across the room.
The snakes that had replaced Hermione’s hair had gotten bored of screaming their lungs out and had instead started squabbling and biting each other causing Hermione some discomfort.
“Yowch!” she squealed. “Will you stop that? It hurts. YOW! Will you lot quit it?” Hermione groused painfully, wanting to rub her sore scalp but at the same time not wanting one of the snakes to bite her.
Scootaloo, split between laughing and stressing herself to death over her girlfriend’s current predicament, was just about to rise from her chair and offer whatever assistance she could, when a strange hissing sound met her ears. The snakes instantly stopped fighting one another and, seemingly in some sort of trance, slowly started to drift off to sleep. Hermione was staring open mouthed at Harry who was walking towards her speaking some sort of strange language. The chatter in the classroom had also very quickly died down to nothing upon the realisation of just what Harry was doing.
The shattering of glass brought everyone back to reality and the snakes immediately awoke with a jump and began screaming once more.
“POTTER, just what do you think you are doing,” Snape growled furiously as he stormed over to Harry from his office doorway and lifted the poor boy up off the ground.
“I-I, t-the snakes were causing Hermione trouble sir. I just wanted to help and remembered the time I talked to a boa constrictor in a zoo. It wanted to see Brazil you see…” Harry began to ramble nervously.
“ENOUGH!” Snape bellowed louder than even the howling snakes that made up Hermione’s hair. “You are never, ever to use Parseltongue on school grounds again. Only the foulest and darkest of all wizards use such a language to command serpents to do their evil bidding. Do I make myself clear Potter?” he finished in a tone colder than a Dementor's kiss.
“Y-yes sir,” Harry stammered as Snape lowered him to the floor, the boy’s feet barely touching the floor before he’d pelted back to his desk.
“Good, and that’ll be ten points from Gryffindor for using dark magic,” Snape sneered after Harry before turning and looking at the only vial of Screaming Snake Hair Potion antidote that was now smashed all over the floor. “Shit, Madam Pomfrey is going to hang, draw and quarter me,” he grumbled to himself before turning back to his second-years who were talking in low whispers between themselves about Harry’s unique talent.
“All right class, settle down. Miss Granger and Miss Apple please take your seats also,” Snape commanded.
Hermione wanted to argue but didn’t want to get herself in any more trouble and as such reluctantly took her seat next to Scootaloo. The snakes that were now her hair had opted to once more start arguing with each other.
“There has been a slight change of plans,” Snape informed the class. “I am now going to teach you all how to brew Screaming Snake Hair Potion antidote. Although a little complex for students of your level, I’m sure at least one group of you will be able to brew it successfully, especially as the best batch shall be rewarded with no homework for the remainder of the month.”
This last bit had the desired effect Snape wanted as the class hastily brought their cauldrons out and got ready to attempt to create the potion he was now writing down on the blackboard.
*
“I’d hardly call that a fair competition,” Ron whined as they departed their Potions lesson.
“At least you had a chance, my arm left arm is still numb from the number of times Hermione’s snake hair bit me,” Scootaloo grumbled as she struggled on her crutches. “You could have at least let us have a chance of brewing the antidote Bloom.”
“None of you would have been able to do so aside Hermione and she was rather pre-occupied. It’s way above your current levels,” Apple Bloom replied bluntly. “As shown by the fact Harry’s and your attempt Ron has possibly by now burnt its way through to the Earth’s core. How you managed to brew Fluroantimonic acid from those ingredients is anyone’s guess.”
“Fluroanti what?” Ron interjected looking thoroughly confused.
“The strongest known corrosive acid in existence. Yet the fact that wasn’t even the worst attempt only further validates my point and besides, I owed Hermione one for brewing it in the first place,” Apple Bloom explained as she looked looked over at Hermione with a broad smile and a nod of her head. No explanation was required and Apple Bloom’s attention swiftly turned to that of her boyfriend whose face was covered in soot after his and Seamus Finnigan’s attempt had unsurprisingly exploded. And not even that had been the worst attempt.
The two Sallys were covered in sticky pink goop, Hannah and Meghan had summoned a horde of flailing tentacles whilst Wayne and Dean’s attempt had ended up turning as black as the night’s sky with more eyes than snakes atop Hermione’s head. It had been a challenging lesson to say the least for Professor Snape who had just been thankful that his apprentice had once more exceeded his expectations.
