My last words, to you

by Weisted Machine

Goodbye

Dear Rainbow Dash,

Well, I never thought this would come true, but it is happening now. I'm sorry to say, but I will be leaving, in this world of dark, where I'm heading there is a light. I'm sorry Rainbow, I know this is wrong but I'm fed up with this. I'm tired of everyone pushing me around, and every night I cry myself to sleep. I'm always the doormat, and here's something I thought I would never admit.

I have no self confidence, no pride. I've been hurting for years now, and today it was unbearable. After the party last night remember how you all hung out at Twilights house, and no one waited for me except you? That's when I knew it, your the only pony I can tell before I leave.

And Rainbow, I thought I'd never tell you this but.. I love you. I have ALWAYS loved you, the first time I laid my eyes on you. Your rainbow mane flowing in the wind while you did your fancy tricks. Even though I'll be gone, I will still remember the time when you let me stay the night at your house when I had nightmares. You were there to comfort me, and no one else. i trust your the only friend who cares. Maybe Twilight, but I'm not so sure. She's to wrapped up in studies to notice me, same with the others.

But anyway, I dunno I love you, and that's it. I don't know if you feel the same about me, but I hope you do. I'm afraid to tell you that I will be one of many of Celestia's stars tonight. The pain will be gone, and I will watch you from above. I wish I could have one more moment with you, I want to hold you in my arms one more time...

Good bye Rainbow Dash, my best friend and my love.

Rest assured knowing I'm in no more pain.

Fluttershy.

Dear Fluttershy,

WHAT DO YOU MEAN IN THE STARS!? Where are you going!? Are you ok!? You know we all care for you, and I'm sorry the others treated you like crap, but truth is, I love you too! And, I don't believe it... If you told me your feelings, I would have stuck at your side, and helped you through this! I'm sorry for being a stuck up jerk most of the time!!!! Come back, please!

Your lover,

Rainbow Dash

Dear Fluttershy,

It's been a week since I sent you that letter, and I'm really starting to worry! Where are you!?

Dear Fluttershy,

Two weeks, Fluttershy. After the third day of your disappearance, The girls came to me asking where you were. I just told them you went on vacation, and they didn't seem convinced but they left. This won't keep up for long!! And I'm actually thinking I'm going insane without you! I want you, I NEED you, and I miss you. Fluttershy, please come back?

missing you dearly,

Rainbow Dash

Dear Fluttershy,

Where are you and why aren't you responding to my letters!? It's been a month since I haven't seen you, and the girls are mad I won't speak. You need to come back! For my sake, please?

missing you dearly,

Rainbow Dash

Dear Fluttershy,

I re-read your letter, and I think I got what you were saying. At the same time I finished, the girls showed up at my door and told me if I didn't say what I was hiding about you, they would write to Princess Celestia about Fluttershys disappearance. So, I told them. It was a big stress relief, I didn't like hiding it from them. Twilight was the understand what you meant when i said, 'Fluttershys in the stars' and immediately burst to tears. The other girls reaction was no different. I don't get it! When I asked, they said that they will tell me another time! Jerks. Anyway, their all worried, but I worry more. Come home please!

Heartbroken and Missing you,

Rainbow Dash

Dear Fluttershy,

I finally understood what you mean... Apple Jack dropped by earlier explaining and at that moment, I lost it. I cried for hours and Apple Jack stayed with me. When it was at least 12 am, Apple Jack had to leave. It's been 8 hours since I found out what you meant, and I'm still crying.... Your funeral is in two days, and ... I don't know what to say. Why did you do it Fluttershy why? I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU! WHY DID YOU DO IS FLUTTERSHY WHY!?

Sad and Broken,

Rainbow Dash

Dear Fluttershy,

Today was your funeral. I swear, there was over 100 ponies and animals there and none of them were a dry eye. Even Princess Celestia was crying so hard, she had to take a break. Everyone had something to say about you, and they were all good. When It was my turn, I nearly collapsed but I went anyway. My voice was to shaky to keep still, but I managed to say I loved you.

Fluttershy, even though your gone, I won't be the same. Your disappearance.... Is just to... hard to handle, you know? But I soon realized, we won't be separated for ever. One day, we will come together and we will be together. Together for ever. One day, Fluttershy. I'll just wait, no matter how long it will take, I will wait, even if it takes over 50 years my love, I will wait.

Goodbye my lover and my bestest friend,

Rainbow Dash

Rainbow Dash put her quill down, and broke into tears on her table. Dash took all her strength to get back to her hooves and out a door, leading to a balcony showing the sunset and the stars above it. She looked up and looked at the starry sky, looking for something to show a sign Fluttershy was there. Her eyes fell upon a a twinkling star, it was flashing brightly. Rainbow Dash looked at it and shook her head before turning to head inside when a voice called to her from behind.

"Oh Rainbow Dash!" Rainbow Dash whipped around to see a ghostly image of Fluttershy, standing before her. Yellow mist poured under Fluttershys hooves, and Rainbow could see the rail of her balcony through her lover.

"FLUTTERSHY!" Rainbow Dash called.

Fluttershy stiffled a sad smile. "Rainbow Dash.... "

"Oh... Why did you leave?" Rainbow felt her tears fall from her face.

"Pain drives you to do crazy stuff" Fluttershy laughed a slight.

Rainbow looked up. At the same time, they nuzzled each other affectionally.

"I can't believe you love me.." Fluttershy whispered and Rainbow Dash pulled away.

"You got my letters?" Rainbow asked. Fluttershy nodded.

"All of them" She said. At the same time, a different star began flashing and Fluttershy planted a small kiss onto Rainbows snout.

