• Published 22nd Feb 2021
  • 118 Views, 4 Comments

Adagio's Evil Council of Doom - Dawn Flower



An MLP: FiM take on Marik's Evil Council of Doom by LittleKuriboh.

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Sixth Meeting

Somewhere in the Badlands…

Deep beneath the arid ground, in a large underground chamber, several of the most powerful beings in Equestria and beyond sat around a large, round, stone table.

At the top of the table, Adagio Dazzle stood, singing to herself. “We will be adored. Tell us that you want us. We won't be ignored. It's time for our reward. Now you need my butt. Come and heed my butt. Nothing can stop my butt!”

As Adagio kept singing, Lightning Dust lay slinked over the table, with an annoyed expression on her face. “She's been singing this for several hours.”

“Yeah, it's getting annoying!” Gilda followed up, with her talons shoved in her ears to try and drown out Adagio’s singing.

“Every other time she sings it, she changes one of the words to ‘butt’. Eventually she will just be singing to word ‘butt’. Over and over… and over.”

“Repetition is the second-lowest form of humour!” Gilda shouted out. “Right next to reference jokes!

“Yeah. Repetition sucks,” Aria added with fake enthusiasm, whilst absently playing with her hair.

“Yeah. It sucks!” Sonata agreed with actual enthusiasm.

“It is I,” Adagio suddenly cut in, with a loud smack against the stone table to ensure that attention was now on her. “The leader of Adagio’s Evil Council of Doom, who shall decide if and when something sucks, and I declare that I do not.”

Could have fooled me,” Thrackerzod said to the side, in a half whisper.

That seemed to grab Adagio’s attention quickly. “I’m sorry, what was that?” She asked in a condescending manner, turning towards the little filly.

Face it, Adagio. You suck. This whole Evil Council sucks,” Thrackerzod started, turning to face Adagio fully. It gives evil a bad name. And it already had one in the first place: ‘evil’. The worst name possible.

“Well, I think we’re doing a spiffing job myself,” Adagio defended. “Why, just last month we used our Siren magic on Discord to trick him into tearing up his favourite picture of Fluttershy. He was devastated.”

“I'm still not talking to any of you,” Discord spoke up, with his arms crossed, facing away from and not looking at any of them.

“It's so weird how he still comes to our meetings just to tell us he's not talking to us.”

We should not be performing evil acts on one another. We should be forcing our evil upon the forces of good! Destroying their heroes. Making their insides be outsides!

“But that will hurt them! A lot!” Adagio spoke.

That is the point!

“I thought the point was just to laugh and point and just be kind of scary and threatening but never really do anything of merit,” Adagio began. “But also to have lots of good insults for our minions,” she added.

No.

“Silence, foolish minion!” She screamed, pointing her finger at the filly, hard. “See, that's an example right there.”

Being evil is about taking control. About having absolute power and letting it corrupt you to your very core. It is about destroying anything and anyone who gets in your way. It is about enjoying the feel of blood on your hands and revelling in the suffering of others.

Adagio suddenly cocked an eyebrow in confusion. “Wait, I thought your whole shtick was trying to hide just how evil you really were.”

It has been three years and a cancellation!” Thrackerzod retorted in an uncharacteristically loud tone of voice. “Clearly continuity means nothing anymore.

“What are you suggesting, Thrackerzod?” Discord asked, rejoining the meeting.

I am suggesting we vote! Right now. We can either let Adagio continue to lead us down a meaningless path to nowhere because she is too busy pining for her girlfriend to do anything of substance…

“Hey, I've done lots of substances while pining for my girlfriend!” Adagio retorted. Suddenly, she froze in her current position, realizing what she had just said, and she blinked. “I mean… none of what I just said happened happened.”

…or we can elect a new leader. A strong leader. A leader who only needs a nap once a day! Or twice on a particularly busy day.

“Wait, you still take naps?” Adagio asked.

I am a little filly. What do you think?

Suddenly, Adagio smiled to herself. “Funny, Chrysalis liked to take naps but she wasn’t a filly.”

Chrysalis. Always Chrysalis. Well, she has plenty of new friends now. And unless you want to make this simple and go join them, then I suggest we vote. Who should lead the Evil Council? Me or that giant horny idiot over there?

“Hey, uncalled for!” Tirek spoke up, sounding offended.

I am sorry, Tirek. I meant Adagio.

“Oooooooooooooooh,” Tirek realized. “Yeah, he's got you there, mate.”

“Nobody has ‘got me there, mate’!” Adagio shouted out. “I'll show all of you. Before you choose your leader…”

Thrackerzod.

Thrackerzod.

Thrackerzod.

Thrackerzod.

Thrackerzod.

Sweetie Belle.

“No wait, friggin' dumbasses, hear me out first!” Adagio screamed out in frustration. She then took in a deep breath to try and calm herself before continuing. “I'm willing to put things right. I can be the evil mastermind you need me to be. I can do what must be done.” She said as she looked around the table, meeting the gaze of all of the other council members as she spoke. “But first I must go on a pilgrimage. A journey of self-discovery. I can learn those talents that are required for true evil to be victorious. But I need a week. A single week to learn from the greatest teacher that evil money can buy.”

“Oh, so you got that Groupon deal for the evil lessons,” Discord chimed in.

“What?” Adagio suddenly stopped, like a deer in headlights. “No, I… I was summoned…” She stuttered. “By a dark emissary who promised to unveil such incredible…”

“Yes, see, it's right here on Groupon,” Discord continued, pulling out a laptop. “‘Seven Days to Learn the Ways of Darkness: Guaranteed to Make You Go from Henchman to Master in 10 Easy Steps’.”

Adagio let out an exasperated sigh. “Alright, fine, I saw it on Groupon, and I jumped on it,” she admitted, with a wave of her hand. “But you guys gotta let me take this course. So I can prove I have what it takes to…”

“Tell me Adagio, are you a belt in an anthropomorphic clopfic?” Lightning Dust interrupted.

Adagio simply blinked and turned to face the turquoise pegasus. “What?”

“I said, are you a belt in an anthropomorphic clopfic?” She repeated.

“Of course I'm not a belt, what are you friggin' blabbering…”

“Because it sounds like you just got ripped the EFF! off.”

The entire council ‘Ooooooooooooooooooo’ at the sick burn.

No, you fools! Cease your "ooooooo"-ing at once!” Adagio exploded in a fit of rage.

“Ooooooooooooooooooo…” Discord oooooooooooooooooooed.

Later, in an undisclosed location…

“So is it true?” Adagio asked. “You can make me actualize the evil within myself? Achieve the mischievous? Take me one step closer to badness?” She sneered evilly.

“Trust me, Adagio! With your money and my easy-to-follow program I'll have no problem making Adagio Dazzle…” M.A. Larson suddenly pulled off a pair of sunglasses dramatically. “Fly with wings!”

To be continued…

“Actually I was hoping, I could just sort of float through the air?”

“Sure.”

To be continued…

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Comments ( 4 )

Um... How is it already cancelled?

10691619
Yeah, I'm confused too.

10691619

10691658
It's a reupload from years ago.

10691708
Why would you re-upload it if you weren't going to continue it?

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