Scootaloo thought for a moment and then, for once, agreed with Apple Bloom’s assessment. “I see your point. No way in Tartarus should he have even let us attempt such a potion. Typical snake trying to cover his back. I’ve a good mind to go to Dumbledore about this latest incident but I suppose I should just be grateful we got Hermione’s hair back to normal,” she finished with a resigned sigh. Snape had certainly won this battle as a number of the school clocks began to chime in the background.
“Oh shit, we’ve only five minutes to get to History!” Scootaloo exclaimed.
Everyone stared at Scootaloo as if she’d gone mad.
“Are you sick?” Ron eventually enquired.
“Yeah, when have you ever been interested in history?” Apple Bloom seconded the initial enquiry.
“When Professor Binns will finally be teaching us something interesting. Don’t you remember the Start of Term Feast? He’s teaching us about the Chamber of Secrets today! Snape already gave me a brief overview back at the Burrow but I’m just bursting to find out more about it,” Scootaloo exploded practically bursting with excitement.
“And I would like to ask him more about what Parseltongue is and how it is linked to He Who Must Not Be Named and Salazar Slytherin,” Harry stated entering the conversation, having been unusually quiet and distracted since the Parseltongue incident during Potions.
“Parseltongue is the language of serpents. Those who are able to speak the language are referred to as Parselmouths,” Hermione replied in a serious tone as they began to hastily make their way to History.
“Oh, okay. So why was everybody looking at me funny in Potions then?” Harry asked Hermione.
“Because, it’s a very rare gift. Only those descended from Salazar Slytherin are known to be able to speak it. He Who Shall Not Be Named is thought to be one of his descendants as he is apparently able to speak it fluently as well and because of this it’s seen as an attribute of a dark wizard,” Ron replied.
“Salazar Slytherin? You mean the founder of Slytherin?” Harry gulped as memories of his hat sorting once again crossed his mind. Should he have really ended up in Slytherin?
“Yes, but look on the bright side,” Ron stated as they neared Class 4F.
“Ron, how can there be a bright side? Almost the entire second year contingent of Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors think I’m the descendant of some evil crackpot wizard from a thousand years ago and are probably also spreading rumours throughout the school that I’m actually Lord Voldemort’s illegitimate child or something,” Harry said exasperated resulting in a snort of amusement from Scootaloo as she opened the door to the classroom.
“Maybe, but the twins once told me of a rumour that Parseltongue was the only way to override and reset all of the Slytherin dorm's security. Considering how angry Snape was back in the Potions lab, I’m guessing the rumour might have some truth to it. Wouldn’t it be hilarious if poor little Malfoy and the rest of those snakes had to sleep on a cold floor in the Great Hall because the password to their common room and dormitories suddenly changed?” Ron said with a smirk as both he bumped into Scootaloo ahead of him, the girl having stopped dead in the doorway.
Scootaloo turned and gave both boys the look of a predator cornering her prey. “I’m listening.”
*
For the first time ever in History of Magic, no one fell asleep. Professor Binns was actually shocked, and somewhat irritated, that the students wanted to ask him questions on the subject. After being informed that their next lesson would centre around the Chambers opening fifty years ago, along with being set their homework for the week, the second-years were dismissed and had headed off to either their common rooms or the library to make a start on one of the two essays they had been set for homework that morning. Or rather, most had.
“Just where has that little minx disappeared to this time,” Hermione grumbled looking around everywhere for Scootaloo as she left Class 4F. “You would think it would be pretty difficult for a girl on crutches to disappear but not her, of course not her. When I get my hands on her…” her voice trailed off as she snapped the pencil in her hand.
“Ditto,” Apple Bloom replied. “And considering that Ron and Harry are also missing and the probing questions she was asking Professor Binns, I think it’s pretty obvious what she’s up to,” Apple Bloom deadpanned.
“Gone to try and reset the password to the Slytherin dormitory?”
“Eeyup,” Apple Bloom replied with a heavy sigh.
