• Member Since 15th Sep, 2016
  • offline last seen 11 hours ago

xombiekilla


"The clever are not so much looking for loneliness as they avoid the fuss created by fools." - Arthur Schopenhauer

T

Twilight meets her friends for the first time by order of her mentor, Celestia. The solar princess then managed to save her sister with the help of Twilight and her new friends. Together, they managed to restore peace to Equestria for a time.

But as anybody would know, that kind of time usually never lasts for very long. Now they do their best to both be the protectors of their land and to learn to live their day-to-day lives. Unfortunately for them, they meet a new threat that desires to transform Equestria into a totalitarian industrial utopia in his own image.

Now with Equestria on the line, the doctor must be stopped whenever he enacts one of his many schemes.

Chapters (15)
Comments ( 10 )

I'll have you guys know, I actually don't mind some positive criticism or just some friendly chat to shoot the breeze. Honestly, I'd enjoy it very greatly and it's hugely encouraged. At the same time however, I am not so socially inept that I cannot distinguish the difference between a jest and a jab.

So if you're thinking about trying to troll cleverly then pass it off as a jest, I'll know. If it's all genuinely just fun and games, I'll know. Maliciousness is not and will not be tolerated, period. I may very well be an introvert, but I might surprise you guys with my boldness. So just to enunciate that while I do not feel any ill will for anybody, I'm also not stupid, neither.

10761108
Hum, keep in mind this is just my observation on my part, but looking at the tags and the synopsis I am I have not clue what the story could possibly be about, and don't make sense at first glance. While I am curious about what the story is about, especially the sci-fi tag and the human the fact that that the synopsis tells next to nothing what the story will be focused on the scientist(I read the first chapter) and what he will be doing is a bit of a turn off. Nothing about what I see in the description indices me to investing the time in reading it. While I do like a mystery to a story, I do need at least some tease to get my attention and get me to want to learn more. looking at the second chapter seeing that the human scientist travels to that new world and want to give Equestria a high technological leap would really help to get more attention from readers and would help get reader to want to make the leap in reading it. Writing style, while very solid, lacks fare to make it sound really engaging with actions plainly describes, you could use a little more liberties in the descriptions of action like being more hyperbolic visual descriptions . I would say a major flaw, which is typical for enthusiastic beguines, in the writing would be that you then to rely a lot on dialogue to explain what the characters intentions are feeling and thinking, like in TV show which is limited, giving off a more 'superficial' feeling of the story and neglect taking advantage of meaning in on the narrator to describe characters perspective or intentions, which is the only real thing missing in your writing of a situation; we see what the characters are doing but we don't have a sense of WHY they are doing it.

At the moment, I have the feeling that English isn't your first language, which is the same for me, but I wish you good luck on your writing. Good luck on your story.

10773103
Thank you for your input. The goal is that Dr. Bruner is sick of humanity and originally wanted to create a new world in his image to rule as he felt fit to do so. But he accidentally ended up in Equestria when his dimensional machine botched up his coordinates. Now with no way back to Earth, he's forced to adapt to this new world. He soon meets the princesses and elements and they began to become fast enemies. His goal clashes with theirs and he'll stop at nothing to make the Bruner Empire a reality.

Also keep in mind that this is a re-imaging of seasons 1 - 9. The more the story progresses, you'll find out more on the doctor's origins and how and why he became what he is today.

10773335
Okay good that makes more sense now, and I think you can put it in your synopsis of your story it would help a lot to get more attention on it. Also I would strongly suggest that you add your story in various groups that relate to the theme of your story

10773338
He's basically the Eggman of Equestria. So you'll find out how he reacts to the events of the series.

"Well then, I owe Twilight an apology. Now that you so foolishly have revealed yourself, I'll deal with you, personally." Luna joined in.

Actually, you SHOULD owe her a Huge Apology!!!!! Also, for being a naive idiot for not telling the difference between your real niece, and the fake imposter. AND FAILED to protect your entire kingdom from a hostile threat from the Changelings! I think they should be dire consequences for this.

10786959
I agree. The third and final part to the wedding disaster might satisfy you.

Hasbro's first mistake was leaving Luna out. Their second? Making everyone gullible and stupid.

The elements, minus Twilight were fighting off the changelings as they were surrounded. "Right, okay. We should have listened to Twilight. Maybe then this wouldn't have happened." Rainbow said as the army moved in and they had no choice but to fight.

Oh you think, Dumbass?! :facehoof:

At long last, it finally got one dislike. I was beginning to wonder when that would happen. Silver lining, it did remain without dislikes for about a few months. Small accomplishments.

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