"I must leave, but we will see each other again" Fluttershy said before looking back at her lover once more before taking a leap into the sky, running towards the stars. Then she was gone.

Rainbow Dash smiled and more tears fell from her eyes, except these weren't tears of sadness, they were tears of joy.
Rainbow Dash looked up back into the sky, where she thought she saw Fluttershy's star blinking at her.

Comments

[Foalicon_]

shyest

[Something Eight]

Why is Fluttercide even a thing?

[Vargras]

The entire premise is simply awful. She killed herself for being too shy? Really?

[Adaptive]

Sorry bud, but without a serous build up I can't take the note seriously. It's hard to feel the emotional pain one receives from just a short love/suicide note. And about that, I don't know about you but I if I only had one thing in my life left worth fighting for, I would keep fighting. Especially if that one thing is the person I love. Now I'm not going to down thumb this, but at the same time I can't thumb this up. If you had a heart wrenching build up or a more detailed note it might work. Also why wouldn't Dash just go check on Shy instead of sending notes. If she went missing then the rest of the elements would go looking for her.

[dontexistanymoresorry]

ummm.... more Fluttercide... well... ill be honest, i thumbed down... it had virtually no build up, it was crazy short... and on top of that, there was a FlutterGhost??? really? sorry man, but ya GOTT have some SERIOUS build up, some legitimate plot and story ark, and then you gotta explain a bit about the ghost BEFORE, WAY before you introduce FlutterGhost. anyway thats all, its fics like this that HAVE potential. however... they just start at the end of the story... if you want some advice or examples on how to present suicide, i would suggest Reading Friendship is Tragic. great fic honestly. anyways rock on my friend!

[Pjoelj]

It did have a fair few issues.
First of all, I find the whole time-span odd. Over a month until they found out? Assuming they did find the body for the funeral, finding the body didn't take too long, how did nopony find it for a whole month?
Second, Dash not understanding what had happened until she was outright told just feels off. It wasn't that unclear a metaphor and Dash isn't stupid.
Third, why did nopony check if anything had happened? She was missing for over a month, for the love of the stars!
Fourth, what's with the ghost part? It felt like it came of out of nowhere. You could've ended it on pretty much the same note some way that felt less, well, forced, not to mention a complete break from the narrative.

Other than that, there were a fair few grammar errors and typos as well:
"Your" and "You're" are two different words, as are "Their" and "They're". "Your" and "Their" means something belongs to you or them, respectively, while "You're" and "They're" is short for "You are" and "They are"
Applejack is called Applejack, not Apple Jack.
I noticed a few other minor things, such as a couple lowercase letters that were supposed to be uppercase, missing commas, minor spelling errors and such. Might want to give those a look.

I'll admit, this wasn't very good. But, hey, you're trying, meaning you're closer to success than I am. Just keep trying.

[05rune]

The letters infected my soul with a melancholic grief, but the apparition scene needs to be atmospheric and terrifying. Fluttershy needs to haunt and smite the worms that tread Equestria, not give them comfort.

[Scribblestick]

Review time!

1) I actually don't mind the premise, nor do I mind that Fluttershy's death isn't explained in depth. The way I saw it, the focus was on Dash's reaction, not why Fluttershy did what she did. And lets face it, suicides don't always make sense. They come out of the blue. Keeping me in the dark helped me relate more to what Dash was going through. I thought the letter format worked well to this end.

2) That being said, why didn't Dash tell the others immediately? There was no reason for her to hide what was happening, and if she was really concerned, she would have turned to her friends first, not waited until they pressured her into opening up. It just came off as very OOC to me.

3) The spirit-vision-whatever thing at the end killed it for me. It's cliche'd, and it's a lazy way of resolving the conflict. Figure out a way for Dash to come to terms with her grief on her own. Your story will be more powerful that way.

Hope that helps!

[Soraen]

Apparently Fluttershy is a Jedi.

[Symphony]

1213801
I was just cruising around fimfic without reason, and then I saw your comment. My ribs are hurting from laughing so hard.

[Philipony]

I loved this story so much! I almost burst into tears actually! Good job sir! I only have one critisism though, Fluttershy's ghost. I know it's heart warming and sad, but it did seem a tad overboard. Overall though, I liked this story, and I think you should write more!

Well Done,

~Juouikl

[Weisted Machine]

1213240

Thanks for the feedback, I know I'm not a good sad fiction writer, and that was first attempt. I'll try to put more sense into the next one is type :3

[Weisted Machine]

1214035

aw thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

[Weisted Machine]

1213053

its tough being unoticed half the time >.>

[Pe4ceKeep3r]

liked it! basically for me fluttershy did this because of depression. well for me. your story got a good grip on me. (got more hooked when it suddenly rained here. fuck!) quite relieved when i read the final parts. good story bro!

[Weisted Machine]

1218216

aw thank you so much! Yea, deppression drives you to do crazy things xD and I'm glad you like it

[KittyBells]

I loved it! But next time, you need a story to base it off of! Write more in between notes, and give Rainbow that spunk she needs.
Be more descriptive and try to not repeat phrases (such as, her lover, or her love) as much. But it's a wonderfully written story, I like the style! (I can imagine this in my head.)

[Pe4ceKeep3r]

wow. even after months this thing still haunts me.

[Polly]

Woops, I accidentally revoked this. Feel free to resubmit it.

[Weisted Machine]

1506963

Ok, I resubmitted just now

[Mineingcreeper11]

I lost it after the funeral

[Sylevette Hooves]

Perhapes you can make a story where Dash is the only one that sees Fluttershy's ghost? That seems like it might be a good continuation.

[Weisted Machine]

2608359

That's a good idea, I'll start writing soon. Thanks c;

[Sylevette Hooves]

Keep me posted on the developments