“I would suggest trying to stop them but it would be pointless. Harry might have some sense in that brain of his and see reason but Ron and Scootaloo don’t have even an ounce between them. Those two would just end up coaxing Harry into going along with whatever idiotic plan they’ve conjured up in spite of our excellent reasons not to,” Hermione sighed.
Apple Bloom shrugged her shoulders. “That’s Pegasi for you. Miss Cheerilee, our former teacher back home in Equestria, once taught us that each of the three tribes has a simple motto that dates all the way back to before the unification. For us earth ponies its “Stay strong and fight on”. Unicorns its apparently “Trust in your magic and let it guide you”.
“And Pegasi?” Hermione cut in.
“Act first, think later,” Apple Bloom deadpanned.
“You’re kidding me?” Hermione responded looking at Apple Bloom as if the other girl had just grown another head.
Apple Bloom shook her head. “Nope,” she replied trying desperately, but failing, to hold back the smile that was creeping across her face.
Hermione, likewise, was barely holding back from breaking out into full blown laughter but managed to hold herself together enough to reply, “Pegasi: A bird-horse hybrid with very few brains and as such will always act first, think later, e.g., Scoti Alaw Prewett.”
After finishing her definition of her girlfriend Hermione looked over at Apple Bloom who was giving her an increasingly sceptical gaze.
“You forgot their desire to find a sensible and more intelligent mate to balance their idiotic tendencies,” Apple Bloom deadpanned before neither girl could withhold the laughter bubbling inside them any longer and doubled over in utter hysterics.
After a minute or so Hermione straightened up and asked, “Want to go to the library to make a start on our Potions essay seeing as Scootaloo’s disappeared?”
“Sure! Neville, Sweetie, want to…” Apple Bloom started to say only to find that they too had disappeared. “Seriously, them too, just what is that hair brained Pegasus planning this time?” Apple Bloom sighed. “You know what? Forget it; I don’t want to know.”
“Ditto,” Hermione replied.
*
“So, we finally found the entrance; what now?” Ron enquired.
“A-a-and might I ask why I am here again?” Neville chipped in.
It had taken Scootaloo, Harry, Ron and Neville half an hour to locate the entrance to the Slytherin common room and only then had they found it by sheer chance, nearly falling over a Slytherin student as they entered. The four of them were now huddled in a dark corner a little way away so as not to be disturbed while they plotted their next move.
“To be honest, I’m not entirely sure,” Scootaloo replied stroking her chin thoughtfully. “And Neville, how many times do I have to tell… wait where’s Harry?”
“It’s done, I suggest we get out of here immediately,” Harry said nervously from behind Scootaloo making the girl jump with fright.
“Don’t do that. You scared me half to… wait, what do you mean it’s done?”
“I just walked up to it and like before it just sort of happened,” Harry explained with a shrug of his shoulders.
“Seriously, that easy?” Scootaloo queried disbelievingly.
“Yeah, I know, I’m as surprised as you are that worked,” Harry replied with a chortle. “Now I really must insist we get a move on before we are caught.”
Scootaloo did not need telling for a third time. If they got caught down here she feared they could even face expulsion for what they’d done.
As they swiftly attempted to create as much distance between themselves and the Slytherin common room before anyone noticed just what Harry had done Scootaloo finally couldn’t hold it in any longer and asked, “So, what did you set it to?”
“What Ron suggested,” Harry replied nonchalantly.
“You didn’t,” Ron exclaimed in disbelief.
Harry nodded his head with a huge grin across his face.
“Oh shit, we are in so much trouble,” Ron groaned; picking up the pace further not wanting to be anywhere near the dungeons when Snape found out.
“Can one of you please enlighten me? Just what did Ron suggest?” Scootaloo demanded struggling to keep up on her crutches.
“Professor Snape is a massive ****,” Harry deadpanned.
Scootaloo and Neville’s jaws dropped to the floor.
“I thought you told me that’s what you wanted me to set it as,” Harry argued indignantly, only now realising Ron’s suggestion might not have been the wisest choice.
“As a joke. I didn’t think you would actually go and do it. Shit, look out,” Ron exclaimed pushing Harry into a dark corner as a Slytherin prefect appeared out of nowhere in the corridor ahead of them.
