• Member Since 24th Jan, 2015
  • offline last seen April 16th

MisterNick


I live life deliciously.

T

Jamaal had planned to hook up withe Keisha at a party. When things don't pan out and he leaves early his night goes from bad to weird.


(narcotics due to what is floating in the air and some alcohol consumption)

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 16 )

Great start. Can’t wait to see what happens next.

Not today Satan!

There are some who say the challenge of getting away from these animals is... IMPOSSIBLE.

synonym for avoid

A Ford Escape T-boned me once in my Oldsmobile Delta 88. The occupants of the Escape all went to the hospital. I went to school.

this reminded me of an old folktale I read somewhere, It sounded like the author read it. here goes my telling in my own words...

There once was a preacher who was caught out in the rain. It was pouring and he saw an old house in the distance. It gave him a slight shiver and he felt a bit uneasy, as if the place was finding him slightly repugnant, as he took shelter within the crumbling wreck.

As he sat down reading his bible, (I'm not christian, not when I believe in the sacredness of other pantheons, but I do have faith in Jesus Christ. bible is only because it is from the telling that first came to mind) he saw a black cat enter the building. It stared at him and moved back a bit when it saw the bible, but other than that, it just curled up near the fire which he had built from scrap wood lying in the house.

The preacher simply went back to reading the old testament. Right in the middle of his reading he heard another cat enter. this one was unusually large for a cat, and when he saw the first one, the smaller cat spoke,

"Is it time?"

"Not yet. Wait till Martin comes."

A bit after the preacher got through the crucifixion, a third cat came, the size of a mountain lion or tiger. The other two looked at it and the second spoke,

Is it time now?

"No. Wait till Martin comes."

The preacher turned pale at the thought of what Martin might be, and ran out, hollering back at the house,

"If Martin shows up, tell him I couldn't wait!"

I sat down to write, coincidentally a story that also contains a Jamal (but with just the one a), and I had to procrastinate by reading some Ponyfic. Clicked on this because I wondered if it was based on that old short story that I always enjoyed. And it is! I started laughing at this line: "Yet, it was too small for a horse." and it stayed funny after that. The characterization in the close third pov was good, too, to keep the beginning interesting, and I loved how you changed the story from the original based on whom you'd included.

10692845
It's a one shot but if it can get my feelings about creating back up to snuff again that would be a good thing!

10692993
There is truth in what you say. So what you're saying is with Ford there is ... No Escape? I think the weirdest sort of kind of accident I was in was when I went off the ramp on the interstate. That was different.

I think 'Jamaal' became 'Apollo' and flew

10693432
Oh yes I'm familiar with Wait Until Martin Comes. It was one of the stories that was collected in one of the Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark books. I think it originated in West Virginia but I can't recall. What you've laid out was the story though instead of a preacher I remember it being an old man. Also depending on the version of it sometimes he gets away, sometimes he doesn't.

Regardless, I thought it was a story that could be expanded upon, if only a little bit and in some way given a little bit of a twist with some MLP characters.

10693450
Well, I'm glad I could write something that you enjoyed! I have to admit that it was pretty fun playing around with an old folktale like that.

10695687
Good one! All we know for certain is that his last name wasn't Creed.

10695657
I can see that. I have also been in a funk for awhile and now slowly been getting back into it again.

10695696
I have read a couple of variants, one involved a southern preacher, and my telling was based on what surfaced in my memory.. Second favorite creepy folktale happened in my home, Washington State. I can't remember the specifics, but it involved a farmer hung unjustly by 5 vigilantes putting a curse that they would all die screaming. Shame I can't tell a good rendition from my memory. but I can find my 3rd favorite

10695817
Well, here's hoping that your get out of the bad funk and into that good funk where you can be a shining star ... no matter who you are ... again!

10696096
Your third favorite story is a good one. The second kind of reminds me of the plot to a TV movie called Dark Night of the Scarecrow. In that story a group of men who think themselves vigilantes but are really more bullies murder a man for something he didn't do. When he was murdered he was hiding in a scarecrow. The men are brought to trial and acquitted but soon after they begin to be stalked by a scarecrow and one by one are killed.

10703935
Well the vigilantes were drunk, and I have only read this story in books on my states folklore (I don't watch tv really)

I know this story. With the three cats and the preacher. I referenced it in something that I wrote years ago. Awesome seeing it again.

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