(Can be seen as a sequel to Could Never Be but is not required to read)
It's been a year, and Pharynx still can't get the thought out of his head. Every day, he thinks about it, every night he dreams about what might have been. Thorax tries to help him but he understands that his mate needs time to think about it on his own. But as the anniversary of the day approaches, Pharynx may not have a choice but to face it once and for all.
Written for the Incest is Wincest Found Out February contest.
Chapters (2)
Aw, poor Colorbugs... great start tho!
She? Who is that, Fortuna or something?
Also what’s with all the ———‘s?
10688498
Thanks!
10688500
It's supposed to represent how Phar can't bring himself to even think about those words
And you'll find out who it is when I post the next chapter tomorrow
10688533
Heh, thanks Sunny
And that nymph may not be who you think it is~
10688543
Oh, he's not a duplicate
But you weren't entirely right when you described him
10688552
...Sunny, there's only one more chapter which I'm releasing tomorrow
10688554
Okay then
Woah, what’s with all the downvotes?
10688745
No clue
I guess some people are too thick to ignore the incest and see the story within
10688750
I don’t think it was this bad last time. Was it?
10688752
No, it wasn't...
10688753
Well, hopefully it’ll get better by the time the next chapter rolls around.
10688754
Yeah...
Damn, I just noticed all the downvotes
10688771
Mhm...
10688797
10688771
Is it really because of the incest thing or is it something else?
10688815
No clue
10688815
Not sure
10688816
I don't know about others, but for me...
Yes. Yes, it is for the Incest thing.
10688852
...I clearly stated it contained incest, you could just leave the story be
10688858
Look, I just came due to me following you. I did read it, and I dislike it on grounds of the Incest thing (Because it's degenerate). What I imagine what happened would be people saw the Incest thing when clicking on the story, and dislike it on principle (Again, because it's f***ing degenerate).
Just giving my two-cents.
10688886
Alright, sorry, I didn't mean to offend you
I'm just frustrated, my last Incest is Wincest contest story didn't get this many dislikes...
10688886
Well, aren't you just a ray of sunshine? Thank you ever so much for your hard work in making sure that this heinous act of fictional, completely made up incest is dealt with accordingly. Next up, I suggest you check out some of the latest blockbuster movies and insult their directors because said movies might contain murder. After all, murdering someone is degenerate too.
On a more serious note, there is the door over there, and I suggest you walk right out of it. Nobody asked you to read this story, after specific warnings in the description, and nobody asked for your input on the grounds of incest for an incest-centric story. These are fictional characters in a fictional environment; no real incest is occurring here. Take a moment and learn about the distinction between real life and fiction, because you're enjoying a show about fictional magical horses in a fantasy land. If this author's choice of work upset you so much, the best thing you can do is just unfollow them and move on with your life.
I have reported you to the admins for your harsh, unnecessary language against the author.
10688893
Uh, okay, calm down a bit, I, along with two others did openly ask in the comments why people were downvoting the story
10688896
Even so they came across less critical of the fic and more using it as a excuse to take a shot at you personally
10688942
Fair enough
10688892
Everybody has hits and misses, and when it comes to ideologically sensitive or controversial material, that ratio can be even more severe on an on or off day.
I'm sorry this story didn't go over so well. Don't let it discourage you from writing!
Personally think the like/dislike system is a bit too unrelenting and harsh on this site, given that likes and dislikes translate heavily into certain search result placements.
One downvote can counteract dozens of upvotes, and that just doesn't seem fair to me, no matter what kind of mathematical argument might exist for it.
10689253
Thanks! I won't let it discourage me!
10689253
Wise words, NavelColt.
From what I can tell, it looks like the downvotes might actually be due to that incest thing, though I can't help but wonder if it might be also the Thorax-x-Pharynx thing also, as I'm aware how pairing specific characters seem to rub some folks the wrong way. As far as I can tell what you have now is fairly sound, I don't see any errors (or at least I didn't catch any), formatting is okay, and, honestly, the story seems rather interesting.
Anywho, not a bad write so far, I'm liking what you did, I'm genuinely curious what has happened and where it's going, and to some extent it's kinda interesting to see Pharynx so emotional as this is not the usual emotion I've seen portrayed for him in other stories. Unfortunately, having said that, it puts me an impasse. I usually don't read stories like this, specifically stories that are considered 'Dark' or 'Sad', it's just not my cup of tea when it comes to reading (and because stories in these genres tend to put me in a bad mood), but felt compelled to read it because I was wondering if there's more to the up/downvote ratio like bad grammar or the story's boring than just because what Centurion pointed out. So, while I did find interest in what you already have down, and it has piqued my interest, I'm not completely certain I want to press on beyond this point. I guess I'll just see just how much my curiosity needs to be sated vs. my hesitance to continue.
In any case, I think you're off to a good start; and, I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
F**k I’m sad. I assuming they probably lost a daughter or something similar thereoff, because it definitely sounds like that.
Loved the story dyin to know who the nymph was and this was a cute story. Now matter what the comments say, just go off the views only and the comments & down votes won't matter.
10689504
Thanks, that means a lot
It's okay if this isn't your cup of tea, I appreciate you giving it a try
I just get mad when the people comment saying it's bad, and they didn't even give it a chance
10689518
Sorry...you need a hug?
10689710
Thanks
Aw... that’s bittersweet...
10690142
Yeah...
Wow. Citrine was right.
10690149
Yep, sad though
I’m am still sad, but like, a happy sad. Does that make sense? I don’t think it does, but I’ll still stand by it. Poor Pharynx. Poor everyone, actually.
10690309
It makes sense to me, and yeah. They've been working hard to honor their daughter's memory, but move on from the tragedy
This is far from the kind of stuff I usually read, but I'm glad I didn't skip it. This made me real sad, but in a really good way.
10690354
Thanks
10688893
This is perfect copypasta material lol
I hope you continue this series weather bittersweet with there struggles here or in a happier alt
10690780
Possibly
10690782
Oki and don’t let the people that try to judge you on this it’s obvious to anyone reading how much care you put into the topic and you focused on the ramifications of it
10690786
*Smiles* Thanks, that means a lot
I just wish others would see it too
Okay, review time. This story feels as though it was trying for something daring, but didn’t commit itself in all the areas it should have. Especially from the perspective of it apparently being unnecessary to read the prequel, it feels like a lot of the context is robbed away. There’s little if any pacing here, just words and flashbacks thrown at the audience. Lacking any investment in the characters, it just feels like tragedy for tragedies sake. The story wants you to know someone died, but that’s it. There’s no specific empathy for who died. There's little to no characterization to give the death weight beyond just being death. And there's an overemphasis on mob mentality that’s stated in some… pretty blunt ways. Ultimately, I will admit that I don’t like this story, but it’s not because of the dark subject matter. It’s because it didn’t seem to look past the subject matter and try and be a well-constructed or entertaining story.
10693949
Oh...I'm sorry to hear that, I worked really hard on it...thanks for the feedback
10693954
No need to be sorry. Taste is not something any author can control. You wrote your story the way you wanted it to go, and that's fine. There's people who will like it, and those who don't. As long as you like the product you made, then it's a success in any way greater than my or anyone else's comments might add or detract.