Scootaloo meanwhile shoved her arms under Neville’s arms and shot up to the ceiling. To her relief the boy had the brains to remain quiet despite being scared out of his mind from dangling precariously high of the floor. Part of that was also due to Neville not wanting to distract Scootaloo and cause her to drop him as that would almost certainly lead to several more broken bones.
As they waited for the coast to be clear once more Harry whispered into Ron’s ear, “Is this a bad time to tell you I also changed the duration of the password and locked it in with another password.”
Ron dreaded to ask but had to know. “How long?”
“Six months,” Harry said sheepishly.
Ron groaned, they’d be lucky if they received just that long in detention with Snape for this one. Him and his big mouth.
*
“Settle down,” Snape droned pushing past the small crowd that had formed just outside the Slytherin common room.
When the tip of his wand had started flashing red, indicating an urgent summons from one of his prefects to meet them in the Slytherin common room, towards the end of teaching his second-year Slytherins along with the second-year Ravenclaws, Professor Snape had no idea what the reason might be, just that whatever it was, it could not be good. None of the prefects he had chosen would dare to use such a spell lightly for fear of the repercussions they would suffer because of it. Losing their prefect status would be the least of their worries.
As Snape pushed past the small crowd, he found Mathias Bulstrode standing at the front trying his best to keep his housemates calm but struggling to do so.
“Oh, thank Salazar,” the rather frazzled prefect muttered under his breath as he saw his head of house appear through the throng of students.
“Mathias, I hope you’ve a good reason for making me end my lesson fifteen minutes early,” Snape said sternly, his piercing gaze settling solely on the poor prefect.
The usually rigid prefect buckled under the pressure as he stammered in reply, “I-I was just f-finishing m-my rounds sir and heading back to collect my books for my afternoon Potions lesson before heading to lunch when I found the password we had been provided with no longer seemed to be correct. At first I thought that I had maybe missed an update from our last meeting but…”
“No,” Snape interrupted. “The password should still be wormwood.”
He waited for the wall concealing the common room to slide away but nothing happened. Peculiar, how very...
And then he remembered his first double lesson of the day with the Hufflepuff and Gryffindor second-years.
He sighed. “Mr Bulstrode, take the students upstairs, now and stand guard at the top of the stairs.”
“Y-yes sir,” Mathias stammered in reply not daring to question his head of house. He was just about to shout out above the now deathly silent small group of about ten or so students when Snape asked him one further question.
“Mathias, one more thing before you go. Did you see anyone as you were returning to the common room?”
“N-no s-sir,” Mathias replied.
“Are you sure?” Snape pressed.
“W-well actually, now that you mention it, there was a moment when I thought I saw a girl in a frilly pink dress and a dark-haired boy just after coming down the stairs from the Great Hall but then I blinked and they were gone. I thought it was just my mind playing tricks on me, especially as I missed breakfast this morning. Are you suggesting this was sabotage?”
“Yes, I’m pretty sure it is but until this area is secured, I cannot check for certain,” Snape stated solemnly.
“Of course, sir,” Mathias bowed before rising and shouting over the gathered crowd. “Slytherins with me. Due to an error with the password Professor Snape needs time and seclusion to address the matter and he hopes to have it addressed before the end of lunch so that you can acquire any necessary textbooks for this afternoon’s lessons. I cannot provide you with any further information at this time so no questions please unless you wish to be cleaning the Potions lab for a month.”
There were a few mumbles and groans from the Slytherins in attendance but they reluctantly followed the prefect back toward the Great Hall.
As soon as they were out of sight Snape began hissing and spitting like a snake. He had to act quickly in case any of his students tried to come out of the common room.
Parseltongue was believed by almost everyone to be solely a hereditary trait, with all known speakers having descended from Salazar Slytherin. This was not entirely true. Locked away in a secret location in Snape’s personal chambers was a tattered journal passed down from one head of Slytherin to the next over countless generations. It was a rite of passage that any Slytherin head must learn and be able to speak the language of the snakes from their predecessor. The guide assisted greatly with this and also provided many other important pieces of information. These included secret exits out of the Slytherin common room and, as Mathias was about to witness now, how to access a number of the security features in place around the castle, mostly those centring around the Slytherin common room and dormitories.
It was also Salazar Slytherin’s everlasting way of ensuring that, even when he was long gone, those who followed in his footsteps were worthy of doing so, as only a true Slytherin could master such a language.
It didn’t take long for Slytherin’s head of house to discover just what the password had been changed to or the fact that it was now practically irreversible for the next six months.
Professor Snape stormed off to the Great Hall to find those miscreants who had dared to mess with his house. Fuck Dumbledore. He would send Potter, Prewett and Weasley off into the Forbidden Forest on their own for this one to be eaten by acromantulas and that was if he didn’t poison them first.
*
The moment Apple Bloom and Hermione knew their friends had been up to no good was when they saw an enraged Professor Snape push past a Slytherin prefect at the top of the stairs that led down to the dungeons on his way to the Great Hall.
“Three,” Apple Bloom said as the two girls, along with the prefect, hurried after the apoplectic Slytherin head of house.
“Two,” Hermione continued.
“One,” Apple Bloom finished just as Snape slammed open the doors to the Great Hall and roared…
“POTTER, PREWETT, WEASLEY, TO ME THIS INSTANT!”
Scootaloo nonchalantly rose from the Hufflepuff table and hobbled over to the Potions professor with her crutches acting as if she was completely oblivious to what had occurred just twenty minutes previously.
“Something the matter sir?” she asked with feigned innocence as Ron and Harry rather hesitantly made their way to her side from the Gryffindor table.
Snape by now was red in the face with fury. “Detention until the end of the school year,” he bellowed, “And I’ll be docking…”
“Wait what?” Scootaloo interrupted the professor indignantly. “You can’t just go handing out detentions for no apparent reason sir. That’s not fair!” the girl argued.
“You know exactly what you did,” Snape growled.
“Yeah, absolutely nothing! We’ve been out enjoying the last of the summer sun by the lake skimming stones, haven’t we boys?” Scootaloo blatantly lied nudging Harry in the ribs with an elbow.
“Yeah, that’s right,” Ron piped up supporting Scootaloo’s lie at where they had been for the past fifty minutes. “When Harry stated that he had never tried it before as we left history me and Scootaloo offered…”
“Nonsense, utter nonsense. Mathias saw you two as you fled the scene of the crime,” Snape growled pointing at Scootaloo and then Harry.
“Sir, although the dress looks familiar, I wouldn’t feel comfortable saying for certain it was this girl I saw, if I saw a girl at all. And that is definitely not the boy I might have caught a glimpse of. He wasn’t wearing glasses for a start,” Mathias stated coming up alongside his head of house.
Snape turned and glowered at the boy angrily. “HOW MANY OTHER GIRLS WEARING FRILLY PINK DRESSES IN THIS SCHOOL CAN THERE POSSIBLY BE RIGHT NOW!” he exploded before Discord’s cool voice echoed out across the hall.
“Something the matter Potions master?” the draconequus queried materialising out of thin air beside his daughter.
Snape, his face now so red it wouldn’t have looked amiss on a Christmas tree turned from the now cowering prefect and growled ferociously at the draconequus, “YES, your delinquent daughter and her friends have managed to hack into and reset the password to my house’s common room and dormitories!”
“I see,” Discord replied thoughtfully as he stroked his beard. “And do you have proof it was them?”
Snape stalled, suddenly coming to his senses and realising that not only did he not have enough hard evidence to convict the three delinquents but that he couldn’t say any more without revealing some of his house’s deepest secrets.
As such he took a deep breath in and said coldly, “No. But trust me that when I do, I’ll have all three of them expelled for what they’ve done,” Snape snarled turning on the spot and storming back through the huge doors on his way back to the Potions lab.
“Oh my word, that was hilarious. I’ve no idea what you did and I don’t wanna know, but whatever you did, my, oh my, I’ve never seen him so mad before!” Discord wheezed barely holding himself together next to Scootaloo. “Ten points to Hufflepuff and twenty points to Gryffindor. Now back to lunch with the lot of you.”
Scootaloo, Harry and Ron all looked at one another with the same relieved look. They had got away with their prank… for now.
*
Over the course of lunch, Scootaloo, with Apple Bloom’s assistance, managed to avoid the probing questions of her friends and eventually they gave up and moved onto a much more important topic, Scootaloo’s lunch. More specifically, a heated debate on the subject of pineapple on pizza.
Eventually, Scootaloo turned to the only one of her friends who had yet to condemn her choice of pizza topping. “Sweetie, help me out here. Should pineapple be a pizza topping?” Scootaloo
“Huh? What?” Sweetie said distantly to Scootaloo’s left having barely touched her own pizza.
Scootaloo’s jovial mood turned immediately serious. “Okay, what’s up? You barely said a word in History and now you’ve barely touched your lunch.” She paused as her eyes suddenly ignited. “Somebody be mean to you this morning whilst me and Bloom were in Potions? Just tell me who and I’ll make them pay,” Scootaloo growled cracking her knuckles threateningly.
On Scootaloo’s right Apple Bloom rolled her eyes and flicked Scootaloo’s ear.
“Ow, what was that for,” Scootaloo yelped rubbing her ear.
“Aside from being completely oblivious and insensitive, you’ve got yourself into enough trouble for one day,” Apple Bloom said sharply.
“What do you mean oblivious?” Scootaloo queried looking completely lost by her friend’s response.
“Have you seen Wallace even once today?” Apple Bloom asked Scootaloo.
“No…and now that you mention it, when does he ever miss even one meal let alone two.”
“And the Equestrian bit drops,” Apple Bloom sighed manoeuvring her head slightly so that she could address Sweetie just beyond Scootaloo. “Don’t worry Sweetie, I’m sure he’s just on a very important mission and will be back soon,” she said trying to cheer her friend up. “He certainly wouldn’t want you worrying about him like this, let alone passing up lunch!”
“Thanks Bloom, you’re probably right. I hunted everywhere for him during our free period after history with no luck. No doubt Discord has him on some errand or other,” Sweetie replied as she picked up and prepared to take a bite out of her pizza.
“That’s the spirit,” Apple Bloom stated cheerfully. “And to sweeten the deal I’ll even give him his bath tonight when he ultimately does return.”
“Thanks Bloom,” Sweetie sniggered. “I’ll hold you to that one. In fact, I’d do practically anything to get out of bath duties,” she admitted taking a bite out of her pizza only for her face to suddenly turn sour. And then she started spitting out pineapple everywhere much to her friends’ amusement. “Yuck, who stuck pineapple on top!” she exclaimed once she was done.
Everyone immediately pointed toward Scootaloo.
“I should have known,” Sweetie growled levitating an empty platter towards her.
“Erm, Sweetie, what’re you doing?” Scootaloo chuckled nervously not liking the look her friend was suddenly giving her. “It was just a harmless joke,” she feebly attempted to argue.
“As is this,” Sweetie replied cryptically as she began to work her transfiguration magic on the empty platter.
*
“Oh come on Sweetie, be fair,” Scootaloo groused for the umpteenth time as they made their way across the courtyard to Classroom 1B later that afternoon. “Haven’t I been humiliated enough yet?” she added trying desperately to remove the revolting pointed lime green hat with a massive red D written upon it once more from her head. It was stuck fast by Sweetie’s magic.
“Hmm, let me see,” Sweetie replied wickedly whilst stroking her chin. “I’m not so sure. What do you think Apple Bloom and Hermione?”
Scootaloo groaned knowing what her friends’ responses would likely be considering what she had done to Professor Snape earlier in the day.
“Nope,” Apple Bloom responded heartlessly.
“Well, she was very well behaved over the course of our two free periods after lunch and did complete her history essay on the key moments in the uneasy relationship between magicians and muggles over the past millennium,” Hermione stated.
“See, Hermione gets…” Scootaloo began only to be cut off as Hermione added to her initial statement.
“But she did also deliberately sneak off after History and miss our first free period to get up to mischief. I think one more lesson wouldn’t hurt in getting the message across.”
Scootaloo’s head dropped as she grumbled under her breath, “I hate you three sometimes.”
“Well, maybe next time you’ll think twice about skipping our tutoring sessions to go and play pranks,” Hermione chided as they reached the door.
“Or tease me and put pineapple on someone else’s pizza,” Sweetie added.
“Let’s just get this over with,” Scootaloo sighed pulling open the door to the Transfiguration classroom.
Professor McGonagall was already waiting for them.
“Glad you could make it girls. Please, take a seat. I’m not even going to ask why Miss Prewett is still out of uniform or why she’s now wearing a dunce’s cap,” the Transfiguration professor commented as her usually unreadable and emotionless face faltered for a millisecond.
Scootaloo buried her head in her hands as she sat down. Even McGonagall, who’d barely a funny bone in her entire body, found her embarrassment amusing.
“Right, I believe that is everyone, so let us begin. Firstly, I’d like to start by stating that any more outbursts or dissention like yesterday’s will not be tolerated no matter what the reasoning may be and shall result in severe punishment as a result, understood?” Professor McGonagall explained.
A chorus of, “Yes Professor McGonagall,” echoed throughout the classroom.
“Excellent. I shall consider the matter closed then. Moving on, today we shall be continuing in our attempts to master the beetle into button spell. I have been informed by Headmaster Dumbledore that Miss Belle did have the sense to at least demonstrate and attempt to teach you the spell yesterday. In a moment she shall be going around the classroom assisting me in helping any of you who might be struggling,” the professor went on as Sweetie’s eyes lit up in surprise at that announcement.
“Now, for five house points can anyone tell me who created the spell?”
A number of the students hands rose into the air.
“Yes, Master Hopkins?”
“Gabor Kiwaly?” Wayne replied hopefully. “At least that’s what Sweetie told us yesterday,” he added looking across at Sweetie with a smile.
“Correct, five points to Hufflepuff. I’m glad to see Miss Belle was able to provide some background to the spell. It was indeed developed by the Hungarian wizard Gabor Kiwaly in the 1700s and I expect to have an essay from all of you on the spell’s origins on my desk by next Wednesday but for now I’d like you all to come and collect a beetle and continue your attempts at Gomb. As I’ve already stated Miss Belle and myself shall be wandering around the classroom to assist if required and the transfiguration alphabet and formula can also be found on the blackboard. Remember though, it isn’t just the transfiguration formula you need to consider but spell pronunciation and wand movement as well,” she finished waving her hand at the box of beetles on her desk as an indication to the class to come and collect one.
*
After about fifteen minutes Scootaloo had practically given up trying to transfigure the beetles into coat buttons as she finally remembered what her father had told her during the summer holidays:
that her magic might not always obey her command exactly, instead choosing a more unorthodox and chaotic outcome.
This was almost certainly one of those occasions and it probably hadn’t helped that her theoretical understanding of Transfiguration was abysmal to say the least. Still, her attempts had at least provided her with a good giggle when both Professor McGonagall and Sweetie Belle had walked past…and chose to continue walking when they looked over her shoulder and saw just what she was managing to produce with the spell.
It had also meant that she had been left to her own devices and not reprimanded for goofing off when, after her third chocolate button in fifteen minutes, she decided to take a catnap on her desk.
In truth, Professor McGonagall had opted to ignore her indiscretion as the path of least chaos.
Scootaloo awoke sometime later feeling very, very itchy as she heard Professor McGonagall bellow from the front of the class for everyone’s attention.
“Alright class. Remember your essays are due…” she got no further.
Bleary eyed Scootaloo and overtaken with the uncontrollable urge to scratch herself, Scootaloo's brain simply couldn't comprehend just what she was seeing for a moment and she initially thought she was still dreaming. A portal of some sort had opened up above Professor McGonagall and deposited Wallace along with five ponies and a small dragon atop her. The fact she was able to immediately identify who they were under all that dirt, pink goo and grime she felt was quite impressive.
"Twilight?" She exclaimed as she continued scratching herself all over much to Apple Bloom and Hermione's amusement on either side of her. "GAH, why am I so itchy?"
"We've no idea, do we Bloom?" Hermione giggled.
"Not at all," Apple Bloom clearly lied. "Maybe it has something to do with sleeping in class?" she added.
Scootaloo was about to attempt a reply as she continued to scratch herself to death but before she could a massive kerfuffle had erupted at the front of the classroom.
"Will you get your sticky hands of...yowch! Stop that you varmint. Bloom get over here and call your friends of this instant," Applejack demanded as the entranced students fought over the cute ponies that had so unexpectedly appeared at the front of the classroom.
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That isn't the kind of talk I was expecting.
And this is why you NEVER pissoff your techers, they are older wiser and mostlikly a heck of allot more divius then 95% of the students combined, and they almost allways got an easy way to get back at you... your class mates.
Love McGonagall! And wow is Apple Bloom going to have a terrible day when she sees that tail
Hmmm, looks like Hogwarts is adapting to the new Chaos better than I thought.
Ok, 1)Bloom is in for a bad time with Weasley grade prank. And lost bet. And 2) something chaotic that could happen around Scoots is someone getting turned into a goose.
10776205
HONK!
Okay I have a question, we already learned Scootaloo is a draqones and has a snow leopard tail when she woke up on her birthday in the first chapter, we also know that Hermione snatched the hypnotism book from Scootaloo as bribrage to get her to study. So why did this all get repeated again? My second question is why it seems like Apple Bloom Sweetie Belle Discord and Scootaloo have gone through selective amnesia on that fact that they already found out Scootaloo was a pure bred goddess of chaos and no one is trying the tell them it already happened?
11004760
Due to numerous people being unhappy with the direction the story was taking along with myself I have sadly been forced to edit and re-write the entire second book from not killing Celestia in the bridging story onwards which then caused a domino effect bringing forward the whole draconequus thing. This has been clearly indicated both in Capitals on the story description and in my blogs, currently I've done up to Chapter 8 Morning Mischief and Mandrakes. Sadly I'm only one man with a 30-40 hour week job so these edits might take up to Xmas at least, why story is on hiatus, sorry! but I want it to be the best for everyone. Thank you for your interest and I'll hopefully have nine, Trouble in Transfiguration, done either later this week or sometime next.
I was in the middle of "Hermoine's Birthday". What happened to that chapter?
11050051
It was part of the original book 2 that was axed. It would have been re-written shortly, probably not as much as other chapters, but I've sadly just grown apart from the story in recent months and decided enough is enough. Am I enjoying writing this anymore, no, am I getting anything else out of this, no. Part of me still longs to continue but my rational mind says it just isn't worth the aggro anymore.
11051706
That's too bad. After two months of being extremely busy (family, training, but mostly lots and lots of work!) I've finally had a chance to sit down and get caught up on this story. I've thoroughly enjoyed this story and it will be sorely missed (it's what kept me sane at the gym between sets!). I do hope you keep writing and can find a story that fills you with satisfaction.
Dreadnought
11052501
Sorry for that, although I can't believe how much of my free time it was taking. I will be continuing writing but more short punch comedy fics, my current idea is a Scooby Doo satirical parody featuring the CMC again, I just love the bundles of mischief, and Daring Do, of course. The basis is there in my head, juts need to sit down and type it out.
Can you at least tell us how you were planning on wrapping up this story?
11053569
Book 2 would likely have focused on numerous things, the main plots focusing on repairing and building relationships along with Lucius seeking revenge against Scootaloo. We would have seen how Werewolf Hermione and Draconequus Scoots got on, had fun in lessons with Cornish pixies, butterbeer brewing and witnessed a record amount of swears from Wally in Charms during skurge charm practice. There would have been an opposites week where the professor's monitored another professors work, sex ed in cultural diversity and so on. Sweetie and Rarity would hopefully reconcile but trouble brews as a civil war momentarily threatens Equestria, until Luna dealt with it. Discord and Fluttershy marry and be happy, AB and Snape finally blow up the school (joking) and the class are set a prickly task in Transfiguration that leads to a terrible accident and the return of Peter Pettigrew. And I wouldn't have messed with the quidditch team this time either. I won't say the story is dead just indefinite hiatus.
11054098
Wow. That sounds awesome!
11054805
Thanks, I'm still questioning my decision about axing the project but one thing I can't deny is the amount of time it was taking out of my life.
11054991
even a chapter a month or every couple months would be good
Hermione said glumly staring at the floor.
why do you drop the word "the" so often? even in Narrative, aside from the Professor's speach..
11334208
I haven't studied English since my GCSEs nearly 15 years ago. I apologise if my grammar is a little of in places, not that i care much now this story is dead but if you have any constructive criticism and ways I can improve my grammar feel free to suggest. Also, "staring at floor" wouldn't make any sense so there is that.